Is monogamy becoming an underrated value in our society?

[Napoleon]

I believe in monogamy and favor it for my relationships. But I voted no, because I don't think monogamy should be considered superior to any other form of relationship. Monogamy is a preference, not a value imo.

[Napoleon]

I believe in monogamy and favor it for my relationships. But I voted no, because I don't think monogamy should be considered superior to any other form of relationship. Monogamy is a preference, not a value imo.

Something does not compute.

To be fair, our culture has changed towards favoring serial monogamy instead of life-long monogamy.

Ok. Monogamy in the modern context is what I was referring to. I don't mind open relationships but I lose interest quickly that way. The idea of having only one partner for a lifetime is out of the question.

[Napoleon]

I believe in monogamy and favor it for my relationships. But I voted no, because I don't think monogamy should be considered superior to any other form of relationship. Monogamy is a preference, not a value imo.

Something does not compute.

To be fair, our culture has changed towards favoring serial monogamy instead of life-long monogamy.

Ok. Monogamy in the modern context is what I was referring to. I don't mind open relationships but I lose interest quickly that way. The idea of having only one partner for a lifetime is out of the question.

This would seem to imply that "serial monogamy" only extends the period before one loses interest compared to an open relationship. As someone who just celebrated his 25th anniversary (longer with three years of dating), I found that there have been many ways to maintain interest over a lifetime, but it does take a certain amount of work from both partners. There are benefits for that work, too. I have a wide range of interests and with the stability of a partner to share them, it gives me more freedom to explore new interests outside a relationship.

First, congratulations on your anniversary! Being able to maintain a marriage, a successful career, and still have time here for us is impressive.

I did not mean to imply that I (I can't speak for others here) lose interest in monogamous relationships as easily as I would an open relationship. I totally could see myself staying with only one person for the rest of my life if its the right lady. But to get there, I tend to reject the Christian idealized monogamy- waiting until marriage for sex and remaining married for life. I don't see that as too realistic for a majority of people. I've been in open relationships and like BK, its fun but I tend to lose interest. The connection isn't built the same and it just feels different. There's a certain level of trust, I think, that is built through the dedication a monogamous relationship requires. To that extent, I support serial monogamy but I don't think "serial monogamy" is the end goal, simply a means to a more permanent end.

[Napoleon]

Why is life-long monogamy preferable to short-term monogamy?

Off the top of my head, because succeeding at something, especially something supposedly difficult, for a long time is more impressive than succeeding at it for a short time. There are other, frankly much more important, reasons, too--pertaining to loyalty, stability, continuity, emotional and social discipline, persistence, trust, the need for roots, and so on--but that's the one that's likeliest to amaze one's friends and confound one's enemies.

You're operating under the assumption that monogamy is more difficult than other forms of relationships and I'm not sure that I'd agree with that. One could make an argument that monogamy is actually easier- as you said, trust, stability, etc. all make maintaining a relationship easier in some ways.

[Napoleon]

I would argue monogamy is much easier. You know what to expect, when and how to expect it, and what the outcome might be. When you deal with tons of people, hard telling what you will get. It is far stressful for me to be single than to be in a relationship.

Easiest for me is cooping myself up in my room and only talking to intimate friends and family, so...

[Napoleon]

This thread makes me embarrassed for everyone posting in it. Scott should mercy lock it. Also, how old is Nathan?

I take exception to the implication that it matters.

Why? We've had several teenagers coming around talking about how they've sworn off sex, or they hate it, or it's disgusting without ever having had even a remotely sexual experience. I'm sure there are a couple experienced adults here and there who have legitimate aversions to it for whatever reasons, but around here it tends to be far more related to immaturity, fear, or the all-too-prevalent social dysfunction. So forgive me for wanting to clear that up, but it has everything to do with age.

That's not Nathan. I've not known him to say something he didn't lend much thought to. Being HFA, he may have different interests from you or I but he's certainly mature enough to know what he's saying and, as one of the more introspective posters around here, he's probably thought about it quite a bit. I don't take the stance he does on this but I do understand where he is coming from. I also understand the type of person you are describing but that person would basically be the opposite of Nathan.

[Napoleon]

Sex when you're in love is the best thing. I couldn't imagine anyone not liking it or holding their same asexual views once they experience such a thing.

Well I doubt Nathan would express love through sex and knowing opebo, the only way for him to express love through sex is to masturbate. But generally I agree.

[Napoleon]

I love how Snowy starts with "This thread has a lot of experts about women.  A lot of pontificating and high horsing." and then goes on into a long rant explaining what women supposedly are...

Much of what Snowguy said is right- I don't think he made any unfair or sexist assumptions, instead he provided a general commentary.