Office of Legislator Velasco: Statement on energy policies

[Velasco]

December 6, 2012. Somewhere in Austin, Texas:


Fellow southerners, Texans, citizens of this blessed city of Austin also known as the Live Music Capital of the World:

I hereby declare that I'm running for the so-called Imperial Legislature, that is to say, the place where the legislation is done is this glorious land of The South. You may wonder why a simple citizen like me, without major political aspirations to date, decides to give this step. The reasons are multiple. First and foremost I was introduced to Southern politics by the Legislator and Labor Chair -and a celebrated Georgian citizen as well- Adam Griffin, who has given so many disinterestedly services to this land and which example is an inspiration for many of us. He kindly requested me to join the fight for a fairer and brighter South and here I am. Secondly, I have seen with certain worry the strange political drift and the extravagant agendas that some people seem to prosecute for this region. Since we are not in a film starred by Chuck Norris and I'm not a member of the body of the Walker Rangers, I will not award heroes and villains characters. I'll limit myself to say: where are we going?

Let me say that I'm perplex and confused like all of you. It seems that some Darths are taking the banner of the Lone Star, pretending to be to sole interpreters of the popular will. Alongside with certain eccentric secessionist ideas,  I've heard some strange rumours about some adventurous plans to invade parts of Mexico, a country with which we have strong historical links and from which there comes an important part of the population of our State. The alibi is to fight against drug cartels; the consequence will be to embark ourselves in a sickening marsh and to win for us the eternal hatred of our neighbours. Fortunately the head of our Executive branch, who seems to have slightly more of prudence than other members of his party, to be fair, is not very enthusiastic on such misguided plans. However, I have to ask: which is the agenda of the Imperial Bloc/ Federalist Party? Have they at least any?

Honestly, I want another way of doing the things. I'd like to see a major cooperation between this region and the federal government and our neighbours out of our borders. This would not be to resign our particularities, diverse on the other hand because, far away from the common place of the southerner gentlemen playing at being owners of their plantations sat on the porch of their mansions of Georgian style, we are a vibrant and dynamic region made of people who wants to look for a better future. In this uncertain and turbulent epoch we need to chase our Utopias with a strong dose of realism. Let's reject carpetbaggers, soldiers of fortune and the future of dystopia that we would be led by a wrong concept of imperial greatness: bring back the common sense!

Good night and thank you.

On a foot note, this candidate went away to Bill Callahan's venue after the inaugural campaign speech, kissed the girls and went to sleep.

[LastVoter]

Endorsed!

[Velasco]

Thanks, Seatown. Did you know that the Austin citizens like to play funny fantasy politics games? They seem to be very enthusiastic with a certain Obama, from a mythic land called USA. Who's that guy? Probably such hobbies are part of our venerable southern customs. In spite of the fact that I got a little time living here, I find them very interesting.



I'll give more details on my platform in following speeches, but feel free to ask anything

[Adam Griffin]

[Velasco]

Breaking news: Texan laborites have found a mascot! Incredible, this magnificent  specimen of the longhorn variety, found in certain pasture lands in the route of our caravan, likes roses. We feel more at home than ever.



The first stop of the electoral caravan will be the city of San Antonio, that was founded by settlers proceeding from my land of origin. This one is the reason why this candidate feels a special attachment to that place, besides some villages in the Missisipi Delta with similar origins. It's a good place to talk about dreamers, don't you agree?

[Northeast Rep Snowball]

Thanks, Seatown. Did you know that the Austin citizens like to play funny fantasy politics games? They seem to be very enthusiastic with a certain Obama, from a mythic land called USA. Who's that guy? Probably such hobbies are part of our venerable southern customs. In spite of the fact that I got a little time living here, I find them very interesting.



