Westman, Part II: The Rising
       |           

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
March 28, 2024, 02:28:23 PM
News: Election Simulator 2.0 Released. Senate/Gubernatorial maps, proportional electoral votes, and more - Read more

  Talk Elections
  General Discussion
  History
  Alternative History (Moderator: Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee)
  Westman, Part II: The Rising
« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10
Author Topic: Westman, Part II: The Rising  (Read 28821 times)
FEMA Camp Administrator
Cathcon
Atlas Star
*****
Posts: 27,284
United States


Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #125 on: August 12, 2013, 11:27:08 AM »

Tom Riddle? Awesome! Cheesy
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #126 on: August 26, 2013, 08:39:38 PM »

Office of Senator Westman
June 20th, 1979:


Taking yet another drink from his trusty bottle of Johnny Walker, Westman was pondering over his speech.
Herschelwitz: Good god, how do you drink like that?
Westman makes a churning noise.
Westman: Osmosis.  Eventually you drink enough, it becomes you.
Herschelwitz: Dude, you are such an alcoholic.  Get help.
Westman: Here's an idea: how about you go f*** yourself?
Herschelwitz: I'm not an acrobat Scott.
Westman: You mean an Olympic Gymnast?
Herschelwitz: I also don't drink liqour straight out of the bottle.
Westman: Does it really matter if I drink hard liqour or not, you annoying cocksucker?
Herschelwitz laughs.
Herschelwitz: Real rich coming from you.  Really rich.
Westman sighed.
Westman: Just stop interrupting my train of thought.  I'm going strong here.
Herschelwitz: Your train of thought is clearly going through City Hall!
Westman: Come on this is the only way I can think!
Herschelwitz: My lord, you really are damaged.
Westman stops for a second.
Herschelwitz: You know, I don't mean to sound nosy or anything but ever since you became involved you Calpernia-
Westman: Jesus Carl, I don't want to hear this sh*t.
Herschelwitz: Look it has nothing to do with her physical condition-
Westman: Shut the f*** up!  "Physical condition"-
Herschelwitz: It has everything to do with her being an enabler.
Westman: Why are you using such faggy speech now Carl?  I thought you were my chief advisor, not my psychologist.
Herschelwitz: Well I'm just saying, she drinks more than a small German village.  Granted, a small German village, but still!  And she smells like 100% unfiltered Red Kamel!
Westman: So?  She likes to smoke and drink?  Who doesn't?
Herschelwitz: You two are like a flaming run away train going through an oil tanker.  That's what I'm saying  She'll kill you man, she'll kill you.  She's already got you hooked on alcohol like a.. . . .  . well like an addict!
Westman finishes what was left of his bottle, and glares at Carl.
Westman: Why do I put up with your sh*t?  I should fire you. . . . . why I haven't is a complete mystery to me.
Herschelwitz: Because I'm your sane half.
Westman: No thanks Carl, I'm really not into dudes.  I know in this day and age it's hard to find someone, but there are plenty of fruit bars available.
Carl laughs.
Herschelwitz: Oh f*** you man!  I've been with plenty of women!
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh really?
Herschelwitz: Maybe not as many as you, but none of them had a Mazaratti in their front yard!
Westman: You said before this wasn't to do with physical conditions and now you're bringing up her machinery.  Consistency much?
Herschelwitz: Oh no, I have no problem with Calpernia having an Italian, what I find hilarious is you throwing these insinuations at me.  You of all people Scott!  Do you seriously hear yourself sometimes!
Westman: If you quit whining like a sissy little twink maybe I wouldn't think you were a fan of Kansas City!
Carl looks at him derisively.
Herschelwitz: That doens't make any sense!
Westman: Yes it does!
Herschelwitz: No it does not!
Westman: Yes it does!  You're a Queen!
Herschelwitz: No it doesn't you f***ing idiot!  the Major League Baseball Team based out of Kansas City are the Kings!  Not the Queens, you dumbsh*t!
Westman: Fine whatever, don't be such a fairy about it.
Herschelwitz: You are like a walking flaming wall of dumbass hypocrisy.  Absolutely incredible.
Westman: Look man, if I were gay you would have a point.  However I'm not.  Not even close to it.  So you made no point whatsoever with your scriel, and probably don't even know what hypocrisy actually means.  It means doing something that you supposedly don't do.
Carl starts to chuckle so hard he stifles a cry.
Herschelwitz: F*** this!  I'm going to the coffeehouse.
Herschelwitz walks out of the room.
Westman: Good riddance.
Westman looks at his speech:

The accusations and slander of the Senator from Connecticut are unfounded.  It is absolutely ludicrous that he would ascribe such sentiment to me.  I would say his wife thinks differently, but I don't do old broads.  That is gross and disgusting.  I do not sleep with old women, that is something that Thomas Dodd does.  Why?  Because he's an old crusty fart who has long outlived any usefulness to his state or his country.  World War II was never popular, neither was the Holocaust.  They are both overrated things to make people like Thomas Dodd feel special.  Sure, killing Jews is wrong. . . .  no doubt about that.  Killing anybody is wrong.  Of course Doddy, we all agree.  However, does that necessitate Jews acting like whiny little whores whenever a community gets hit by ghetto rockets?  OR using the blanket "racist" card against anybody who doesn't support throwing hundreds of billions of dollars towards a Jewish state that nobody recognizes?  Go back to eating your Kosher Hot dogs and stop being self righteous assholes, you greedy monied Wall Street harlots.

Westman: Could use a little bit more I guess.  Lord I'm horny.  Time to dial a page.
Westman picks up the phone and dials a White House extension.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #127 on: August 26, 2013, 08:57:43 PM »

The White House
First Lady's Office:


First Lady Norma Jeane Reagan is busy getting ready for a press conference about famine relief for Africa when the phone starts ringing.  A former model who had a modest amount of success in the late 1950's and early 1960's, she soon gave that up when she married popular actor Ronald Wilson Reagan, who would soon leave his own career as an actor to get involved in politics.  A staunch New Dealer and union supporter who strongly opposed the spending cuts of the Percy administration, Reagan began his political career by running for the US Senate in 1962.  THe actor would win the race by a slim margin over embattled Republican Thomas Kuchel, who couldn't rally conservative voters to support his bid against the popular actor.
It was at a dinner function when the two divorcees would meet in 1964.  Just a year later they would be married and become one of Washington's 'power couples".  Making a name for herself for her good looks as well as her activism on behalf of non-profit poverty organizations, Norma Jeane would become one of Washington's top socialites almost overnight.  For practically all of her husband's political career, her approval rating has been higher than his.
THough, and nobody tell the Gipper this, that's not hard to do.
She picks up the phone.
First Lady: Hello?
Westman: You sound like a smoky fox, did you have a few more cigarettes than usual baby?
First Lady: Who is this?
Westman: How about you just come over to my office and sit on my lap while I tell you a story about the good old days.
Norma laughs.
First Lady: Ted, you got to really cut back on the drinking.  You don't want me to tell your mother on you again, do you?
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh sh*t!!  I think I dialed the wrong number!
First Lady: Damn right you did you sick pervert!  Didn't anyone teach you it's impolite to say nasty things over the phone?
Westman ponders for a second.
Westman: Well. . . . . what about in person.
The First Lady groans.
First Lady: Just when I have hope for the male gender, someone like you ruins it completely.  Swear to The Lord Teddy, your mother would be very disappointed in you.
Westman: I could give a sh*t what my mother thinks!  And I'm not "Teddy" you wrinkled leather jacket!"
Phone slams on the other end.
The First Lady laughs before lighting up a smoke.
First Lady: Well, it seems like the Senator from Montana is up early today.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #128 on: August 26, 2013, 09:15:46 PM »

The Senate Chambers:

