The Comedy Goldmine

[they don't love you like i love you]

What do you know, SPC actually got a good one:

Can you imagine the havoc that would be wrought with Bushie at the helm?

Given his employment record, he probably would have been impeached after two months.

[Paul Kemp]

Am I the only one who was looking for another option other than Hillary in 2008, but am now supporting her for 2012.

You are certainly not alone.

So there are others who are now supporting her for an election which took place last year, when she wasn't on the ballot?

[opebo]

Will be going to see Warm Bodies this afternoon with a friend.

First it was vampires that women of all ages swooned over. Now it is zombies. Hopefully political nerds is soon to follow.

[Antonio the Sixth]

If this really bothered you would (and should) report us all.

This ^

Guys, don't give him that kind of ideas... he's capable of actually doing it.

Post deleted for Calling a white person black with 10 (out of 10) infraction points

[Grumpier Than Thou]

One of the best worst we've had

One of us was alive to prosper in the 80s, punk. 

And I'm alive today to suffer from the consequences of Reagonomics, old man

Yes yes, he tanked the German economy.     

[Paul Kemp]

From an alternate history I considered writing




American Conservative Union Party:A party from the pre-war era it was the party of government through the war. It heavily stressed a socially libertarian rightest view of politik. Outlawing abortion under the Ronald Reagan/Rev. Martin Luther King administration. Where it shows it's libertarian flair is in the states handling drug and marriage laws. Other famous figures in the party include Current President Ron Paul(ACU-PA) Congressmen Mike Pence(ACU-IN), Chris Daughtry(ACU-NC), Jack Kemp (ACU-NY) the Party of Jefferson, Madison, Coolidge, JFK, and Reagan Also the party of Evangelical, Pentacostal, and other conservative Christian sects as well as many minorities.

Libertarian Party:Also a pre-war party but has seen massive growth since the war. More socially liberal but very conservative regarding economic and foreign policy. Figures include Senator Gary Johnson (L-NM), Brian Schwicker (L-MT)

Republican Party:Blamed for the cause of the Liberty War it has shrunk considerably but still has considerable clout. Many Northeastern rightists still keep to the party of Lincolin. Most High Church Christians and Mormans tend with their moderate stances.Figures include Willard "Mitt Romney (R-MA), Richard Lugar (R-IN), Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

Progressive Party:The standard bearer of the center-left. After the Democrats dissolved in 1985 the Progressives have been trying to court the Republicans to merge with them and leave the right. They are trying to get abortion and gay marriage legalized throughout the country though with little success. Figures include Nancy Pelosi (P-CA), Rudy Guliani (P-NY), Michael Bloomburg (P-NY). The party of FDR and LBJ

Democratic Socialist Party:Further to the Left of the Progressives you have this party. The youngest of the major parties include many (around 25 percent of minorities) that believe in Socialism and liberal social policies. Bernie Sanders, Barney Frank, and Andre Carson lead this new wave of the radical left. The Occupy Movemnet leans heavily in their direction.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment

Actually, Hillary Clinton is a former Republican.

[Paul Kemp]

Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment

That's the least of the post's problems.

[Napoleon]

Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment

That's the least of the poster's problems.

[Donerail]

Hillary Clinton (R-IL)

There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment

That's the least of the poster's problems.

I think his followup on a major left-facist party is worse.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Gov. Tim McGraw (D-TN)/Rep. Jim Matheson (D-UT)
Gov. Will McKenna (R-WA)/the reanimated corpse of Delegate Norton P. Chipman (R-DC)

[Antonio the Sixth]

Because "better dead than red" was invented by South Park.

Because BRTD stands for "better dead than red".

Because the inversion thereof was that hard to devise.

So much eye rolling in this thread.

[Mr. Morden]

Plus, I helped out an honorable local charity.

Your $2.00 will go a long way in buying toilet paper for their local headquarters.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Just another ploy by NOBAMA, the most anti-Israel President in history.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Magic is capital controlled by the wizarding world. The "pure-blood" Slytherins represent the aristocracy who believe that "magic" (i.e. capital) should be in the hands of a privileged elite. The "clever" Ravenclaws represent the bourgeois intelligentsia. Hufflepuff are the petty-bourgeois, stupid and useless yet still oppressive.

All wizards treat Muggles (proletarians) as inferior beings and allow them to labour and suffer when, if they control of the means of production (magic), they could have much better lives. The Muggles are unaware of magic's existence, just like the proletariat are largely unaware of the existence of capitalism. The house-elves are skilled labourers lacking class-consciousness, believing that the system is kind to them. Dobby is like that guy in The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists, but he ultimately fails in igniting revolution.

Note that while some believe that it is acceptable for Muggle-borns to learn magic (i.e. become nouveau riche) and others disagree, all agree that magical people are inherently superior. The wizarding peoples do not learn to perform productive labour at Hogwarts, merely how to use the magic they were born with. Similarly, the bourgeoisie need only learn to manipulate money; the workers will produce it.

And so we come to our heroes. The Gryffindors wear red Quidditch robes and represent the Red Army. Dumbledore, with his voluminous white beard, stands for Karl Marx; Hagrid is Engels, his faithful servant; while Harry Potter's glasses and untidy black hair make him identical to Leon Trotsky. Harry's lightning-bolt scar is in reference to the fatal head wound inflicted on Trotsky by Ramón Mercader with an ice pick. The two Orders of the Phoenix represent the First and Second Internationals.

Voldemort represents the modern consumer. His commodity fetishism is symbolised by the Horcruxes, "valuable" objects into which he projects parts of his soul. Possessions give him identity; destroying them shatters it, making him realise that he has not developed as a human being.

Quidditch is a further allegory. The Chasers and Keeper represent the workers, who supply most of the game's work and are forced to compete with each other. The Beaters are the armies who, although they appear to fight each other, in reality oppress the workers. The Seeker is the capitalist: he wins the gold(en snitch) and renders the Chasers' labour virtually worthless.

Snape is Lenin. He kills Dumbledore in order to fulfill Dumbledore's plans, just as Lenin modified Marxist theory to fulfil Marx's broad goals.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Where in the freaking World Wide Web did Lewis drag that from?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Where in the freaking World Wide Web did Lewis drag that from?

I was wondering the exact same thing.

[Lief 🗽]

It would appear that Bushie has resigned himself to the predictable series finale: a fatal heart-attack at 35.

We have to wait 5  years?  Ugh.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

He thinks they do... basically, if anything Krazen writes actually makes sense, I'm going to walk in front of a truck.

This is your utopia, champ. High taxes and no guns for the people, monstrous unions, and rampant homosexuality.

That's what you people say you want for all of us.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

You mean "CT" isn't your last name?

[Grumpier Than Thou]

My prognostication skills were pretty poor in the years before I was born:

Muskie's got the Democratic nomination in the bag.

Nixon will probably leave office with some of the highest job approval numbers ever recorded.

No idea who this Carter is.  The Democratic nominee will probably be Bayh or Udall.

Carter's finished.  Ford's momentum is unstoppable.  I will now accept my accolades.

[Zanas]

Context.

(...)Are we in an alternate universe or something? (...)

[Napoleon]

18 year old grandma?

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Never will I use my name, first, middle, or last in my username or display name.

And yet, you share every detail of your life with total strangers on a politcal forum. Sounds about right.


And yes, mine includes my first name.

You mean "CT" isn't your last name?

Maiden name.

Maiden name minus two letters, you mean? 

No wonder he threw two letters away, everybody would.

Yeah, it's why I became a TX

To us you'll alwasy be a huge CT