Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
November 12, 2018, 03:50:31 pm
HomePredMockPollEVCalcAFEWIKIHelpLogin Register
News: New features added! Click here for more information. Click here to configure new features.

+  Atlas Forum
|-+  Presidential Elections - Analysis and Discussion
| |-+  Election What-ifs? (Moderators: AndrewTX, Apocrypha)
| | |-+  Tyranny, Cuckoldry and One True Passion [Act II Track 8: Brilliant Disguise]
« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 Print
Author Topic: Tyranny, Cuckoldry and One True Passion [Act II Track 8: Brilliant Disguise]  (Read 3799 times)
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« on: July 29, 2017, 12:52:36 am »

Once I saw that spark498 had gone public with his endeavor which was an immediate threat to my goals, I knew I had to take my timeline public prior to completion. While the timeless tale is still under construction, and I hate to lock myself in, we will make it work with what we have! Without further ado, I bring you:

Tyranny, Cuckoldry, and One True Passion
[aka The Worst Timeline Ever Posted on Atlas]

Dedicated to my own one true passion.

Additional thanks to the contributions from memes - public and private - made by the IRC crew at #SouthernChat, the Discord delinquents, @Seinfeld2000 and most especially bronz (I-NJ). This absolute monstrosity would not be possible without your thoughtful ideas and hilarious jokes. Some writing assistance anticipated from retromike22

Act I: Whose Passion Is It Anyway?
The First Station: Trumps Condemns Christie to Chief of Staff
The Second Station: Christie Accepts His Role in the Trump Administration
The Third Station: Christie Fails for the First Time
The Fourth Station: Ivanka Meets Her Daddy
The Fifth Station: Scaramucci Helps Carry The Crisps
The Sixth Station: Victoria Swipes a Trace of Chris
The Seventh Station: Christie Fails for the Second Time
The Eighth Station: Justin Meets the Three Women of Jerusalem
      Part 1
      Part 2
The Ninth Station: Christie Fails for the Third Time
The Tenth Station: Christie is Stripped of His Chiefdom
The Eleventh Station: Christie is Nailed by His Boss
       Cana-dates
       The Infamous Independence Day
The Twelfth Station: The Messiah Dies on the Moss
The Thirteenth Station: "TRUMP" is Taken Down from the Podium
The Fourteenth Station: Trump is Placed in a Tomb
The Fifteenth Station: Make America Rise Again

Act II: Two for the Road
Track 1
Track 2
Track 3
Track 4
Track 5
Track 6
Track 7
Track 8
Track 9
Track 10
Encore


Act I Characters:
Donald J. Trump, 45th President of America
Amanda Miller, Receptionist in the D. Trump White House
General John Kelly, D. Trump's Second Chief of Staff
Jared Kushner, Son-in-law to D. Trump
Ivanka Trump, Daughter to D. Trump
Arabella Kushner, Daughter to I. Trump and J. Kushner
Louise Mensch, Crack Addict
Eric Garland, Game Theory Expert
Dishonest Media [Chorus]
Deplorable Hillbillies [Chorus]
Christopher J. Christie, former prosecutor and D. Trump's Third Chief of Staff
Dr. Ben Carson, Secretary of Housing and Urban Affairs
Secret Service Agents [Chorus]
Barron Trump, a.k.a. "The Expert", 3rd son to D. Trump
Joseph Kushner, son to I. Trump and J. Kushner
Theodore Kushner, son to I. Trump and J. Kushner
Trio of US Diplomats [Chorus]
Justin Trudeau, 23rd Prime Minister of Canada
Christy Clark, 35th Premier of British Columbia
Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci, Transfeminine Cultural Icon and Love Guru
Tiger Woods, Lion' Cheetah [non-speaking]
Donald Trump Jr., 1st Son to D. Trump
Eric Trump, 2nd Son to D. Trump
Victoria Gotti, Boss of the Gambino Crime Family
Pair of Gambino Crime Family Soldiers [non-speaking]
Delivery Man [Non-speaking]
Sean Hannity, Trump TV Anchor
Trio of Trump Donors [Chorus]
Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, Some racist relic
Chris "Both Sides Do It" Cillizza, Fake News Person
Milo Yiannopoulos, Trump TV Correspondent
Caitlyn Jenner, Fox News 8:00 Anchor
bronz (I-NJ), Fox News moderate correspondent
Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader
Roy Moore, Fourth Great Alabama Icon
Marco Rubio, Homosexual Prostitute
CNN Anchor (Unnamed)
British Columbia Independence Party Protestors [Chorus]
Caucasian Myrtle Beach Waitstaff
Melania Trump, 3rd wife to D. Trump
Dominic LeBlanc, Low Energy Canada Cabinet Person
Naheed Nenshi, Less orange Jeet Heer
Denis Coderre, Outspoken French Rights Activist
Dalton McGuinty, Hot Dad Canadian edition
Chrystia Freeland, Leading Canadian Thinker and Srs ppl candidate
Bruce Springsteen, King of New Jersey
Commanderess Clash, Transgender Military Hero and Comedian and Conservative Party Leader
Jagmeet Singh, NDP's continued great hope
Kid Rock, Murican Senator from Michigan [Non-speaking]
Paul O'Neill, Congressman from New Jersey [Non-speaking]
Tyler Henry, Fake Blonde Twink
Theresa Caputo, Spiritual Communicator from Long Island
Chelsea Clinton, High Ranking Official in the Clinton Crime Family
Susie Essman-Scaramucci, Former Trump roaster turned passionate mourner
Hamish Marissen-Clark, Sole son to C. Clark and M. Marissen, By-election candidate for parliament
« Last Edit: September 12, 2018, 10:27:45 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2017, 12:55:13 am »

Act I
The First Station: Trumps Condemns Christie to Chief of Staff
Oval Office - Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Donald Trump sat at his desk pretending to be able to read the abridged version of the latest GOP Congressional Health Care Proposal. The three year long episode had already been the most epic failure in the history of partisan politics, and Trump was also bumbling through his on-again, off-again hawkish relationships with Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and other various dictators. “I’m the President,” he mumbled. “Bad stuff. Bad things, folks. Obamacare is failing.” He went back to flipping pages in his briefing packet and moving his head in-and-out, pretending to try and see the words.

A tiny buzzing sound began circling over the head of the President. His face wrinkled up, even more wrinkly than it was before he had his plastic surgery. He began swatting ferociously. “John! John!!” he called out. “John, we have a situation in here! Get in here! Guns blazing!”

Amanda Miller - the receptionist from the hit television drama, The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice, which never won an Emmy - was looking much, much older, unbefitting a woman hired by a man who inspired such confidence that he was elected leader of the free world. Her hair had grown grey, and though just 32, she spent her days reminiscing about her sorority days as a Rhode Island Ram when she would drink enough - well enough to sleep with a man more than three times her age! Had it been 10 years already since she traded an abortion for a life of luxury in the Trump Tower building - or so she had thought when she made the deal. (If there was one thing she should have known, it was to not make a deal with The Donald. How the truly foolish always got the winning end.) Amanda had heard the usual shouts from the Oval Office, but as a woman who was not his daughter, Ivanka, she did not dare to enter herself to see the ruckus. With all the sass of an eighty year old African-American woman, she exclaimed, “Oh, I did not sign up for this.” Resignedly, she paced quickly down the hall to fetch Chief of Staff John Kelly.

