The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Lief 🗽]

People who think Courtney murdered Kurt are idiots. Like half his songs were about how much he wanted to kill himself.

but he had plans to go fishing with his uncle!11!!!!

[Lief 🗽]

Also, I find it kind of strange that that particular piece of hyperbole was placed here when we literally have people voting for Hitler over Andrew Cuomo in other threads.

[Lief 🗽]

We generally eat light the night before like Taco Salad

[Lief 🗽]

I would have expected better from a Millennial.

[Lief 🗽]

[Lief 🗽]

context necessary:

[Lief 🗽]

Please don't encourage Oldiesfreak to elaborate on one of his "opinions."

[Lief 🗽]

I kept suffering from a recurring sore throat when I was in high school, but my approval ratings didn't go up.

[Lief 🗽]

May he rot in hell.

e: Goodwill to all men!

[Lief 🗽]

And people say Tweed isn't one of our best posters:

Hang in there H.W., we may need to draft you against the witch in 2016.

if Jeb does get the nomination this GHWB mortality question provides an interesting little sub-plot:

a) first, he must remain alive for another 18 or 19 months, not just as a technically-alive bedridden vegetable, but alive enough to sit in a wheelchair and understand the basic aspects of his surroundings.  those great minds who choreograph the Republican convention can draw up a plan for a brief GHWB cameo. 

first, circulate some rumors about his health.  leak to the press, that GHWB his some good days and bad, but remains sharp as a tack, aware and proud of his son's campaign.  imagine, someone wheeling him out to the convention stage, on  primetime TV.  Barbara should do the wheeling if she can; if not, give the honor to GWB, assuming they can verify that his very image is not as toxic as it was in 2008-2009.

Papa Bush wheels out, the crowd goes wild.  give him a few basic lines.  "I am so Blessed to be here."  (pause, roll a tear down his face).  "God bless you all, and God Bless America."  he waves, remains on stage for another 30-45 seconds, then gets wheeled backstage.

though he's not a venerated figure, not even on the level of what Ted Kennedy was for the Dems in 2008, the play-act is still worth trying.


2) a GHWB death has serious potential as rather perverse "October surprise".  it could be arranged easily enough - I won't give suggestions on how to bring it about, but I'm sure these Royal families can control the contents of a family member's autopsy and death certificate, even if the corpse is leaking arsenic.  have it all go down in Kennebunkport, just to be super-safe.

a state funeral is held just a few weeks before the election, and Jeb is given the honor of eulogizing his father.

an added bonus: the Dems can't go negative for the last few weeks of the campaign, lest they appear callous and insensitive to Jeb's grief.  public hostility towards the Bush family recedes into the background.


oh, Lee Atwater would be salivating over this one!

[Lief 🗽]

this isn't really that funny but it made me laugh for like eleven straight seconds:

I don't plan on playing against any football team this January but will forward this warning along to anyone who is.

[Lief 🗽]

What was your old computer named?

Porn Virus

[Lief 🗽]

he wanted to go there to work with the orphanage spreading Jesus all over them like you spread mayo on a sandwich.

[Lief 🗽]

I highly recommend this book.

mods pls ban

[Lief 🗽]

[Lief 🗽]

Anyway, I was tested at a 142 IQ and spent my entire elementary, middle, and high school careers in gifted and honors programs.

[Lief 🗽]

"Euro Socialism SYRIZAOklahoma"

[Lief 🗽]

Oh my.

What did he do to get banned?

He placed an obscene image in his signature.  It was horrifying.  I was as appalled as everybody else.

hahah bullying is hilarious lol

[Lief 🗽]

What's embarrassing about this thread is that it displays severe ignorance. All of the "jokes" in it are only funny if one is some combination of dumb and sexist. I.e. one thinks, for example, that objecting to sexual harassment means thinking "men can't talk to women". And so on.

A priest and a rabbi would  have no problem walking into a bar together! This is an outrage. Distortion of facts will not be forgotten by The Regime.

[Lief 🗽]

t_host has been ON FIRE

Are you a ghost?

?, not yet.

[Lief 🗽]

Some of the best jokes are indeed not funny at all.

[Lief 🗽]

Posts like that give moderate anti-morman bigots like myself a bad name. Disgusting.

[Lief 🗽]

People sometimes ask me why I consider tmth one of the top 10 all-time Atlas forum blue avatars. And I point them to lol-worthy posts like this one:

With recent events that have happened on this board, along with the news that Governor Romney will not be in the 2016 field, I think it is best that I step away from this forum. Anyone who would like to remain in contact with me is welcome to add me on Facebook.

Signing Off,
Isaac

[Lief 🗽]

https://www.caring.com/articles/signs-of-death

You must be logged in to read this quote.

It appears ODF is well on his journey. RIP.

[Lief 🗽]

i also Dont get why Normally prolife people make Exeptions for Rape and incest i mean my Parents were first Cousins so it was techically Incest and my Father was 28 and My mother was 15 so it was Technicaly rape too and im Perfectly Okay

holy sh[inks]

pbrower sends me a pm out of the blue

rofl