Max Baucus is at the podium.
Baucus: I know some of this shocks some of you, but to me and thousands of other Montanans this is not news.  For years we've known and tried to warn a great many people of the radicalism and bigotry of my long haired colleague.  Instead we got ignored and supporters of the Great Miscreant have painted us as moral crusaders.  Or as the charming Senator would call us: "Moral f****ts".  Yes what charming language the Senator uses.  Many would paint him as a crusader for liberalism and civil liberties when in reality Scott Westman made his name early on as a crusader for racist causes.  It was Scott Westman who after all, came to prominence at his university, the University of Montana, by penning a shockingly closedminded and bigoted screel against Affirmative Action, going as far as to imply that blacks, hispanics, and other minorities were "free loaders" and were taking advantage of the system at the expense of qualified whites.  It was Scott Westman who argued that a Voting Rights Amendment to guarantee minority representation was "an excuse for tyranny of the minority".  These are but a treasure trove of the hidden agenda of Scott Westman, whom the media just loves to paint as some carefree wheelin and dealing fighter for freedom.  The truth is that Scott Westman loves freedom. . . . . for whites only.
Loud jeering is heard from the galleys.
Baucus: Oh but yes, here they are!  UP there, the Senator's little dope addicted high schoolers!
From the Galley: I'm a Graduate student in Medicine you dried up dick!
Bentsen: Security!  Remove that man!
Guards come out and start beating up the loud interloper before dragging his lifeless unconscious body outside the chamber.
Baucus: Oh yes, the Senator is an expert at creating his own persona to suit his political pursuits!  JUst like he was adept at convincing thousands of over entitled kids living off of their parents money to go with him on a "crusade" against authority and morality.  Sure, he claimed to be anti-war. . .  . but so did many others who enjoyed beating up policemen.  After all, Adolf Hitler didn't come out yelling I HATE JEWS I HATE JEWS!  He came out promising a grand vision of the future and an encapsulating political ideology that appealed to millions of people against establishment interests.  Just like Westman.
As if on cue, the rest of the pro-Westman crowd wave throw their right arms into the air and hold out their hands like arrows.
Crowd: Seig Heil F***face!
Baucus: Alright I had enough of this!  Security!  Beat them till they can't walk no more!
Policeman: Dudes you had your fun.  Just go now.  We all know he's an asshole, but just deal with it.  He'll be out of office soon anyway.
A long haired man with glasses comes forward and pats the policeman on the arm.
Hippie: Right on dude!
The Crowd walks out.
Baucus: Anyway as I was saying, I don't think the American public or the US Senate or any body worth it's salt should be so welcoming of the radical views of Scott Westman and his coalition of the malcontents.  It is quite telling that out of his entire career his one major political victory thus far has been playing on the bigotry of many in our hallowed halls.  Scott Westman was nothing before the help of the George Wallaces, Jesse Helmses, or the Francis O'Hallahans.
Which is why we have come out today to oppose the measure of the so-called "pragmatic" Republican Party leadership and their DINO lapdog Westman.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #129 on: August 26, 2013, 09:32:03 PM »

Senate Chambers:

Coming off the podium to a tepid applause, Baucus shakes hands with Senator Thomas Dodd of Connecticut, who takes the stand.
Dodd: I know many of you don't see eye to eye with the bombastic Senator from Montana, referring to Max of course, but he does make great points.  THe agenda of Westman and many Republicans are quite apparent.  Tell me, is it any wonder that the Republican Party has so many overt supporters of the Palestine Apartheid regime?  How year after year a strong majority, at least 80%, of Republicans continually vote against aid to Jewish refugees in the Gaza?
Republicans like to brag about being the party of Civil Rights and of opportunity when in a shockingly huge amount of cases they have come against freedom for millions around the world and have openly embraced racist and nativist forces in this nation.  They like to tell you that they oppose necessary military intervention because they care about our budget and are tired of seeing American boys killed.  They claim to be on the morally right side of the argument.  Yet as we have seen as Republicans, and wrongminded Democrats like Westman, have continually supported the actions of cruel evil unhumanitarian regimes.  As for the budget, what kind of man thinks that there should be a budget on human life?  Why should the value of a human life be diminished because we are too conscious of a budget problem that is only a reality in the minds of Republicans and Democrats stuck in 1892?
And as for the whole "party of freedom and liberty since 1854" mantra?  Don't make me laugh.  The Republican Party has never stood for freedom as much as it has for opportunism.  The same party that bragged about supporting Civil Rights was also the same party that forced a generation of German and Irish American males into armed servitude.  The same party that bragged about equality for blacks was the same party that called for strict immigration quotas to keep America racially pure for the Anglo-Saxon elites.  The same party that presented itself as a beacon for gender equality was the same party that openly discriminated against cultures that celebrated the joys of beer.  With the development of the party today with rich aloof pretentious elites running the show, it should be more evident now than ever which way the Republican wind really blows.
Loud jeers from one side of the aisle.
Dodd: So I give the American people a challenge: Confront the Republicans!  Take this time to finally make them pay for their century and running of moral hypocrisy and opportunistic grandstanding!  Vote against the UnAmerican "Limited Armament" Bill of Mark Hatfield and vote for a strong nation once again!  A nation that supports liberty and freedom not just for Americans, but for people around the world!  Vote for Americanism!
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #130 on: August 26, 2013, 09:47:07 PM »

Senate Chambers

Hatfield:
That son of a bitch!  How dare he!
Just as Hatfield was about to raise to say something he would regret, he felt a hand on his shoulder as a familiar drunken voice spoke up.
Westman: Relax. . . . . boy.  The grown up is here.
Westman walked over to the podium, putting his hands on the end of it and smiling at Dodd.
Westman: Hi.
Dodd: Scott, please don't embarrass yourself any further.  You've done enough damage to your cause already.
Westman: You know it's funny, I don't see you getting laid.  So who is really losing the cause?
Dodd: You're impossible.  Fine, take the podium and see your plans go down in flames.  You won't win sh*t in this state of mind.  You won't win sh*t, you inebriated son of a bitch!
Westman gets up on the podium as Dodd walks back to his seat.
Westman suddenly straightens up, as a moment of clarity overcomes him in his grand drunken state.
Westman: There has been much said about me today.  Some of it is pretty serious.  Some of it is false, some of it may be true.  I don't intend to get up here and pretend perfection to you.  I might indeed be a racist.  And a bigot.  I'm not disputing that.
Westman looks at the crowd, which has turned stone quiet.
Westman: There are some of you who came here expecting an impassioned curse filled tirade from me.  Truth is, I expected that myself just an hour ago.  However, over the course of that hour I realized that I have something these men don't.  I have peace, and serenity.
Applause is heard from the galley as Westman looks down at the podium and closes his eyes for a second, taking in the moment.
Westman: And right now all I want is for all of this fighting to stop.  I want young men to stop dying for no reason.  I want their lives to mean more than upholding corrupt regimes that are little better than their opponents.  I want American hands to be unwashed of the blood of innocent bystanders.
More applause.
A tear comes to his eye.
Westman: And these men, these men are wrong when they ascribe this to selfishness.  Let me tell you why I take the views I take.  I take them not for me, or for the American people, but for her.
Westman takes out a picture of his daughter from his wallet.
Westman: I want this beautiful girl, whom I love more than anything in this world, to live in a world where things like war and violence are the only ways to achieve stability.  Where the power of the human heart overcomes the might of the human hand.  I won't come down here and badmouth my opponents and call them greedy fascists, however, I will come down here and proclaim that my love for this girl, Brea Westman, is what drives my sense of right and wrong.  So how dare you, gentlemen, ever suggest that I'm doing this for me.  I'm the last damn person I'm doing this for, she's the only person I'm doing this for.  And I'd rather die tomorrow and have her know me as a man who stood up and tried to change this world we live in for the better than have to live forever with the disgrace of being one who went with the status quo.  That's it, I'm finished.
Westman gets off the podium and walks right out of the chambers with tears coming out of his eyes.  After he left the room the sound of loud applause could be heard.
It was one of the most iconic speeches in US Senate history.  And he was plastered.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #131 on: August 31, 2013, 08:14:50 PM »

October 10th, 1987
Governor's Mansion
About 3:30AM:


Scott Westman is fast asleep in bed with a beautiful naked woman asleep next to him while having another dream about a completely different beautiful naked woman.  IN his dream he is relaxing on a beach with the woman who we will not mention to protect her own reputation while doing a line of coke.  Westman has just gotten a most incredibly not at all real high and was getting busy when suddenly he heard from the Heavens a most unwelcome sound.  A most unwelcome noise actually.
His bedside telephone.
Westman: F***, I thought I told Laura never to give me a call up-
It was then that he noticed that it was way before he usually woke up.
Lena stirs up next to him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him on the neck.
Lena: Busy man.  Must be important if they are calling you this early.
Westman huffed.
Westman: Nothing is important enough to wake me up at three f***ing thirty love.  Anyone who knows me for about five minutes knows that's my love time.  Don't wake me up then, cos I'm recovering from the bonking.
Lena: So. . . . . . . nobody ever wakes you up then?  Not even now days?
Westman facepalms before picking up the phone quickly to get out of the tricky situation he suddenly found himself in.
Westman: This is Scott.  Sorry about taking so long to answer, my dear asshole, but it's 3:fInksing32 in the morn.  I hope you can understand and quite sincerely f*** you very much for calling me this early.
Baucus: Should've figured such a hostile response from you this early, Governor.
Sh*t, not this motherf***er.
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh hey Maxwell!  Enjoying your early retirement?
Baucus: Enjoying it just great Governor.  I've been making millions as a trial lawyer prosecuting drunk druggies like yourself.
Westman: Oh that's great Maxwell!  I always knew you had great dipsh*t talent in you!  Maybe in a few years you can try your hand at stealing social security benefits from old ladies!
Baucus: Okay, enough dicking around.  Surely you want to know why I'm calling you at this time of the day.
Westman chuckles before laying back on the bed and wrapping an arm around the sleepy doped out Lena D'Israeli.
Westman: Well man, I'm sorry but you're a little late Maxwell.  Booty call time was about, sh*t when was it Lena?  Four hours ago?  Besides, I'm not into dudes.
Baucus: Bullsh*t.
Westman: Okay. . . . . if you've undergone some significant plastic surgery and wear expensive dresses now and have longer hair maybe I could work something in, Maxine.  Though from the sound of your voice, it doesn't sound like you've given it much of a try.
Baucus: Listen you perverted doped out old hippie fucker!  I'm comin after you!
Westman laughs.
Westman: Max, we all saw how well you did in a primary three years ago when you were an incumbent Senator and I was known as the dude who lost to a fInksking third partier.  Granted it was a blizzard that helped him in a runoff election, but I still got my ass whipped by him.  And then a year and a half later, while being known as a libertine radical who married a woman just to sleep with her, I kicked your ass.  I mean just look at the map results back then man, they were embarrassing!
Baucus: Well that was different, the national media was getting all up in the election and trying to sell you as pretty boy genius!
Westman: Your revisionism is hilarious also.  I mean, you're an idiot Max.  You threw away a safe Senate career so you could beat me for the Gubernatorial nomination.  I don't care how much favoritism and sex I got while running, you made your own bed by chunking a good staple political office to try to upset me in the primary!  And now, me and my woman are going to go back to sleep, alright?  YOU CAN'T BEAT ME MAX.
Westman thought that would set Baucus off, until he heard some evil laughter on the other end.
The phone on the other end is put down.
Westman: F***ing asshole!  Calling me this time of the day just to tell me that he is going to make a joke clown run against me?!  Fuck him!
Westman went back to getting busy.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #132 on: August 31, 2013, 08:26:07 PM »

October 10th, 1987
Governor's Mansion
About 10:45 AM:


Westman wakes up and goes downstairs to get his newspaper.  He walks in to the kitchen and sees Lena eating some cereal.  He walks over to her and gives her a kiss on the lips.
Westman: Hey baby, how would you like to make a promotion from unemployed Second Lady to First Lady?
Lena laughs in his face.
Lena: Lord no Scott.  I'm not ready for that kind of commitmen-
Westman: Look, we don't have to be married.  I just come out and tell everyone that we've been banging and as such, since you are now my official girlfriend you are now the First Lady.
Lena: Well the pay would be nice I guess.  As would the living arrangements.
Westman laughs.
Westman: Well, I pay for your living anyway Lena.
She laughs.
Lena: What'd you tell Caroline you spent that money on anyway?  Clothing?
Westman: No, stock options.  You know I make millions off that sh**t, so it wouldn't surprise her if I said that.  So how about it?
Lena crawls onto Westman's lap and then starts french kissing him for a good solid minute and a half.
Lena: I'm your girl.
Westman signals for her to get off of him and then grabs her hand, headed for the front door.
Lena: Wait. . . . you don't mean-
Westman: Urgent matter of state my dear, I must present a decisive face to the press!
Westman and Lena D'Israeli walk out the front porch in their flannel robes and pajamas to face a flock of press reporters.  Before anyone can say anything Westman speaks up.
Westman: YES!  WE'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER!  LAST NIGHT SHE CAME INTO THIS HOUSE AND GAVE PAPA GOVNA SOME SWEET SUGAH.  AS A RESULT, SHE'S OFFICIALLY REPLACING THAT WHORE AS FIR-
Reporter: Funny jokes Governor, but may we ask what your opinion is of Max Baucus's most recent announcement?
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh you mean that he's running for Governor in '88?  Against me?  Yeah haha, what a joke!
Reporter: Oh so you do know!  My, news seems to be getting to this mansion a lot sooner now days.
Westman: Yeah well, I have my ways of finding things out.
Reporter: So I imagine that you weren't really shocked to find out that he was running in the Republican Primary?
Westman: OH not at all man.  He would do something like run in the Republican Primary?  Huh, what?
The Reporter looks at the stunned as hell Governor.
Reporter: Yeah, it's been making major waves around town since he announced about forty five minutes ago.
Westman: Well yeah, no sh*t.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #133 on: August 31, 2013, 08:51:17 PM »

October 10th, 1987
Governor's Office
12:18 PM:

Baucus on the TV Screen:
It's become quite apparent to me that the Montana Democratic Party is not the party that I grew up in and the one that men like Brendan McGuinness, Daryl Williams, and Michael Mansfield made great.  Over the past several years it's become apparent that a faction of radical malcontents have overtaken the party and are forcing their views on the majority.  It is because of this complete disregard for the people of this state, this total ignorance of the will of the majority, that I must come out against the programs of the Governor Scott Westman.  I wish that I had fellow Democrats to stand with, but it seems the Governor and his ilk have completely taken over the state government.  My do I regret supporting him after the primary, even though to this day I believe that I was right in assessing his ability to lead.  It is thus that I must decide to make a step that I thought I would never have to do, I'm announcing my candidacy for the Governorship of Montana. . . but not as a Democrat.  Instead, I have decided to change my partisan ID to a party of ideas, of leadership, and of courage and pragmatism over the radicalism and cowardly backroom dealings of the Westman Democratic Party.  I am going to run as a Republican and I am most blessed to have received the endorsement and support of our former governor Richard Peters! (tape pauses)
Westman: Jesus, this is just embarrassing to watch a man like that self-destruct.
Herschelwitz: Didn't some moron predict that he'd be in office for decades?
Means: Ha, in what universe?  The universe of attention whores?  Knowing the GOP, he'll lose by landslide margins in the primary.  I'd be shocked if he gets 10%.
Westman: At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if the Republicans start coming out for Donegan, maybe even do a massive protest for him.
Herschelwitz: Hell Scott, you could probably get the Republican nomination over that hardon.
Westman grins.
Westman: Now that's an idea!  I could run on both major party tickets!  Nah f*** it.  Not happening.  There's still a large portion of that party who think I'm a goddamn socialist.  They have the establishment backing and will most likely get the nod.  But still, this is pretty hilarious is it not?
Herschelwitz: Should I place in an order for a Lazerdisk?
Westman: Yeah sure, just remember to put it under "Miscellaneous Expense" this time, dumbass.
Herschelwitz: Hey that was one time!
Westman: You ran it as a "Necessary Business Expense".
Herschelwitz: Well it is.
Westman: Yes, but too many words.  Now, let's look at this school bill.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #134 on: September 01, 2013, 05:05:27 PM »

In a room thousands of miles away:

The assembled crowd watched as the tall figure in black walked towards the podium at the front of the long room.  Looking them over, the gray haired man with the patch over his right eye began to speak:

Is beannaithe an láidir agus díreach!  We have come to the most pivotal moment in our revolution!  The capitalist dogs of the West thing they are winning while being so blind to what is happening in their own backyards!  Today, brothers and sisters, is when we make our most decisive blow!  Today is when we expose to the world the United States of America for what it really is: a paper tiger!