The phone in Kelly’s office was ringing, but he paid it no attention, trying to maintain his focus on backpedaling strategies for the backlash against the “Second Korean War” as announced by the President on Twitter on Monday.

“John. John,” Amanda requested. Kelly acknowledged her with a grunt without a moment to look up. “John, the President is requesting you again.”
“Can’t you let him know I’m busy cleaning up one of his other messes already. And running this whole d[INKS] country too!”
“That is not my job,” Amanda sassed back.
“That is literally your entire job.”
“Mmhmmmm. You gonna go see him or what?”

Kelly took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. He stood up and stretched his arms into a half shrug and instead just slapped the sides of his thighs before shoving his chair back under his desk. “Doesn’t anybody do what their job description says they do around this place anymore?” he passive aggressively smirked in disbelief before shuffling down the hallowed halls of the once sacred building. But nothing much was sacred these days in America.

He pushed open the door to the Oval and immediately saw The Donald standing on a chair, back against the wall like a child with his head tilted upwards, looking at something mystical in awe. Trump looked back down and put a finger across his lips before tilting his head back into its defensive position.

“Donald, I hea-”
“Shhhhhhhhh,” he was immediately cut off. Donald looked back at him again and pointed at the critter and mouthed his trademark, “Jhina.” Then he outright spoke, “They got the whole place bugged.” He strongly clenched onto a rolled up copy of The New York Times with his face on the cover, ready to pounce.

Kelly went over to talk Donald off the chair and reached out a hand to help him down. “Donald, listen-I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore. The Chinese aren’t listening in.”
“No, John, they are sending the bugs to bug me. I need you to kill it.”
“Yeah, I’m not going to that,” Kelly replied, shaking his head
“What! I thought you were a tough guy, we need tough, tough guys. Even the p[INKS] Reince came in here and started acting tough. He took care of the bugs for me. How can a general not kill a bug!”

Mr. General Chief of Staff John Kelly walked behind the desk and to the window. “Donald, I think my time here has lasted long enough. I’m afraid I will have to be leaving soon. My family needs me. Would you like me to seek new candidates to serve as your Chief of Staff?”

“No, no. If you’re such a not tough guy that you can’t kill a fly, I’d like you pack up your things,” and he paused before dropping, “You’re fired.”

General no-longer Chief of Staff Cry John Kelly exited the office and Trump picked up his Android Samsung Galaxy S7 and sent a message to his contact, Consigliere Chris - ‘You’re next up, buddy boy” before opening his Twitter for Android app:



[If you are wondering why Trump not verified, to be honest with you, he VERY OBSERVANTLY tweeted how funny it is that there is an African country called the n-word - like he actually write it out - and how it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t say the name of a country he was negotiating with on a diplomatic trip.]
« Last Edit: August 02, 2017, 09:19:10 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2017, 08:38:22 pm »

The Second Station: Christie Accepts His Role in the Trump Administration
Press Conference, White House Lawn – August 23, 2018

Jared was upset and distraught when he awoke.
“I am upset and distraught,” he said.
His wife Ivanka was making breakfast for her infallible angel, Arabella, “Pity does not work for me either, Jared. None of your games work.”
“No, no, not that! Eww, you know I would never! It’s just...your father! Again!”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk about him like that in front of my impressionable young daughter,” Ivanka covered Arabella’s ears. “Why don’t you ever think about me and my children?”
Ignoring her, he continued to exclaim the horrors that befuddled him: “Do you believe he announced last night that Chris Christie as his Chief of Staff? An oily dog raised by Sicilians to be something even more vile! Dirty rat backstabber! Too far this time! And Eric Garland just tweeted, “Trump to have ceremony on the WH steps this AM to celebrate his successful application of Game Theory in practice.” And Louise Mensch just quoted him saying her sources indicate they are planning a New Age Holocaust! The horror! Louise Mensch! The only journalist who got every single inside detail right about the Russia story!” Jared began waving his finger as an idea awakened him: “You know what I’m going to do...I’m gonna call Dad up.”
Ivanka smiled aggressively and nodded, “Yeah. You should.”
“I’m gonna do it!”
“Go right ahead.”
“I’m going to dial it!
“Go for it.”
“It’s ringing! Last to chance to st- Heeeeeeyyyy, dad!”

“Hello. Who’s there? Oh, is that Lara? No wait, Barron?! Barron - daddy’s here!”
“Nooooo, dad, it’s Jared!”
“Oh Jared, the spare son! I remember you! You son of gun, listen, oh you probably saw the news - I thought it was a woman on the other end of this line - and I speak to a lot of women. I’m glad you called, you won’t believe what I did for you, kid!”
“Yea, uh, I saw, dad. You realize you just hired the guy who put my father in prison and ruined my childhood and destroyed my aspirations of ever becoming a man and put him in as your most powerful advisor - above me! Your son!.”
“Oh Jared! No, no, no, it’s not like that at all! I had a great idea come to me last night! What could I do to make everybody like me? Remember what I was doing? I was making fun of all those low-energy Republicans, like Jeb and Lyin’ Ted - so what if I make that happen again. Put Chris by my side and basically just make fun of how weak he is 24/7. I’ll emasculate him so much, you will finally have your revenge. And son, as an added bonus, it’ll make you that much more forceful sounding when I let you be my successor.”
“Yo-your-your successor?”
“Of course, son. You can’t imagine I am letting Don Jr near this thing after the whole adoption mess, and between you-and-me Eric is just too weird. You are the best lineage this family has got! You and Ivanka side-by-side - if you can keep her satisfied. A nice b[INKS] on each side of you - one a pretty face and the other your eternal slave working to make things right. Just dream, kiddo. One day it will be yours when I hand over the keys. You think you can handle that?”
In disbelief, Jared began nodding nervously and gulped before stammering, “Ye-ye-ye-ye-yes! Yessir. Thanks dad!”
“You’re one in ten billion, son. Carry my legacy as far as you can take it. A lot of people are saying that I am one of the best game theory people in the history of this country - and we live in a country with a lot of great game theory people - a lot of people don’t know that. My shoes won’t be easy to fill, but I know you can try your hardest.”
Jared hung up the phone, entirely relieved and for the first time in a decade, smiled at his wife, dreaming of what the future held because of her.

Meanwhile, at the White House, pomp and circumstance filled the air. For a simple public administration job, the festivities had been coordinated out on a massive scale overnight to seat thousands of attendees - some say a record crowd! As the dishonest fake news journalists waited impatiently for an hour as usual to see The Donald dribble on, hillbillies sought to be interviewees for the Next Great Thinkpiece, lining up to get into the ceremony and spout their love for America. Finally, about 90 minutes, Chris Christie took a seat on the stage and a few short minutes later Donald walked out to raucous plaudits from the deplorable fans.

