The Rebirth of a Dynasty: A Grunge House of Cards

[Former Senator Haslam2020]

Act 1: Prologue to a long year: Clearing the Field


Senator: Hello, Mr Governor! I was actually anxiously awaiting this call!

Dukakis: Hey, uh, what do you mean?

Senator: Your aides tell me you're going to run. Now, look, let's cut the bullsh*t, you couldn't win now.

Dukakis: What do you mean? I could be on track to becoming the next ing president, look-

Senator: Now you listen to me, Mike, you wouldn't make it past the damn primaries, you know that. And a General Election? They'd rip you to shreds. It's time we take the party back to its glory days.

Dukakis: Uh!?

Senator: Look, I'm gonna win. You'll be Ambassador to Greece for a while, eh? Then an appointment to The U.N Ambassadorship, next thing you know- you're the Secretary of State!!!! Think about it. You have a future Mike. Whether it's '96 or 2000, you decide.

Dukakis: I'll cancel the announcement... I'm doing this because I'm going to win... One day.... Good luck, Ted. You'll f**king need it.

Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis announces he will pass on Presidential bid:



"...In short, I don't think this is for me. Im a policy guy, not a campaigner."

Governor Mario Cuomo declines run, praises Ted Kennedy!!!

Senator Ted Kennedy announces Presidential Run to a crowd of 2,000 people in Washington, D.C.!!!

[DeSantis4Prez]

ooh... looks interesting

[Former Senator Haslam2020]

ooh... looks interesting

Thanks!! An edit coming soon!! This'll be exciting!!

[Kamala]

The only question... is Ted no Jack Kennedy?

[Former Senator Haslam2020]

The only question... is Ted no Jack Kennedy?

Oh... Quite the opposite you'll know what I mean soon. I'll try to have an update tonight!

[Former Senator Haslam2020]

NYT Editorial: KENNEDY: The Man to beat!!!



Page 1: "And then there were Four"

"Four candidates have announced their intentions to seek the Democratic Nomination. More are likely to join this field, but Kennedy seems to be the obvious front runner. Babbitt is polling well out west, but doesn't look likely to break through. The two no name representatives won't get anywhere. Jesse Jackson may run again, and would provide a great threat to liberal Kennedy, Hart would put a serious dent in the front runner's momentum train too, with numerous other candidates considering, Kennedy will have to work for this."

Senator Ted Kennedy
Fmr. Governor Bruce Babbitt
Representative James Traficant
Representative Douglas Applegate

------

Memoirs of the Campaign, page 1, being investigated by Ted Kennedy's lawyer, April 1st, 1992:

Entry 1, April 1st, 1987:

The long road to hell has begun. I finally announced. I don't want this. But I'm practically f**kig obligated to. I think I can finally go past the Senate, and do something monumental. I have a lot of pests in my way though, I'm willing to do anything for this. I'm going to give Jesse a call... I'll write down how it goes in a couple minutes... Alright... Here's the log.


Jackson: Hello, Senator.

Kennedy: Hello, Jesse. How's it down there this time of year?

Jackson: Great, I assume you're calling because you know I'm running again.

Kennedy: Look, I need the liberal vote, plus you know you won't make it past the primaries and certainly not the general, definitely not in this century.

Jackson: Look, Ted. The black people need a voice and this office is mine. I'm tired of you white men.

Kennedy: I'm offering you the job of potentially being my Vice President. I'm offering you a way out... No one has to know about her you know...

Jackson: You disgust me.

Kennedy: You and her disgust me.

I hung up.

News Headlines:

Jesse Jackson declines Presidential Bid!!! -April 12th, 1987


"...I just can't do it. I'm sorry..."

Fmr. Senator Gary Hart announces campaign for President!!! -April 13th, 1987


"...Our movement is back!!!..."

Senator Joe Biden announces exploratory committee!!!- April 18th, 1987

Senator Al Gore announces Presidential exploratory Committee!!!- April 19th, 1987

Senator Lloyd Bentsen announces Presidential exploratory committee!!- April 29th, 1987

Senator Al Gore announces Presidential Bid!!!! -April 30th,1987

[Former Senator Haslam2020]

NBC News: Polling shows Kennedy still ahead of the pack, but Hart closing in!!!




Senator Kennedy campaigning in New Hampshire, April 29th, 1987, Former Senator Hart campaigning in Utah the same day.

Democratic Primary Polling, May 1st, 1987:

Senator Ted Kennedy: 36.9%
Fmr. Senator Gary Hart: 29.0%
Senator Lloyd Bentsen: 10.1%
Senator Al Gore: 8.0%
Senator Joe Biden: 6.1%
Representative Dick Gephardt: 5.9%
Representative James Traficant: 0.9%
Representative Doug Applegate: 0.5%


*phone rings at Hart's office*

Gary Hart's recollection of the call, written down, May 1st, 1992:

Aide: It's uh... Kennedy... sir?

Hart: Put him through, let's hear him.

Kennedy: Hello Gary! Pleasure to call you!!!

Hart: Uh, same I guess. We're rivals, why ya calling me?

Kennedy: I'm offering you a deal. What do you want. A cabinet post of your choice, or a media frenzy involving Donna Rice?

Hart: What the  are you talking about, Ted? You're sick, you're a snake.

Kennedy: Hey, we got all the proof.

Hart: I'll whip your ass worse than Jimmy did.

*hangs up*

New York Times Article: *Presidential Candidate Gary Hart involved in extramarital affair?!*

Memoirs of the Campaign, page 2, being investigated by Ted Kennedy's lawyer, April 1st, 1992

Entry 2, May 3rd, 1987:


A phone rang at my desk. It was Gary. He asked the f**king media to follow him, so they did. Damn. I have some good Intel. Let others know this is what happens when you try to f**k with a Kennedy!!! Let me write down the calls...


Kennedy: Hello?

Gary: You bastard.

Kennedy: Damn, I'm so offended. Drop out already you disgraced clown.

Gary: I'll be back. I swear I will get you Ted, wait 'til '92 or something or I'll run as a god damned independent if I have to to sink you!!!

Kennedy: Relax, f**kface. You're done.

Gary: Argh!!! F**k you!!

NBC News: Gary Hart quitting the race, May 4th, 1987




Al Gore "officially" declares Presidential Bid, May 10th, 1987



"...I'm running because America needs new, fresh blood for leadership!!!..."

Representative Dick Gephardt announces Presidential Campaign, May 20th, 1987

Senator Paul Simon announces Exploratory Committee, May 21st, 1987

Fmr. Senator Frank Church announces Exploratory Committee, May 26th, 1987

Senator Joe Biden Announces Presidential Campaign, June 1st, 1987



"...I'm running for President of the United States, I am one of the most experience and qualified for the job..."