The Comedy Goldmine

[patrick1]

Muh confession:

I'm an exceptionally good liar, at least face to face.

Well, you're a gay, right?

[opebo]

There does not seem much interest in muting in the cave. I certainly am not going to take the time to do it. The jmfcst is pleasant enough during his vacation here. However, the matter is on Nym's desk. Or maybe Inks is just distracted at the moment.  Did I really say that? 

                                     TORIE
                         He is here...

                                     NYM
                         jmfcst! What makes you think
                         so?

                                     TORIE
                         A tremor in the Logic. The last time
                         I felt it was in the presence of the
                         old master.

                                     NYM
                         Surely he must have run out of IP’s by now.

                                     TORIE
                         Don't underestimate the power of Logic.

                                     NYM
                         the jmfcsts are extinct, their fire has
                         gone out of the universe. You, my
                         friend, are the only one still paranoid by them.

               [There is a quiet buzz in the Mod cave.]

                                     NYM
                         Yes.

                                     INTERCOM VOICE
                         Governor Nym, we have an emergency
                         alert on the US Discussion Board.
.

                                     NYM
                         Logic! Put all boards on
                         alert!

                                     TORIE
                         the jmfcst is here. Logic is with
                         him.

                                     NYM
                         If you're right, he must not be
                         allowed to post.

                                     TORIE
                         Muting him is not our plan. You must face
                         him alone.

[Goldwater]

I have no idea who those men are.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Actually, the best way to improve it would be if Bushie stopped posting in it, but that'll never happen.

[Antonio the Sixth]

The trouble with you people is that you're all so judgmental.

[Lambsbread]

My confession:  I once slapped a mosquito on my arm and killed it.  Then I felt really bad, so I buried it in the sand at the beach I was playing on, marked the grave, and pretended it was a holy tomb in the city I was building.

[Napoleon]

I easily have the thickest glasses at my school, so...

Me too!  I'm a sociopath.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Any more questions, or are we done?

Do you walk on two legs when in there?

[Zanas]

I live in an igloo and am employed as a lumberjack. I drink a gallon of maple syrup a day.

[opebo]

I listen to hardcore and wear hoodies all the time, but rarely with the hood up.

The part I underlined had me laughing.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

He's faking it to avoid testimony on Benghazi.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Nick Snyder for 8th grade president. Talk about reign of terror.

[Lief 🗽]

I'm pretty sure that somebody was behind this.

[Lambsbread]

Anderson Cooper just said to be on the lookout for a black man with an accent.

Lot of detail there, CNN...

All the black men with accents crossed the finish line two hours before the explosion happened.

[opebo]

I'm sure that there are plenty of underprivileged youngins in OKC that you can love on, Bushie.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

His contributions are just as tiresome and block-headed as Bushie's, but without even being entertaining.  Kind of like his activity in the Mod board, in fact.

I've worked harder than anybody else at tracking down and getting rid of socks.  It's a bit sad that you don't appreciate that.

[Lambsbread]

context:

"in-ter-mod-er-ate"

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It's shiny.  It's been use for money or to back money.  It even has some practical uses though very little is used for anything practical.  If you had bought it when GW Bush was inaugurated it's value would have tripled by the time Obama was inaugurated.  After Obama was inaugurated it's value even doubled again for awhile, but it's fallen from a high of $1900 to $1430 overseas this morning, including a drop of almost 10% since Thursday.  What's it all mean?  Does it even mean anything or is it all, as the kids say, hoakum?

J.J., why are you bothering with a sock?  You haven't been banned.

He's looking to start fresh with a record of 0 incorrect predictions.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

can anyone here not stand hipsters? Some of them might be nice but a lot of them seem like pretentious douchers. I'm sort of a BIll Maher/Tucker Max/Amazing Atheist type lefty (not saying the latter two are lefties but saying thats how I am) that generally likes to sniff out bs from either side.

[Goldwater]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Probably never.

[/quote]

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

clicks for contexts

[Zanas]

This would not have prevented Newton.

Gun control wouldn't have stopped him.  We would have needed fruit control to stop the apple from falling on his head.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I see the Atlas forum is flexing it's anti-atheist muscles again.

FF, obviously.  Society needs arrogant, douchebag atheists like him.  Without them, more normal ones like myself and my friends would still be despised and oppressed.  With people like him, we become tolerable, even respected by some of the religiouses.  

considering the subject, I have to read this as brilliantly sardonic

[Lambsbread]

I think people should be out and about.

Sorry, the terrorists won.

[minionofmidas]

That first picture is wonderful. Both fun while also somehow really foreboding. An elderly Bush wheels in slowly, eying his prey. When will he strike and show those bitches the meaning of patriotism?