As Bushie's World Turns (The Update Thread)

[Torie]

Ok, fair enough. Wear sex on your sleeve, but keep the sugared soft drinks closeted. Good luck! 

[Torie]

How about we put a part of your expenses as "private" Bushie? You give us the estimate, we have the forum figure out the rest of the spreadsheet, and help you figure where you can cut back to help you save for your Kenyan adventures. You can also tell us if it's possible to cutback on the private expenses.

No, I appreciate the offer, and I know this forum could give good advice as it has over the past 3 or more years of the Update life.  However, I choose to keep it private for obvious reasons that you never know who could be reading this forum and might use it against me.

Bushie, we have more than enough already to put you away for life as it were, but we love you, and would never use it against you. But no problem.  It was just meant as a friendly offer. Whatever you are spending money on, or whatever other transfer payments you are getting that you don't want to disclose, is mere rounding error. As I said, my spreadsheet would lap yours several times over, and well, I have sort of "disclosed" mine. Life is beautiful, and the more you just open up, the happier you are. Closets are just so constricting - veritable self imposed prisons.

[Torie]

am i misreading things here...or is torie being a total ass?

we get it torie...you have lots of money.  you drink a lot.  and you wouldnt allow any child of yours to turn out like bushie...

Well the drink a lot part is false. Lawyers have a license to be asses.

[Torie]

Do you still have the mustache?

Yes, and I'm not getting rid of it.

why not?  just curious....

I don't feel the need to be quite honest.  I'm not really on the prowl for a lady right now, as I'm focused on moving to Kenya in 32 1/2 months and I don't want to be slowed down or stopped by a relationship.  I would rather find a Kenyan girl to make it easier to adopt the children.  It's impossible on my own, but I think it would be easier with a Kenyan girl than with an American girl, if you know what I mean.

I think I am beginning to see a method to your madness.

[Torie]

Speaking of blood tests, one of the factors that caused me to take a major tack in life about 3 years back, and do a full court press to drop 60 pounds in 6 months (protein drink in the morning, cutting out all potatoes, bread and rice and chips), hiring a trainer, and hitting the gym three times a week, mainlining testosterone, and getting more "social," was when my doctor told me hey,  congratulations, your glucose count is up to 101 into the high range (120 means you have diabetes, a most horrible and terrifying and wasting disease as it slowly destroys your organs), and you are doing a splendid job of  moving towards becoming a diabetic, you fat slob you. Yes, he was very blunt about my being a fat, and I admired him for it. My major source of sugar during this full court press period against the fat, was from booze, which I continued to consume. Life is a balancing test.

My glucose count now is about 75-80.  My waist size dropped from 42 to 32. Now, my weight stays about the same, 165-170 pounds, no matter what I do it seems vis a vis food. I eat what I want, when I want. But I continue the balance of the regime.

[Torie]

Do you have any idea what your glucose count is Bushie?  My inquiry here is more about whether you even know, as opposed to what it is.

Your doctor is not giving you the kind of advice you need to effect an actionable program by the way. You know, and I know, you are not going to be walking around Oklahoma streets 5 days a week, no matter what the weather, for 30 minutes or whatever. That is just not practical. And you need to be on a treadmill in a gym, watching your heart rate, and "jogging" up at a slight incline to protect your knees. I wonder if there is some kind of buddy system, where you can hook up with another fat, and hit the gym 3 times a week, at a specified time, to keep each other on the straight and narrow. I did that with a trainer, but that's expensive, and won't work for you, I understand. It was my trainer however, that turned me on to the morning protein drink. That is all I have for breakfast ever, absent some very special occasion. I also consume a variety of pills with it, so it serves more than one purpose.

My top BMI was around 28 by the way, and things were beginning to fall apart, but then I am an old. It is around 12 now. The fat is all gone.

[Torie]

My top BMI was around 28 by the way, and things were beginning to fall apart, but then I am an old. It is around 12 now. The fat is all gone.

You mean your BMI was 28 when you were supposed to be 'so fat and falling apart'?  28 isn't very high at all.

And 12 is dangerously underweight.

Oh I was thinking of body fat percentage. BMI is a different number.  Below is the formula for converting BMI into body fat percentage (or one of them):
Adult Body Fat % = (1.20 x BMI) + (0.23 x Age) - (10.8 x gender) - 5.4 (gender: 1 for male, 0 for female).

A chart about body fat percentage is here.

The formula for BMI is x/(y squared) times 703, with x pounds and y inches, so mine is (170/(73*73))*703, or (170/5329) x 703 = 22.43

[Torie]

4 eggo waffles? Gotta cut that out.

