Romney ran as Independent

[Donerail]

Not that this would ever happen, but wouldn't someone have to run as the Republican candidate, in this scenario?

RON PAUL NINJA DELEGATES

I like this idea

The Ron Paul ninja delegates shall fight the Romney hordes.

[Adam Griffin]

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The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. Let the Paulbots take care of them. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

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Based on the rate of succession of conservative governors to state offices, an incident like this occurs generally once every two to three years. There could of course, be two instances happen simultaneously. My eyes are on Christie. Good God, can you imagine the tectonic effect if 200,000,000 Christies are running around loose?

[Donerail]

The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

Is there any potential for the Mitts to become violent in search of food? If so I'd probably start to make my way out of the Tampa area... And if not, then how would one dispose of the tons of rotting Romney? Dump it in the ocean? Make it into soylent green to feed the hungry? Or does one recycle Romneys?

[Adam Griffin]

The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

Is there any potential for the Mitts to become violent in search of food? If so I'd probably start to make my way out of the Tampa area... And if not, then how would one dispose of the tons of rotting Romney? Dump it in the ocean? Make it into soylent green to feed the hungry? Or does one recycle Romneys?

Whoops, just updated my post to cover some of that. You keep reading my mind! I had just made a map showing the possibility of land recovery:



I would imagine that the Mitts would become full of angst and fear for a short time, but their prime directive is not in line with direct violence.

[Donerail]

The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

Is there any potential for the Mitts to become violent in search of food? If so I'd probably start to make my way out of the Tampa area... And if not, then how would one dispose of the tons of rotting Romney? Dump it in the ocean? Make it into soylent green to feed the hungry? Or does one recycle Romneys?

Whoops, just updated my post to cover some of that. You keep reading my mind! I had just made a map showing the possibility of land recovery:



I would imagine that the Mitts would become full of angst and fear for a short time, but their prime directive is not in line with direct violence.

Given that a magnitude 5.8 quake can crack the Washington Monument... The demoralization of our nation at the collapse of almost all of our famous buildings. President Biden (sworn in by Chief Justice Kennedy immediately following the quake) would immediately face the job of comforting the nation. To address a local issue, and to commend the convention-holding city, would it be possible to take a small shipment of Romney to make an island in Tampa Bay? See, we're having issues with our baseball team complaining about the distance from populated areas in Tampa with them in St. Pete; a filled-in bay would resolve that, or just a baseball island.

But back on topic. Couldn't that angst and fear, while not leading to violence, lead to an instinct for self-preservation, causing them to either steal, beg, or (god forbid) actually work for things like earned income? Or does the natural persona forbid that?

[Adam Griffin]

Given that a magnitude 5.8 quake can crack the Washington Monument... The demoralization of our nation at the collapse of almost all of our famous buildings. President Biden (sworn in by Chief Justice Kennedy immediately following the quake) would immediately face the job of comforting the nation. To address a local issue, and to commend the convention-holding city, would it be possible to take a small shipment of Romney to make an island in Tampa Bay? See, we're having issues with our baseball team complaining about the distance from populated areas in Tampa with them in St. Pete; a filled-in bay would resolve that, or just a baseball island.

But back on topic. Couldn't that angst and fear, while not leading to violence, lead to an instinct for self-preservation, causing them to either steal, beg, or (god forbid) actually work for things like earned income? Or does the natural persona forbid that?

It's possible that you would see Mitts on the street, with signs saying "Will Condescend For Stocks". I'm not so sure that a Mitt could physically engage in low-means paid activity. As far as the Tampa situation goes, there most likely would be enough Mitt go to around:



Could you imagine the real Mitt Romney giving his acceptance speech on top of one of the new barriers, signifying his victory at beating his most formidable obstacle (himself)?

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

For each possible combination of political views and flip flops, the multiverse contains a universe where Mitt Romney has those views. Just think, your favorite candidate could be replaced with a Mitt Romney whose views are your own. We must figure out how to harness the multiverses of Mitt Romneys.