I'll give more details on my platform in following speeches, but feel free to ask anything

I believe we already have a thread for this mythical person

[Velasco]

I believe we already have a thread for this mythical person

In the way to San Antonio, I have done some stops in several communities of the Rio Grande Valley. People speak tirelessly about this mythical personage. Some of them say that he works miracles!

[Napoleon]

Endorsed.

[Velasco]

It's an honor, Mr. President. If I'm elected, I'll try to do the best for the people of the South.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Endorsed.

[Zanas]

You have my enthusiastic endorsement ! I'm looking forward to working with you in the Legislature.

[Velasco]

Thanks, Zanas. I'll try to update my campaign tomorrow. I've been in San Antonio, talking about immigration policies and promising something similar to the Barnes' Bi-Lingual Education Act (I know, I'm a copycat; see his campaign thread). Then I moved to Houston and I was very excited about visiting the NASA HQs (does a similar agency exist in Atlasia?). Then I took the way of Dallas and the twin city Fort Worth and I shook hands with the Larry Hagman's family (how populist I am). Then I made some jokes on Ben Kenobi's overacted reaction to Seatown's lawsuit (he assured that militias were recruited in Texas in response to such threat!) and spoke a bit on the role of the oil companies.

Here you have the prototypical Texan magnate: Larry Hagman characterised as JR. Who said that every story needs an epic villain?

[Gass3268]

Endorsed!

[Niemeyerite]

Todo mi apoyo.

[Velasco]

Thanks for the endorsements, guys. Lol, I've repeated "then" three times tonight. Campaigning is so hard... Matters related to Texas and the apparent  fight between the two souls inside the Federalist Party are entertaining and maybe worthy of Dostoevsky.

However, it's necessary to ask for the vote in the rest of the Ol' Dirty South, so here we go.

December 12, 2012. New Orleans, Louisiana:



My voice trembles, choked with emotion, when I'm addressing you in this venerable city of New Orleans. This place is so distinctive thanks to its cross-cultural and multilingual heritage, a beautiful jewel in the crown of South of this blessed Republic of Atlasia. I know things haven't been easy since the Hurricane Katrina destroyed these lands back in 2005. Quoting the remembered (and wept) Governor John Engle, in those unlucky days you were probably requesting for food and words of leadership.  But as soon as the emergency has passed it's necessary to look forward: how can we work on reconstruction? what can we do on putting the foundations in order that such events could be better confronted?

Because we live in a land of hurricanes and there's a climate change going on that will increase the frequency of those events, unfortunately. The only way of mitigating the consequences of what might be a catastrophe for the following generations, if we remain inactive, will be adopting measures to reduce the greenhouse emissions. How can it be achieved? Promoting the use of renewable energies such as the wind one, in which my home state is also a power -Texas is not characterized only by its oil industry, even it has vineyards and foxes who want their grapes!!! (some people laugh at this point). But in addition we must change the bosses of consumption of our society, too much inclined to waste. Not only we need to provide The People by means of the economic growth that, let's be sincere, cannot be maintained indefinitely in a planet with limited resources. We need to start building the foundations of a new model of growth; we need to learn how to get fishes without exhausting the fishing-grounds.  I know that this is a very ambitious goal, and I can't make you easy promises about a Happy Arcadia. All I can say is if I'm elected I'll try to fight to put the South forward in the right direction, with the collaboration of the other legislators.

Now that we are talking about catching fishes, I think that the best way of learning is promoting education. I'll try to promote a bilingual education system for the South for two reasons: 1) We have a large amount of people who has Spanish as mother tongue and this is the language spoken in our neighbouring countries. It would be desirable promoting French as well, and I don't want to forget the need to protect the Louisiana Creole French.  2) One of the failures of our education system is the average low knowledge in foreign languages. In a globalized world, this is a serious handicap.

I don't want to bore all of you with too long speeches. I just want to call on all the citizens of the South, regardless of political faiths: Let's build a New South, together we can achieve it!

