Pence Won’t Have Dinner With A Woman Who Isn’t His Wife

[Middle-aged Europe]

Clinton should have lived by the same doctrine, at least while occupying the White House.

Bill had dinner with Monica in the White House?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

A married man should not be having dinner with another woman, unless that other woman is his sister, daughter, mother, or grand mother, you get the picture.

...

It's obvious Winfield never had any female friends in his entire life.

Oh how little you know about life my naïve friend, how very, very little.

Wait, I thought Kal was still a virgin........

[angus]

Bill had dinner with Monica in the White House?

No, but apparently Monica got a bellyfull.

[publicunofficial]

A married man should not be having dinner with another woman, unless that other woman is his sister, daughter, mother, or grand mother, you get the picture.

...

It's obvious Winfield never had any female friends in his entire life.

Oh how little you know about life my naïve friend, how very, very little.

That's exactly how a guy who has tons of sex talks. I'm convinced.

[Anna Komnene]

I don't really care what the Pences do in their personal life, but in my opinion, this kind of thinking all goes back to childhood.  Enforcing and encouraging gender norms at a young age, leads to a kind of situation where boys and girls don't interact with each other and don't understand each other.  The other sex ends up becoming this mythical creature that is feared and loathed for being icky until one day the siren call is flaring like mad with certain people in the opposite sex now cloaked in some sort of shining light from up on high (making things all the more confusing if all your friends are seeing that light and you aren't).  Obviously there are biological things at play here, so people would be feeling a lot of these desires and urges anyway, but the social aspects contribute to people deciding that people of the opposite sex are only meant to be hunted for marital (and sexual) bliss, instead of being people that could be lifelong friends.

So Pence's life is his business, but I'd also note that by saying this in that interview, he is making a normative statement for mass public consumption, and he's also made his views on gender norms clear on a variety of occasions in the past.

[Lincoln Republican]

Mike Pence does not see women as humans equal to men. That was obvious before this came out; even more obvious now.

Now, now my friend, let's not get carried away  with our over the top and exaggerated rhetoric.

[Tintrlvr]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

I'm not gonna lie...as liberal as I may be, if my fiance was at the bar having drinks with other men...I would dump her quickly

You need to get over this attitude quickly, for the health of your future relationships.

[Nhoj]

The dinner thing is pretty uninteresting. however everyone seems to have missed his other statement that he wont go to events that serve alcohol without his wife. Does mike pence have a drinking problem?

[Illiniwek]

I can sympathize that going out with another woman might not feel like the best thing to do, but having a hard and fast rule against it makes him look like a whipped weanie.

If you are in a position like Congressman, Governor, or VP you should be able to get over it and take care of business. But maybe he can't get over it...

Oh yeah and the alcohol thing: if you have alcoholic tendencies then fine, I can get avoiding drinking. But only drinking of the supervision of your wife? Super weanie!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

If it makes anyone feel better, I haven't yet had dinner with a woman who *is* my wife!

[Kingpoleon]

Is this normal in other parts of the county?

If your relationship with your partner is so shaky that having dinner with another female could potentially bring it down, something needs to be examined.

Everyone I have seen on my Facebook feed about it is talking about it positively.  You don't have to make the exact same rule (re: eating, especially since there is a difference between getting a snack and having a four-course dinner), but the principle is very sound.  I think it's a culture war thing that we never really thought about.  It would feel like cheating to me to spend an entire day hanging out with a girl other than my girlfriend if I had one because some sort of light crush would inevitably form, and that's wrong, but unavoidable if you spend too much time together.  That's not to say that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, as long as there are reasonable boundaries.

I have never taken you for a romantic before. Personally, I'm quite capable of "controlling" myself from developing romantic feelings, but maybe that's just me being picky.

[Mr. Smith]

He's got it right. Good man. Really devoted and good man. What's the problem?

[bmaup1]

What does it matter if the man chooses not to? It's for his comfort is it not? It is alright for a grown man to choose who he is around or not. And there should be no reason for it to be considered causing "gender inequality." maybe the guy is simply uncomfortable around women besides his wife? Or maybe its because of all the politics of it? There are just too many things happening outside of just "gender inequality" to call it that. Look at how media outlets instantly jump onto a situation to print out news whether it be true or not. He could be thinking "If i'm seen with another woman without my wife they'll call me a cheater and print out massive stories over it." If anything you should give the man some praise for trying to cover his own butt lol.

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Is this normal in other parts of the county?

If your relationship with your partner is so shaky that having dinner with another female could potentially bring it down, something needs to be examined.

Everyone I have seen on my Facebook feed about it is talking about it positively.  You don't have to make the exact same rule (re: eating, especially since there is a difference between getting a snack and having a four-course dinner), but the principle is very sound.  I think it's a culture war thing that we never really thought about.  It would feel like cheating to me to spend an entire day hanging out with a girl other than my girlfriend if I had one because some sort of light crush would inevitably form, and that's wrong, but unavoidable if you spend too much time together.  That's not to say that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, as long as there are reasonable boundaries.

I have never taken you for a romantic before. Personally, I'm quite capable of "controlling" myself from developing romantic feelings, but maybe that's just me being picky.