It was either that or starve.  This boy doesn't like to not eat...

That's all grocery stores in Oklahoma have?

It's all that was available at Mom's house at the time.  I wasn't about to starve and I didn't have time to run to the grocery store and fix a healthy breakfast.

Gramps,

Yes, I still eat that stuff, and I know I shouldn't, but since I don't know how to cook (except for Spaghetti and Eggs), and my parents and grandmother haven't come over and taught me in over a year.  We've talked about it many times, but we have never done it.  If I can at least exercise and cut down on the bad stuff, and continue to lay off the regular soda, I'll be at least headed in the right direction. (I still have majority Diet Dr. Pepper with only an occasional regular Dr. Pepper or Pepsi).

Ah yes, learning how to cook. I never had lessons. My mother was a horrible cook. But I got a BBQ, and managed to figure out that if you drop meat or poultry on the grill, it tends to cook. I discovered marinating beef and poultry in terriyaki sauce. I learned to read the labels on rice boxes, about how you put water in a pan in a certain amount, plus a certain amount of rice, drop in some olive oil maybe (you of course would use butter), cover and cook for a certain period of time.

As the years went by, I became more adventurous, and bought a cook book of stuff you can prepare in 30 minutes. Sure it took me twice as long, since I didn't know how to cook, but hey, there was some good stuff in there - like green bean soup.  You get some beans, some onions, some chicken broth soup, and saute the onions,, then heat the beans in the broth with the onions covering the pan, and after about 20 minutes, you blend it, and pour it into a bowl, drop a dollop of sour cream on the top, with some grated almonds, and voila, you have a protein packed dish that will cause your friends to think you are a gourmet cook, particularly if you add a bit of fresh garlic, or some lemon pepper into the mix.

I will save my catfish recipe for later - that one is even better. In meantime, shove some center cut lamb chops into the oven, covered in stone ground mustard (you might grill them first on the Barbee for a minute or two on each side, just to make them looked grilled for appearances sake). Do that, and you will have your way with any dinner guest you might be entertaining. He or she will be veritable putty in your hands.

[Torie]

Bushie, avoid IHOP, McDonalds, B-K, other fast food......admit it you still eat it.  And tell you PARENTS not to cook bad sh**t for you when you eat there......I'm sure your mom would accomodate you.

And Torie, that's all cool and southern Californian, but Bushie can't afford pills, a gym, trainer or  some health food store or anything....if he just eats better and truly does some excercise let's leave it at that for now.

Bushie could  afford a gym and a protein drink. I understand about the trainer expense, which is why I suggested trying to find a fellow fat with whom to set up dates. Keeping appointments is a way to make sure you actually do drag your butt to the gym, even if you would rather do something else.

[Torie]

I dunno torie. Protein costs like $50 for about a months worth of shakes. I would worry about Bushie first getting his diet in check before I worry about him taking supplements. I don't think the guy eats vegetables at all, at least vegetables that haven't been fried/processed/contain bread/cheese.

$50/30 equals $1.66 per breakfast. Add to that the cost of a cup of orange juice as mix. In my experience, that is the singe most effective way to lose weight putting aside being physically active, and in particular jogging.

[Torie]

I dunno torie. Protein costs like $50 for about a months worth of shakes. I would worry about Bushie first getting his diet in check before I worry about him taking supplements. I don't think the guy eats vegetables at all, at least vegetables that haven't been fried/processed/contain bread/cheese.

$50/30 equals $1.66 per breakfast. Add to that the cost of a cup of orange juice as mix. In my experience, that is the singe most effective way to lose weight putting aside being physically active, and in particular jogging.

But does he have that kind of disposable income? He will have to factor in the cost of buying fresh food instead of the cheaper frozen/fast food he is accustomed to, which will also add up. I am trying to go one step at a time with him, knowing in my heart he will do none of what we suggest because it's too hard to do, and what he is eating now tastes better to him.

$2.00 for breakfast, and $20 a month for a cheap gym?  I am not talking about Equinox here.



You can see the array of treadmills I use, the rowing machines, and the assisted chin up and dips device. Hey, I can finally do a chin up without assistance, a new first for the Torie man.  Service personnel in blue shirts wander around handing your fresh towels, and offering to spot you to do bench presses or whatever. The trainers have black shirts. That rack machine near the window under the light is a favorite venue for my trainers to torture me.

[Torie]

Service personnel in blue shirts wander around handing your fresh towels, and offering to spot you to do bench presses or whatever.

Uhhh....can I come to your gym?

