DBC News. Whether we're right or wrong...IT'S NEWS!

[Demrepdan]

DBC Breaking News:

Racker: Hello folks! This is John Racker! *Machine gun fire in the background*....I'm here where the rebels are fighting against the forum! *More machine gun fire*....it's....it's just..havoc....and confusion down here, Bob.

Newton: I can see that, John. Folks, welcome back, this is Bob Newton of DBC News, it appears as if FIRE has broken out at the forum. People are rebelling against the newly placed government...it's just...*John Screams*....just........oh God....John! Are you still there?

Racker: AGGGH!!! MY LEG!! THEY SHOT MY *bleep* LEG!!! YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!

Newton: Oh my God, John! What's going on?!

Racker: They're attacking not only ARMED personnel...but CIVILIANS! These rebels care NOTHING of human life! They don't want to JUST bring down the forum! THEY WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SITE!!!

Newton: Oh my God......ladies and gentleman....I must say...in all my years of public broadcasting....I have never...never.....*starts crying*....Oh God....Oh God please don't make this so!!!

Racker: *fires gun into a rebel crowd* TAKE THAT YOU LOUSY BASTARDS!! NOBODY DOES THIS TO THE FORUM! EEEEEEYAAAAH!!!!!

Newton: *sniff* John? Are you still there? What's going on?

Racker: They might be able to destroy the forum! BUT THEY WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE! *pulls pin on grenade*......AHHHHHH!!!!!!

Newton: John? Can you tell me what's going on....can you....*grenade explodes*....oh......uuhhh.....do we still have contact with John?.....No?......*sigh*......folks....this is a sad day for the forum. I don't know how much longer I have before the rebels invade the DBC network tower.....all I know is that.......*rumbling outside*.......that.......uh oh....that.......*screams are heard outside the room*....I uhh......ohhhh...here they are!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!! *camera shakes and falls over* *live feed cut*................

[Demrepdan]

DBC News Alert......Demrepdan joins the Centrist Part of the Atlas Forum!!!

In other news......this thread had to be dug up and put on top again.....before it was lost....

[Demrepdan]

DBC News Report:

 This just in......some predict that the Y chromosome, which is the chromosome found only in men and is responsible for the male gene, will not exist in the future. Which would result in the X chromosome, the chromosome that is found in all humans and is also responsible for the female gene, to have a majority. Thus resulting in every human on Earth to be female.

Many experiments have been done on mice in which an egg from one mouse is interfused with an egg from another mouse, resulting in a healthy female baby. Therefore, in the future, women could conceivably continue to have children without men, due to medical science. Accordingly, the world would be a planet of women.


In other news......I cut off my penis today...

[Demrepdan]

This just in: DBC News is now the NUMBER ONE News station at the forum! It's only hard competitor is GusNews.....and......some others. But who cares about them.

DunNews as dropped in sale stock....all of their commentators and new broadcasters have been fired......all the way down to every last cameraman right down to the janitor of the DunNews Network Building complex.....tower. So DBC News is CLIMBING TO THE TOP!

For FUN and EXCITING news! Come to DBC NEWS! The fastest news station at the forum. Whether we're right or wrong........IT'S NEWS!

[Demrepdan]

This just in: Demrepdan returns from his short hiatus to his office at the Department of Justice....and continues work at his dusty desk.....no parties were thrown....no one has noticed his departure or return....no one cares....and DBC is the first to report this story.

More to come....after this break...

[Demrepdan]

Hello, this is John Racker with DBC News. I am outside the studio where they film Issues and Answers in an attempt to discover the TRUE indentity...of this..."newsman." We are waiting for him to come out and.......ok...I think here he comes now.....NEWSMAN!.....EXCUSE ME!! NEWSMANS MAN! WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS! *starts chasing newsman* NEWSMAN!!! COME BACK!! damn....we lost him.....did you see his face, Charlie?.....well...next time..we'll get him.... *sigh.....for DBC News....I'm John Racker.

[Demrepdan]

This just in from DBC News......Attorney General Demrepdan is leaving on a trip to Alaska to make speeches about the UAC, the party of which he is a member of. Although the Attorney General has not endorsed a candidate, his speaking tour of Alaska does not necessarily mean he is endorsing Gustaf, so we await the day, if it comes, that he officially endorses a candidate.

