Update for Everyone II - Less Boring, More Whoring

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

My sympathies to you, TiK.  Your story brings me back to when my last dog was in her last days.  It's never easy to lose a pet, especially one you've known for a really long time.  Pets take a piece of you when they pass on, and all you can do is let time heal and wait for the beginning of a new chapter in your life.


So, I didn't know where else to rant about this.  It's not something I talk about much at all, even to my own mother, but I guess I'll vent my emotions here... though I don't expect anyone here to completely understand.  But here it goes.

Shortly before my dad passed away, I had planned on going to a certain community college near my area here in CT.  Long story short: my mom and I have been left with a multitude of financial problems and we have to move by next spring or else we'll be foreclosed on.  So obviously, I'm not going to the community college in CT that I had planned on going to, and I have to find a college in another state.

And I'm okay with that (I was never all that interested in the community college in the first place!), but I've been trying to occupy myself now that I'm out of high school, and I'm stuck.  Even though I'm an active member of my church now (I go there at least three times a week for one reason or another), I feel totally discombobulated and aimless.  I tried starting my own blog to write on religious issues, which I am passionate about, but my plans for a routinely updated journal fell completely apart.  Why?  One, because my knowledge on theology is basically s**t even though I've been studying it for a few years.  And two, because I suck at conveying my thoughts on topics that I have mere layman's knowledge on.  There are people my age who have accomplished way more in life than I have, and it bothers me.

I've tried writing a book on religion a number of times as a way of expressing my passion for it, but I can't even put together a decent outline.  The more I realize how ignorant I am on these issues, the more discouraged I am to actually write it... at least before college.  So now I'm kind of stuck.  Should I try writing the thing and risk sounding like an idiot pretending to know more than I do, or should I continue lolling about and not even think about it until I graduate from college?  I feel like I'll be unsatisfied no matter what I do.

So basically, I'm tired of being upset with everything, and I'm mad at myself for not knowing how to change it.  I know most people here aren't religious and probably can't even remotely to relate to this kind of problem, but that's pretty much where I'm at right now.  And frankly, it sucks.

I'm not fishing for compliments or pity parties or anything... I just felt the need to get it all out there.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

That is very good advice.  Like I said, I've already taken to writing things down (mostly outlines), and I'm sure what I've written will be useful in the future, but I think I'll hold off on writing publishable books and things like that until I'm at least somewhat comfortable with what I know on the subject.  I'll have plenty of time to organize my thoughts in college, anyway.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Don't go to law school unless you hate your life.

Also, I have started talking to a greek girl.... someone talk me out of this. I know better.

Reminds me of something my cousin said about going into law: "You'll make all the money you'll need, but don't do it."  Is working toward a legal career really that dull?

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Today my path to the ministry has become much clearer... I have been informed that I was accepted into Piedmont College in Demorest, GA, and am eligible for a very generous grant if my pastor writes a letter stating that I'm in good standing with my church.   Now if Catawba College accepts me, I will get to decide which of them I want to attend in the spring semester.  I am so filled with excitement right now I don't know how to express it.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

There's a chance I'll be attending college next fall, instead.

I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

There's a chance I'll be attending college next fall, instead.

I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands.

What's your job situation? While working may suck, especially at the level someone such as ourselves might get, it's the best way to occupy yourself and to make money to fund your gas and food. Also, have you considered community college to get rid of some prerequisites?

I'm looking into a job as a transcriber.  Pay's decent, and it's a job I could do really well.  Trust me.  I want to do more than just post on message boards and read Christian history books over the next ten months.

And yes, community college is on the table.  Right now, my mom and I have to deal with a bunch of things, many of which are personal/family matters.  We just might not be able to cram college visits and such with everything else.  If my dad were still here, it'd be a completely different story.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I think I'm gonna grow a beard.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

My beard is taking too long to grow.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

It snowed then rained then froze yesterday. My driveway is a sheet of ice.

Same here, minus the driveway.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Question for my fellow beardmen: is it normal for large patches of one's chin area to be completely bare while everything else grows at roughly the same rate?

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

My diminishing reservoirs of moral patience, to which Atlas Forum has been subjected for by my count about a year, are starting to diminish in my offline life as well, and I'm actually beginning to be seriously concerned about my ability to maintain some of my friendships. I feel profoundly guilty and I'm scared.

What's making you think that, Nathan?  Is anything bugging you in particular?

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Yesterday evening I came out to my brother. It went pretty well, so today I worked up the courage to tell my parents, my father specifically. It didn't go over as well - he promised that he loves me more than ever, but is convinced I can be fixed. I'm really doubting a lot right now...I don't know what I'm going to do.

