The Comedy Goldmine

[Mr. Morden]

In response to Naso's take on the presidential campaign:

Can we get a list of every member of your family tree and their takes on the state of the race?

[Kaine for Senate '18]

I don't know about rape-induced pregnancies, but these types of comments from Republican politicians are most certainly a gift from God.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I support Clause 1 of Section 1 because I think it's important to have in writing that Enlgish is not the offical language of the Mideast.

(emphasis added)

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bro, we can't let Sarah Palin win! Forward(TM) with BrObama! Forward(TM) with Simpson-Bowles!  Most pwogwessive pwesident ever!!! Wants bros to marry each other!

Good Lord you're insufferable.

What's insufferable is the usual women-bashing and/or vapid memes being trotted out, the opportunity cost of which is discussing the austerity BrObama will inflict during his second imperial term. Had them figured out five years ago: Just as right-wing on punishing the poorest 99+% supposedly to balance a meaningless accounting identity (which isn't the intention anyway, just to redistribute wealth upward) but deriving their libewal/pwogwessive cred by assuming "culturally" transgressive affectations. Romney would be an all-too-obvious villain for handing Social Security to the banksters, droning civilians into red mist, normalizing/expanding/usurping executive power, retroactively legalizing foreclosure fraud, normalizing (8% nominal / 20% real DISemployment), and approving reckless resource extractions for his bankster bros to speculate on. Better to pick someone who can hide behind identity "politics." And they really hate ambitious women ...

If anyone has any doubt about Obie's second term policy objectives and/or cares about the implementation of austerity, all they need to do is google his Hamilton Project speech from 2006. The guy was handpicked to privatize* SS/Medicare under the pretext of "fiscal prudence" - and his bros [paper towel, Jon Stewart?] are completely in favor of all the imperialism and austerity.

* Privatize, not cut, because like Shrub's/Pinochet's/Ray-gun's approach, it's about "shock-and-awe" responses in the face of ["]crisis["] - "fiscal cliff" included.

Just the bolded, green part.  I didn't read the rest of it, just that he called Obama's 2nd term "imperial" had me cracking up. 

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Bro, we can't let Sarah Palin win! Forward(TM) with BrObama! Forward(TM) with Simpson-Bowles!  Most pwogwessive pwesident ever!!! Wants bros to marry each other!

Good Lord you're insufferable.

What's insufferable is the usual women-bashing and/or vapid memes being trotted out, the opportunity cost of which is discussing the austerity BrObama will inflict during his second imperial term. Had them figured out five years ago: Just as right-wing on punishing the poorest 99+% supposedly to balance a meaningless accounting identity (which isn't the intention anyway, just to redistribute wealth upward) but deriving their libewal/pwogwessive cred by assuming "culturally" transgressive affectations. Romney would be an all-too-obvious villain for handing Social Security to the banksters, droning civilians into red mist, normalizing/expanding/usurping executive power, retroactively legalizing foreclosure fraud, normalizing (8% nominal / 20% real DISemployment), and approving reckless resource extractions for his bankster bros to speculate on. Better to pick someone who can hide behind identity "politics." And they really hate ambitious women ...

If anyone has any doubt about Obie's second term policy objectives and/or cares about the implementation of austerity, all they need to do is google his Hamilton Project speech from 2006. The guy was handpicked to privatize* SS/Medicare under the pretext of "fiscal prudence" - and his bros [paper towel, Jon Stewart?] are completely in favor of all the imperialism and austerity.

* Privatize, not cut, because like Shrub's/Pinochet's/Ray-gun's approach, it's about "shock-and-awe" responses in the face of ["]crisis["] - "fiscal cliff" included.

Just the bolded, green part.  I didn't read the rest of it, just that he called Obama's 2nd term "imperial" had me cracking up. 

Guy is like a Bandit3 on steroids... I didn't think it was possible.

[Oakvale]

Comment on a Deluge post; click for context:

I don't think this guy actually knows what a bro is. Clearly he doesn't attend UMass.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

In the wee hours of the night, I sometimes wonder if it would be better to re-restrict the vote to white males....

I am both amused and a little disturbed.

[Modernity has failed us]

Context:

For some reason, I seem to agree with him almost all the time. FF.

