The Comedy Goldmine

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Context

One voter is a landlord.

[King]

My cousin who died from heroin addiction said that marijuana was a gateway drug (granted, he never used it, but as someone who was a drug addict, he should've known something about it.)

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

what do you think this is, the tragedy coalmine?

[King]

what do you think this is, the tragedy coalmine?

It's the funniest thing I've read in years.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I literally LOLed:

I'd love to read an academic journal article on Bushie written by this professor:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=7114

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

1994

'94 midterms show the slowing trust of moderate Republicans, and moderate Democrats. Congress is split in both houses of Congress. Nasa discovers a lightweight, and strong alternative to lead. Nasa also found a quicker way to get to, and from Mars. The Voyager program is rejuvinated, and also launched Voyager III to Uranus; by making a flyby of the Sun, and other planets, and by having the strongest engines, and the largest fuel tanks to make the possibly 12 to 15 year trip, only 6 to 7 years long. Richard Nixon dies three days after his heart attack in April; People like Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Bob, and Elizabeth Dole, President Quayle said that even though he didn't know him, Richard Nixon helped the Republican party
questions? corrections? comments? If not, I'm ready for 1995.

Best part in bold. NASA sends a ship TO THE SUN all because George H.W. Bush didn't run in 1988.

[© tweed]

reminds me of Ali G asking Buzz Aldrin "does you think man will ever walk on the Sun?"

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

1994

'94 midterms show the slowing trust of moderate Republicans, and moderate Democrats. Congress is split in both houses of Congress. Nasa discovers a lightweight, and strong alternative to lead. Nasa also found a quicker way to get to, and from Mars. The Voyager program is rejuvinated, and also launched Voyager III to Uranus; by making a flyby of the Sun, and other planets, and by having the strongest engines, and the largest fuel tanks to make the possibly 12 to 15 year trip, only 6 to 7 years long. Richard Nixon dies three days after his heart attack in April; People like Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Bob, and Elizabeth Dole, President Quayle said that even though he didn't know him, Richard Nixon helped the Republican party
questions? corrections? comments? If not, I'm ready for 1995.

Best part in bold. NASA sends a ship TO THE SUN all because George H.W. Bush didn't run in 1988.

Not to the sun, but a flyby, which isn't quite as absurd.  Gravity assist has been used several times already to accelerate spacecraft, including the first two Voyagers. However, gravity assist doesn't work with the sun.  Gravity assist is used to increase the velocity relative to the sun of a spacecraft via a transfer of momentum with the body that used to sling the spacecraft.  It only works if the body you slingshot around is not your frame of reference.

(Note, in theory one could do a powered slingshot around the sun as using thrusters when close to a body is the most efficient way of using them.  However, in order for the effect to be noticable, you'd need to get much closer to the sun than would be advisable.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Funny you put a $ in front of that because that's more than BOK's net worth.

[opebo]

Do I smell a new forum catch-phrase developing?:

I would have spanked him hard too

talk about low-hanging fruit...

Anyway love these early humorous references to other humorous posts in unrelated recent threads.

[Kitteh]

1994

'94 midterms show the slowing trust of moderate Republicans, and moderate Democrats. Congress is split in both houses of Congress. Nasa discovers a lightweight, and strong alternative to lead. Nasa also found a quicker way to get to, and from Mars. The Voyager program is rejuvinated, and also launched Voyager III to Uranus; by making a flyby of the Sun, and other planets, and by having the strongest engines, and the largest fuel tanks to make the possibly 12 to 15 year trip, only 6 to 7 years long. Richard Nixon dies three days after his heart attack in April; People like Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Bob, and Elizabeth Dole, President Quayle said that even though he didn't know him, Richard Nixon helped the Republican party
questions? corrections? comments? If not, I'm ready for 1995.

Best part in bold. NASA sends a ship TO THE SUN all because George H.W. Bush didn't run in 1988.

Not to the sun, but a flyby, which isn't quite as absurd.  Gravity assist has been used several times already to accelerate spacecraft, including the first two Voyagers. However, gravity assist doesn't work with the sun.  Gravity assist is used to increase the velocity relative to the sun of a spacecraft via a transfer of momentum with the body that used to sling the spacecraft.  It only works if the body you slingshot around is not your frame of reference.

(Note, in theory one could do a powered slingshot around the sun as using thrusters when close to a body is the most efficient way of using them.  However, in order for the effect to be noticable, you'd need to get much closer to the sun than would be advisable.

Also, note that such spaceship does a flyby of the sun on the way to Uranus.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

That's almost as bad as the "Poland invades Iraq because Hoover wins in 1932" guy.

[Joe Republic]

Also, note that such spaceship does a flyby of the sun on the way to Uranus.

What's so nuts about that?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Who?

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Also, note that such spaceship does a flyby of the sun on the way to Uranus.

So?  The Galileo probe did a flyby of Venus and two of Earth to get the speed needed to go to Jupiter.  Cassini did two Venus flybys, one Earth flyby, and a Jupiter flyby on its way to Saturn.  Going to an inner planet to gain speed to reach an outer planet is fairly normal.

[Paul Kemp]

Also, note that such spaceship does a flyby of the sun on the way to Uranus.

So?  The Galileo probe did a flyby of Venus and two of Earth to get the speed needed to go to Jupiter.  Cassini did two Venus flybys, one Earth flyby, and a Jupiter flyby on its way to Saturn.  Going to an inner planet to gain speed to reach an outer planet is fairly normal.

Someone just got served up...

[opebo]

Anyways, I propose to spend the money to stop teens from having sex with each other and to get them to have it with me instead.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Three, but only two if you count the fact that the government killed McCartney in 1966 and he was replaced by an IMITATOR.

[Paul Kemp]

So your BMI is 40.5... you're still dangerously obese.

That doesn't take into account his muscle though..

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Venezuela has some of the freest, best-run elections in the world (certainly better than those in the United States). But if it makes you feel better to put quotations around things, be my guest.

[Lief 🗽]

"As a matter of fact, of the 92 elections that we've monitored, I would say that the election process in Venezuela is the best in the world." - Jimmy Carter (link)

Don't be an idiot.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Jimmy Carter?  Come on.

[Lief 🗽]

... are you kidding me? Have you not heard of the Carter Center and its election monitoring programs?

[Kaine for Senate '18]

... are you kidding me? Have you not heard of the Carter Center and its election monitoring programs?

I've heard of the Jimmy Carter who constantly coddles up to terrorists.

[Napoleon]

... are you kidding me? Have you not heard of the Carter Center and its election monitoring programs?

I've heard of the Jimmy Carter who constantly coddles up to terrorists.