You're not the only one to deal with problems like that.  The important thing is that he loves you and accepts you.  The rest will be worked out in time.  I promise.  You will be in my prayers tonight.  We're all rooting for you.

You know where to reach me if you want to talk about this.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Thank you to those who left kind words - I greatly appreciate it.

I encourage anyone of faith to pass a prayer my way whenever you think of it - I'm dealing with multiple internal and external struggles. My Atlas activity will be extremely limited for as long as needed.

Of course I will continue praying for you.  I'll even ask my pastor to put in a good word for you next week.  But please, talk to me if you have any questions or need help reconciling things with God.  You know where to reach me, and I'm usually free to talk whenever.

I'm gonna bug you in a few days if you don't say anything just so I know how you're doing.  Do NOT hesitate to talk to me if you need guidance, spiritual or otherwise.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I'm trying to upload a picture to the College Board to register for the SAT, and it simply. will. not. work.

Its frustrating me

The College Board is one of the least user-friendly sites I've ever been forced to use.  Don't worry.

I'm officially on the Nan Rich campaign

Congratulations!

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I met a girl online today who said she really likes mountains.  Do you think it would impress her if I told her I pioneered legislation that banned mountaintop removal mining in Atlasia?

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I was serious about the girl; I wasn't serious about my 'idea.'

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Today I applied for what I hope will be my first paying job.  Basically, the company lets people submit audio clips, videos, documents, and immigration papers, and someone will translate or transcribe the files for a fair price.  Since I don't have any meaningful foreign language skills, I'll have to stick to audio-text conversion.  The working conditions are pretty much all you could ask for from a part-time job: decent pay ($241 per month on average), work from home, and you get to work as much or as little as you'd like and choose the clients you want to transcribe for.  Part of the application process, of course, is submitting a sample transcript of a random audio file they provide you, and you have to write under very specific guidelines, so it's not as easy as it sounds.

Anyway, I think my resume is pretty fresh and I'm pretty confident in my chances here.  I'll hear back from them in three weeks or less.  I'd tell you all the name of the company, but I don't want any employee competition... just yet.

I got my undergraduate diploma in the mail today. Backdated to February 1. So that part of my life is officially over, I suppose.

Glad to hear, Nathan!

Ah, life is good. The modular results for January are in; 97.5 percent in Economics, 87 percent in Philosophy. I repeat, life is good.

Nice.  My high school flirted with the idea of introducing a philosophy class a year or two ago, but that never went into effect, last I heard.  Kind of a shame.  It's a good study if you're into it.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Be careful, Scott. That job listing sounds a lot like a scam.

Fortunately, this one doesn't seem to be.  It's been given mostly positive reviews and was recommended by trusted groups like AARP.  My mom told me about it when she found an ad in a magazine.  There were a few employee complaints, but I think it's worth a shot.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

If anyone starts to wonder, at this point I'm deliberately posting like a dick. For future reference.

I can tell...

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I got the job!!!

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I got the job!!!

Wait, aren't you studying for a degree or something?

I'm not starting college until fall.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Brief update on how the new job's going.  I started work a few days ago in their "Rookie" program, which basically meant that all my work had to be reviewed and marked up before the clients saw it.  I did pretty well save for one project in which I only got 3/5 stars for Accuracy.  Nevertheless, I graduated today and now I get to transcribe bigger projects for more cash.  I've managed to rake in $33 over the last two days.  Now that I'm no longer a Rookie, I won't be checked on constantly, but occasionally my work will be reviewed by someone just for performance sake.

Two downsides.  One is that the reviewers are totally inconsistent in their markups and each apply their own interpretations of the style guidelines, so I'm never guaranteed to submit anything free of error to whoever gets to review it.  Two is that the company isn't qualified to give tax advice, so I'm responsible for reporting all my income in the coming years and determining how much I give to the government.  My mom said she'd help with that.

So yeah, I'm learning a lot.  If anyone's interested, the company is called Rev.  It's great if you want to make extra cash, but the job is a lot harder than it seems.  Just today it took me an hour to record a six-minute interview and now I'm kind of scared to death of losing my job for making honest mistakes, so all I can do is try my best and hope for the best.  I told my mom I'd quit if it turns out to be a bunch of BS.

My sister just got engaged to her boyfriend of 10 years

Congratulations to your sister!

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

So I'm going off to Iowa tomorrow...

Why?

Visiting Grinnell College. Also its rather embarassing to admit, but it'll be the first time I'm out of California...

Look, we know you're thinking about a 2016 run.  You don't have to hide it.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Today I've officially decided to enroll in Catawba College for the class of 2018.

Salisbury, here I come!

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Thanks, guys!

Today I've officially decided to enroll in Catawba College for the class of 2018.

Salisbury, here I come!

Yay!

Are you gonna be in my CD (NC-05)?

Yup!