...And now Bushie comes out in favor of marriage equality

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

If I told my parents, I would probably be living in exile for a number of years...

Your parents condition their relationship with you on your opinion on a political issue?

Obviously, that's an exaggeration.  The thing is I don't want to let them down.  It took a lot of courage to even tell them I voted for President Obama in 2008 and even more again in 2012.  They are not very receptive to Democratic ideals.  They are dyed-in-the-wool Republicans.  In fact, Mom is still harps at me for voting for Obama in 2012.  They don't bring it up much and are not hostile when they do, but you can tell they don't like Obama.  They didn't like Romney, either, so they don't exactly say I voted "wrong", just probably could have voted Republican.  I still haven't told them I voted for John Kerry in 2004.  They still think I voted for President Bush.  They know I'm a registered Democrat, but that's all they know.  We don't talk politics very often with each other.

You lie to your parents about who you voted for?

I have never told them who I voted for in 2004.  They assume I voted for Bush because that's how I was brought up and who they voted for and that's who I voted for in 2000.

So you've never implied that you voted for Bush?  They just assumed it and you let them keep assuming?  I find that hard to believe, knowing how much you like to share about your activities.  There wasn't even a head nod that implied you had voted for Bush at some point?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It must be asked. When you told them you voted for Obama, did your parents give you a spanking?

[Joe Biden 2020]

If I told my parents, I would probably be living in exile for a number of years...

Your parents condition their relationship with you on your opinion on a political issue?

Obviously, that's an exaggeration.  The thing is I don't want to let them down.  It took a lot of courage to even tell them I voted for President Obama in 2008 and even more again in 2012.  They are not very receptive to Democratic ideals.  They are dyed-in-the-wool Republicans.  In fact, Mom is still harps at me for voting for Obama in 2012.  They don't bring it up much and are not hostile when they do, but you can tell they don't like Obama.  They didn't like Romney, either, so they don't exactly say I voted "wrong", just probably could have voted Republican.  I still haven't told them I voted for John Kerry in 2004.  They still think I voted for President Bush.  They know I'm a registered Democrat, but that's all they know.  We don't talk politics very often with each other.

You lie to your parents about who you voted for?

I have never told them who I voted for in 2004.  They assume I voted for Bush because that's how I was brought up and who they voted for and that's who I voted for in 2000.

So you've never implied that you voted for Bush?  They just assumed it and you let them keep assuming?  I find that hard to believe, knowing how much you like to share about your activities.  There wasn't even a head nod that implied you had voted for Bush at some point?

I think I may have hinted I voted for Kerry, but I never mentioned it outright.  Early on, I may have hinted at Bush because at the time I was glad Bush won.  I had gone through a phase where I was a staunch Republican through the 2004 Primaries, then went Democratic in late 2004/early 2005, then went back to a staunch Republican for the majority of 2005 and the first part of 2006 before changing my political registration formally to the Democratic Party on September 19, 2006.  I have never changed it back, though I did think about it after the 2010 mid-terms.

[Joe Biden 2020]

It must be asked. When you told them you voted for Obama, did your parents give you a spanking?

Haha, no.  They were a little disappointed, but I worked it into the conversation so I had already fertilized the soil and planted the seed before it grew.

[Torie]

I'd highly recommend you not tell your parents or anyone from Church, or they may ship you off to Kenya now instead of having one of "them kind" around.  K? Thx.

I don't dare tell my family.  I haven't even fully come out in support on facebook, yet.  I have plenty of friends on both sides of the issue.

I consider courage the next most important virtue to honesty of all the virtues myself. I can't tolerate dishonesty, and disdain cowardice. However, you don't need to be in their face about, and put down your parents' views on this matter. You can just politely say that yours have evolved. We are all a work in progress during our respective tenures on this mortal coil until we revert to the dust from whence we came.  It's a matter of conscience.  Surely your parents respect one's individual conscience do they not? Or is intolerance the coin of the realm in their world?

I'm sure if it came up in conversation, I would tell them, but we don't talk politics very often.  They know I'm a Democrat and are okay with that and even have defended me on occasion though they are staunch Republicans.  I'm sure it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I were to tell them.  They would be very disappointed in me, but they would learn to accept my decision.  I just will not bring it up out of the blue.

Fair enough. In fact, I agree with that approach myself. There is no need to make a big deal of it. You have plenty of other issues to deal with as it is.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It must be asked. When you told them you voted for Obama, did your parents give you a spanking?

Haha, no.  They were a little disappointed, but I worked it into the conversation so I had already fertilized the soil and planted the seed before it grew.

I like how you plant you seed all over the place.

[Joe Biden 2020]

It must be asked. When you told them you voted for Obama, did your parents give you a spanking?

Haha, no.  They were a little disappointed, but I worked it into the conversation so I had already fertilized the soil and planted the seed before it grew.

I like how you plant you seed all over the place.