That's what ExtremeRepublican would have said.  ExtremeDemocrat loves hookup culture and thinks that this proves how awful of a sexist pig Pence is!

[Middle-aged Europe]

Is this normal in other parts of the county?

If your relationship with your partner is so shaky that having dinner with another female could potentially bring it down, something needs to be examined.

Everyone I have seen on my Facebook feed about it is talking about it positively.  You don't have to make the exact same rule (re: eating, especially since there is a difference between getting a snack and having a four-course dinner), but the principle is very sound.  I think it's a culture war thing that we never really thought about.  It would feel like cheating to me to spend an entire day hanging out with a girl other than my girlfriend if I had one because some sort of light crush would inevitably form, and that's wrong, but unavoidable if you spend too much time together.  That's not to say that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, as long as there are reasonable boundaries.

I have never taken you for a romantic before. Personally, I'm quite capable of "controlling" myself from developing romantic feelings, but maybe that's just me being picky.

That's what ExtremeRepublican would have said.  ExtremeDemocrat loves hookup culture and thinks that this proves how awful of a sexist pig Pence is!

Try harder.

[Meclazine for Israel]

Bill had dinner with Monica in the White House?

No, but apparently Monica got a bellyfull.

Bill may not have had a formal dinner with Monica, but he did enjoy a tasty snack in her presence.

[DC Al Fine]

Who are all these married people going out for one on one dinners with the opposite sex?

If you're in a profession that requires a fair amount of travel to meet with colleagues in other cities, it happens all the time.

Oh I get that side of things. I'm talking about people mentioning one on one dinners, coffee etc with platonic female friends. DavidB mentioned going out for drinks with a woman who was engaged and expected it to happen after she was married, and it seemed a bit foreign to me.

Between work, my marriage and general household stuff, I barely have time to see my friends in a group setting, much less meeting a female friend alone for cocktails.

[DC Al Fine]

Interesting discussion on the political/cultural divide here, by the way. Unfortunately lots of strawmen in David French's article. Not every person who thinks it's okay for men to hang out with female friends is someone who thinks gender is just a social construction, is on the left, or is an atheist.

I gave the article a quick skim, and I agree it was a bit much. There is a big difference between rolling your eyes at Mike Pence and claiming his practice is part of rape culture, and we Evangelicals often fail to distinguish between reasonable disagreement like the former and hysterics like the latter.

However, I want to make a brief defense of such sensitivity. There was a segment of the left talking about how Pence's practice was sexist, discriminatory, and inhibited female careers. Vox even published a piece saying it was probably illegal.

The implication, if such arguments were taken to their fullest extent, is that Evangelicals cannot hold certain positions without betraying their convictions. Annoyingly, such exclusionary claims are being made in the name of tolerance and equality.

This is not to say we're about to be persecuted or make this a "poor ol' us" conversation, but given some of the rhetoric used I sympathize with some of the conservative overreaction.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

I strongly disagree with Pence, obviously—I’m an unmarried straight man with mostly female friends and a virgin at twenty-four—and I think this is a terrible rule for a public figure to have, but I also think it’s silly to descend into histrionics about it being intrinsically sexist for couples to have boundaries like this.

[Mr. Morden]

Who are all these married people going out for one on one dinners with the opposite sex?

If you're in a profession that requires a fair amount of travel to meet with colleagues in other cities, it happens all the time.

Oh I get that side of things. I'm talking about people mentioning one on one dinners, coffee etc with platonic female friends. DavidB mentioned going out for drinks with a woman who was engaged and expected it to happen after she was married, and it seemed a bit foreign to me.

Between work, my marriage and general household stuff, I barely have time to see my friends in a group setting, much less meeting a female friend alone for cocktails.

Well, I've never been married, but looking back through my memory banks at occasions on which I had dinner alone with a woman who was married (and not a blood relative, like my sister), all of the examples I can think of involve someone traveling.  Either we had both traveled to some work-related event, or it was someone (either work colleague or platonic friend) who didn't live in the same city I did, but was visiting the city I was in for something or other, and had dinner with me while she was there, *or*, at least in one case I can think of, she didn't live in the same city I did, but was accompanying her husband on a business trip to my city, and had dinner with me one night while in town, while he was busy with his work event.

So yeah, I can't think of any occasions on which I had a dinner alone with a non-related married woman while we were in the city that she lives in.

[dead0man]

Women are not sexual creatures .

WTF?  Have you met one?

Seriously, how am I the first person to point this out?

[JA]

Women are not sexual creatures .

WTF?  Have you met one?

Seriously, how am I the first person to point this out?

I must've missed that because LMAO. Shadows must have never been around women if he thinks that.

[Middle-aged Europe]

Women are not sexual creatures .

WTF?  Have you met one?

Seriously, how am I the first person to point this out?

I must've missed that because LMAO. Shadows must have never been around women if he thinks that.

Dudes, women who are expressing sexual desires are merely suffering from hysteria. Since the 19th century this has been a well documented fact.

[dead0man]

can't tell if serious

[Middle-aged Europe]

Of course I'm serious! There's nothing better than a goood old water massage.