[5280]

A Romney island and continent next?

[Adam Griffin]

For each possible combination of political views and flip flops, the multiverse contains a universe where Mitt Romney has those views. Just think, your favorite candidate could be replaced with a Mitt Romney whose views are your own. We must figure out how to harness the multiverses of Mitt Romneys.

This brings up some interesting points. Perhaps Mitt Romney domestication is possible? Say a family takes in a Mitt Romney and feeds it a good diet of bland starchy foods and milk. Flour and water might work just as well.

You may be able to then proceed to force the Mitt to take on your desired positions. This would be the equivalent of breeding Mitts. In a controlled environment, you become the Mitt's political audience. You can then condition the Mitt into positions where he has to flip-flop, thereby creating another Mitt with a desired result. You can continue this lineage until you have replaced all undesirable positions with desirable ones. The only problem is keeping the Mittosis stable, as it would still continue to flip-flop by default on its own.

A Romney island and continent next?

Here's my choice: The Willard M. Romney Barrier Islands of Georgia.

[Donerail]

For each possible combination of political views and flip flops, the multiverse contains a universe where Mitt Romney has those views. Just think, your favorite candidate could be replaced with a Mitt Romney whose views are your own. We must figure out how to harness the multiverses of Mitt Romneys.

This brings up some interesting points. Perhaps Mitt Romney domestication is possible? Say a family takes in a Mitt Romney and feeds it a good diet of bland starchy foods and milk. Flour and water might work just as well.

You may be able to then proceed to force the Mitt to take on your desired positions. This would be the equivalent of breeding Mitts. In a controlled environment, you become the Mitt's political audience. You can then condition the Mitt into positions where he has to flip-flop, thereby creating another Mitt with a desired result. You can continue this lineage until you have replaced all undesirable positions with desirable ones. The only problem is keeping the Mittosis stable, as it would still continue to flip-flop by default on its own.

Simply after breeding the Mitt to your desired policy positions, try to convince it that it doesn't flip-flop. After this flip-flop causes another round of Mittosis, you have a Mitt that doesn't flip-flop due to its flip-flop on the issue of whether it flip-flops.

[Donerail]

My god, it's affected Newt! Seriously. I wake up and get my local newspaper (Tampa Bay Times) and this is the headline I see:


Gingrich Blames CNN and Liberal Media For Loss in One-Man Debate

ATLANTA — Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich does not deny he lost to himself in a solo debate Monday evening, but claims CNN rigged the results.

Gingrich said he wanted to keep the debate's focus on the nation's economy and a balanced budget, but kept interrupting himself to criticize illegal immigrants, welfare babies, pansy gun control advocates and monogamous people.

"How am I supposed to win a debate when I can't accuse someone of being liberal,'' Gingrich asked. "No politician can do righteous indignation without any opponents, media or followers around. For crying out loud, I'm practically pleasant now.''

Former presidential candidate Rick Santorum said he would pray for whichever Gingrich actually lost.

[Wisconsin+17]

Bumping this hilarious thread.

[Pingvin]

And we need to go deeper...

Mitt Romneys within Mitt Romneys? Are you advocating cannibalism?

I mean Romney-in-Romney. Matryoshka Mitt ftw!

[Adam Griffin]

The background is perfect. It looks like a purply temporal time void has opened up for the sole purpose of 2012 Mitt Romney debating 1994 Mitt Romney.

Someone foresaw this.

[Wake Me Up When The Hard Border Ends]

[ ] Barack Obama (D)
[ ] Mitt Romney (R)
[ ] W. Mitt Romney (I)
[ ] W. M. Romney (I)
[ ] Willard M. Romney (Socialist Labor)
[ ] Willard Mitt Romney (Constitution)
[ ] Mittens Romney (Silly Hats Party)
[ ] Gromit Romney (Libertarian)
[ ] Tree-Loving Romney (Green)
[ ] MITTBOT 2.0 (MICROSOFT VISTA)

Thanks for that, made me laugh, especially the MITTBOT 2.0!