Saoirse agus ceartais go deo!


Thunderous applause occurs as the crowd is whipped up into a frenzy.
All hell was about to break loose.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #135 on: September 01, 2013, 06:08:00 PM »

October 10th, 1987
Lá an Bháis
(Day of Death)

Minneapolis, Minnesota:


The van of five pulled up outside of the branch of the Bank of Minnesota.  The five men, all dressed in full black with AK-47s on their back, rushed into the bank at approxiamtely 4:59pm.  As they rushed the door open, the security guard responded:
Guard: Sorry gentlemen, but hours are 8-5-
BOOM!
In an instant the material that was the guard's head had vaporized in a torrent of gunfire.  Instantly there was a roar of panic as the five radicals burst forth into the lobby and just started littering the surroundings with the smell of expended assault rifle cartridges.  After fifteen seconds they stopped, observing the smatterings of crumbled bodies with bright bloody pools coming out beneath them.
There was a scream in the background:
MURDERERS!
The men looked around at the six dead bodies near them that were taken in the initial storm.  One of them, a tall man with sandy hair, approached the center table and started speaking in an accent that was unmistakably Cork.
Terrorist: Okay damn it!  Keep your f***ing cool now and no one else will have to get hurt you hear!  We don't want to take any more lives than necessary to accomplish what we came here to do today.  We are freedom fighters, not mass murderers!  Though that's hard to make clear when you're all yelling and pissing us off!
The room gets quiet.
Terrorist: My demands are clear: I want to see the money in the vault of this bank.  If I don't see the money in the next five minutes, we're going to kill you all.  And believe you me, we are well enough trained to gun down ever last f***ing one of youse like the capitalist pawns that you are!
The bank manager stands up and throws the lead terrorist the keys.
Bank Manager: Here take it!  You won't get much further anyway.  Minneapolis finest are on their wa-
BOOM!
The Bank Manager's grey matter redorates the walls of the bank's lobby.
Terrorist: Well sh*t!  Looks like we are going to be killing all you motherf***ers anyway!  Didn't want to be too greedy about it, given the cause of the revolution, but given your continued insistence on being pawns of the totalitarian fascist American state, you leave us no choice.  Taimid Shaoran!
There are several cries heard from the lobby as the terrorist group starts littering the place with even more heavy gunfire.  After about thirty seconds, the cries stop.
The leader smiles and gives out an evil laugh.
Terrorist: Good, now let's get the money.
The five of them go into the back of the bank and are out with the cash in less than three minutes.  As they leave they pour gasoline all over the insides of the bank and set it ablaze.  They get in the van and speed off about two minutes before the cops show up to the worst massacre in the history of Minneapolis.
It was but a beginning of a chain of events that would rock the country to it's very core.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #136 on: September 01, 2013, 06:17:51 PM »

THis is CNN News:

This is Breaking News Alert from CNN News:

In an unprecedented wave of violence, Taimid Shaoran agents have unleashed hell on the United States.  There have been already, at this hour, over a dozen terror attacks throughout the United States.  Most of these were targeting banks and other financial institutions.  In one gruesome attack in Minneapolis 15 people were murdered while the terrorists stole approximately $4.5 million in bearer bonds and securities.  In Edmond, Oklahoma 12 people were murdered at a local Post Office that was razed to the ground by the terrorists who then got into a bloody shootout with local police, saw the death of two local officers.  At the moment, 107 people have been killed in various terror acts by the Taimid, who only seem to be getting more bloodthirsty by the minute.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #137 on: September 02, 2013, 06:03:00 PM »

The Day of Death:

In what was termed as the "Day of Death" in the United States, the Taimid Shaoran organization staged 42 attacks throughout the United States.  Many of these attacks were noted for their excessive brutatlity, with dozens of civillians being gunned down in cold blood and buildings set ablaze in gasoline fire.  At the end of the day, 395 Americans were dead from various terrorist attacks.  In one day more Americans were killed in acts of violence than in the previous three weeks.
Though much less people were killed by the Taimid than in the initial New York and Florida attacks (which claimed millions), the impact of the October 10th attacks had a strong reaction on the American psyche.  With massacres happening everywhere from big city Minneapolis to isolated ranch homesteads in North Dakota, no one no longer felt safe.  There came to be this feeling that no matter how hard the government tried the terrorists could kill anybody anywhere in the nation..
As well, there was a certain feeling of resentment amongst many in regards to the foreign policy of President Crane.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #138 on: September 02, 2013, 06:08:22 PM »

October 10th, 1987
Helena, Montana:


A press unit sees Montana Governor Scott Westman coming out of the State Capitol building.
Press: Governor!  What do you have to say about the most recent attacks?
Westman: I told you so.  Also, I'll be accepting all the apologies that the United States Justice Department has to offer for trying me for sedition.
Westman hands the microphone back to the reporter and heads towards his Jeep, speeding off into the distance.
Press: Typical.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #139 on: September 02, 2013, 06:19:32 PM »

Later that night:

Scott Westman is watching the television as Assistant Attorney General Lloyd Donlon takes the podium.
Donlon: Good evening.  It seems that we as a nation are in a time of intense crisis that no one could've predicted.
Westman: Damn right, dumbass.
Donlon: In the mean time though, in the interest of national unity, the United States Government has decided to suspend prosecution against the Governor of Montana indefinitely in regards to the charge of sedition.
Westman laughs.
Westman: Yeah, I can't imagine you would've looked that well arguing your joke of a case against me anyways.
Donlon: Though, at a later date when all of this insanity has stopped and the nation is at peace, we hope very much to take to task the Governor's dubious understanding of constitutional law.
Westman: Keep telling yourself that.
Donlon: As hard as this is, I would like to offer a personal apology to Scott Westman for any misunderstanding that arose from the recent trial case.  Know that it was nothing personal and that I was just doing my job as an Assistant AG.  These are very serious times, and we must take all concerns to the utmost.
Westman: Oh damn it, I was looking so forward to making you out to be an ass Lloyd.  And now you're taking this moderate hero way out?  This is almost as bad as executive meddling on sitcoms.
Donlon: Mark my words, I intend to someday uphold this law in the proper courts, that is the Supreme Court, and uphold it's constitutionality.  However at the moment, as the attacks of today have shown, there are issues that supersede the legalistic squabbles between the states and the federal government.  What we are dealing with is mass homicide.  These people are ruthless murderers who will stop at nothing to make this a culture of fear.  We must gather all of our efforts, through intelligence and military, to deal with this most urgent threat.
I would also like to make a personal appeal to many congressmen to put aside their biases and try to push for effective gun control and public safety legislation.  Surely, if there were more regulatory agencies on the process of purchasing heavy assault weapons and other dangerous weapons that were used by the terrorists, we might've limited the damage done by this tragedy.
Westman: My my, it seems there is no tragedy too low for the moderate fascist brigade to take advantage of.
Donlon: Look, I don't like the idea of assault weapon bans or a national registry any more than the next man.  However, considering the wave of violence that is overtaking American society where no one, whether that be in big city New York or on a Wyoming ranch, feels safe now is the time for some direct action to be taken.  I realize this is out of line for a cabinet official, but this has gone on unchecked for far too long.
(applause}
Donlon: Make no mistake, me and the AG are working around the clock to bring those that have committed these evil deeds to justice.  There is a war going on, not just overseas, but now here at home.  And nobody gets away with attacking Americans on AMerican soil.  NOBODY.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #140 on: September 02, 2013, 06:30:54 PM »

After the speech:

