Greece 2012Before 2009 or something, Greece was like this:
Greeks were chill and stuff:
Politics were simple. You had ND and PASOK (of which I am the sole legitimate leader, see
HERE). The differences between both were HUGE. Earth shattering.
ND:
PASOK:
Then the economy went like:
Greeks were like
And the rest of the world said:
Austerity was a great success. Oh wait.
Unfortunately it was time for another election. ND and PASOK's campaign was awful. Summarized:
Everybody started loving old parties run by cranks or crazies or new parties run by cranks or crazies. This included the old KKE (Stalinist crazies)...
... SYRIZA, which quickly became the True Leftist party of choice because ZOMGZ MERKEL NAZIS or ZOMGZ AUSTERITY or ZOMGZ TSIPRAS IS LIKE NICK CLEGG XCEPT ACTUALLY LEFT-WING or ZOMGZ THE BANKSTERS or ZOMGZ THE NEOLIBERALS!!1111
... ANEL, which quickly became the Paultard/right-wing conspiratards party of choice because ZOMGZ NEW WORLD ORDER
... or, more scarily, 'Golden Dawn' (their actual name being Golden Shower), which were actually Nazis. Like actually facking Nazis. Like people who actually jacked off to Hitler
Everybody was like
Except that the election turned out as a massive clusterfark of epic proportions. As for ND and PASOK, the result was clear:
Every other party did well...
even the Nazis.
It was impossible to form a government. Like actually impossible. Merkel and everybody else was like
So... guess what? NEW ELECTION!
This was serious business now though. Basically, according to the austerity masturbators, if ND won the whole world would be saved for nuclear armageddon and we could kill as many poor people as necessary; if SYRIZA won, we were doomed and we might as well commit mass suicide since it was all over. ND wanted everyone who didn't want the whole planet to blow up to join them
... and SYRIZA told us not to worry because if you just raised spending, restore to everything to the good old days and yell a bit at Merkel it would all be fine and you wouldn't have to default or leave the Eurozone. Amirite?!
As for the other parties, we stopped caring by now since it was VRY SRS BIZNESS
Except Golden Shower, which, despite being facking Nazis, just keep doing well...
Merkel was planning to do this if SYRIZA won
Election day came and we were all anxious
Finally ND won and got the lolworthy majority bonus. The majority bonus can be explained easily:
PHEW.
We were saved, but all this sh**t still meant that you still needed austerity and that it would require killing poor people again
In the meantime, Golden Shower had done very well again and all this sh**t meant that it will keep doing better as time goes by...
So we got some ND-PASOK-DIMAR (useless Moderate Hero thing) government.
I wish to use this platform to reiterate that I am the sole legitimate leader of PASOK, and that what is rightfully mine was taken from me by George Papandreou and some fat dude who should lay off the KFC because seriously.
--PASOK Leader Hashemite