[Velasco]

Ben Kenobi's obsession with Seatown and the foxes inspired me this environmentalist propaganda:



Stop the witch fox hunting! Keep the environment safe and clean! Viva La Fontaine (and Aesop)! Death to the barbarians who don't love the adorable vulpes, Reynards and Charlies!

Also, this nice song entitled Reynard the Fox by Julian Cope is dedicated to our fellow citizen Seatown:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAZYCSwBkxI

[Adam Griffin]

I love the style and attention to which you've applied to your campaign. Hopefully the citizens of the South will see the benefit in electing you.

[Velasco]

Press conference in Memphis, Tennessee:

I announce my endorsement for the following candidates in the At-Large Senate Election: Barnes and Snowstalker from the Labor Party; Mr. X from the Liberal Party and Kalwejt from the John Engle Party. I wish all the best for them, elected or not

Also, I support Mr. Bacon Kingman in the Ben-Kenobi's recall election. I wish the best for both litigants as well, but in my opinion the first could be a great legislator. He knows how to make lawsuits and he doesn't want to secede Georgia from the Old Dirty South. That's enough for me.

On the other hand I feel extremely happy because the Memphis-based basketball team is doing a great job. Go, Marc Gasol! My only objection is that odd name: I never noticed Grizzlies living down here. From the city of Elvis and Sun Records I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy Mayan End of the World.

 

[John Dibble]

Mr. Velasco, what will you do to further the cause of evil in the region?

[Velasco]

I admit that it's a task beyond my limited capacities, so I would ask for help to La Bruja Avería (the Bewitching Breakdown), which motto is:  Viva Evil!  Viva the Capital! She's an anti-Marxist witch who likes to break televisions and any thing containing electronic elements.



Also, I'd ask El Vez, the greatest Elvis impersonator alive, for further assistance. I believe in the teamwork. Have I answered the question to your satisfaction, your honor?

[John Dibble]

Very impressive, I have much to consider.

[Velasco]

Leaving aside the holy cause of Evil, I'd like to state that I support the Blue Law Cessation and Alcohol Standarization Act which is currently debated. Also, in the case of being elected,  I will try, together with the legislator Zanas and the rest of the chamber, to continue Adam Griffin's great legislative labor as far as possible. I greet the arrival of a new contender to this election and announce that  I will place Jerry of Arkansas as third preference in the ballot.

Edit: I didn't realize that Bacon King will be running; he will receive my second preference and Jerry the third. I'm glad to see a competitive race.

By the way:

[Velasco]

December 16, 2012. Yoknapatawpha County, Mississippi:

Southerners, for the first time in a lot of time we will have a really competitive electoral contest. It's a great news for several reasons. Under my point of view, certain persons - specially inside the Federalist Party - have a trend to identify our darling South with certain ideological views. On the other hand, from their proclamations I can hardly manage to see what's this southern identity that they constantly invoke. Whatever this identity means and whichever elements are involved in its composition, it's based in feelings deeply anchored in our hearts. I can breathe it here, in the land of Faulkner. I'm not sure about what's the meaning of this but I am sure about one thing: our identity is not a heritage of anybody. The fact that there are four candidates with different visions, reflects the diversity and the dynamism of our region, which nevermore will be the monopoly of certain ways of thinking. Let's embrace the pluralism, let's open our hearts and souls to other visions of the world and let's exercise our right to choose in freedom.  Whatever your choice will be, the South will be always the South; charming as ever, but definitely richer. As I've been saying in Memphis and New Orleans, together we can build a New South, without narrow partisan quarrels, banishing conspiratorial theories that are undoubtedly entertaining for people fond of the political intrigue, but can turn out to be an obstacle for the advance of our region. Let's build a New South, dear fellow citizens, and let's use the common sense!

[Associate Justice PiT]

     I love the Faulkner reference.

[Velasco]

I've read two Faulkner's books some years ago -I was still in the High School, I think-. Maybe it will be time to retake him soon.