The Comedy Goldmine

[Paul Kemp]

Any particular reason you're adding an extra night and tank of gas?  Vegas is way out of your way!

He really wants to get a fresh start by getting rid of all his money.

[Bacon King]

I'm pretty sure the image is okay though, since the nipples are covered, right?

It was a close one, but it passed my standard.  (Then again... the board is currently in a state of anarchy... although I'd probably break my pledge if someone posted nudity.  That was a bit of an oversight on my part... and I think at least 99% of the forum would excuse my intervention for deleting porn.)

I fear you vastly overestimate your popularity, Inks.

I'll put that to the test!:



(and give Frodo a thrill!)

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Christie will eat all the people who are planning to vote against him

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

There are over 1800 rapes a day in the United States.
Krazen makes an average of 6 posts a day.
Therefore, every time krazen makes a post, 300 women are raped.

#stopkrazen

[Paul Kemp]

[Napoleon]

Why couldn't this happen to Snowstalker?

[morgieb]

Missing banned socks/trolls on an internet message board most definitely will not help you get girls.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

All kinds of folks drop by these days

I'll bet!

Not sure a 300 pound traveling christian would fit in that well though...

[RIP Robert H Bork]

[snip]

Freedom ballot.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I think this is the first time in my life that I literally laughed out loud at a political poll result.

and then read the poll result.

[Mopsus]

Probably was kidnapped by an illegal immigrant

[Antonio the Sixth]

This is the liberal state of Massachusetts, we deserve a real liberal senator from there. Lunch wouldn't be that senator.

Would Dinner be that senator then?  How about Breakfast?

[Napoleon]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=169621.0

[Joe Republic]

Do white people even know how to use Western Union?

[Paul Kemp]

Great quote, great gay band in a series of gay bands you've been showing us!

[Napoleon]

Muslims

I mean come on, they base all of their foreign policy decisions on what they're doing

[Lambsbread]

Do Seventh-Day Adventists have Ice Cream Saturdaes?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Why is Schwarzenegger so high?

[Napoleon]

Currently "it's complicated". Previously "single" for many years.

Did you finally find a female Neanderthal in the Black Forest?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Great to year your position has evolved to this.

His position hasn't evolved.  It was directly created by God in its present form.

It also didn't take a year.  Closer to six days.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Hilarious because of what Simfan did.

Long story short: Simfan's ban was unanimously approved by the moderation team not only due to his socks, but also due to the convoluted nature of his "plot" as well as his repeated refusal to come clean, before we knew the details, in exchange for leniency.

TheReporter was a Simfan sock we previously had incorrectly assumed to be a sock of Athiest2006. It turns out that Simfan created this persona to argue with himself and report dozens of his own posts. Fidelio was also a Simfan sock, created so that he could post a "Simfan v. DemRepDan" match-up and give himself an opportunity to vote a second time in a poll on the Individual Politics board. We had originally misidentified Fidelio as a sock of Mondale84, but then became very suspicious when Simfan claimed to have some sort of "phantom ban" that occurred right when the Fidelio account was banned.

As we were figuring this out and asking Simfan about it, he admitted his prior creation of TheReporter account but fervently denied any connection to Fidelio, although in the course of making these statements he was simultaneously handing over proof via IRC PM's and anonymous emails that Fidelio was indeed his sock. Over the course these discrete admissions of guilt he also made several grandiose claims, such as stating that Alexander Hamilton was his sock. He eventually offered enough evidence (in spite of his constant denials) for us to prove Fidelio was indeed his sock and that his other claims were nonsense. Upon Simfan's direct confession he was placed on mute pending Nym's ratification of moderator consensus.

No idea why he was inspired to play these sorts of games, but it was a nuisance to both the forum at large and the moderators in particular (Torie estimated that we spent ~40 man-hours on Simfan in this past week). While past precedent has indicated that extenuating circumstances can sometimes- rarely- keep a user from being banned after creating a sock, nothing of that sort was present here. He's created multiple sock accounts for ridiculous reasons and made no indication he would cease such habits in the future. Ultimately, that's why Simfan is no longer among us.

[Paul Kemp]

A wise man once said: "the emotional bond between two lovers is a much stronger one than between f**k buddies, and only matched by the bond between parent and child."

[Napoleon]

I, like Tweed, approve of this transparency.

That said I always approve of Simfan's brave act of civil disobedience and will light a candle in my window each night until he is released from custody.

[Maxwell]

Also, isn't it ridiculous how that whiny fag lover coon Obama always resorts to name calling instead of logical arguments in policy debate?

[Paul Kemp]

No, and my life depends on the "no" staying "no".  Especially given the Update thread.  My life could very well be endangered if they ever read the Update...