The Comedy Goldmine

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

What I've learned from this board: major players in the 2012 Presidential race include Arlen Specter and Fidel Castro.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

NO IT'S NOT

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY

THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS

I really encourage everyone to read the Lief-J.J. back and forth. It was utterly hilarious to watch Lief's desperate pleas for J.J. to understand what he was talking about slowly deteriorate and really brightened my day.

So basically this is Mr. MENSA's argument: That day the total percentage of all voters who were Democrats who had already voted decreased. Therefore more Republicans must've voted on that day. The percentage is the only thing that matters.

So if you start out with 90 Democrats voting and 10 Republicans, and then the next day the numbers become 200 Democrats and 50 Republicans, that means more Republicans voted on that day. I can't figure that out, but I guess that just means my puny non-MENSA mind is just too stupid to comprehend it.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

In which noted climatologist J.J. argues that Hurricane Sandy was just a run of the mill nor'easter:

What you are missing is that Bloomberg will help in South Florida, and likely with the suburban moderates in NOVA and Denver as well.

If he had made it about Israel, possibly, it would help in FL.  It was about global warming. 

Moderates in NOVA and Denver, only big environmentalists, and Obama has their vote already.

Educated suburban moderates almost universally accept climate change.  I'm surprised Obama hasn't campaigned on it at all in VA and CO.  It is an opportunity to make Romney look anti-science to people who might otherwise be R on fiscal issues.

And, if they are educated, they would realize that a nor'easter is not uncommon.

Being without power for 3 days from that common Noreaster caused me to miss the rest of Professor J.J.'s lecture on Advanced infantry tactics to retake a consulate compound. Do you think they have a recording of the lecture at the lab? I hear it was co-lectured with the modern day Hannibal, Professor Cliffy...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm recently noticing a lot of Thais - in fact almost every Thai - stroking glossy 'phones'.  What are these?  Should I get one? 

I have been informed that the monthly fee for a 'something gigabyte' (the Best) is only around $20 here.  Many people also recommend a Samhung.. what do you fellows think?

Do any of you have a Smartiephone?

opebo's deliberate mispellings never get old. My favorite is still when he was talking about "Facialbook" though.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

See that's another reason why opebo is the best poster.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Because Britain has spent almost 125 of the past 200 years (and counting) under the rule of women.

1979-1990 = rather less than 125 years.

Those years were so horrid that they count elevenfold.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get when a Speaker can't count?
A huge train wreck and loss of clout
All your enemies chortle with glee
While down goes the economy

I don't like the sound of it

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you were a leader, you could go far
You would live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I just came here to post that Mr. X post.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I found the first three most funny:

1. Bushie will lose his job.
2. Bushie will get another call center job.
3. Bushie will not lose weight.
4. There will be myriad threads about the trends of random counties.
5. The majority of "women" on here will continue to have penises.
6. People will be dissatisfied with the results of the Oscars.
7. Old people will be confused by simple technology.
8. North and South Korea won't care much for each other.
9. Jews and Arabs won't care much for each other.
10. Northern states and Southern states won't care much for each other.
11. The rich will get richer.
12. The poor will procreate.
Same as it ever was....

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

That guy who did that stupid Hoover in 1932 was probably born in the 2000s. Polo-Iriqui Federation!

What do you mean?  I probably would've voted for Hoover in 193 and I only have a  little over two weeks left as a teenager .

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It's not a presidential election forum almost 4 years in advance without some really stupid proposals.

LOL.

Too bad WalterMitty doesn't post much anymore.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The disadvantage, however, is that you are wearing a bow tie.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Maybe you could try earning a bit of money by selling sweets to children: you certainly look the part.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Actually I've gotten the vibe most people in the age range here think the Flintstones is from the 80s rather than 60s. Though the theme song is indeed a tip off.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.

It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.

I'm sure my 32-year old female co-worker who I frequently chat about with the show and share pony .gifs/photoshops through IM at work all day would disagree with that.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Context needed:

February 27, 2005, 02:02:35 pm

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well at least Simfan agrees with me that "opebo" should never be capitalized.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

BTW I don't see what's so funny about that quote Lief put in and Belgian said he started laughing at (it's just a statement of fact really), but I'm honored regardless.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I hoped this was 'Opinion of Oliver St John Gogarty'.

I should have known better.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

What do you know, SPC actually got a good one:

Can you imagine the havoc that would be wrought with Bushie at the helm?

Given his employment record, he probably would have been impeached after two months.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

This is your utopia, champ. High taxes and no guns for the people, monstrous unions, and rampant homosexuality.

It all makes sense now. Krazen is a closet case! He LOVES c$%k!

I have no doubt when he logs off here he pleasures himself with wicked fantasies about being double teamed by a burly bears. Forced to go down on a public service unionman, while being brutally buggered by a teacher. Tears of shame and joy intermingle as his shameful secret desires materialize in a fantasy world. Cleaning himself off, but felling oh SO dirty, he goes online to rail against those wicked, EVIL, BEGUILING unionized hard bodies!!!

It's really the only logical explanations for his posts.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Write-in: J.J.  After all, a belief in one's own infallibility is a key requirement.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

So which band that I have never heard of and probably never will is doing their best to have an oddball group photo to show in a conformist fashion that they are a bunch of non-conformists?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I think this is the first time in my life that I literally laughed out loud at a political poll result.

and then read the poll result.