“Good afternoon and welcome. I think we all know why you are here - the press in the back, looking at you - don’t twist what I am about to say like you did with what I said last night. Nobody likes when you do that. Chris, where’d you go? There you are. Stand right there.”

The ceremony began very basic - on script with all its pauses: “Today. I am naming. Governor Chris Christie. To be the next Chief of Staff on Trump’s cabinet.” And then the ad lib began as it descended into rants and parodic shows of love for America and self , “-which is already one of the best cabinets in the history of the United States. Now, look the media was all over my case last night because I wrote The Mooch on Twitter even though he’s been gone for a year now, but hey, remember when Obama said there were 57 states. Where did you hear about that? Nowhere! Not a peep! The media is so biased and dishonest and out of control. One of the greatest threats to the American people. So I said a different name - so what? Who even cares about that? Anyway, speaking of great American people - General Kelly –  we love our military folks, am I right? Bravest men in the country, no doubt about that – General Kelly is going back to his thing in his place wherever he’s from - I hope it’s a Trump state, you know, from when I won all the states in the map if you remember, there was so much red for Trump, a lot of people were saying, they had never seen a map quite like that ever before, you had Trump is Wisconsin and Trump in Kansas and Trump in Ohio and Trump in Texas - Anyway, the General is going back to wherever he comes from to prepare for battle in case we need him. Because there are a lot of bad dudes out there that don’t like us. And we have to be vigilant like Jesus said in the Bible. That is how we stay safe, so the General is going to take care of whatever, but we found one of the best men in the country to take his spot, didn’t we?” Trump slapped  Christie on the back three times and did a full tooth smirk. “Look at this guy!”

“And because Governor Christie is a big baseball fan - he likes the Mets! Oh, don’t boo, don’t boo. I’m a Yankees guy, but if he likes the Mets, that just means I’m a bigger winner than he is, isn’t that right? Anyway, to make this an authentic introductory press conference, we wanted to make this a real big league event, what do you say?! So to make that happen, I hereby present Governor Christie with an official Trump suit jacket - size X-X-X-X-L, what is that - quadruple X-L - wow four X’s, do you believe that? I think that is the only Trump jacket ever made in that size, we don’t like to cater to people that big, but personally for you governor as a token of appreciation for joining our team, handwoven, beautiful, try it on. You know my company’s losing a lot of money on that because there is just so much fabric, it costs hundreds and hundreds of dollars to sew that together, but we wanted to give you a proper welcome. How’s that? A bit snug?”
Chris mouthed, “it’s fine, it fits fine” and waved his hand in mild embarrassment.
“Too snug in the middle?” Trump motioned over his own heart and then tried tugging at the lapel of Christie’s new garment. “Well, we can’t fix it up any bigger than that, so maybe just skip a meal. Or three. Or five. Whatever we have to do to make it work, governor.”

“Anyway, Chris did a fantastic job in New Jersey with the schools. And the opioids. And we love this guy, we know he’s going to do such a great job under Trump. Maybe even better if he loses a few pounds, huh? This guy!” Trump grabbed Christie’s shoulder as both looked a bit uncomfortable with the contact. Trump broke into a frustrated sigh before finishing off, “No, but we love Chris here, this is going to be so great, maybe even greater than ever before. Thank you Chris for joining, and hey - how about a Thank you to Trump for finding the best people! You’re welcome! Chief of Staff Christie, everyone!”
Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2017, 12:00:22 am »

The Third Station: Christie Fails for the First Time
May 1, 2019 – Cabinet Meeting

Eight frustrating months into the Christie appointment, the President’s state of mind remained troubling and inconsistent. While he would still sometimes utilize his quick wit to fix his mistakes, he was noticeably absent in most aspects of the job from a mental perspective.

The Midwestern states that President Trump had become so enamored with after his stunning upset were burdened by poor jobs numbers and crumbling infrastructure. HUD Secretary Ben Carson and Chris Christie sat with Trump at a very long table, with many empty seats while a few secret service agents remained scattered around the room. Christie tried to engage the hopelessly dim Carson in a detailed policy discussion on how to present a proposal to revitalize the urban Midwestern housing market. The President, willingly absent from the conversation, sat on the other side of the table from them in the center of the room. He joyfully doodled his good friend Roger Stone having a fun time with big-breasted prostitute - totally oblivious to Christie’s obnoxious rants treating Carson as his pupil. Trump proudly displayed his work of art to a secret service agent and giggled like a high school boy, embarrassingly trying to get him to laugh along. The agent remained stone-faced and the President sighed with all the superiority of being the sole ‘cool’ person in the room. The Donald’s eyes began to dart around the familiar room looking for something intriguing to grab his attention next until he caught the last words of the cabinet conversation and decided to butt in with a grandiose idea of his own: 


This is actual architecture drawn by real estate developer Donald Trump

“Chris.” He paused. “You know what we really need to do. We need some beautiful skyscrapers in Detroit and Cleveland. You know what Mickey Rivers used to tell me, if you build it, they will come. You ever hear that? Get a great series of Trump buildings – office buildings, hotel and resorts on the water, casinos in the neighborhoods - they might like those. Whole skylines of Trump!”

Christie stared back in disbelief to the response given after a half hour of much more serious discussion. “What?...”.

“Ben, you saw that city! We walked through it together. It was so sad - tragic, really. It was full of people like you - just glaring and ready to stab at any second – well maybe not just like you because they could have probably landed a knife in a normal place that might actually hurt. But that’s your city though. If these people could work jobs in my skyscrapers, they might have hope. We have to make Trump jobs for them.”

The ever obsequious Michigander in his half-awake state, pivoted his upper body forward and back into a bow from his seat. “Yes, Mr. Trump, I believe I remember walking around Detroit with you.”

“Donald, with all due respect, none of that is relevant to what we are discussing. Besides, you can’t just build a hotel in a desolate place no one wants to visit. You can’t just build towers where there is no demand. There are laws of economics. You can’t…” Christie was abruptly cut off.

“I’m hearing a lot of negativity, Chris. I remember a lot of people saying I can’t be President either. You know, if we pulled out a map of the primary, you would see I won so many states, the map was all Trump, and you...and you won a big fat zero. So clearly, I must know what I’m talking about.”

“Yes, you are one of the smartest men I have ever met,” Carson interjected.

“Thanks Ben. See Chris, this guy never forgets what I did for him. Ted tried to hurt him, and I said I am not going to let that happen. Now that’s loyalty. You have to respect that. Hey, Chris, let’s take a break for a few hours – do you mind running to get Ben and I some Long John Silver’s? Just get a ton, this guy loves that stuff so much, don’t you, Ben?”

“Yes, Mr. Trump, I love sharing any meal with you.”

“Are you serious? I’m in the middle of crafting a policy proposal that could save your administration, and you want me to run out and grab fast food?”