Sure.  I will arrange for you to get a week's guest pass. And the weather is Socal lately has been simply marvelous near the beach. Come on down! 

[Torie]

Yes I must say that using the excuse for not taking walkies that folks will think one is a pedophile is most original and novel. Well done Bushie!  I mean if you are going to sit on your butt and be a fat, at least get out of the box as to the reason why you feel constrained to remain in that state. Not having the time or money are far too "pedestrian"  types of excuses.

[Torie]

Bushie, load up on food stamps and think about the earned income tax credit that you will be getting. In the meantime, take a book keeping class.  You do that, and you will be in the hunt for making $20 an hour.

[Torie]

I don't get the fear of renting out your house Bushie. Heck, I rent out lots of properties. Plus the rent you get will be largely tax sheltered by the depreciation that you can take, plus the tenant will be paying for utilities and taking care of the yard (put that in your lease, the duty of the tenant to maintain the yard, and if he doesn't, send in a gardener and charge him for it). 5K or 6K a year after tax is a big number for you. Anything that  I don't have rented out, and am not otherwise using, I get antsy about the opportunity cost involved.

But it won't be the first decision of yours that has baffled me.

[Torie]

Hoping for a White Christmas!

Well, it is Utah...

I was reading online that there is a 53% probability of having 1" of snow on the ground on Christmas Day.

I'm pretty sure Phil was implying something else.

I'll admit, that bird just flew a mile over my head!  Unless it has a Mormon reference, he lost me...

Persons of color are thin on the ground in Utah. Even the landscaping crews tend to be white. I didn't see anyone of color at the two fast food joints I patronized in Provo a few years ago either. In fact the only persons of color I have seen in Utah were in Boulder, two Hispanics tending the horses at a remote guest ranch, very remote, which offered that amenity. Speaking of "color," Boulder, Utah, yes Utah, not Colorado, is the "darkest" place in the continental US when it comes to light pollution, and is at 8,000 feet elevation,, and fairly arid, which equals crystal clear night skies. I plan to go back soon with a telescope when the moon is not making an appearance, to savor the cosmos, while sipping a cocktail on the porch of the ranch. It is an undiscovered treasure, and very cheap, about 80 bucks a night. It won't be for long.

I have so many things to do before I sleep, and time is slipping away.

[Torie]

Hoping for a White Christmas!

Well, it is Utah...

I was reading online that there is a 53% probability of having 1" of snow on the ground on Christmas Day.

I'm pretty sure Phil was implying something else.

I'll admit, that bird just flew a mile over my head!  Unless it has a Mormon reference, he lost me...

Persons of color are thin on the ground in Utah. Even the landscaping crews tend to be white. I didn't see anyone of color at the two fast food joints I patronized in Provo a few years ago either. In fact the only persons of color I have seen in Utah were in Boulder, two Hispanics tending the horses at a remote guest ranch, very remote, which offered that amenity. Speaking of "color," Boulder, Utah, yes Utah, not Colorado, is the "darkest" place in the continental US when it comes to light pollution, and is at 8,000 feet elevation,, and fairly arid, which equals crystal clear night skies. I plan to go back soon with a telescope when the moon is not making an appearance, to savor the cosmos, while sipping a cocktail on the porch of the ranch. It is an undiscovered treasure, and very cheap, about 80 bucks a night. It won't be for long.

I have so many things to do before I sleep, and time is slipping away.

Was this the Boulder Mountain Lodge? I stayed there in 2001. Would love to go back, but not for that drive.

Close, but Boulder Maintain Guest Ranch actually - more remote, more rustic - and cheaper than the lodge.  You can see the deck where one can enjoy a most excellent dinner.  I brought my own booze and medications.    We had the place basically all to ourselves, with the exception of a beautiful fit lady and her 12 year old son staying in an out building, who does a TV cooking show in Omaha, Nebraska, and hiked with her son up to a lake the day before and ran into a bear. Boy, was she a pistol! Fearless and adventurous women turn me on.

I also append a view from the top of the ridge (about 9,500 feet elevation) looking down on the Capitol Reef National Monument area. On a clear day in the rich afternoon light, if the view does not for just a moment cause one to question their atheism, then there is something wrong with them. It is indeed akin to a religious experience. Pity though that since I was there in college (at that time Boulder had nothing but a gas station and convenience market) the aspens have largely died off along the top of the ridge due to some disease. Maybe it was global warming of something!  They added a nice foreground to the view, and in the fall of course were dressed in their rich gold color in all their glory. I think I sat there in a grass meadow savoring it all for about an hour. I just could not leave.





