Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Mr. Morden]

Folks, I have just been in deep prayer and convicted by my God of not living up to my fatherly duties as the spiritual head of the household though we are 8,500 miles apart.  I have also been convicted of not being focused on God's Kingdom, rather trying to build Jeff's kingdom.  I need to spend more time with my God praying daily for my children.  I am also going to start tapering my use of the forum.  I'm going to try eventually break away from the forum entirely.  The Update will be the first to slow down. Then the rest of the forum will taper.

I suggest spamming the forum with hardcore pornography, so you'll be banned.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Actually, Duke, on the adoption I talked to a German mother who was here and adopted a young Kenyan boy.  She said singles can definitely adopt and the residency requirement is 6 months and 6,000 Euros which is $7,500 or so per child.  She herself was married, but other friends of hers that are single have adopted from Kenya.  That throws everything we thought about Kenyan law on its head.  The biggest barrier now is financial.  $15,000 for two kids is a cheap investment.

Morden, I try to retain some integrity as I start tapering down.

Grumps, I can pray DURING work/school, too.  Praying is not always on your knees.  Many people pray while driving, yet they don't close their eyes for obvious reasons.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

You'll also need at least $15,000/year to take care of them. 

Have you ever had any kids under your care for an extended period of time, Bushie?

[Mr. Morden]

You'll also need at least $15,000/year to take care of them.

Not if they're living in Kenya!

[Lief 🗽]

Is that 6000 euro yearly income? Or a lump sum you pay the government? Or what?

[Mr. Morden]

She said singles can definitely adopt and the residency requirement is 6 months and 6,000 Euros which is $7,500 or so per child.

What do you mean by residency requirement?  You have to live in Kenya for six months?  So foreigners living outside the country can't adopt?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I thought we established that single MALES couldn't adopt children? Last I check, bushie, you weren't a German mother.

Yes, I was right. It says single females may adopt under special circumstances, but single males may not adopt. We had this conversation a year ago. Let's not waste time arguing it again. Nothing was thrown on its head. The law is clear.

http://adopt.com/kenya/index.html

[they don't love you like i love you]

Aside from that where's Bushie going to get $15,000 from? The guy hasn't proven himself capable of saving $150, much less that, and isn't going to have much odds even if all his other expenses went away with his track record of holding down jobs. And even if Kenya allowed single males to adopt children I doubt they'd approve anyone with his qualifications, as he's close to the least qualified person imaginable.

[memphis]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

[they don't love you like i love you]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's almost like he's simply put up a wall where he refuses to listen any of the facts when it comes to these kids. He can't adopt them without a wife, and he must be married for 3 years. Period. End of story.

[Lief 🗽]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

Meh, he's obviously profoundly lonely and for a number of reasons wants to have his own family. It's not completely incomprehensible. Plus, basically everyone in his life is enabling this fantasy (his grandmother, the people at church, obviously the people at the orphanage so they can squeeze him for more money).

[they don't love you like i love you]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

Meh, he's obviously profoundly lonely and for a number of reasons wants to have his own family. It's not completely incomprehensible. Plus, basically everyone in his life is enabling this fantasy (his grandmother, the people at church, obviously the people at the orphanage so they can squeeze him for more money).

That might be comprehensible, but to call yourself a father on the grounds that you give someone $35 a month is pretty laughable. It goes beyond absurd if it's not even you giving them the money.

[Mr. Morden]

It's almost like he's simply put up a wall where he refuses to listen any of the facts when it comes to these kids. He can't adopt them without a wife, and he must be married for 3 years. Period. End of story.

He has to be married for 3 years before he can adopt there?  Hmmm....how old are these kids again?  If he doesn't get married by the time they turn 15, then he can't adopt them before they're legally adults anyway.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

The whole situation is absurd and also illustrates just how lonely Bushie is. I mean, it's as clear as day that he will never be able to adopt these kids, yet he refuses to face reality.

Let's say that, for a second, single males could adopt. Do you honestly think that even if granny fronted him the $15,000 that they would deem fit to adopt? With no job, a poor work history, no income to speak of?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's almost like he's simply put up a wall where he refuses to listen any of the facts when it comes to these kids. He can't adopt them without a wife, and he must be married for 3 years. Period. End of story.

He has to be married for 3 years before he can adopt there?  Hmmm....how old are these kids again?  If he doesn't get married by the time they turn 15, then he can't adopt them before they're legally adults anyway.

Married at least 3 years: http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=kenya

[Mr. Morden]

Let's say that, for a second, single males could adopt. Do you honestly think that even if granny fronted him the $15,000 that they would deem fit to adopt? With no job, a poor work history, no income to speak of?

If he were adopting in the USA, obviously they'd turn him down.  In Kenya, I have no idea what kind of standards they have.  They may well figure that any kid growing up in a first world country is going to have enough opportunities to make up for being adopted from the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder in said first world country.

Also, if he did adopt them and they moved to OK, I assume they'd get free Indian health care, even though they wouldn't be Native American by blood, only by adoption? 

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeff, you have no business adopting a child.  I'm sorry, but that's the truth.  You have no money.  Kids cost a lot of money.  Try saving $15,000 a year, get in shape, hold a job for at least a year, and then MAYBE you could THINK about adopting.  Until you can do those three things, you have no business even thinking about adoption.  You can't go 2 days in a row walking or go a few days without fast food.  Habits like that aren't healthy for kids.

[Lief 🗽]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

Meh, he's obviously profoundly lonely and for a number of reasons wants to have his own family. It's not completely incomprehensible. Plus, basically everyone in his life is enabling this fantasy (his grandmother, the people at church, obviously the people at the orphanage so they can squeeze him for more money).

That might be comprehensible, but to call yourself a father on the grounds that you give someone $35 a month is pretty laughable. It goes beyond absurd if it's not even you giving them the money.

It's absurd, but it's basically the only thing he has in life.

[Eraserhead]

This isn't going to end well, is it?

[politicus]

The best course of action if he wanted to do something for impoverished Kenyan children:

1. Get the CAD
2. Get some work experience in the US (1 year minimum)
3. Move to Kenya and secure a job (shouldn't be impossible in a booming economy)
4. Marry a Kenyan single mother - plenty of widows/abandoned women with kids around.

Of course he may not like being a mealticket in such a direct way, but Kenya has plenty of devout Christian widows with children, so he should be able to meet a person where they a least had religion in common. http://mingle2.com/online-dating/zacatecas/nairobi-kenya/christian-dating

Just me fantasizing about a happy ending...

But yeah, Jeff's communication with God seems to be a problem. He uses those prayer sessions with the big man above to get an excuse for doing the easy thing. If you are a believer prayer is a powerful tool whether its used right or wrong. I think his church is letting him down not talking to him about this, but then again maybe someone does and he just ignores it.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

He needs to realize that not everything that happens is a direct influence of God.

It reminds me of Nik Wallenda's prayers during his wire walk every time he'd thank God for calming the wind and ask God to continue to calm it... sorry dude, but I don't believe that God is going to use his power to intervene in the wind across the canyon just so that you can do something that you probably shouldn't be doing in the first place.

[Eraserhead]

Would Jeff marry a black woman?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Would Jeff marry a black woman?

No.

[Mr. Morden]

Folks, I have just been in deep prayer and convicted by my God of not living up to my fatherly duties as the spiritual head of the household though we are 8,500 miles apart.

Why are you still calling yourself their father?  I thought you'd given that up.

And what makes you the spiritual head of household?  I thought they were being raised by their grandmother.