“Well, it would probably do you some good to do some running, especially if you want to be chowing down on some fried shrimp with us. If we’re being really honest here.”

“I’m not going out for shrimp poppers! Just call someone else to do it.”


-mmmmm, who could turn that down-

“Chris, c’mon, you’re really turning down an offer for food? Plus you know and I know, you both did some really bad stuff back in New Jersey. An innocent woman is in prison because of your orders. Do I really need to go to Jeff and bring up some of this Bridgegate stuff?

“Bridgegate? You and I both know that is a load of bologna!”

“Chriiiiisssss,” Trump droned, imitating his good pal and totally still a supporter, Caitlyn Jenner. “You do not want to cross me, babe. Maybe drop the bologna and try a kale salad, babe. Bring it down to a six.” And then more seriously continued, wagging his finger, “You crossed me once, and I let you back in the family. Do not test me.”

Christie grunted and walked out of the room en route to the nearest Long John Silver’s, giving him a chance to quietly think out his plans to himself, outside the presence of complete idiots.


As he exited, the President made his eulogic comments like he did back in the days of The Apprentice after a firing. “You know I don’t like to talk like that, but he really provoked me. It had to be done.”

“I know, sir. You are very kind-hearted.”
Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
razze
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 2,275
United States


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2017, 09:46:56 am »

10/10 timeline, surprisingly quite realistic. Please continue! Cheesy
Agree! 11/10 for the use of the stations
Logged
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2017, 11:48:56 am »

Thank you, Thank you both. Amazing to know someone actually read this. All the inspiration I need to continue into the better (see: hilariously worse) subplots.
Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Senator Cris
Cris
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 5,541
Italy



View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2017, 12:02:26 pm »

10/10 timeline, surprisingly quite realistic. Please continue! Cheesy
Logged

Southern Speaker Punxsutawney Phil
TimTurner
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 8,827
United States


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2017, 12:09:34 pm »

keep this up
Logged


Vote Lib Dem on May 7 - keep Clegg as deputy PM

http://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=244197.0
Different states!
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2017, 09:01:51 pm »

Skipping quite a few months ahead so we can introduce some new kooky characters, eh!

The Fourth Station: Ivanka Meets Her Daddy
March 25, 2020 – White House Lounge

Several months later, the election season was already in full swing. Without an interesting primary opponent, The Donald didn’t know what to do with himself. The country’s economy had improved, but the rise of the alt-right and the pardon of Paul Manafort has left his approval ratings no better than passable within his own party. The Democratic Primary was in full force at this stage with a three-way battle between Bernie Sanders, Cory Booker, and Mark Zuckerberg all seeking to succeed him in office. Trump is tuned into Morning Joe as usual to start his weekday to watch out for mentions of him, but the Democratic candidates seem to be all the rage. (Meanwhile, the candidates and broadcasters all seemed to be on the receiving end of his Twitter rage.)

This show concluded with Scarborough sharing a personal quip about the best golf course he ever visited - Southern Hills Plantation Club in central Florida - with the most luxurious golf carts in the world and no walking at all! At that comment, Trump angrily hit the power button at that personal slight of Mar-a-Lago, but his mood radically shifted suddenly when his daughter entered right on cue:

“Hey Hot Stuff! My, oh my, aren’t you blinding! I might need to go back to Dr. Carson to fix my vision like he did when we were looking at the solar that time.”

Ivanka giggled, “Hehehe, hello Daddy” as she kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be heading off to Canada soon. You need anything before I head out?”

Today Donald was all business. He had a major policy initiative that he was pushing all across America on a speaking tour, much to the chagrin of the globalists: unification of the timezones in the Americas. Ivanka selflessly offered her services to be the US negotiator for the Canadian talks.

“Do me a favour,” Donald requested with a saddened look in his eyes. “I need you to take The Expert on the deal-making trip with you. I can’t have him moping around the White House anymore, face buried in the cyber, y’know? It makes me feel hopeless for this family. Nothing I do will cheer that kid up. I tried offering any military order he wanted – bombing Tehran, Pyongyang, or even the Moon, whatever! – but he just wasn’t into it. He’s going to make me do it myself! That kid’s just a little, different, you see it?”

“Oh, daddy! Barron is fine! You know there is nothing wrong with him. He’s just a teenager now. That’s all. High school is a little tough.”

“I never said there is anything wrong with him! He’s a tough kid. He’s a Trump. We’re all a little different! We’re better! We’re the greatest there’s ever been! I call him The Expert for a reason. You just gotta get him out of this house or I-I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“OK, Daddy, I’ll go fetch him before we go. Don’t worry, he’s going to be just fine,” Ivanka reassuringly smiled, mildly worried about what globally impactful events that that ‘threat’ could be referring to.

Getchyo diplomat’ing skirt on!

After a short jet ride over, Ivanka arrived in Ontario with three actually qualified bureaucrats, her children, Arabella, Joseph and Theodore, and of course her brother, Barron. The group was greeted on the tarmac by a pair of mounties who escorted them from their plane to a waiting room at the Trudeau residency. Immediately upon arrival, a blaring television was tuned into programming featuring the Trump patriarch hosting a rally in Tampa, Florida:

“And, I tell you what else we’re going to do – we are going to fix this time zone thing. I never get any sleep, it’s ridiculous. Why doesn’t everyone just wake and sleep at the same time! it’s totally crazy the way they made this thing. Someone explain this to me! Jhina is the fastest growing economy in the world, and what they do is they have one timezone and everybody is on it. Jhina is always innovating, and we can’t have Jhina keep beating us. We have to be great and think great.

That’s why my beautiful daughter Ivanka – you all love Ivanka – is up there with that crazy guy Justin Turdude or whatever his name is – I like to call him Justin True-dud - whoever he is – Ivanka is with Justin negotiating a great deal for this country so we can have one timezone for all of us. It makes so much sense. And then maybe we get some sleep, huh? And some people are saying, but what about Mexico? They’re our neighbor too. Well, I know, you all know what we say about the Mexicans – say it with me – Mexico can go f[INKS]”

Ivanka suddenly snatched the remote to turn off the programming.

A few moments later, Justin Trudeau came out of his office comforting a sobbing Christy Clark.

Christy bellowed through the tears, “Justin, how can I be banned from my home! There must be some way for you to override this effort!”

Former Premier Clark had of course been exiled from British Columbia by the hostile NDP after their sneaky takeover of the provincial legislature. To strengthen rule over the region, the socialists knew they had to take the head off the liberal capitalist beast of the opposition.

Trudeau elegantly replied with his calming charm, “Sh, shh. Now, you mustn't say such things. You are such a bold and beautiful woman. You inspire me everyday to know that women can do anything. You can’t let these radicals get to you – oh, don’t cry, please. You are so strong. I mean every word of it. Flawless Beautiful Justin will take care of it, don’t worry aboot a thing.”

When he was finished, the gorgeous figure across the room stood up. “Ivanka! How are you?!” Justin exclaimed as he kissed both cheeks. Oh and you brought family, is that so? I hadn’t been expecting you just yet.”