Herschelwitz:
What the f***ing what what what?
Means: Sounds like that he has finally woken up and smelled the coffee.  And luckily on the same day as this attack.  If anything he has gone from a total joke to a future New Jersey Senator just through this one speech.
Westman: Damn it, I really wanted to humiliate him.  Now all that is going to happen is that he's going to come out sounding like a big damn hero who just wants to do his duty for the nation.  If I didn't know any better I would swear there is some disgusting conspiracy going on to keep Lloyd Donlon popular.
Brea Westman enters the room and sits on Westman's lap before giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Westman: Umm hey baby.  We're just talking about all of this bullsh*t going on with the Attorney General and sh*t.
Brea: Oh yes I heard about it today at the legal clinic.  Tough, isn't it?  If I didn't know any better I would swear there is a conspiracy going on to make this Donlon guy popular.
Westman laughs.
Westman: That's exactly what I said.  Anyway (rubs her back), what're your plans for tonight?
Westman glares at Herschelwitz.
Brea: Well, I have an amicus brief to prepare for the most recent civil liberties case in Great Falls.  Apparently some paisan from the old country had his accounts wiped clean by the government.  He claims that the fed has wronged him and wants approximately $2.5 million in settlement.  Why?
Westman wraps his arms around her, taking in her scent.
Westman: Look, I don't want you going anywhere.
Brea: Dad. . . . .
Westman: Damn it Brea!  You are going home with me tonight and that's final!  You f***ing understand me!
Brea looks over at Herschelwitz with concern.
Westman: Look, I understand you have things to do and that you and Carl are making babies-
Brea:-Pa, we haven't even cuddled together yet-
Westman: Whatever damn it!  Point is I'm not leaving you out of my sight for the next week.  Hell maybe even the next two weeks!
Brea: Father, I'm a grown up no-
Westman: I could give a damn Brea, you're still my little girl.  And I'd rather burn in hell than have even the remote possibility of harm coming to you.  I've always been a great lenient father, allowing you great freedom to pursue whatever course of life you wanted to.  However, you are the most f***ing beloved thing in my entire life.  My political career, my fortune, all of the sex I've ever had, all of it means sh*t without you.  I left you once Brea Westman. . . . never again.
Carl Herschelwitz observes as Brea Westman sheds a single tear.  He had heard Westman say many things drunk before, and many things that were obvious bullsh*t.  He's even heard him say things that sounded entirely genuine that were total bullsh*t, mostly to women he was shagging.  However, he could tell from the glint of Westman's eye that there was never a time when he was more real and more serious than in that moment.
Scott Westman was going to move Hell in order to keep his girl safe.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #141 on: September 02, 2013, 06:38:05 PM »

Also after the speech:

Lloyd Donlon looks down at the desk in disgrace silence.
Donlon: So we're just going to give up?
Underwood: Lloyd, we didn't have a case against Westman.  At this rate we'll be lucky if he doesn't press a lawsuit against the government for wrongdoing or discrimination.
Donlon: But this makes me look weak!
Underwood: You really aren't that much of a politician are you?
Donlon:  Well I fail to see how this increases my political profile for the next Senate race.
Underwood laughs.
Underwood: Don't you get it?  By backing out and putting the national priority first you have made yourself look more like a dedicated public servant than an overzealous prosecutor!  You've gotten yourself about twenty more points in the primary just by this action alone!  You've backed out while not surrendering!
Donlon smiles.
Donlon: Claire you're a genius!  Sooner or later the people will be calling me Junior US Senator Lloyd Donlon of New Jersey!  Hahahahaha!
Underwood: That's the point genius.  There is a silver lining on every cloud.  Just be thankful we found a good one without the disgrace of an easy to lose trial with Mr. Self-Righteousness.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #142 on: September 02, 2013, 06:42:26 PM »

Statement from the Governor of Montana
Dated 10/11/1987:


I appreciate with much gratitude the decision that Assistant Attorney General Lloyd Donlon has come to regarding the recent unfortunate legal hassle with the state of Montana.  However, the battle is far from over.  Unlike the Assistant Attorney General, I don't believe that these are the times that call for us to put aside issues like our liberties and our rights under the Constitution.  If anything, now is the time to address these areas of concern.  It is by our consistent standard in standing by our principles, the principles that set this nation apart from many others, that makes us a truly morally superior force.  Rest assured, this state government will not sue the federal government for wrongful legal action.  However, someday down the road, much sooner than the AG would wish, we will bring this case before hte Supreme Court of the United States.  We will not rest, we will not be quiet when the rights of so many are under attack by our government while at the same time living in a society of fear.

-Scott Westman
Logged
MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
*****
Posts: 57,380


Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #143 on: September 02, 2013, 06:54:33 PM »

Always like the SC being included.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #144 on: September 02, 2013, 07:14:03 PM »

Two Months Later
December 11th, 1987
Helena, Montana:


It had been a long and trying two months for the Montana Governor.
It had begun with a very premature and rushed trial that ended almost as soon as it had started.  An overzealous yet incompetent Assistant AG who seemed hell bent on prosecuting Westman to the ends of the earth suddenly deciding, due to the interest of national unity, to suddenly discontinue his case against the embattled Montana Governor in order to prosecute the domestic war against the Taimid Shaoran, who went on an unprecedented wave of violence throughout the nation.
And then there was his attempt at putting off the divorce from Carolina Kennedy, the former First Lady of Montana, until after the 1988 re-election.  At first she seemed hell bent on getting it done as fast as possible to get away from any legal and financial obligations from him, but as the environment of the times became more apparent she decided to go along with Westman's idea to let the marriage run it's course for a couple of more years until the future of the Montana Democratic Party was certain.  At the same time Westman would be free to continue his relationship with Lena D'Israeli, who had moved into the Mansion about a month ago to a shockingly mum reaction from the press.
Man, what happened to the good old days when getting into an affair was serious business?  Have I destroyed the stigma so long associated with it?  I mean for goodness sake, she's the ex-wife of my former Lt. Governor!
However, at the same time Lena refused to take up the duties of the office of First Lady of Montana.  Instead, Westman's daughter and eldest child, Brea Westman, took up the office as official hostess.  This would make Westman the first Governor who was still technically married to have a First Lady who wasn't his wife.  And due to Westman's own paranoia, Brea Westman ended up staying at the Mansion in a spare room and had armed escorts take her back and forth from work everyday.
And finally, there was the ugly matter of the Taimid, who certainly didn't ignore the state of Montana in their foray to terrorize Americans.  In fact, Montana was at the heart of their American operations, with the Taimid taking over several militia compounds throughout the state, including one right outside of Great Falls.  Amassing a sizable armament of guns, including several dozen rocket launchers, they managed to raise hell amongst people traveling along the roads of central Montana and participated in several terror actions across the state.  At times it felt like Westman was at war with the Taimid, who kept showing up at every imaginable part of the state.  Current estimates have that there are at least 850 Taimid operatives operating out of Montana.
Casualties have been thankfully minimal, though still disheartening given the low population of Montana.
And at the moment, Governor Westman was arranging for a challenge to the US Supreme Court to challenge the constitutionality of the Defend America Act.  Westman's opposition to the Act, staunch as it was, turned him from a random western governor who was known for his lax lifestyle to one of the loudest leaders of the civil libertarian left.
And in another month he had to debate that one Donegan hardon on the merits of the DAA.
However now, he had a more pressing issue.
The Attorney General of Montana.  The Democratic Attorney General of Montana.
What did this Attorney General do you might ask?
Well. . .. .. . . he did something with a bunch of money in the stock market using taxpayer funds that was highly unethical.  Oh, and he also used some of those proceeds to do things that were unsavory. . . . like 16 year old boys from Thailand.
Westman: What the f***?
Yeah see, even the Governor is shocked by this.  I mean how f***ing sick man!  That's like taking a jar full of WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG!!! and lighting it with napalm man!
Westman: You dirty motherf***er!  I mean seriously Mike!  How the hell do you even have the audacity to come in here and talk to me after all this bullsh*t!?
McGrath, shocked at Westman's rage and anger, responded.
McGrath: Look, I know what I did was wrong okay?  I have a problem!
Westman breaks a pen he had in his hand in half.
Westman: A PROBLEM!  YOU HAVE A F***ING PROBLEM!?  NO FUUCKING SH*T SHERLOCK!?  YOU LIKE TO BANG ASIAN BOYS!  OF COURSE YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM YOU REVOLTING COCKSUCKER!  AND YOU'VE BROUGHT MORE DISGRACE ON THIS OFFICE THAN ALL OTHER ATTORNEY GENERALS IN THE HISTORY OF THIS STATE!
Westman's face was red with rage and with tears.  He didn't know how, but there was some invisible force that was keeping him from leaping across the table and murdering Mike McGrath with his bare hands.
Westman: You know what really hurts the most though Mike? (tears falling down his face)  I trusted you.  I trusted you goddamn it!  And this is how you repaid my trust?  By stealing from the taxpayer to finance your evil lifestyle!?
McGrath: Spare my the self-righteous indignation Governor.  What I did was no different than what you did a decade ago-
Westman: NO IT ISN'T YOU COCKSUCKER!
McGrath: Oh really then?  You're giving me fresh sh*t for nailing Asian teenage boys when you were poppin' 12 year olds at Berkeley!
Westman: Whatever man.  Just get the fuck out of here before I do something I regret more than asking for your resignation.  You make me sick and I wish you spend the rest of your life rotting in that little sodomy hole that the authorities will place you in for the next however many years.  Your a disgrace Mike, to this state, to your family, and to humanity.  Now please, do me a favor and die.
The disgraced and at that moment ex-Attorney General of Montana exits the room, slamming the door as hard and as loud as he could.
Westman: F***er.
Well, we know what this means.  I guess it's time to appoint yet another politician to office.  That just seems to happen a lot lately.
Westman opens up a folder on his desk and starts looking at several names:
David Mansfield (D), Current US Senator: Would have the gravitas, but he's way too popular in his role as US Senator and a lot less of a danger in Washington than here.
Ryan O'Nial (D), Union Trial Lawyer from Butte: Would be great at reaching out to laborites, but still like David want to minimize potential damage.  Last thing we need is an AG from the same party who will openly oppose certain libertarian aspects of our agenda.
Kathleen Sarah Connor (D), House Representative from Kalispell: She's from Flathead, like most good people.  However, that might indicate too much home grown bias and with Schweitzer already tapped to lead the future in the US Senate, having yet another Kalispell/White Fish Democrat in tow might be unpopular amongst many.
Helen Brisco (R), Senator from Billings: . . . .   . . . . seriously man?  How many more times?
Westman sighs, putting his head in his hands.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #145 on: September 02, 2013, 07:29:04 PM »
« Edited: September 06, 2013, 06:20:08 PM by Communists For McCain »

Helena, Montana
An apartment near the Capitol
Approximately 7:45 PM

Brisco:
Damn it Scott, you really expect me to come crawling back to you after everything that has happened?
Westman: Look, you were right, Caroline was a bitch.  A cold heartless bitch who only married me for money and prestige.
Brisco: And you married her for sex.  What makes you any better?
The 37 year old Republican Senator, from the libertarian wing of the party, was wearing what appeared to be a very tall man's shirt and some flannel pants.  She had been off of work for several hours and was about to crash, alone once again, while watching some late night soap opera.
Brisco: I brought you unconditional love once Scott.  And you rejected it.
Westman: Yes, and now I see that was a mistake.  I put partisan hackery before what really matters the most. . . . . you.
Brisco: And you slapped me too, you ignorant ass.
Westman: Look damn it, you think I haven't regretted that everyday of my life?  I couldn't sleep for a week afterward Helen.
Brisco: Bullsh*t.
Westman: Okay, I drank myself to sleep but still.  It was a mistake.
Brisco: Continually saying it won't suddenly make things right you know.  I've had too much heartbreak in my life to consider returning once more to what will be certain disappointment.  Besides, your heart clearly belongs to another.
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh Lena?  Haha babe, don't be such a moralist!  She's only there for the sex!
Helen laughs loudly on the other end.
Brisco: And you expect me to be alright with that?  One woman for sex only?  How about you being a one woman man?  I want you, and you alone Scott.  Not you and some other dame who is there to keep you warm.
Westman grimaces.
Westman: Look, I'm not asking for a relationship Helen.
Brisco: Oh thank f***.
Westman: Don't sound too relieved, I thought we could start something up in the near future.
Brisco: Well then you really need to be examined Scott.  If you expect favors from me while-
Westman: okay, I'm sorry.  You obviously need some space.  I can respect that.
Brisco: Will you stop trying to get in my pants and say what you want from me that isn't about sex then?
Westman: Alright, look. . . . . . McGrath has absolutely disgraced the office of the AG.  Absolutely disgraced it beyond measure.  I shudder to think what he has done to the image of the Montana Democratic Party, what with his f****ty molestation charges and what not.  Well, Democrats are probably losing seats next year anyway.  We're up to 59 in the House, we got to go down sometime.
Brisco: Are you saying that you want to appoint me the new AG?
Awkward pause.
Westman: Well, there is a list of potential candidates, but you are at the top of the list right now.  I just can't think of anybody who is as qualified who would do less damage to the office.
Brisco laughs.
Brisco: Okay fine, I'll be your AG. . . . on one condition.
Westman: Name it.
Brisco: I get the First Lady's China set.

Fixed to avoid jumping the shark
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #146 on: September 08, 2013, 09:13:15 PM »
« Edited: September 08, 2013, 09:19:10 PM by Communists For McCain »

June 27th, 1979:

"Wake up damn it!"
"Carl?  Dude, what the f-"
"Dude, we are in some major shit!"
"Huh, what do you mean?"
"The police man!"
"What the hell do they want?"
"I got word that they have a search warrant for this house!"
"Shit!  How'd you find out this early in the morn?"
"It's 7:38 dude."
"Hell, I slept in again.  Guess Cal's gone to the agency."
"No man!  You came home about 1:45 in the afternoon because your drunk ass was tired."
"So it's 7:38 PM?"
"Yeah."
"Fuck!"
Westman finally opens his eyes and jumps out of bed.  He notices, to his dismay, that he was fully clothed in his usual business suit wear outfit.
Westman: Where is she?
Herschelwitz: She got tired of waiting for you to wake up so she took your wallet and went to the club.
Westman: So she's going to the club to get plastered and do some illegal drugs while my ass is passed out waiting for the coppers to rip this place out for our easy to find pot?  You know that Raygun has ordered a crackdown don't you?  Freaking Oyster Club Republicans, why did Rocky survive that orgasm induced heart attack?
Herschelwitz: Well, they'll be here in about thirty minutes.
Westman: How do you know all of this?  Usually you don't know shit!
Herschelwitz: What're you talking about?  I'm your chief advisor!
Westman: You could've fooled me.  Seems like lately you just acted like my wife.
Herschelwitz: That's harsh man.
Westman: Marriage was the worst idea I ever had.  If I knew how full of sh*t Catalina's father was I would've told him what's what.  She did nothing by whine and complain man.
Herschelwitz: Nevermind that her death probably gave you the sympathy factor that is responsible for you even being here in the first place.  They certainly didn't elect you because they approved of your relationship with Marci.
Westman: Okay yes, being a widowed single father does have it's perks, even if you are an immoral bastard like myself.  Granted Carl.  Very good observation.  You deserve a Field's Medal.
Herschelwitz: Okay Mr. Wise Ass, what about the police?
Westman: Well. . . . . . .sh*t.  Cal has gone out now so there is no way we can pass it onto her like usual.  Thank goodness we live in Virginia, or they might be asking for my guns.
Herschelwitz: I don't know why you keep those things around man.  It's like a freaking fetish or something.
Westman: So is your tendency to be an asshole, Carl.  Okay, I'm going to find Cal.  You stay here and clena everything up.
Herschelwitz: Man what the fuck!?
Westman: Look man, it's been nearly 20 hours since we. . . . yeah.
Herschelwitz: I don't need to hear that shit!
Westman: Look, you do this for me you get a free vacation week, alright?
Herschelwitz: Fine, I'll clean up your shit.
Westman heads out the door without saying thanks or goodbye.  Carl, opening a floorboard in the ktichen, takes a bag out and heads to the toilet.
Herschelwitz: Asshole.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #147 on: September 22, 2013, 06:58:18 PM »