When the Attorney General was questioned as to whether or not he will return in time to cast his ballot in the Presidential election....he responded *video footage of Demrepan plays* "Well, the election should occur on the dates of June 18th to the 20th. That is the second to last weekend of the month. And of course, that is what the constitution says. However, I don't know how many people follow it anymore, so it might have been moved for SOME reason, just because someone took it upon themselves to move the date of the election. So to answer your question, yes, I will return in time to cast my vote from my home state in Illinois, assuming all constitutional guidelines are followed. But if the bastards changed the date of the election to suit themselves, then *bleep* them."

As always, the Attorney General gave a very straight forward answer. He then went on to say...

*video footage of Demrepdan plays* "But uhh....yeah....I'll be back in time. However, I'll be back JUST in time. So I hope nothing delays my return home. This makes me think that perhaps the forum should have a Constitutional Amendment allowing for absentee ballots. As it is now, the Constitution states that in all federal elections, the voter must cast their public vote during that time span. So, we'll have to see if absentee ballots can be worked in, because as it is NOW, there really are no loopholes allowing for absentee ballots. So, I look forward to working with the Senate and other leaders in order to get this done."

After his speaking tour, Demrepdan will then have some leisure time in order to enjoy the beauty of Alaska. We'll keep you updated on his trip. Next on DBC News.....Can beans think?.....a new scientific study shows that....no they can not.....

(P.S..I actually AM going to Alaska....this news story is not ENTIRELY false. However, I regret to inform my fellow UAC members that I will NOT be on a speaking tour. )

[Nym90]

Well, I started a thread about absentee voting earlier, and most everyone seemed to think that it was a good idea.

I'd say cast an absentee ballot, and if someone wants to challenge it to the Supreme Court, fine, but clearly the basic principles of democracy should prevail here, and no one should be disenfranchised.

BTW, the election is June 18-20.

[ilikeverin]

Have fun in Alaska

[Gustaf]

Well, I started a thread about absentee voting earlier, and most everyone seemed to think that it was a good idea.

I'd say cast an absentee ballot, and if someone wants to challenge it to the Supreme Court, fine, but clearly the basic principles of democracy should prevail here, and no one should be disenfranchised.

BTW, the election is June 18-20.

I concur.

[Peter]

Dan raises a valid point (maybe I missed it), what is the reason for moving the election back one week?

[Nym90]

It hasn't been moved. It is the 2nd to the last week of the month, like the Constitution stipulates.

[Demrepdan]

Attorney General Demrepdan expected shortly to make a public announcement.....and we go now LIVE to the steps of the Midwestern Capitol building.

Demrepdan: Hello. As many of you are already aware, I have returned from my trip from Alaska nearly a week ago. I did vote in the Presidential and Senatorial elections. I voted for Gustaf of the UAC and throw my full support to him, and I'm sure he will make a fine President. However, during my trip, I first went to Seattle in order to OFFICIALLY bring an end to the long forgotten Jesus Christ Party. Bgwah is now a thing of the past, as is the JCP. I also made a speech about the UAC in Alaska, which no doubt is the reason Alaska voted UAC this election.

However, although I am a member of the UAC, recent events, due to some authoritarian party members, have lead me to believe that this is NOT the party for me. Centrist as it may be, it is still fairly conservative. I will not reveal any UAC members NAMES, who made me feel "unwanted" at the party, but, they know who they are and they can all kiss my ass in front of the post office.

Therefore, for the FOURTH time in our Forum's history, I shall change parties. And this time I shall change to the Atlas Forum Independence Party. I trust that I shall be quite happy here, and feel more at home. Perhaps, this is the last time I will change parties.  And for those of you who complain about me changing parties, you can all just go to hell. This is still a free forum, this is still a democracy. If I wanted to I could change parties every hour if I so choose. I leave the party, when the party's politics become difficult for me to withstand. I am, and always will be, a Democrat in real life. But on the forum, if I would have stayed a Democrat, I would have stayed in a party run by the authoritarian BOSS TWEED. If I would have stayed with the Republicans, I would have stayed with a party, that without Supersoulty, was more interested in bringing themselves to power in order to push their own conservative views and not do what is best for ALL forum members. And if I CONTINUE to stay in the UAC, I will stay in a party that is advantageous, and run by many people who once wanted to BRING down the fantasy elections, or not participate in them at ALL until they saw opportunity to cease power. I also leave a party who's basic CONCEPT of centrists thought I adored, but turned out to be more conservative than centrist.