“I was hoping to catch you a bit early and maybe give my children a quick little introduction to the most powerful man in the world,” Ivanka flirtatiously smiled.

Not everyone in the Liberal Party looks at eachother like that

“Ah, well, quite the pleasure to meet you all indeed.” He engaged in mindless child chatter with Barron and Arabella while Joseph and Theodore were introduced by their mother on their behalf. “Ah, and how rude of me. This is Christy Clark, one of the Liberal Party’s finest public servants, who has an enormously bright future with us - we will be plotting the perfect role for her very soon. But for now - Christy, do you think you can entertain our American friends here through the weekend while Ivanka and I discuss what brought her here? Sorry to spring this upon you - just to clarify, I am not giving you the children because you are a woman - I mean, it’s 2020! - I would ask a man to do it too, but since you are around, could you lend a hand?

Christy, the strong and independent single mother, welcomed the the guests and helped the remainder of the Trump family file out. Meanwhile, the diplomats managed to actually discuss the absurd policy that brought the American mission over to begin with for two hours before they vowed to get a fresh start the next two days. All left for their hotels leaving Ivanka and Justin. Ivanka sat on a ledge, staring at the horizon. Trudeau came up behind her and rubs her shoulders.

“Oh Justin.”she paused. “I’m just so afraid my father won’t win re-election. And...and...what that would mean.”

“Oh come now, since when did you begin to care aboot that silly thing?”

“Only when I began to care about this silly thing.” Ivanka cupped his perfectly constructed face and nuzzled close before retreating away from him. “The polls are not good. If my father is no longer in office, we both know what that would mean – no more diplomatic relations between us; I wouldn’t never be let out of his sight if he loses and it would practically be called treason by the media outlets if I were to visit you with no ties to the new administration.” There was another strained pause as she walked back towards him. “I can’t let this end, Justin. You make me happier than anyone ever before. There is no one else like you.”  

“We simply have to make the most for the time we have and hope for the best. What else can we do?”

Ivanka’s eyes begged. “You’re the most powerful man in the world. There is one thing you can do.”

Justin gave a single laugh in shock, “Oh yes? And what might you be suggesting?”

“We need Zuckerberg to win the upcoming Midwestern primaries to secure the nomination.”

“Oh, now, now, ha. Ha ha. I love you, dear Ivanka, but you are asking me to risk quite a lot. For an ogre of a man!”

“For me! Not for him. And there is little risk for us! The deep state has all eyes looking eastward. My husband is in Moscow this weekend to throw them off track. One look in your eyes, and no one can distrust you. Lie your pretty lies, do whatever, just make us be together.” Ivanka softly kisses him and holds him in close. Justin ponders in silence, inhales deeply and finally embraces the hug.

---
The next morning, Ivanka awoke to 12 missed calls from her father. While she excused herself, Justin pulls out his handy binder, checking the index for Ivanka - page 578 - before scribbling in the latest details of his latest encounter, the 10th on this page - reaching double figures made him smile pridefully.

« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 09:15:46 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
I Know My State.
ChairmanSanchez
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 30,755
United States


Political Matrix
E: 5.29, S: -5.04

P

View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2017, 10:14:58 pm »

This is a masterpiece.
Logged
Confused Democrat
reidmill
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 1,975
United States


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2017, 10:50:47 pm »

10/10 keep going.

Logged



2018 Endorsements:
FL Governor: Andrew Gillum
FL Senate: Bill Nelson
FL-21: Ted Deutch
The Govanah Jake
Jake Jewvinivisk
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 3,349


Political Matrix
E: -2.39, S: -5.30

View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2017, 10:53:21 pm »

 Ver
y
Good
Logged
John A. MacDonald
bruhgmger2
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 1,465
Canada


Political Matrix
E: -6.32, S: -5.91

View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2017, 11:32:21 pm »

This is a masterpiece.
Logged

DFL
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 935


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2017, 11:36:15 am »

Logged
razze
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 2,275
United States


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2017, 11:18:42 pm »

Logged
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #15 on: August 30, 2017, 09:46:45 pm »

The Fifth Station: Scaramucci Helps Carry the Crisps
March 25, 2020 - Tampa, FL

Trump exited stage right after his brilliant speech at the event (rally) to restore national time and/or unity was broadcast all over America and America’s Hat on every news station except Fraud News CNN. He was greeted by his closest advisors who heaped worship and praises to curry good favour.

“Great use of the bully pulpit up there, Don! Impressive performance!”

“Thanks Chris. I think I’m really doing a number on this Justin guy. Bad dude - gives me very bad feelings. But don’t worry, I’ll pound him into submission soon enough.”

“Yeeeeesss, that’s what the point of this is. Anyway, just keep focus and we’ll keep pushing this all over next week. Ready to pack up for the Mar-a-Lago weekend?”

“Oh, Chris! Chris. Don’t tell me you missed the new itinerary. My sons and I are going golfing with Tiger Woods at Southern Plantations first thing tomorrow! Now that’s an awesome foursome! But believe me, I am not into that. I have a much better time in a foursome if it’s with women. Anyway, the course is about an hour north, so you can drive up behind us in the morning and get some Chick Fil-A catered for the afterparty. And if you plan on eating, you better bring twice as much! You know what we like!”

“My pleasure, Mr. President. We’ll pick this business up next week.”

“Attaboy, Chris.”

----

March 26, 2020 - Brookridge, FL

Chris Christie set out on the road around 10:30 coasting down the Suncoast Parkway, blasting every classic rock highway song on his Spotify playlist. He took the exit to Cortez Boulevard in seemingly no time at all.


Christie stepped out of his dark pick-up truck rental in sunglasses hoping to keep this as incognito as possible. His strides were very short as he cautiously walked through the doors.

“I’m picking up the really big catering order,” he mumbled to the man behind the counter trying to avoid attention and embarrassment.

“Ah, yes, let me check on that. We got 15 of the chicken deluxe combo. A dozen spicy chicken sandwiches. Five grilled chicken sandwiches. One chicken tortilla.” The tortilla was for a photo-op of course. The President wasn’t actually eating Mexican. “30 chicken biscuits. Oh and two dozen 4 piece chicken strips combos and ten of the 12 piece grilled nuggets. I’ll get your drinks in just a moment, sir. Thank you for your patience. Any particular sauces.”

“Just- all the sauces.” he waved his hand. “Lots of them.”

He received assistance loading the truck and set back out. Most of the local roads were blocked on account of the President’s impromptu appearance and Christie’s GPS turned all topsy turvy with the blockages. Three quick rights and he was on a road with a constantly changing name which he could not decipher. He kept following straight along an overpass over the Suncoast. ‘Drat, this doesn’t look right,’ he thought. Sure enough he was right. He passed Long Island Rd and Long Island Dr before hitting a cul de sac, knowing he gone the wrong way. He banged his phone on the dash in fury over its inadequacy in these circumstances. Once he self-navigated out a route back across the SunCoast, he turned the song volume back up and focused on making a timely arrival.