I'm a pretty good gardener.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The writers are still deeply engaged in their Spring Meetings, but have sent this press release.  It reads:

"Update Season V has been closed for 6 days.  The writers have been deeply engaged in Spring Meetings trying to come up with new material for Update Season VI.  The writers are also working on a different approach to the new season.  We are still in meetings for a while to come with several different proposals on the table that we are currently hashing out.  While there is no definitive premier date for Season VI, expect Season VI to debut in April or Early May.  The writers are also coming up with a new name for Season VI.  To tide you, our loyal fans, over until the season premier, here is a little "appetizer" so to speak.  The main character in our story, Bushie, is visiting the doctor on Thursday, 28 March 2013 at 13:20 CT.  This is the same appointment that was postponed on Wednesday, 13 March when the doctor called in sick himself.  The main purpose of this appointment for Bushie will be to get new Tourette's medication and go over the lab results in more depth that were taken on Monday, 11 March 2013.  Also in the appointment, our character will be asking about his knees.  Bushie has been having a lot of trouble with his knees in recent weeks.  He knows his weight is not helping, but he reports that his knees are worse when the weather is cold.  He is going to ask the doctor if there is a test for arthritis.  This is just a sneak preview of what is to come in Season VI.  Again, the debut will not happen until sometime this Spring, but this is just to whet your appetite until the season premiers.  We, your writers, wish our loyal fans and critics a wonderful Easter and Play Ball!"

[Eraserhead]

The season premier should garner strong ratings. The last season was extremely dark and interesting (unlike the boring Utah season that preceded it).

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

[Mr. Morden]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

Inks returns to the show as Bushie's nemesis, the tenacious prosecuting attorney!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

Inks returns to the show as Bushie's nemesis, the tenacious prosecuting attorney!

More like a police interrogation.

[Franzl]

I can just imagine Inks waterboarding Bushie.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

Ahh, what would a new season be without interrogators.  Just like old times, eh?!

I'll answer it right now before the season begins.  I was mistaken at the end of Season V when I said I was the sole financial provider.  What I should have said is, other than a roof and five meals a week, I am their sole financial provider as in I provide everything else.  So, I guess you could say with everything factored in together, I am their main financial provider.  My bad for the bad terminology at the end of Season V.  When I said "sole" provider, I wasn't even including the roof and the five meals.  I guess you could say I "unintentionally lied".

Oh, and I've started calling them my sponsor son and sponsor daughter and calling myself their sponsor father.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Weren't you already in favor of gay marriage earlier?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Weren't you already in favor of gay marriage earlier?

Mostly.  I was still warming up to it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

All I want for my birthday is The Update, season 6.

[Joe Biden 2020]

All I want for my birthday is The Update, season 6.

You will have your birthday wish granted, it just may be a little bit before it happens.

[Joe Biden 2020]

All I want for my birthday is The Update, season 6.

Birthday wish granted.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

Ahh, what would a new season be without interrogators.  Just like old times, eh?!

I'll answer it right now before the season begins.  I was mistaken at the end of Season V when I said I was the sole financial provider.  What I should have said is, other than a roof and five meals a week, I am their sole financial provider as in I provide everything else.  So, I guess you could say with everything factored in together, I am their main financial provider.  My bad for the bad terminology at the end of Season V.  When I said "sole" provider, I wasn't even including the roof and the five meals.  I guess you could say I "unintentionally lied".

Oh, and I've started calling them my sponsor son and sponsor daughter and calling myself their sponsor father.

Well those are certainly steps in the right direction!  As you are not under arrest, you are now free to leave.  Just don't leave town, in case we need to talk to you again.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

 Placeholder

[Joe Biden 2020]

Placeholder

The Update Thread is open, but nobody has touched it.  I've even got a new plot line.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Well, when season VI opens up, I hope you'll be ready to explain to me just how exactly you think you can call yourself the sole financial provider to the 2 kids in Kenya.  No... a week off from Update hasn't made me forget, and if you think that a week of closing the thread is going to get you off of yet another lie, you're sadly mistakened.

Ahh, what would a new season be without interrogators.  Just like old times, eh?!

I'll answer it right now before the season begins.  I was mistaken at the end of Season V when I said I was the sole financial provider.  What I should have said is, other than a roof and five meals a week, I am their sole financial provider as in I provide everything else.  So, I guess you could say with everything factored in together, I am their main financial provider.  My bad for the bad terminology at the end of Season V.  When I said "sole" provider, I wasn't even including the roof and the five meals.  I guess you could say I "unintentionally lied".

Oh, and I've started calling them my sponsor son and sponsor daughter and calling myself their sponsor father.

Well those are certainly steps in the right direction!  As you are not under arrest, you are now free to leave.  Just don't leave town, in case we need to talk to you again.

Alright, I'll stay in town for another 2,000 hours and then I'll flee the country!

[WalterMitty]

If I told my parents, I would probably be living in exile for a number of years...

your parents would kick you out for supporting basic human equality?  wow.  just wow.

what would happen if you told your parents you dont believe the wife has to answer to the husband?  or that you think it is okay if a man grows his hair long? 

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Bushie is just copying Mark Begich.

Though such stance may earn him a lethal injection in Oklahoma.