Is monogamy becoming an underrated value in our society?

[Torie]

One should worry about getting one's own life in order, rather than worry about the private lives of others. Anyway, different strokes for different folks. We are all wired differently. The one big advantage of monogamy, is that it makes matters a lot more convenient - at least until matters go bad, and then it can be hell. Hunting around for sex is very time consuming. But if you find the right person, that is better than winning the lottery really - at least for most people.

[Torie]

Hunting around for sex is very time consuming.

This is yet another of the many excellent arguments for a strong, thriving and legal prostitution industry.

Indeed.  I'm in your corner by and large on this one opebo. The US has far more pressing problems than who is f'ing whom when and how and under what circumstances. Anyway, I don't care what others think on this matter. I don't need their help in managing my sex life, or any other aspect of my life. They should be tending to their own garden.

[Torie]

Of course Nathan need not respond, but I don't think he is ashamed of his identity in the least (which not doubt is far more complex than the cartoonish image painted here), and is more than able to handle this. Why should he?  Gandhi didn't have sex either. His life still had meaning and fulfillment now didn't it? Heck I don't respond to all of opebo's inquiries about my sex life either, just more than most other forumites (hi Grumps!) would like.

[Torie]

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In a curious way, we have much in common, opebo, including a disdain for convention. We revel in doing our own thing, and take some risks doing so. But on this we are polar opposites. I found paid employment ennobling, not degrading. I still remember the excitement of my first job working in a record store for the summer while in high school. I felt independence, I felt like a man, I felt like I was growing up. I hated the condition of dependency, and wanted out of it as soon as possible. And I don't consider answering to a boss as being "humiliating." In general I have always respected my bosses. If I didn't, I decamped. And then about your age, I become "The Man," with just the right two partners, who filled in where I was inadequate, as I filled in where they were (I was the "creative" one, and the quantitative one - so far as that goes in the legal world). We did well. And so it goes.

Sorry to go off topic. I tend to do that. Sorry. But I felt the need to say it. There are a lot of youngs around here, and they deserve more perspectives than just yours on this one. It's important - at least to me.

[Torie]

Nice post Velasco. Nice to meet you.

[Torie]

I wonder how people would respond to a similar argument about gay teenagers. "They're too young to know that they're gay for sure, most of them haven't had sex with anyone of any gender, a lot of it is driven by a natural teenage awkwardness and embarrassment around the other sex leading these kids to think they're gay, they should at least try being in a heterosexual relationship first, etc". My guess is that it wouldn't be taken so well.  

Where in my post is there any indication of generalization? It's very specifically and carefully based on an individual basis. Not to mention that your post supports my point that sexuality is natural by bringing up sexual orientation being known early. Thanks for portraying me as a bigot anyway though.

I was not sure entirely of my sexuality until I was age 59.    So you put sex aside, and still make life go on. Otherwise, why bother living at all? And the AIDS thing put everything on hold anyway, until it became something other than a death sentence, meted out in a cruel and unusual way. We all have our crosses to bear, no matter what our station in life. You all will learn that in time, to the extent you don't already know - up close and personal. Life is a challenge, just like playing football.

The oddest thing of all, is that I think I am rather a normal guy at bottom. Go figure! 

[Torie]

I was not sure entirely of my sexuality until I was age 59. The oddest thing of all, is that I think I am rather a normal guy

I have to say, that doesn't sound very normal... to be in the dark so long about that.  But perhaps I'm wrong.  I don't have a window into the 'mind of the elderly gay'.

at bottom. Go figure!  

Ah, well, that's good to know, I always wondered!

I was wondering if you were going to harvest that ripe low hanging fruit that I deliberately left there for you.

[Torie]

Now Torie just needs to swap his body for a small Asian female.

You thing opebo is into doing the bourgeoise, particularly the pushy, opinionated kind? 

[Torie]

The men were obsequious, the women not in my experience, when I was in your fair land.

[Torie]

opie, bless him, is a broken record ...

I am just so flattered that he has such a consuming interest in one particular old man's sex life. I don't get such strokes just anywhere you know.