Christie belted along as it played:
Well, I been looking for a job, but it’s hard to find.
Down here it’s just winners and losers who don’t get caught on the wrong side of that line.
Well I’m tired of coming out on the losing end,
So honey, last night I met this guy, and I’m gonna do a little favour for him

Well, I guess, everything dies, baby, that’s a fact
Maybe everything that dies someday comes back
Put your-”


And on that note, a black truck with tinted windows driving behind Chris accelerated forcing his own truck to swerve straight off the road and slam into a tree farm as the faulty driver kept going. Fortunately a Good Samaritan in a Ferrari going the other way screeched to a halt and quickly did a u-turn about 10 yards behind Christie’s damaged vehicle. The driver stepped out - tall and dashing in his Italian-fitted suited and as handsome a face as you might ever see with eyes covered up by women’s designer sunglasses. He jogged his way up to the wreckage, screaming, “What the f[INKS]! Crazy b[INKS]!” he waved his hands above his head in disbelief. “What the f[INKS] is going on!”


Chris already began stumbling out of his car by the time the man had come up beside him. As he regained his awareness, he stuttered, “A-Anthony?”

“What the f[INKS]! Are you f[INKS]ing OK?! J---- H. C----. What the f[INKS] was wrong with that f[INKS]ing guy? Are you OK, man? That guy oughta be f[INKS]ing strangled and his d[INKS] chopped off. What a f[INKS]ing madman. You doing OK?!”

“Tony,” Chris began reaching out to grab him for balance. “Food,” he pointed at the bed of the pick-up.

“This is no time to break f[INKS]ing bread,! Capisce? You need to go to a f[INKS]ing hospital?”

“No, no. - Anthony. It’s Trump. He’s golfing. Lunch.”

“Here, here,” Scaramucci replied with knowing eyes behind the dark glasses. He blew a kiss to the clearly suffering Christie as a show of sympathy. “Get in my car, I’ll help you over. This doesn’t look any f[INKS]ing worse than the trash he normally eats. I’ll salvage what I can. Go take a seat, lie back. I’ll bring the stuff over.”

Scaramucci started bringing a couple of food containers out of Christie’s truck over to the trunk of his vehicle. In the passenger side, he stumbled upon Christie’s personal bag from which he pulled out a laptop and searched for the most damaged food container to empty and stash it in before carrying the box over to a tree. He took the remaining food that he could swung Christie’s bag over his shoulder before tossing it into the back of his car.

Anthony got into the driver’s seat of his Ferrari and whipped out his phone to plug in the address.

“So, weird to see you here. What brings you to this one-horse town, Anthony?” Christie confusingly pestered.

“Oh-uh-sorry, one sec” replied The Mooch as he plugged in the address. “I’ll also send a message for roadside assistance for that thing. One seeeeec. Done. Oh yeah, so Chris, I was at the rally last night just to see how the guy handled himself, you know, pretty good job, all things considered. And then today I’m driving up to see my parents this way since I’m down here - you got to pay a visit, but I stopped off for an iced coffee here at Dunkin Donuts.” He lifted the drink and continued his animated hand motions. “Long story short, what do you know, can’t get back on the f[INKS]ing main road. Blockages!”

Chris rested up knowing he needed to be energized when they arrived at the golf course. He jumped out of the car upon arrival where Donald and the group were waiting for their feast.

“Chris, what is the hold-up! I told you 12:30! This place is so overrated - you would not believe how much false advertising went into this!”

Like he never got into an accident at all, Chris sing-songily replied, “Look who I brought!”

The Mooch stepped out of the car, stone-faced. “Saw your tweet. Guess you missed me.” The Donald welcomed him to the celebration - his child that had come home. The Mooch was now back in the circle of trust as The Donald was regaled by his heroic tale. The feast filled the group with not a wicker basket left over.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2017, 08:29:08 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2017, 10:08:59 pm »

Short update to briefly introduce our newest protagonist so we can get into the real plot!

The Sixth Station: Victoria Swipes a Trace of Chris
March 25, 2020

Late in the evening, a black Maserati Quattroporte pulled up on that fabled wayside road with many names - an indistinct lady in the night illuminated the road by the abandoned vehicle. Zooming in on the phone, the message from The A[inks]man reads:

The olives are covering the lasagna.

“The f[INKS] am I supposed to do with that. Everything out here’s a f[INKS]ing olive tree.”

The image of the woman was now clear. That long platinum frayed hair was unmistakable. It was none other than Victoria Gotti of the Gambino Crime Family.


Victoria marched up and down the highway searching the olive trees, weapon drawn. She finally approached a plant where the branches had been partially severed by the events earlier that day. Gotti lifted slightly and saw what she had come for. She carefully cut the remainder of the branch and brought it back to her car with the floppy Chick Fil-A box.

She came back with a few tools including a flashlight be she shone out on the car, carefully opening the passenger door with a cloth.

“Bingo.” The gear shift presented her just the filthy prints she needed for full access to all the real dirt.


A montage ensues overlaid with "The Boss" by James Brown.
In the coming days, Victoria would not simply gain access to the contents of Chris Christie’s computer with his prints. Knowing the access would soon be terminated, she would request for shipments of additional hardware linked to the Trump children's secured email accounts to be routed to New York. There are flashes of her goons paying off the trucks where the packages are loaded to menacingly take control of the packages. The battle for New York was on, and the Gambino Family was finally about to start winning again with the best weaponry of all - if they could figure out how to appropriately use it. The rest of the summer into autumn was spent trying to discretely utilize their inside connection to win back their territory.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2018, 09:34:00 am by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2017, 11:06:23 pm »

The Seventh Station: Christie Fails for the Second Time
November 3, 2020
Mar-a-Lago

“Hello”
“Why hello there”
“My name is Barron”
“Is it?! My name is The Mooch”
“I like your glasses, The Mooch!”
Anthony smiled. “Do you?! Well, that’s a very colourful outfit you’ve got on yourself! I love how the layers go from white to blue to green to navy. It’s beautiful!”
“Oh! Why thank you!” Barron gave a wide-mouthed smile and daintily placed his hand over his heart. “I’m all about - The Fashion!” he screeched as he struck a pose. “So, what’s a Mooch anyway?”
“Oh, Mooch - it’s an ironic name!” Anthony snickered trying to create an impromptu backstory, drifting back into his accent. “I - I made a ton o’ money so people are always expecting me ta give em the best gifts and completely lounge out at my place like all the time. I'm a good friend ta all the moochers.”
“Ah! What a total Daddy!”
“Oh yeah, I forgot whose kid you were - I am a lot like your father!”
“Well, you know Christmas is coming up in like a month, and I really would love to have those sunglasses. Could you get me a pair?”
The Mooch chuckled and conceded. He took the sunglasses off of his own face and placed them on Barron, giving him a thumbs up. “I can get another pair in every gift shop in New York City.”
“Thank you, Daddy!” Barron graciously sang before running away.

