Romney ran as Independent

[Adam Griffin]

I'm pretty sure he would have already had to file the appropriate paperwork and collect enough signatures in all 50 states in order to appear on the ballot as an actual Independent and not be a write-in. It's logistically impossible; even if he did get on the ballot as an Independent, you would still most likely have his name as a Republican choice as well.

In other words:

[X] Barack Obama (D)
[ ] Mitt Romney (R)
[ ] Mitt Romney (I)

I have to admit, though, it would be interesting to see if they would count his cumulative vote in a situation like that or whether he'd literally split himself in two. Flip-flop mitosis.

[Adam Griffin]

Wait, so we'd see the 'severe conservative' running against the 'independent during Reagan/Bush', at the same time?

*popcorn*

Yes, and thankfully Massachusetts is one of the 42, so that he could be the penultimate Massachusetts flip flopper. 5 of the 8 electoral fusion states wouldn't vote for him anyways, so fusion would only save him in South Carolina and Mississippi (Romney doesn't need fusion to win Idaho).

OMG YES YES YES. Can you imagine Mitt Romney running commercials going back and forth with himself? "I'm not trying to go back to Reagan/Bush", "I was a severely conservative governor". What a scenario, somebody should write it out.

[Adam Griffin]

*sigh* welcome to this board for the next four months...

[Adam Griffin]

The background is perfect. It looks like a purply temporal time void has opened up for the sole purpose of 2012 Mitt Romney debating 1994 Mitt Romney.

This scenario is now unavoidable. The Mittosis has reached critical levels.

[Adam Griffin]

Is Mittosis performed like convention biological organisms undergo mitosis? Or is it more like an exponential increase in production capability, producing rates similar to mitosis?

Picture 1 is Mittosis Theory 1; Picture 2 is Mittosis Theory 2:

Mittosis is a severely aggressive biological process, impacting approximately 1 in 20 severely conservative governors. It would be comparable more to traditional mitosis in the way two Mitt Romneys are in effect created from one. Mitt Romneys are impervious to cancer, which is a symptom of the key underlying mechanism.

Whenever a flip-flop is made by a Mitt Romney, it is viewed by the body much like how a misread piece of genetic information would be read. Instead of causing cancerous tumors in the host Mitt Romney's ideology, however, the resulting error initiates a complex and instantaneous process whereby all the inconsistent positions taken by that Mitt Romney are transferred to the new Mitt Romney.

Whenever a flip-flop occurs, Mittosis occurs. This is a survival mechanism, as any one Mitt Romney actually has only one inconsistency (the initial flip-flop that created the Mitt in question). All of the combined inconsistencies are the cumulative output of all Mitt Romneys. Nobody has truly seen the potential devastation until now.

[Adam Griffin]

When the Mitts run out of parties to run in, do we begin to see multiple independent Mitts? Or do they start to create their own parties? Or will they start running for different offices?  How much in additional spending is this projected to cause for various elections departments?

This comes to mind:

This is very much what we are facing. The duplication of Romneys is occurring at a rate far too rapid now to stop. It will only cease when no more positions on issues can be taken. On average, each Mitt Romney is undergoing Mittosis every three days or so. At that rate, we'll have millions of Romneys running around by the end of May.

Imagine the possibilities. They could run for every elected office in the country. Perhaps they'll cooperate on one of the Mitt Romney for President's campaigns and pull out all the stops. Mitt could fire all of his campaign staff and volunteers and replace them with Mitt Romneys.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[Adam Griffin]

What if the Mitts start voting?

[Adam Griffin]

What if the Mitts start voting?

Each Mitt is so self-absorbed that it can only vote for itself.

But theoretically, there may be more Mitts generated than can run for office, at least at the Presidential level. How many combinations can there be on every stance? Possibly more than the number of current voters in this country. It's also possible to have identical Mitts. If two different Mitts make two completely different Mitts due to random flip-flops, those two separate Mitts are still able to proceed to flip-flop and by chance, create two Mitts with the same positions. This will certainly happen many, many times before all combinations of stances are reached.

[Adam Griffin]

What if the Mitts start voting?

Is that voter fraud?

Not if you're rich and white. Plus, each Mitt is a dynamic, unique creation (even the "duplicate Mitts" as mentioned above). Unfortunately, I do not believe each Mitt has his own money.

[Adam Griffin]

Is that voter fraud?

Not if you're rich and white. Plus, each Mitt is a dynamic, unique creation (even the "duplicate Mitts" as mentioned above). Unfortunately, I do not believe each Mitt has his own money.