June 27th, 1979
A Few Hours Later:


Scott Westman woke up at the Drunken Dutchman Bar to the tapping of the bartender on his shoulder.
Bartender: Hey mate wake up.  It’s the Pope.
Westman, knowing exactly what that meant, shuddered.
Westman: Hell.  Well, let’s see what they want.
The bartender hands the phone to Westman, who puts it begrudgingly against his ear.
Westman: What is it now, Petey?
There is some silence on the other end before a voice of surprise erupts on the other end.
Petey Welsh: You surprise me Senator.  How’d you guess so easily?
Westman: Call it premonition.  Also, your heavy wheezing breathing brought on by decades of heavy smoking.
Welsh: That’s pretty flacking funny Senator.
WEstman: No man, I’m not kidding you man.  Decades of smoking can lead to bad vocals.  Just look at how it affected the career of the East Coast Boys.
Welsh: Well, who the hell are the East Coast Boys?
Westman: A bunch of old hardons in Jersey who couldn’t score $25 on July Boffing Fourth, that’s who.  There’s a reason why you ain’t never heard of them.  They smoked like flackin chimneys and it destroyed their voices.
Welsh: Next thing I know you’re going to tell me that these things cause cancer, right?
Westman: How dumb do you have to be Petey?  Of course they give you cancer!  What do you think happens with decades of smoking?  You discover the Fountain of Fracking Youth?[/b]
Welsh: Alright enough pleasantries Senator.  We got your lady up at the precinct office.  She was cursing some of the patrolmen up and down the streets.  WE had to take her in.
Westman: Dumb slut, she probably deserved it.  Shaking that ass everywhere she goes, trying to tempt all the men folk.  She’s lucky I don’t belt her for being so wanton.
Welsh: Look man, I don’t blame you for all your jealous rage.  Alright?  If I saw a woman as fine as Calpernia touching up on the wait staff at the local bistro I’d be on edge all the time too.  However, I should warn you that beating a woman is considered to be a criminal offense now days.
Westman: Well, if you want to be really technical about it. . . . .
Welsh: Just sh**tting with you Senator.  The only jurisdictions that care about that kind of radical feminist bullshit are the fagos in San Francisco.  Over here, even with all the radical left wing socialist loving ns, nobody would bat an eye for giving that wanton slut the business.  She’s rubbed her ass against so many gents in this town that she’s lucky not to have gotten GRIDS yet.  I don’t know how you can put up with such a ravenous cock crazed whore man.  And you just let her walk around town and shit like that?
Westman: I don’t know what’s wrong with me either man.  I should get a more proper girl who stays at home all day and cooks Shepherd’s Pie.  But damn, that’s some nice ass.
Welsh: Well, she’s in the holding cell as we speak.  If you want we can put her in the conjugal room for your arrival.
Westman: What?  And give you walking hardons the pleasure of seeing us live and in action?  No freaking way!  I’m barely sober enough to tell my right thumb apart from my penis.  There’s an upscale hotel nearby that we can check into.  But thanks for the concern.
Welsh: Well yeah, she is one hot slut.  I’ll give you that.
Westman has a nice laugh.
Westman: That's the word around town at least.

Forty minutes later:

Scott Westman walks into the lobby as Calpernia is brought out to him.  She was wearing her favored black romper suit and thigh highs and looked like she was about three grams over the legal limit.  She came over to Westman, pulled herself against his body with one of her legs circling his back, and then proceeded to give him a very passionate kiss that seemed to last nearly five minutes.
Calpernia: Hmm baby, these bars make me horny.
Westman: I bet.  Too bad you weren’t in with the menfolk.  If they knew all about you, your sickest fantasy might’ve come true.
She puts a hand inside his shirt.
Calpernia: No, not quite.  I’m living my fantasy at the moment.  I’m a supermodel who is shacked up with a lace curtain millionaire.  What more could anyone ask for?
Westman grabs both of her buttocks firmly.
Westman: How about a good shove?
A police officer walks in on them.
Officer: Excuse me, Lover Boy!  You got a call on line five.
Westman comes over to the office phone.
Westman: Hello?
Herschelwitz: Man, we are so boned!
Westman: Dude, what the hell?
Herschelwitz: It wouldn’t go down!
Westman: Carl, did you flush?
Herschelwitz: Yes damn it!  Was I supposed to do something else with it?
Westman: You were supposed to smoke it you big dumb owl!  You don’t flush man!  The pressure from the baggie will cause the water to rise up and cause it to stop up!
Herschelwitz: Ha, now you tell me.  Also, police never showed up.
Westman: Waste of time and resources!  Now I’m going to have to go to another dealer in the area.  Hell man, you’re so amateur!
Westman hangs up the phone before grabbing Calpernia by the hips and walking towards the door.
Westman: I’m about to go jingoist on your ass.
Cal laughs evilly.
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #148 on: September 22, 2013, 07:01:36 PM »

Later that night:
Senate Minority Whip Tobin MacMahon is having the usual drink with the Minority Leader Lloyd Bentsen.  The Irish born United States Senator, who won “an upset landslide” against the moderate Republican state senator John Warner last November, was in a particularly somber mood. And the catalyst driving his mood with Senator Scott Westman of Montana.
MacMahon: Why can’t we just put down that Focker?!
Bentsen gives him a few documents, as well as an audio tape.
MacMahon: What the fock is this?
Bentsen: Potential leverage.  Just in case he gets too out of control, like supporting a Republican candidate.
MacMahon lauhgs.
MacMahon: So pretty much, you’re saying this will never be used?
Bentsen: Yep.
MacMahon laughs.
MacMahon: Might as well make it good fire kindling.  Really man, if we aren’t even going to use it, what is the point of bringing it forward?
Bentsen leans forward, thinking of how to say what he was going to say next.
Bentsen: Because my dear pal, this isn’t leverage for us.  This is leverage for the Republicans.  And the Constitutionalists.  IF they get their hands on this sensitive info, we’ve lost ourselves one of our finest Senators.
MacMahon laughs.
MacMahon: Oh what?!  Scott Fockin’ Westman?  One of our finest Senators?  Are you focking kidding me!  He’s been the proud and open leader of the opposition!  In spite of his own party.
Bentsen: You have to remember Toby, Mo Udall also opposed us.  As did George McGovern.
MacMahon: True, but they weren’t so gallivant and cavalier about it.  In my mind, keeping Mr. Westman in office is pretty much giving the Republican Party a free vote in Montana.  He doesn’t even vote with us on the gorram tax policy!  For fock’s sake!  At this point I’d much rather have Jacob Javits in our party than Scott Westman, which is saying a lot.  The self-righteous Jew bastard he is.
Bentsen: You’re about the most racist man I’ve met outside of my home state Toby.  What is it with you and pointing out that Javits is a “self-righteous Jew bastard”?
MacMahon: Notice that I had in fact said nothing about the Jewish race being self-righteous.  Thus I am not being racist.  I’m just saying that Javits is a self-righteous bastard who happens to be a Jew.  I was about to say something about his nose, but I know how antsy you are with the race card, Lloyd.
Bentsen: Comes from upbringing I suppose.
MacMahon: Need I remind you that after this meeting of ours I’m going to go home and shag my black wife?  Can I please at least get some racist exemption for that?
Bentsen: Okay fine.  But while we’re at it, let’s please do talk about this tax policy debacle.  I don’t think that talks to lower the rates down to 50% is insane, do you?
MacMahon: Well of course not.  But I don’t want to set myself up for being unelected, do you? Guys like Westman, they don’t understand the problems of political repercussions.  HE lives like a free wheeling dealer without any cause or worry in the world of being in office three years from now.  I don’t such a lunatic representing a Democratic Senate seat.  It makes us too vulnerable and has a net negative effect on our efforts to maintain our coalition.
Bentsen: Well, I don’t think his presence is that net negative for our party.  After all, he did turn out young people in record numbers when he was running for office.  If it weren’t for the young vote, he would’ve been toast in Montana.  It’s a good thing that Montana passed that law a few years back that allowed 16 year olds to vote.  Don’t you agree?
MacMahon: I don’t know how the bloody hell they managed that.  I mean we are beating our asses to get a nation wide legislation passed to allow 18 year olds to vote.  Hell, Virginia doesn’t allow people under 21 years old to vote.  How crazy is that?
Bentsen: Well, you know how it is “oh but that is way too radical Mr. Speaker! 18 year olds voting!  Next thing you know 12 year olds will be voting!”  And we can’t get enough bastards to support this, on either side!  We get Democrats fearing that the growing sphere of the “affluence class” would put us at a disadvantage while some Republicans fear that it would give us a natural advantage due to the “idealism” of the youth.
MacMahon: Just like war, eh?
Bentsen takes a drink.
Bentsen:  Yep, just like war, eh.
MacMahon picks up the dossier on Westman.  Reading it, he gets a grin on his face.
MacMahon: OH boy oh boy, he is quite a naughty boy.  He can’t keep himself out of anything.
Bentsen: I know what you’re thinking, and no.
MacMahon: Why the fock not?  We could get a more competent and more loyal Senator on the Montana bench!
Bentsen: Toby, that is three years from now.  At this current rate, people will have a higher approval rating of Charles Manson than they do President Reagan!
MacMahon: That is another nutter we could do without.  How the hell did he get elected anyway?
Bentsen: Pop music fanboys.  DOesn’t matter how outright communistic or paranoid lunatic fringe he is, the people of Commie Garden, LA are going to keep re-electing his ass.
MacMahon: Must be something in the water.  We should liquidate him.
Bentsen: Nah, let’s keep it within legal parameters.  Anyway, we should consider maybe placating Westman instead of alienating him.  He seems to have some novel ideas.
MacMahon: Like his very racist and nativist appeals to the Constitution nutjobs on the Iraq Surge Bill?  Yeah sure!
Bentsen: No, I mean once the New Dealers are up and out, and I know you want them gone just as much as I do-
MacMahon: Amen paisan.
Bentsen:-once they are out of the way, which they might if next year goes badly enough for them, we can finally move the party towards a more. . .  . well. . . .favorable position.  I mean you are always complaining about how hardline the Dealers are!  Now we can do something about it!  Let idiots like Dodd and Baucus fall flat on their faces.  WE are the Senate Leaders Tobin!  WE just sit back and pick up the scraps of the fallen and then reshape it in our image.  None too difficult, don’t you think?
MacMahon: So, you brought me here tonight to show me this, well, this pornographic evidence and you want me to suddenly go gungho for Scott Westman?  What if he doesn’t fall in line?  What if he turns out to truly be a radical hippie and declares war on the party down the line?  What do we do then?
Bentsen: Well, you know what they say about loose lips.. . . . . . . .
Logged
Mechaman
Atlas Icon
*****
Posts: 13,791
Jamaica
Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #149 on: September 22, 2013, 07:02:09 PM »

