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Quote from: Don Rafael Eduardo Cruz, El Hidalgo Menor de Texas on November 05, 2013, 01:59:17 AM

Quote from: badgate on November 05, 2013, 01:13:32 AM

Too bad 30 Rock isn't around to do an episode where the show has to sign up for Obamacare.

edited to add wow I really miss 30 Rock Sad

I want this to happen so bad. I'm going to pretend it's happening anyway...

Liz: So Jack, you get your Obamacare yet? *attempts to playfully punch Jack's shoulder*

Jack: Lemon, what have I told you about putting those meaty paws you have for hands on me? This is an office, not the squash court at the Harvard Club.

*Liz awkwardly puts her hands in her pockets*

Jack: And to answer your question, yes, Lemon. Even though it's unconstitutional, even though it goes against free market principles by forcing rich people to follow rules...I have purchased not just any insurance plan, but an insurance plan that is rated Platinum by Healthcare.gov. This plan is so exclusive, you can't even sign up for it without being invited to.

Liz: I thought the whole point of Obamacare was that everyone could sign up...wait, did you get the website to work? I thought no one could get it to work.

Jack: Lemon, I'm Jack Donaghy. I have the cell phone numbers of every CEO of every major health insurance company in America in my contacts list. You don't really expect me to engage in that sort of minutiae myself, do you? I mean that's what I pay Jonathan for...JONATHAN.

*Jonathan runs into Jack's office*

Jonathan: Yes Mr. Donaghy?

Jack: Where is Tracy? He was supposed to be in my office half an hour ago to discuss how his new health insurance was going to figure into the compensation package in his contract.

Jonathan: I'm afraid Mr. Jordan just called. He's going to be a little late. He's been arrested.

Jack: Good God, what happened?

Jonathan: He said he was arrested for a stop-and-frisk.

Liz: See, Jack? I told you those laws unfairly target black men.

*door flies open; Tracy enters the room; Grizz and Dot-Com follow behind*

Jack: Tracy, what is going on? And how did you get out of jail?

Tracy: I had Grizz and Dot-Com bail me out.

*cutaway to courtroom*

Judge: Tracy Jordan, your bail is hereby set at $5,000.

Tracy: Oh, so you think just 'cause I'm a black man you gotta lowball me like I can't afford bail money? Bitch, I got $10 Gs in my underwear!

Judge: Okay, your bail is hereby set at $20,000.

*end of cutaway*

Liz: Wait a minute, what did you get charged with? I thought you were just subjected to a stop-and-frisk.

Dot Com: He stopped a woman on the street and frisked her.

Tracy: She looked suspicious. Who knows what she was hiding under her coat?

Grizz: She was pregnant!

Tracy: We do not know that! It could have been a tiny little Chinese dude pretending to be a fetus so he wouldn't have to pay to ride the subway! You know how stingy those people are!

Jack: Well the point is you're here and we need to get this whole health insurance thing hammered away before contracts come up for renewal.

Tracy: Oh I got that covered Jackie D. Obama's going to mail everyone free iPhones and when you're sick, you just call and a doctor comes and visits you for free. *whispers conspiratorially* But it's only for black people.

Jack: ...who told you that?

Tracy: I'm more up to date on current events than you think. I read it in Newsweek.

*Dot Com holds up a copy of Newsmax Magazine*

Dot Com: Tracy, Newsmax and Newsweek are not the same thing.

Jack: Oh dear...don't worry, Tracy. From now on, I'm going to have all the TVs in the lobby set to CNBC all the time. It's like Fox News but for people who went to college.

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