The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[IceSpear]

A degenerate bourgeois left-liberal capitalist bankster and criminal thug was teaching a class on Hillary Clinton, known neoliberal.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Clinton and accept that she is the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Karl Marx!”

At this moment, a brave, working class sage scholar who had 1500 karma on r/socialism and understood the necessity of dialectical materialism stood up and held up a rock.

“How much is this rock?”

The arrogant bankster smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion dollars, you dirty communist.”

“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 #WomanCrushWednesdays since I found it. If it was 4.6 billion dollars, and capitalism, as you say, is real… then it should be a Porsche now.”

The bankster was visibly shaken, and dropped his hoard of gold and copy of Capitalism and Freedom. He stormed out of the room crying those Goldman Sachs crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Socialist Alternative that day and accepted Marx as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Slobodan Milosevic” flew into the room and perched atop the Burkina Fasoan Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Internationale was read several times, and Marx himself showed up and crushed the neoliberal hegemony throughout the world.

The bankster was arrested for crimes against the proletariat and was shipped off to Serbia the next day. He died in a NATO invasion and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

He who feeds you, controls you

Came here to post that

[IceSpear]

You have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry.

Americans voted for higher minimum wage, marijuana legalization, expanded access to abortion, gay marriage and the Republican Party.

[IceSpear]

Not to be confused with the approval-disapproval ratings from YouGov. The electorate of 2014 would have voted for Mussolini if given the chance.

I seriously doubt that as the electorate of 2014 would probably vote against Mussolini if they knew he supported publicly run trains.

[IceSpear]

Most third world failed states at least have an excuse. What is Oklahoma's?

[IceSpear]

Kasich sounds vaguely sane sometimes. Maybe he'd do as well as Huntsman.

[IceSpear]

How many of you have ever had 2 bowls of cereal in one sitting? I can't say I ever have.

That's normal for me, especially if the bowl is small.  Occasionally, I'll pour a third bowl if I'm really hungry.  I remember as an elementary-school kid I downed 8 bowls of cereal in one sitting.  That's my record and something I cannot do anymore due to my lactose semi-intolerance.

And Mama Bushie probably gleefully poured you more Count Chocula and dismissed any criticism with, "He's a growin' boy!"

[IceSpear]

creds to oakvale

Wow, guys, I did not ask to be lambasted while I was gone to the porsche club.  You think I'm hopeless.  You all, except for Kshama Sawant, are hopeless for pointing fingers and viciously assassinating my character.  You'd think I'd learn and stop saging.  Let me ask this:  When I cease saging would you please stop assassinating my character and Socialist Alternative's character?  I do not want to hear a single, solitary word more of this elistist, bourgeois, Capitalist, oppressive garbage.

[IceSpear]

Guys, I think OC is malfunctioning.

Obviously, the G O P is worried about OHIO, since he is announcing his plans already.  With Jeb's ridiculous argument about the G O P, today, I am assuming that OHIO is gonna slip back to the Dems in 2016 and eventually in 2018, when Sherrod Brown is up and Kasich is term limited out.

Hillary is already leading in this state, and this along with VA may not be winnable for the G O P, this time around either.

RIP Jeb in OH.

[IceSpear]

In a sense, Rubio was the party's rebound fling after getting dumped in 2012. It was a fun flirtation with diversity but in the end they will go back to their true love (some white guy)

[IceSpear]

Governor: Quinn

Senate: Durbin

Representative: Foster

Attorney General: Madigan

Secretary of State: White

Comptroller: Topinka

Treasurer: Cross

State Rep: Fortner

What's funny about this?

[IceSpear]

It's wonderful to convert innocent Muslim kids to Christianity?

Absolutely.

[IceSpear]

Quoting again for emphasis.

Massive HC. All contraceptives are horrible.

Sexual relations are only acceptable between a married man and woman and for the specific purpose of procreation. Condoms are never necessary in that context. All of the instances where a couple would need them are instances where they shouldn't even be engaging in sexual relations in the first place. If you are not ready to have a child or don't even want one, then you have no business engaging in sexual relations at all; because their entire purpose (or at least their only legitimate purpose) is to bring a child into the world. Condoms encourage sexual immorality.

We need a ban on contraception similar to the one the Republic of Ireland had from 1935 to 1980.

[IceSpear]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=204850.0

[IceSpear]

Any news at all on Democrats not named Hillary Clinton?

Not right now, but here's more news on Hillary Clinton…

[IceSpear]

What's the point? This place has more dudes than retromike's fantasy.

[IceSpear]

I think "Uncertain" would make the best GOP nominee.

[IceSpear]

Libertas is blowing Jesus in heaven. RIP.

^He's having orgies with the angels now.

[IceSpear]

John F. Kennedy - Republican Tea Party (Nixon was the center-left candidate in 1960 and JFK's tax policies were the forerunner to Reganonomics that the Tea Party love)

[IceSpear]

Hillary Clinton is too pure for this cruel world

Finally you've seen the light.

[IceSpear]

ink you should gth youstts.

[IceSpear]

Hi, guys.  I certainly didn't mean to sound the least bit racist or bigoted last night.  Although, bigotry is not necessarily a bad thing, but I digress.  The constant probing questions was getting to me and that no one was accepting my answers and leaving it on the table.  I was just trying to make a statement, yet we got led down the rabbit trail.  I'm certainly not a racist as is no one in Oklahoma.  I am appalled by the recent posts continuing to paint Oklahoma as unwelcoming to blacks and gays.  Everyone knows what was said is not true.  We have a big black population in Oklahoma and they are not discriminated against or targeted.  Gay marriage is legal in Oklahoma and most people I talk to outside my own family are becoming more accepting of the gay community.  We don't have to agree with them, but we accept them for who they are.  Sally Kern doesn't accept them, though, and has made headlines this week with a controversial bill.  I like Sally as a person.  She is a great Christian woman and loves the Lord and loves her family, but her views are too extreme for me.  She is so far to the right that she is not even in the mainstream in Oklahoma.  That takes talent.  Anyway, just had to put that out there.  I am not a racist and neither is my state.

[IceSpear]

Come on man, Hillary is only leading by 0.3 nationwide?

#2008_again

#Malalandslide

#JimWebbAndMalala

#WhereIsSanders

[IceSpear]

LOL to Polls_PuffPass Talk about overconfidence, it's lame & painful. Boy are you for a nasty surprise. One, we Republicans are gonna slam Hillary big time...but guess if she's YOUR! sacrificial lamb, I'm pretty cool with that! By the way, the way I see it, Jeb Bush will do as well or better than his dad. He's not the loon you are praying and hoping for.  Hopefully you won't be so disappointed by the outcome,  that you will be prompted to walk away from David Leip's forum. But hey one has to encounter loss in order to appreciate victory and the laurels the same shall endow.

[IceSpear]

Wealthy condom manufacturer

Context.

[IceSpear]

Right, if you were born in an Abenaki family who worshipped Tabaldak, the creator God of the Algonquian people, you would have become a hipster Christian who was obsessed with Christian post-hardcore music and hated South Park.