The Hatfield Defense Omnibus Bill of 1979:

After the Republicans took Congress in 1979 the new Republican leadership under the guidance of Senate Leader Mark Hatfield of Oregon had begun a direct assault on the foreign policy agenda of then Democratic President Ronald Reagan.  Reagan, who was a staunch believer in using American influence to guide world events, authorized more military interventions than any President in American history up to that point.  Thanks to the precedents set by the preceding presidents, Reagan went about these foreign episodes with virtually no authority from Congress.  This, along with a continued legacy of political corruption in many state Democratic parties, led to the Revolution of 1974 that saw record gains in many Democratic strongholds for Republicans.
The Republican leadership then was led by Senator Robert Taft III of Ohio.  The son of the infamous “Mr. Conservative”, Taft advocated as Senate Majority Leader, a staunch non-interventionist foreign and domestic policy.  At first, the public reception to Taft’s leadership in the Senate was positive, with many supporting immediate pullouts from Bolivia, Panama, and Czechoslovakia.  The Republican Foreign Policy Agenda was a smashing success, with the Congress of 1975-1977 successfully pulling over $85 billion from the Defense Budget and thus forcing Reagan to withdraw forces from half a dozen foreign operations around the globe, some of which had started under the late Robert Kennedy.  However, during the 1976 Presidential campaign the Republican Hope would fade away, as the Republican Congressional leadership would find itself conflicting with its own Presidential Platform.  As Elliot Richardson was talking about better funding for the Public Healthcare Act of 1976, Robert Taft was outright campaigning for its abolition.  As well as drastic cutbacks on Social Security, Public Housing, Food Stamps, and other welfare programs.
The result was a total disaster.  Within a few weeks Richardson went from a seven point lead to being dead even with Reagan.  IN that year the Republicans lost both the Presidential race and the Democrats swept back into power with majorities in both houses in a tremendous upset as the general public feared two more years of Taft’s leadership.  Republican losses that year were almost as large as their gains in 1974, pretty much undoing the Revolution of 1974.
Things weren’t so great for the Reagan Administration, however, as a large number of the Democrats elected in the 1976 wave were anti-war Democrats who campaigned extensively on being the “moral alternative to DC politics.”  Candidates such as Scott Westman and Larry Watson, young, energetic, and passionately liberal, campaigned as populist everymen with anti-authoritarian streaks.  In the words of Gene Pulaski: “A new generation of Democratic politics was born in 1976.”
Now in the minority, the Republican Party leadership coalesced around the leadership of Mark Hatfield of Oregon and Gerald Ford of Michigan.  Known for being more politically moderate than the previous Republican leadership, the new Republican leaders reached out to the various anti-war and anti-corruption politicians in the Democratic Party to form a coalition to oppose Reagan’s foreign policy.  Reagan approved several military operations that were combatted by the coalition.  After an unpopular intervention in the Indian Revolution that was condemned by politicians on both sides, many hawkish Democrats were voted out of office in November of 1978, putting the Congress back into Republican hands with a slim plurality.  However, anti-establishment sentiment amongst many state level Democratic parties prevented a total repeat of the Revolution of 1974.
Once in power, Hatfield set about launching a “war of peace” against the Administration’s foreign policy and defense budget.  Though he encountered a lot of resistance within the GOP establishment to his policy platform, Hatfield eventually got strong majorities of the Republican Party to support his agenda on the basis of fiscal conservatism.  Threatened with the prospect of losing their primaries, many GOP member lined up willingly to oppose the Reagan foreign policy.  However, the real momentum for the movement came in June of 1979, when Hatfield and Montana Democrat Scott Westman started legislative efforts to defund the Reagan foreign ventures.
Much has already been said about Westman’s rallying speech against the Iraq Surge Act, which paved the way for a brief period of non-interventionism in Washington that lasted until after the first midterm of the Crane Administration.  Another important event was Hatfield’s Defense Omnibus Bill, which was a critical blow to the Reagan Administration.
Considered to be “the most sweeping and radical change in foreign policy direction in decades”, the Bill was responsible for defunding approximately 85% of the Reagan interventions, cutting approximately $320 billion from the defense budget of 1980.  To the shock of everyone, Reagan signed the bill, noting that “sometimes, even a stubborn old fool like myself must be forced to see political reality”.  Unfortunately for Reagan, this wouldn’t help his approvals at all, as his rating would go down to 34% from the already meager 39% it was a week before.  Commenting on his drop, political analysts generally conclude that the pubic saw his about face on the issue as indicative of “weakness” and not merely his pragmatic nature (which was noted quite frequently when he was Senator of California in the 1960’s) coming out.
With this major victory the Republicans seemed poised to be on their way to a massive landslide victory in 1980.  Some polling even showed Republican figures like Ford and Hatfield winning with over 60% against Democratic candidates like Walter Mondale, Lloyd Bentsen, and Daniel Moynihan.
It had seemed that after 50 years the Republicans were finally returning to political dominance.
Logged
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10  
« previous next »
Jump to:  


Login with username, password and session length

Terms of Service - DMCA Agent and Policy - Privacy Policy and Cookies

Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines

Page created in 0.12 seconds with 12 queries.