But only the original Mitt (henceforth referred to as The Original) is rich and white, due to the Mitts not having their own money (or do they have a large collective... reservoir-sized vault, I guess... of money that they share?). Also, could Mitt flip-flop on the issue of race itself, producing many different races of Mitts? Or on gender, making Mittita?

Original Mitt owns the money, definitely. Even if he were subsidizing all the other Mitts, by July Mitt's current net worth - divided evenly among all Mitts - would equal less than $1.00 per person. Certainly there's a hierarchy of some sort, though. Respect for the one who gave birth to it.

As far as racial/gender combinations go:



When we're talking about millions of Mitts, there certainly is the possibility of anything. I'm assuming he would have to directly infer that he is a person of another race or a woman, but based on the flip-flops we've already seen, it's certainly possible. Statistically, I would say that most minority Mitts would be male, while most female Mitts would be white. This would be due to the fact that it would be more likely for any given Mitt to refer to itself as a women or of a different race than a woman of a different race.

Probably way under 1% of the total Mitts.

[Adam Griffin]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. Let the Paulbots take care of them. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Based on the rate of succession of conservative governors to state offices, an incident like this occurs generally once every two to three years. There could of course, be two instances happen simultaneously. My eyes are on Christie. Good God, can you imagine the tectonic effect if 200,000,000 Christies are running around loose?

[Adam Griffin]

The Mitts will have to starve. Do not feed the Mitts, before or after midnight. My best guess is that no more stances can be taken after the convention, at which point there will be no other way to get on the Presidential ballot. Mittosis should cease at this point, but we could have anywhere from hundreds of millions to billions of Mitts roaming around. Have you ever seen 100,000,000 tons of rotting Romney before?

Is there any potential for the Mitts to become violent in search of food? If so I'd probably start to make my way out of the Tampa area... And if not, then how would one dispose of the tons of rotting Romney? Dump it in the ocean? Make it into soylent green to feed the hungry? Or does one recycle Romneys?

Whoops, just updated my post to cover some of that. You keep reading my mind! I had just made a map showing the possibility of land recovery:



I would imagine that the Mitts would become full of angst and fear for a short time, but their prime directive is not in line with direct violence.

[Adam Griffin]

Given that a magnitude 5.8 quake can crack the Washington Monument... The demoralization of our nation at the collapse of almost all of our famous buildings. President Biden (sworn in by Chief Justice Kennedy immediately following the quake) would immediately face the job of comforting the nation. To address a local issue, and to commend the convention-holding city, would it be possible to take a small shipment of Romney to make an island in Tampa Bay? See, we're having issues with our baseball team complaining about the distance from populated areas in Tampa with them in St. Pete; a filled-in bay would resolve that, or just a baseball island.

But back on topic. Couldn't that angst and fear, while not leading to violence, lead to an instinct for self-preservation, causing them to either steal, beg, or (god forbid) actually work for things like earned income? Or does the natural persona forbid that?

It's possible that you would see Mitts on the street, with signs saying "Will Condescend For Stocks". I'm not so sure that a Mitt could physically engage in low-means paid activity. As far as the Tampa situation goes, there most likely would be enough Mitt go to around:



Could you imagine the real Mitt Romney giving his acceptance speech on top of one of the new barriers, signifying his victory at beating his most formidable obstacle (himself)?

[Adam Griffin]

For each possible combination of political views and flip flops, the multiverse contains a universe where Mitt Romney has those views. Just think, your favorite candidate could be replaced with a Mitt Romney whose views are your own. We must figure out how to harness the multiverses of Mitt Romneys.

This brings up some interesting points. Perhaps Mitt Romney domestication is possible? Say a family takes in a Mitt Romney and feeds it a good diet of bland starchy foods and milk. Flour and water might work just as well.

You may be able to then proceed to force the Mitt to take on your desired positions. This would be the equivalent of breeding Mitts. In a controlled environment, you become the Mitt's political audience. You can then condition the Mitt into positions where he has to flip-flop, thereby creating another Mitt with a desired result. You can continue this lineage until you have replaced all undesirable positions with desirable ones. The only problem is keeping the Mittosis stable, as it would still continue to flip-flop by default on its own.

A Romney island and continent next?

Here's my choice: The Willard M. Romney Barrier Islands of Georgia.

[Adam Griffin]

The background is perfect. It looks like a purply temporal time void has opened up for the sole purpose of 2012 Mitt Romney debating 1994 Mitt Romney.

Someone foresaw this.