The Comedy Goldmine

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

It's funny because it's true?

[MATTROSE94]

Chris Christie will be the only one among his opponents running for office from a prison cell, so he's got that going for him.

[IceSpear]

Ugh when will Harry's selfish mother in law realize that her having affordable health insurance is preventing the proletariat from seizing the means of production.

[Mr. Morden]

On the 2016 GOP presidential candidates traveling to Las Vegas to try to win the backing of billionaire GOP donor Sheldon Adelson:

Christie is gonna nail the swimsuit competition.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU FARTBOY

... AND BARFBAG

poopman

coming soon to a forum near you

[they don't love you like i love you]

If Bushie's family's men's forte is 'out on the grill', and they don't have a grill, perhaps they should consider developing a forte that isn't 'out on the grill'.

[windjammer]

Options 1-4 for me.

Is morbidly obese.

Won't smoke weed because it's "unhealthy."

I read some old threads. Congrats Lief .

[MATTROSE94]

1976.  I saw a Carter sticker on a Ford, a Ford sticker on a Chevy, and a Dole sticker on a banana.

[Maxwell]

Reagan rebuilt America's armed forces whereby the U.S. was able to pursue a policy of peace through strength, reversing the weakening of the military during the Carter administration.

You are aware that the military build up was started by Jimmy Carter, right?

Carter was weak and vacillating in defense matters

E.g., he cut back on the navy's shipbuilding program, while the Soviets had strengthened their forces.

Even Democratic Senator Henry Jackson found Carter to be weak, ineffective, and confused in defense matters. 

Scoop Jackson found everyone short of Jack D. Ripper to be weak, ineffective, and confused in defense matters.

[Lief 🗽]

I just called Aaron and am waiting for her to call me back.  Apparently, though Aaron is spelled like a guy's name, that it is actually a lady.  I got a female voice.

I'm guessing what happened is that, when she was first born, her parents decided to name her Blondie for her blonde hair.  But then quickly changed their minds, and went with a more male name, like Aaron.  It was only a few weeks later, when they they took her in for a checkup, and the doctor looked down at her genitalia and informed them that she was female, that they suddenly felt foolish.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

75% of those named Hitler are registered Republican, while 75% of those named Gandhi or Jesus are registered Democrats.
Does that mean that Republicans are per definition three times more evil than Democrats? An interesting philosophical question.

[they don't love you like i love you]

Arguably the best poster the forum has had.

You say that now, because he was cancelled early in his posting career, sort of like Firefly.  But if that show had lasted for 7 seasons, the quality inevitably would have waned, and there'd be some filler posts that no one likes, etc.  He burned brightly while he was here, but it's because that star was extinguished in its youth that you regard it as the best.

It's the same reason why Barack Obama had to run for president in 2008.  The later seasons of Obama's Senate career wouldn't have been able to maintain the same quality, and he wouldn't then have been able to make the same transition to a feature film.

It's also sort of like this post.  I should have stopped after the first paragraph.  Then people would hold up this post as being rather funny, and it would probably make it into the Goldmine.  But then I got greedy, and renewed it for two more paragraphs, and now it's just awful.

[MATTROSE94]

Im hoping for Allen-Santorum ticket now that's a ticket for American progress! 

[Antonio the Sixth]

Just check out the #CancelColbert trend. Why is everyone on the far left such an obnoxious Sensitive Sally?

You're not on the far left?

Snowstalker's part of the People's Front of Judea, while Suey is the Judean People's Front.

[King]

Im hoping for Allen-Santorum ticket now that's a ticket for American progress! 

Kevin was a much better poster before he learned how to read and write.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Maybe because you're obsessing way too much about the South Park?

Because a forum on a site dedicated to national election results doesn't attract the obsessive type...

[tik 🪀✨]

Assuming by "touch" you mean "tangent", then one

Clearly there's one in the triangle.  I considered that there might be another circumscribing the whole, but I'm having trouble visualizing how that'd happen given how far the line segment sticks out on the sides.  I'm also assuming a Cartesian plane in Euclid space, etc.  If one draws a circle just the right size, it touches the line segment on the right, and the small circle at about 2 o'clock, and the big circle at about 11 o'clock.  Something like this:



That makes two circles, if it is correct.

If you now place two filled circles inside the two unfilled circles, you get this:



If you then draw a few line segments below the original line segment, attaching them at the ends to make vertices and fill in the resulting polygon, you will get this:



Now, if you add a couple of rectangles, a sliced oval, some color, some more line segments, a hypocycloid of four cusps, and some text, you will end up with this remarkable geometric design.



Fascinating.

[SPC]

Who in Oklahoma who is going to vote Republican didn't in 2012.

Yeah. I mean, you'd basically have to be one of those people who decide whom to vote for literally at the voting booth for that idea to hold any water whatsoever.

[Oakvale]

I laughed out loud at noted terrible poster DevotedDemocrat just empty quoting Snowstalker's sage bomb here -

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=189992.msg4109845#msg4109845

[Mr. Morden]

This thread is over the 2000 post mark, and thus it should be time for a new one (just like the "opinion of previous poster's signature" thread).  Anyone want to start the next Comedy Goldmine?

[Sol]

Still none, though technically 2 if you count any rare time I attend church (teeny amount of red wine) or a trip a few years back where I legally had a small cup of champagne around New Years (didn't taste that good), but I plan to continue to #SayNo even on and after November 4th, 2015.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I'm more a fan of Mexico Joe's

I've never eaten there. As a Texan, it makes no sense for me to drive north of the Red River to eat Mexican food prepared by Okies.