Iconic cross-generational duos...a regular Alfred and Bruce Wayne.

Today had been Election Day, the most important cornerstone of American democracy, and Donald Trump had brought together his closest friends, donors and advisors in Mar-a-Lago to watch the results as they came down to the wire. The race way anybody’s game as both candidates held approvals in the high 20s!

While a few young Republican henchmen nervously drank in a corner in fear of their careers being turned upside down, the career politicians and donors indulged on the Trump’s finest foods with a complete sense of security. The television in the room was tuned into Sean Hannity’s coverage on the Trump News Network.

Donald began making the rounds backstage with select groups of his closest backers, making small talk and patting them on the back to thank them for their support. After a long night of showing gratitude, the teetotaler was feeling famished when he got to the other side of the room where Christie stood speaking with three corporate donors.

“Chriiiis!”
“Donald!” Christie imitated back, opening his arms for an embrace which came in the form of a side hug.
“Chris, do you believe this steak?” Trump enunciated every syllable. “I know you probably like it because you’ll have anything, but I’m going to have to go up to this chef at this place and tell him ‘You’re fired!’ This is not up to Trump standards. He barely cooked it! What’s one more job lost in this economy, huh?”

A donor mumbled inaudibly about how that spoke volumes about the state of the country these last four years.

“Anyway,” Donald continued. “I can’t get a new employee on this short notice. I was thinking, maybe you run out and get us some KFC, what do ya say? You know there’s a reason I built this place 10 blocks away from food heaven!”
Christie laughed maniacally like that time he short-circuited Rubio in the debate.
“I’m serious, Chris. We need some actual food or I’ll be in a terrible mood all night. This election has been really brutal lately.”
“Donald. We are at a party. Just enjoy it. There is nothing to worry about. The steak is great and so is the rest of the food. I’m not getting in a cab, pulling up to Kentucky Fried Chicken at this hour and getting boxed chicken - whatever - when we are having a perfectly fine time with all the luxuries you can ask for.

Donald was furious now. Not only did he have to fear not being re-elected - something even Barack Insane Obama could do - but he had a subordinate speaking back to him in front of his peers. And one he hated to boot! He was shouting now, “Chris, how many times have we been over this! You are my food-runner! You failed my son Jared once, and you failed me once and you’ve let me down so many times - so, so many  - it tears at my heart. Let me tell you something: you don’t have a clue! I do not like giving second chances and you continue to cross me!” And with that, he stuck his stubby fingers into Christie’s upper body blubber.

Christie for the first time in awhile was energized by the anger against him. He quickly became calmly unsubmissive. “Well, Donald, let me tell you something. After tonight, you will have no power over me. You have resurrected me, and one day I will rise even higher and save this party from the ashes of your name.”

Christie’s calm demeanor while threatening to power-grab made Trump furious and he grabbed Christie by the lapel now. “Listen here, you son of a b[Inks]: you will never work in this country again, and I will have no legacy that needs saving. I will go down in history as the people’s voice, and you will be an insignificant bug that few people know and those who do hate. You will show respect to me.”

Christie tried to make a retaliatory grab, but Trump quickly skedaddled out of his clutch in a rage. The donors with whom Christie was conversing tried to reassure him that Trump was merely a loose cannon and that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Christie continued shaking his head in disbelief.

Donald in what appeared to be an amphetamine-induced high speed-walked through the crowd until his eye caught who he had been looking for.

“Jeff. Jeff! Jeff Sessions! Hey, Jeff, come with me,” he pulled his sleeve, guiding him towards the nearest side room. “So, you remember that problem we’ve talked about?”

“Oh yes, yes,” he spoke in his thick, slow southron voice. “I’m working on it as we speak, Donald. Those no-good [n-words] won’t even know what hit them!”
“Oh fantastic, you’re doing great work, Jeff. Glad to have you on Team Trump. Can always count on you. But I was talking about our internal issue. You’ve got to find the dirt on Chris with the bridge or something. You’ve beleaguered this long enough. I can't have him succeeding me.”
“Now, Donald, I think we’ve been over this - we investigated that incident and there was nothing there. I have a long list of problem people that we need to get rid of first. These are serious problems. These people are very dark and dangerous and serious threats to our people’s safety. We don’t have time to prop up fake charges against someone on our team! Besides, how will that look to have someone so close to you facing charges?”
“How would it look?! How would it look if I replaced you with Jared? He would certainly love to make it a priority to extract vengeance on the man who took away his first father.”
“Ha! You couldn’t possibly appoint that cuck to a position of power? I reckon you may as well try appointing a [n-word] because they warrant more respect.”
“What? What word are you saying? He’s Jewish, of course he’s well-endowed.”
“Cuck! The word is cuck, Donald. Your son is a cuckold! I know it, Chris knows it, the whole d[INKS] Swamp knows it.
“Give me a break. I don’t buy that for a minute. Believe me, I know all about these tactics of branding people. They call me the master brander. Now, just leave Jared out of this, he’s not a real threat to you.”
“I know that! The Kush-dealers are a much bigger threat than Shylock or I would’ve taken care of him too! But there is nothing I can do about Chris. You need to learn to get along or find a way to move on on your own terms.”
“Thanks for nothing, Jeff! Just remember - everyone is replaceable - next time I need something, you need to deliver. Now how am I gonna get rid of lardo! Shoo! Go beleaguer yourself out of here.”

Sessions shrugged and went out the door first. Dr. Carson was passing right by the door at that moment Sessions tried to step out

“Hello, Jeff,” Carson amusingly smiled. “I thank the good Lord for granting me the opportunity to bump right into you this evening.”
“[N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word][N-word]” (Honestly, as you might expect Jeff Sessions just explode into litany of n-word like 100 times in a row, he say n-word. Even at Republican Party event, no one can believe this is happening even though they probably use n-word casually like every day. The party come to a standstill. Even Chris Cillizza begin to Periscope this classic New York moment before reminding his followers of Zuckerberg’s slightly shady morals for the 79th time [below]. Classic Cillizza tweet!)


After 5 seconds of silence, Carson quietly spoke. “This is why - everybody, hey everybody!” he began waving his magical hands. “this man - this is why I love working with this man every day. This is the love we get to experience in Donald Trump’s America, where he speaks in a way, where old hateful words have meanings changed and turned upside down - words that were once terrible are now a loving embrace. This is the racial harmony that Donald Trump has created in America. Come here, Jeff. Bring it in.

As Carson went in for a hug, a young woman began shrieking, “He’s got a knife!” The steak knife that Sessions was holding made contact with Ben Carson’s watch before it dropped to the ground.

“Would you look at that? Thank you Jeff. What a sweet gesture. A touching reminder of the moment when I found Jesus Christ of Nazareth in the holiest of books after owning up to my own indiscretions. What a re-enactment. When He is near, no harm can come.”

That eerie, unbelievable, and completely improbable series of events left the guests entirely confused and almost ashamed. Slowly but surely, the noise of the prior conversations returned to fill the room.

