Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Joe Biden 2020]

My new theory is that Blondie doesn't actually exist.  Bushie just invented him/her in order to add some spice to Update before his trip to Kenya.  But he keeps forgetting whether this figment of his imagination is supposed to be male or female, sort of like Data's cat Spot on Star Trek: TNG.

Theories can be wrong.  In this case, this theory is entirely wrong.

[memphis]

Are you going to tell your dad you want to live full time in Kenya within the next year to year and a half?

Is the dog ok?

I'll tell him when I get home.  The old man needs time to get used to the idea, as well.

He just sent me a picture of JJ, so she's okay. We found out she squats instead of lifts a leg, so she's a girl.

How's the female dog that you guys have for some reason named Jeff Junior doing?

J.J. is growing like a weed.  He's as active as ever and he does come inside during the hottest of temperatures.  We are taking him to the vet tomorrow at 1630.  They wanted to wait until I got home to help them.

I am really confused. 

Perhaps the first question to ask the vet: In your expert medical opinion, does this dog have a penis?

Whoops, all that should say "she."  We'll find out for sure from the vet tomorrow.

WTF?  How poor is the sex education education in Oklahoma?

And you say that you guys have actually owned dogs before?

She's a girl because of the squatting.

That's not what makes a dog female.

[Mr. Morden]

Seriously, I have no idea why this forum can't seem to take a joke or always has to attack every slip of the tongue.  It seems this forum doesn't recognize that I am a flawed human, not a perfect robot.  Or, they go to the other extreme that I'm a flawed human with no redeemable traits.  Every minor thing gets blown out of proportion.  I'm just as bad at that, too, but why do we have to make mountains out of every mole hill?

Look, Bushie, I'm not trying to attack you.  It's just that I honestly didn't understand how someone can be confused about such a thing.  Since usually, in my experience, if one actually owns a dog, it doesn't take one long to notice whether or not it has a penis.  I was honestly confused about how someone could be confused about that.  And then you mixed up the sex again three times in your post with male pronouns.  That was just a "slip of the tongue" (or rather, "slip of the fingers")?  OK, that's fine.  I'm not going to attack you over that.  It just seems alien to me how the sex of a dog that you own could be that confusing.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I know you're not trying to attack me, Morden, but in many instances a minor slip up gets magnified.  Perhaps, I'm too sensitive.  We have not seen a penis on the dog, and JJ squats, therefore we conclude JJ is a girl.  The vet will tell us definitively tomorrow.  We have owned dogs before, but the last puppy was 1994, 19 years ago.  I just had a memory lapse/tongue slip.  I was typing faster than my brain could keep up.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's not that hard to see a penis on a dog, and usually female dogs also have nipples along their stomach. This isn't rocket science. If you haven't seen a penis and you've actually checked, then it's a girl. If you aren't looking because you're so ashamed of sex that you won't, shame on you!

[Mr. Morden]

It's not that hard to see a penis on a dog, and usually female dogs also have nipples along their stomach. This isn't rocket science. If you haven't seen a penis and you've actually checked, then it's a girl. If you aren't looking because you're so ashamed of sex that you won't, shame on you!

It seems odd that not just Bushie, but his parents too, would remain uncertain.  I mean, again, Bushie, I'm not trying to "attack" you on this, I just find the whole situation surreal.

Bushie, does your Mom ever play with the dog, or walk her?  You mentioned that your Dad did, and he sent you the picture, but what about your Mom?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Mom goes out every now and then, but mostly she tends to the cat.

[Fritz]

Here you go, Bushie- the answer to your prayers!

http://www.lipozene.com/

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie. Does the dog or does the dog not have a penis? Does the dog or does the dog not have rows of nipples along the underbelly? There is no reason why you or anybody should need a vet to figure this out unless there is something very odd indeed about this dog.

[opebo]

Bushie I suggest a small electric fan - set it to play over your immensity during slumber, and you'll be less disturbed by overheating.

