How do you define anti-gay though? If someone isn't against gays but believes a marriage should be between a man and woman are they anti-gay? I know several gay people and only two that I've ever met have actually supported gay marriage. The others think marriage is for straight people and therefore want no part of what straights identify with. Rather they want their own separate culture and system. I think too often liberals make it sound like they stand for all gays when really the only thing they want to do is appear as sensitive to guilty voters who will look to their stances as heroic. In all reality the only thing that supporting gay marriage does politically is turn an issue into something it's not.
There's really a simple solution to it all, and it can be found in virtually every other Western country's way of handling the concept of marriage.
Churches have the right to regulate their ceremonies - including marriage. The difference between the United States and many other countries is that we seem to tie it all together. Even in the US, when you have a religious ceremony, it is separate from the act of applying for your marriage license.
The two have to be considered separate. The current contract of marriage recognized by the state has legal and secular functions and is by definition a state recognition. Basically, it's a civil union. This means the church has no control over defining it; just because it's called 'marriage' doesn't mean it's seamlessly linked to the church in the modern day.
Likewise, churches get to decide what marriages they wish to perform that are recognized by their institutions and congregations. If marriage has a religious component, it can still done in whatever method the church deems fit without government involvement.