[Modernity has failed us]

Scott, I've got a challenge for ye
When Omegle, everytime you see a weiner or someone asking to see your tits, take a shot. Tell us how long it is before you're absolutely wasted.

[Oakvale]

No



Somewhat inappropriately the user of this dog-vuvuzela is black, perhaps he is the two or three Black republicans left.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Nice come back.  Next time I'll type slower for you.

Yes please!  Ideally it should take at least a week or two for you to produce each of your posts.

[Marokai Backbeat]

NO IT'S NOT

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY

THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS

I really encourage everyone to read the Lief-J.J. back and forth. It was utterly hilarious to watch Lief's desperate pleas for J.J. to understand what he was talking about slowly deteriorate and really brightened my day.

[they don't love you like i love you]

NO IT'S NOT

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY

THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS

I really encourage everyone to read the Lief-J.J. back and forth. It was utterly hilarious to watch Lief's desperate pleas for J.J. to understand what he was talking about slowly deteriorate and really brightened my day.

So basically this is Mr. MENSA's argument: That day the total percentage of all voters who were Democrats who had already voted decreased. Therefore more Republicans must've voted on that day. The percentage is the only thing that matters.

So if you start out with 90 Democrats voting and 10 Republicans, and then the next day the numbers become 200 Democrats and 50 Republicans, that means more Republicans voted on that day. I can't figure that out, but I guess that just means my puny non-MENSA mind is just too stupid to comprehend it.

[Modernity has failed us]

Option 2 if I could vote.

Still on parole?  Hang in there.

[Modernity has failed us]

If your relying on g**gle news, 'your a day late and dollar short'.

A day late
a buck short
I'm writing
the report
On losing
and failing
when I move
I'm flailing now

My apologies

[Northeast Rep Snowball]

Nice

[opebo]

Not unlike the state-by-state battles in the Civil War, Ohio is very torn right now whether or not they believe the slaves should be free, or if Dixie must rise again. But they're slowly starting to come around to those of us living in 2012.

[Lief 🗽]

This post is art:

This is a new phenomenon that is being floated around by experts.

We all know what coatails are. For example, Obama coattails in Connecticut might propel Murphy to victory. Or Romney coattails in North Dakota might propel Berg to victory.

But how about mega coattails? The theory is that there is a such a huge margin in a state that it actually leaks over into neighboring states

For example, Romney is going to win Utah by so much that it harms Obama in Nevada and Colorado.

They say mega coattails from Illinois is what gave Obama Indiana in 2008.

Should Obama campaign in Salt Lake City? Obviously he won't win the state but if he can get the margin down in Utah, there will just be coattails in Utah and not mega coattails

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

LOL

LOL

LOL

I can see it now:

"Although Obama won a majority of voters within Colorado, Mitt Romney recieved so many votes in neighboring Utah that state officials were forced to stack these Republican returns into a literal mountain of ballots towering three miles high. This spire of election forms toppled due to an unexpectedly strong wind from the west, causing an estimated 80,000 ballots cross the state line into Colorado where they were recovered by that state's election officials; due to a little-known technicality in Federal law these votes are required to be counted as votes in the recieving state, so the AP hereby calls Colorado for Republican candidate Mitt Romney. In related news, the AP also calls Orrin Hatch as the unanimous victor in the race for Colorado's new Class I Senate seat.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I was just going to post this...

The last sentence is absolutely hilarious.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Darn, I need to fix the sign again...

0

Days since racist post

on Atlast 2012 forum

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

a) I doubt you meant that for me...

b) this was before the GOP lurched into a psychiatric ward and had a brilliant record on Civil Rights.

Okay, what their recent terrible record?

[Modernity has failed us]

LOL

[courts]

What is a Torie-like voter? Someone who thinks dehumanization is a fair trade for tax cut?

Well that definition might need some work. Thanks.

Seems accurate

Is that what voters sort of like me who voted for Obama last time, but not this time, think?  Interesting! I didn't "know" that about myself before.

Romney is much more handsome than McCain. And his running mate is a well-aged twink, not some dumb woman.

I know you like to think you're mysterious, but you're pretty easy to figure out.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Jesus! Leave! Leave now! It's too late for us but you can still save yourself!