And this overview of the topography gives you some idea as to just why the view is so magnificent. The ridge sort of juts out from the mountain range to the east, therefore affording about a 270 degree view. Magnifico! The LDS did indeed find God's favorite spot on this planet. Yes they did.

[Torie]

Well you know what they say, as this associate attorney I used to work with way back when put it, who admittedly had a twisted and bigoted mind: "[T]he Jews commit the major fraud, and the Baptists commit the petty fraud."  Now again, before you all get upset, I am merely repeating what he said. But well, maybe it kind of fits in this one instance. Maybe. Is this new job in sales, as opposed to taking service calls? 

[Torie]

Jeff, I have a suggestion for you. Don't get a new drivers License, tags and all that before you start working. I've lived by the 3 month rule. You are normally given a 3 month grace period on it, and that way you should be stable at that point. If something happens and you're out of a job before that, and you have to move back to Oklahoma, you wont be out the money for changing them back and forth.

Of course, that's what I've been doing with all my moves this year.

Utah gives me 60 days to change things over, but I want to go ahead and do it if for nothing else so I can register to vote in Utah.  I'll probably do it in early September.

And if the job doesn't work out, you don't mind dropping all of that money into changing all of that?

That's another reason I'm going to fly up there next week to test the waters and make absolutely sure everything is guaranteed and set in stone before we drop tons of money on the movers, the apartment, and the car tag and title.

Do you have a job offer in writing?  Yes, to me, the job you got seems too good to be true, given all the circumstances. Why on God's green earth would they have hired you, with your resume, when jobs like you got have hordes of folks willing to "die for" to get?  How can you train others, when you barely know how to do the job yourself, as you have admitted, with your mental and concentration challenges and all? Very odd.

And if it turns out it is not real, you should shut this thread down. Really.  Of course, I hope it is real, and this fable has a very happy ending. Of course. But I was born, raised, and trained as a rather ruthless skeptic. That is probably a character flaw, but that's me.

[Torie]

And I would like to see a screen shot of the written job offer that you allege exists, Jeff, which was now allegedly suddenly out-of-the-blue for no apparent reason been rescinded. What I wonder is just how much you post here is your real world, and how much is your fantasy world, and just how much you can discern the difference between the two.

[Torie]

Do you still have your OK job, Bushie?

No.  Even if I did, though, $8.75 an hour with gas prices skyrocketing would barely even get me gas money.

Torie,

I've already shredded that job offer because it's no good anymore.  Like I said, though, I'm still looking in Salt Lake City, but I'm not in any hurry out there.  I have, though, learned my lesson and will stay away from call centers.  They are unstable critters and I have been going round and round with them and always end up in the same spot.  I want off the call center merry go-round!!  I'm not going to let desperation get the best of me this time.

You spoliated the evidence Jeff?  Naughty!  When did you shred it?  Isn't it still in the dust bin, since you just found out?  Why don't you go and retrieve it?  

[Torie]

What I wonder is just how much you post here is your real world, and how much is your fantasy world, and just how much you can discern the difference between the two.

Embrace cynicism!:

My default assumption for everyone I meet on the internet is that they're compulsive liars, and nothing they say about themselves is real.  So no, I don't believe much of what Bushie says about himself, nor what most other folks on the interwebs say about themselves, but that's OK.

You may have a point. However the really frightening thing is that everything I post about myself is in fact real.

[Torie]

Did Simfan really call it? Or did everyone in the forum call it?

Sorry to hear, Jeff. Looks like you and I will be in the same state next week. Super scary!

The dots from the getgo were simply not connectable Andrew.

[Torie]

Aside from the "shredding" incident (odd term there - you don't literally have a shredder do you?), it is rather disappointing Jeff that you "hid" that you had been canned from your latest job, until you got a multiple full court press on that one from several posters, and owned up to that at least. And no, I don't believe your story. Beyond what I said before as to the basis of my skepticism, even odder than that to which I alluded to before is that a Utah based outfit would respond positively to a resume out of Oklahoma, revealing a very ragged employment history, involving a job promotion to boot. That seems about as likely as Moses literally parting the Red Sea with a wave of his hand.

I kind of view your thread as akin to a novel, that just goes on forever, and ever, with most of the action as it were in your mind, rather than on the ground. Which is OK for a novel of a certain genre.  

[Torie]

He probably got canned from OK Gas also...which is why he was primed to get scammed.

Certainly, Bushie's work ethic is not bathed in prayer.  I think it is time for his parents to allow him to either sink or learn how to swim.  Maybe he could go live with opebo.

Oh it's jmfcst! Hi there. How are you doing buddy?  See you on the other side.