[Adam Griffin]

Jesus, you can find out in like 5 seconds by clicking here or here . Obviously, they have internet in OK.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Are you going to tell your dad you want to live full time in Kenya within the next year to year and a half?

Is the dog ok?

I'll tell him when I get home.  The old man needs time to get used to the idea, as well.

He just sent me a picture of JJ, so she's okay. We found out she squats instead of lifts a leg, so she's a girl.

How's the female dog that you guys have for some reason named Jeff Junior doing?

J.J. is growing like a weed.  He's as active as ever and he does come inside during the hottest of temperatures.  We are taking him to the vet tomorrow at 1630.  They wanted to wait until I got home to help them.

I am really confused. 

Perhaps the first question to ask the vet: In your expert medical opinion, does this dog have a penis?

Whoops, all that should say "she."  We'll find out for sure from the vet tomorrow.

WTF?  How poor is the sex education education in Oklahoma?

And you say that you guys have actually owned dogs before?

She's a girl because of the squatting.

WRONG!  As I already said, that's incorrect.  Plus, if that was true, you wouldn't need a vet to tell you that it's a girl.

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Because at this point in your life, you've had enough "mole hills" that if you added them all together, you'd end up with a mountain.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Bushie. Does the dog or does the dog not have a penis? Does the dog or does the dog not have rows of nipples along the underbelly? There is no reason why you or anybody should need a vet to figure this out unless there is something very odd indeed about this dog.

I have nipples, Nathan.  Could you milk me?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

My friend just got a puppy and it's a boy that squats when he pees, so yeah, squatting doesn't mean everything. I really don't understand why you all can't just look under JJ and figure it out yourselves. I would be embarrassed to ask a vet such a basic question.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

This uncertainty surrounding the sex of JJ makes me wonder... Was "Susan" really a woman?

http://youtu.be/08GFjxnDX_A

[WalterMitty]

is it the fundamentalist religion that makes the bushie clan embarrassed to check the sex of the dog?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

It's not that f'ing hard!!!

Either all of the business is directly under the tail, or there's things under the pelvis...

[Joe Biden 2020]

Guys, calm down.  There are way bigger fish to fry than what sex JJ is.  There is absolutely no need to beat me up over something so trivial.

[WalterMitty]

and bushie...whatever sex jj is...please get it fixed!  no f'ing excuse not to.

and you never answered my question...does jj stand for jeff jr?

[memphis]

and bushie...whatever sex jj is...please get it fixed!  no f'ing excuse not to.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
That one is extremely important. Especially is he/she is going to be spending time outside.
The number of perfectly healthy dogs that have to be euthanized just because of overpopulation is out of control!

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Guys, calm down.  There are way bigger fish to fry than what sex JJ is.  There is absolutely no need to beat me up over something so trivial.

It's not trivial...

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Another benefit from the trip is I lost 7.5 pounds while I was gone.  I had resurfaced to 268.5 before I left, but now I'm down to 261.0. 

I'm sorry, Bushie. I just saw your last set of fb pics.  You're easily 285+, probaby the +.

[Paul Kemp]

Another benefit from the trip is I lost 7.5 pounds while I was gone.  I had resurfaced to 268.5 before I left, but now I'm down to 261.0.

I'm sorry, Bushie. I just saw your last set of fb pics.  You're easily 285+, probaby the +.

I really don't know why he keeps wearing horizontal stripes.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Another benefit from the trip is I lost 7.5 pounds while I was gone.  I had resurfaced to 268.5 before I left, but now I'm down to 261.0.

I'm sorry, Bushie. I just saw your last set of fb pics.  You're easily 285+, probaby the +.

I really don't know why he keeps wearing horizontal stripes.

He doesn't even know why you said this........clueless.

[opebo]

Bushie, what Paul Kemp and Gramps are getting at is that black is slimming: