The Comedy Goldmine

[Antonio the Sixth]

Funny and also very true.

Trying to win the Republican nomination while still staying electable for the general election has become a task that requires so many contortions that I'm surprised that a "Draft Nadia Comaneci" movement has yet to materialize.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I got Wood!

[tmthforu94]

The fact that we're even allowing new posters to register here at all is a travesty and a disgrace.

If only we'd stopped on December 9, 2006. 

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

This is your utopia, champ. High taxes and no guns for the people, monstrous unions, and rampant homosexuality.

It all makes sense now. Krazen is a closet case! He LOVES c$%k!

I have no doubt when he logs off here he pleasures himself with wicked fantasies about being double teamed by a burly bears. Forced to go down on a public service unionman, while being brutally buggered by a teacher. Tears of shame and joy intermingle as his shameful secret desires materialize in a fantasy world. Cleaning himself off, but felling oh SO dirty, he goes online to rail against those wicked, EVIL, BEGUILING unionized hard bodies!!!

It's really the only logical explanations for his posts.

[opebo]

Here's a good poll: Which is more emo: The Star Spangled Banner or Battle Hymn of the Republic?

[Alcon]

Unrelated question: Why are there so many gangs in the Senate?

Boredom, peer pressure, poor role models, etc.  Just the other day, Barbara Mikulski was caught carving her gang sign onto her desk.  It's just such a shame.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Unrelated question: Why are there so many gangs in the Senate?

A bunch of old fat men trying to relive the glory days of their youths?

[Paul Kemp]

Isn't it odd that Atlas Forum and Atlas Shrugged have the same first title?

Oh, wow.  Come to think of it, so do Unibomber and Univision.  We should call the FBI.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Goodman Dresses as Colonel Sanders- Calls Obama and Lincoln Chickens



"How about instead of entering a bogus alliance- these two grow a pair (only a metaphor for Senator Lincoln) and put their names forward in every state.... then let the voters decide. I will be competing for every American's vote- not picking and choosing which states I run in... Sounds to me like they're chicken...BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK...."

After making his statement- Mr. Goodman retired to his suite with a beautiful woman, believed to be a prostitute...

[Simfan34]

I'd post a picture of Lena Dunham in a hoodie now if one was out there.

[Napoleon]

Isn't it odd that Atlas Forum and Atlas Shrugged have the same first title?

Oh, wow.  Come to think of it, so do Unibomber and Univision.  We should call the FBI.

Angus' post was good, but I thought there was some(admittedly less thoughtful) good comedy in the original post. What the hell is a "first title"?

[Lief 🗽]

What if George W. had not pursued a career in politics and instead chose to go to art school and became famous for his nude self-portraits?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Write-in: J.J.  After all, a belief in one's own infallibility is a key requirement.

[SPC]

Unlike the mentioned two, I have admitted to being wrong on multiple occasions. The two here are quite similar to the store clerk in the Monty Python dead parrot sketch.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Maybe it's a psyop sock by Inks!

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Pope Fluttershy I

[Paul Kemp]

Sorry if I made bad some bad posts then. I don't want any problems.

Don't worry about it! You're fine.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

I actually once was involved with an Adventist stripper for a bit, that was a little interesting.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Pope John Paul George Ringo

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Energy Secretary Chu has been designated to be the 45th President of the United States should the unlikely occur this evening.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

With a name like Chu, he should be the Transportation Secretary.

Clickety-clack.  Clickety-clack.  Clickety-clack.  Clickety-clack.  CHU!  CHU!

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Subtle:

Good for you! I wasn't baptized until I was 12.

[tmthforu94]

Subtle:

Good for you! I wasn't baptized until I was 12.

Thank you.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

FF, I totally ship her with Alvin Greene so they can be the cutest couple in the senate!

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Who is more impervious to logic and reason?  Why the OP's mascot of course.