The Comedy Goldmine

[Kitteh]

That remark about Richard Nixon, well that's appropriate considering they endorsed Barack Obama in '08, or I forgot it was cool for them to endorse Obama, but since you opened up that can of worms, yeah Nixon got nailed over Watergate, well then how do you explain Obama's behavior over Benghazi, the stone-walling that is occurring is truly epic on a Nixonesque scale; shouldn't have brought up Nixon, now it's time to draw comparisons between the lies that Obama is spinning over Benghazi, where his behavior needlessly cost the lives of 4 American; I don't recall Watergate "cost" any lives, and please don't bother making comparisons to Vietnam or Iraq, they were wars and there is going to be the sad but inevitable loss of lives; Benghazi was not a war zone, but became one, because of Obama's criminal inaction and the subsequent lying, reached truly Watergate proportions. 

That is one sentence.

[Kitteh]

That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.

yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now

And Colorado, Iowa, and Nevada. The North American Civil War of 2008-2012 was really a disaster for Jesusland.

[Kitteh]

That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.

yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now

And Colorado, Iowa, and Nevada. The North American Civil War of 2008-2012 was really a disaster for Jesusland.

You forgot Poland...and Florida.

Nah, Florida is part of the People's Republic of Cuba now.

[Kitteh]

Your picture reminds me that until the scandal, I thought DSK was a woman.

[Kitteh]

Context:

Don't worry Miles, I don't think she's a staunch liberal. I heard she loves Bush.

[Kitteh]

You forgot to include a category for opebo: "Buy-sexual".

[Kitteh]

I don't know if Germany has a political satire show like Private Eye or SNL

It's called the SPD.

[Kitteh]

SJoyce is on a role here:

He could talk about the Native Americans could self-deport.

(context)

[Kitteh]

Bugger their baby sisters, just like they always have done. It gets dark and lonesome in those mountain valleys.

[Kitteh]

Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.

It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.

I'm sure my 32-year old female co-worker who I frequently chat about with the show and share pony .gifs/photoshops through IM at work all day would disagree with that.

There's only one possible answer to such kind of post:

Shut up.

[Kitteh]

I'm sure he would have voted Republican in the 1991 Louisiana gubernatorial election so he could vote against the racist Democrats.

[Kitteh]

Sex when you're in love is the best thing. I couldn't imagine anyone not liking it or holding their same asexual views once they experience such a thing.

Well I doubt Nathan would express love through sex and knowing opebo, the only way for him to express love through sex is to masturbate. But generally I agree.

Bolded the great part.

[Kitteh]

Context:

No self pics, o.

[Kitteh]

1994

'94 midterms show the slowing trust of moderate Republicans, and moderate Democrats. Congress is split in both houses of Congress. Nasa discovers a lightweight, and strong alternative to lead. Nasa also found a quicker way to get to, and from Mars. The Voyager program is rejuvinated, and also launched Voyager III to Uranus; by making a flyby of the Sun, and other planets, and by having the strongest engines, and the largest fuel tanks to make the possibly 12 to 15 year trip, only 6 to 7 years long. Richard Nixon dies three days after his heart attack in April; People like Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Bob, and Elizabeth Dole, President Quayle said that even though he didn't know him, Richard Nixon helped the Republican party
questions? corrections? comments? If not, I'm ready for 1995.

Best part in bold. NASA sends a ship TO THE SUN all because George H.W. Bush didn't run in 1988.

Not to the sun, but a flyby, which isn't quite as absurd.  Gravity assist has been used several times already to accelerate spacecraft, including the first two Voyagers. However, gravity assist doesn't work with the sun.  Gravity assist is used to increase the velocity relative to the sun of a spacecraft via a transfer of momentum with the body that used to sling the spacecraft.  It only works if the body you slingshot around is not your frame of reference.

(Note, in theory one could do a powered slingshot around the sun as using thrusters when close to a body is the most efficient way of using them.  However, in order for the effect to be noticable, you'd need to get much closer to the sun than would be advisable.

Also, note that such spaceship does a flyby of the sun on the way to Uranus.

[Kitteh]

What are his positions on women ?

Generally against.

Came here to post that.

That's not really funny.  Funny would have been to answer "missionary".

We get a lot of "posting straight into the deluge", but not much "posting straight into the goldmine". Kudos.

Anyway,

I'm not racist, but...

These four words never precede something that actually indicates that you're not racist. I suppose some of your best friends are black?

Yes, and I talking to a girl who is black.

[Kitteh]

Sorry Goldwater,

[Kitteh]

I believe that Memphis died for our sins:

[Kitteh]

I lol'd at Heisenberg (?)

Easy(er):

President of the USA -  Jimmy Carter
Vice President of the USA -  Walter Mondale
Monarch of the UK and other realms of the Commonwealth -  Queen Liz 2
Prime Minister of the UK - Maggie
President or Premier of Russia or the Soviet Union -  Brezhnev
President of France - Mitterand
Pope of the Catholic Church -  Pope JP2

Somewhat more difficult:

Speaker of the US House of Representatives -  Tip O'Neil
Majority Leader of the US Senate -  Ted Kennedy
Prime Minister of Canada - Rush
Prime Minister of Australia -  Captain Kangaroo

Considerably trickier:

Governor of Massachusetts - Henry Adams VIII
Governor of Illinois - Al Capone
UK Chancellor of the Exchequer - Maastricht
UK Leader of the Opposition - Al
Most recent Best Picture Oscar winner - Little Man Tate
Most recent Nobel Peace Prize laureate - Jimmy Carter

Very tough:

Senior U.S. Senator of Tennessee - Howard Baker
Junior U.S. Senator of Vermont - Jim Jeffords
Leader of the Scottish National Party - Flintheart Glomgold
Most recent Best Supporting Actor Oscar winner - Rob Lowe
Most recent Nobel laureate in Physics - Heisenberg(?)

[Kitteh]

Favorite: Bottom
Least: Top

[Kitteh]

There's something just quite so utterly and entirely perfect about a libertarian only being able to grow a neckbeard-and-Hitler-'tache combo.

[Kitteh]

That whole post is pretty f'ing hilarious:

I went to the drink fountain with the intention of getting a diet drink, but I accidentally hit the Dr Pepper lever.  I didn't realize it until the cup was full.  Also, the fries only brought it up from 350 to 730 calories according to the McDonald's menu.  So, the regular Dr. Pepper brought it up to probably 1,050-1,100 calories.  That's not THAT bad, especially when I've only had 450 calories up until dinner.

[Kitteh]

context (full thing too long to put here):

okay but what does this have to do with defense policy. what does any of this have to do with anything. why did I waste twenty minutes typing this all?

[Kitteh]

Winnie the Pooh is a honey-addict. We never saw the drug deals going down in the Hundred Acre Wood, but Tigger, or TI-Double G- Er was the top dealer and Pooh bear was his main customer.

No, because you couldn't put that in a kids' series.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIncG-hyQBM

*to be fair adventure time isn't really a "kids' series", but it is in theory at least

*also here, since I'm 99.9999999% sure oldies has no idea what DMT is

[Kitteh]

(context optional)

There's a spectrum Atlas Forum is at the upper end of, but I don't think it's intelligence.

[Kitteh]

Vapid idiot

This, but in addition, a degenerate attention seeker. A rather unfortunate example of the consequences of drug use.