So I leave the UAC, and wish MOST of their members good luck. Especially to President-Elect Gustaf. I look for nothing more in ANY party, than to strengthen and better the forum, and regardless of whether or not a particular party wants to do that, I know that GUSTAF does. And I wish him well. God bless you all, and God bless the Atlas Forum.  

[Nym90]

Welcome to the party, Dan.

[ilikeverin]

No, welcome to the par-tay, Dan

[YRABNNRM]

It's sad to see you go but your reasons are understandable(and some spot on). Best wishes with the new party Dan!

[Demrepdan]

A week after the election......we look back on the Electoral College Map.





                  Electoral Vote       Popular Vote
Gustaf:              277                      44%  

Nym90:              134                     43%

StevenNick:       127                     13%

[StevenNick]

A week after the election......we look back on the Electoral College Map.





                  Electoral Vote       Popular Vote
Gustaf:              277                      44%  

Nym90:              134                     43%

StevenNick:       127                     13%

I sure cleaned up in the electoral college considering that I only received 13% of the popular vote.  

[John]

hey
i just annouced i am running for office to take out gusty
report that pleses

[© tweed]

Dan,

I would not allow Gustaf to win New York, and it would be just flat physically impossible for him to win Rhode Island.

[Gustaf]

Sorry to see you go Dan. Don't know what you're talking about when it comes to us being conservative or power-hungry...the core of the party I still think is sound. But I'll admit to haveing been a little absent lately.

[Demrepdan]

Former Attorney General Demrepdan is soon to make a speech, and we go there live to his home in Illinois.

Demrepdan: Good afternoon. I know I have not been active at the forum recently. I know I have been off and on. However, that is all about to change. I am now going to become more active around the forum, more politically active around the Fantasy Elections.
     
     I have had a long relationship with many of you here at the forum. And as you are all aware, I have contributed GREATLY to the causes of the Fantasy Elections. I ran for Vice President along with Supersoulty in the FIRST eleciton we held at the forum. I also wrote the Forum Constitution. I also attempted to maintain order as Secretary of Forum Affairs, during a time in which there was not yet a TRUE constitution and there was mass confusion. And after the Constitution was officially ratified, and after we had a new elected government, I then became Attorney General of the Atlas Forum and upheld the laws of the Constitution. Recently, I have become pre-occupied with other things, keeping the forum in mind but not in priority.

      But now I return to you. I come back to you. And this time I come before you as a private citizen of the forum. And this time, I come before you, announcing that I wish to remain in Forum politics, and serve the people of the forum to the best of my ability, as I have tried so desperately to do these last six months. Therefore, I wish to announce my candidacy for Senator from my district. I know I will be running against to worthy opponents, Fritz and PBrunsel. However, I wish for you to all lend your support to me, in my battle to serve you. We will have a long journey ahead. Win or lose, I know that I will continue to fight for what is right, and I will never back down. If I am fortunate enough to win, however, I will have a steady platform that you have given me, by which I can strongly fight for you the average citizen at the forum. I thank all of you who supported me over these many months, and I give even greater thanks for all of you who continue to support me. God bless you all, and God bless the Forum.

[ilikeverin]

I now split in half of who to vote for.

[Nym90]

Stick with party unity, ILV!

I fully endorse Demrepdan for the Senate seat. Although, I should note that we have 3 excellent candidates in this race. I hope the other 2 are not hurt by my endorsement, but I feel that DemrepDan is, overall, the most qualified for the seat.

[Nation]

Stick with party unity, ILV!

I fully endorse Demrepdan for the Senate seat. Although, I should note that we have 3 excellent candidates in this race. I hope the other 2 are not hurt by my endorsement, but I feel that DemrepDan is, overall, the most qualified for the seat.

I agree with former President Nym and also fully endorse Demrepdan for Senate, even with his past differences of the UAC.