By 1:26 AM, Milo Yiannopoulos was brought on to Trump TV in front of a map to announce the re-election of America’s glorious leader. The suspicious events of the last night floated into the background as the joy of four more years would come around on the backs of the same Trump coalition.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2018, 09:33:53 am by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2017, 06:38:25 pm »

The Eighth Station is quite long, and I have little time to devote to writing, so I will break up into two posts - one in September 2022, one in February 2023.

The Eighth Station: Justin Meets the Three Women of Jerusalem
Part One

Somewhere in Long Island - September 26, 2022

September 23, 2022
Dear Ms. Gotti:

It has long been in our team’s view that you have been utilizing tangible and intangible federal property and resources. We understood it to be used for internal Family affairs. Until now, we have taken no official stance in mob business, and thus, we have allowed it to continue while monitored; however circumstances have changed. We request a meeting with you immediately. Please use your pseudonym associated with your most recent account and pick up the identification badge at the West Security Gate on Monday at 8:30 PM. The President requests an immediate audience. This is an offer you can’t afford to refuse for yourself, your family and your country.

Please remember this is a high security zone - do leave behind all items that could be classified as dangerous weapons.

Sincerely yours,
The Donald J. Trump Administration


“F[inks].” Gotti murmured, staring off into space, wondering about the consequences of what he had gotten herself into. She had removed all uncertainty from her life by taking control; she hated the feeling of her empire and essence in someone else’s hands. But here we were...

---
The White House

Trump sat with a bowl of popcorn in a dark room of the White House faintly lit by his nightly programming.

Welcome back to the 8:00 NewsHour on Fox News Channel, babe! I’m Caitlyn Jenner, and as promised, we open this segment with our 2022 SHOCK POLL Alert! A new Wainwright Analytics survey of the New York Senate race puts Majority Leader Chuck Schumer in a dead heat - in fact, they are exactly tied - tighter than Kris’ tubes! 46% a piece. With that we turn it over to our expert bronz, an independent contributor from New Jersey - now bronz, this was widely seen as one of the safest seats - tell us what happened.



Thank you Caitlyn (R-CA). It is a traditional, warm mild September night here in New Jersey. Much like the weather in New Jersey, I (I-NJ) am a moderate. Some people are too far left, some people are too far right. Both sides get violent. Some people see people attack minorities, but then you sometimes see people with unnatural hair colours beat up white people too. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) is very far left however. GOP star Susan Lucci (R-NY) is a moderate like me. She is good at appealing to the Italian enclaves. The Italians can get a little feisty though and can make this tilt GOP with good turnout. I know some Italian-Americans living in NYC enclaves in NJ, NY, CT, and PA who vote for some Republicans. They vote for both sides though because both sides can be violent. Susan Lucci (R-NY) makes them vote GOP, and she is winning the battle in the Italian enclaves where this race will be won. Bill Thompson (D-NY) might have been able to eat into her Italian-American enclaves, but Chuck Schumer (D-NY) is very far left and playing racial games with BLM. The moderates don’t like that. Sometimes they see gays beating up straight kids too, and Chuck Schumer (D-NY) only speaks out against one but not the other. They are feisty, but they don’t like when either side gets violent, so they are considering voting for Susan Lucci (R-NY). By the way, how can I put my state, New Jersey, on the screen?

Are you serious? You’ve been on this show for three years, and you can’t figure out how to get screen time for your state, babe. Oh well. Thanks, babe! Sounds like a really fierce battle in the streets of New York. Speaking of fierce battles, how’d you get a black ‘I’, babe?

I was speaking to a black or gay Schumer supporter and I told him to f[inks] his feelings. The black or gay people don’t think about anything - they just do whatever their feelings say with no regard for the rest of us. F[inks] their feelings.

Oh, I hope you feel better, babe! Alright, next up: kale vs. cabbage - which one is actually the nutritious supplement you need? The answer may surprise you.


---

The camera goes back to the dark room now and from behind the couch pans up from the floor - in the front of the shot, we slowly rise up the knee-high boots of the new entrant in the room, who is standing still, gazing over the couch quietly.


“You wrote, Mr. President.” It was a statement of fact and annoyance rather than a question.

Without taking his eyes off the tv, Donald remained unstartled, “Victoria. You made a wise decision to show.” He struggled out of his seat now and leaned on the armrest to hold his weight. “Now you’ve dug yourself quite a rabbit hole. The Trump administration. You thought you would infiltrate the Trump administration? That’s some serious stuff. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of people for a lot less.”

“Why are we here, Donald? You aren’t our usual enemy, and you know this isn’t about you. I've even brought an olive branch to show our good faith.” She set it on the wooden side table next to the entrance.

“That’s a good question - why are we here?”

“Because YOU started going after the MS-13 gang on Long Island, which are NOW no longer THERE to divert the attention of the OTHER families, and we needed an inside edge just to keep up.”

“Oh, Victoria...Victoria, Victoria, Victoria. You know I don’t like to get involved in the wops’ business dealings. It’s just my world’s politics.”

“If we ain’t talkin’ business, why am I here then, huh?”

“You’ve been around long enough to know that doesn’t mean I don’t do business with you people. It was just until now, I let your internal politics be and hoped you would let me play my politics, but you invaded my world, Victoria.”

Victoria defiantly sighed and rolled her eyes at the dramatic telling. “Get on with it, Donald.

“There doesn’t have to be bad blood between us. I can provide help to your little situation with the Families - we are going to have quite the business relationship now. How would you like to be the next Senator from New York?”

“Senator?! Do I look like a f[INKS]ing Senator to you? A 60-year old woman running a crime family going into the Senate! Who the f[INKS] is going to vote for me in this convoluted plan of yours, dumb Don.”

“Hey!”, he began pointing and restrained himself. “You leave the votes to me once I get you on the ballot. You can use the office as you need for your Family’s affairs to counteract any damage I may have caused in crushing the MS-13. And you will have full legal access to this Administration’s resources - no need to do it behind the weeds anymore.”

“And what is it that I am doing for you in this arrangement, Mr. King of the Deal?”

“I need bipartisan support for an historical piece of legislation. You will be my guide to introduce it. Plus an ongoing...business relationship...is always useful to maintain. I think we’ll find that your office and your external connections will be hugely helpful to me and that my position will be big league helpful to your goals maybe more than anything ever before.”

After about 20 seconds of silence where Victoria stood in deep thought, caressing the skin below her dangling mouth that showed signs of four decades of a nicotine addiction. She said, “Yuh. Yuh, OK, let’s do this. I’m in.” She nodded to the President and went right back out the exit.

When he was alone again, he took a seat and placed the popcorn bowl back on his lap. Trump withdrew the phone from his pocket which further illuminated his face. He squinted and tried to bring the tiny screen into the proper sight distance until he finally dialed the Senate Minority Leader.

“Chuck. I saw the polls. Yeah, we all knew the time would come.” Pause. “You know I don’t want to see the Democrats lose this seat, I need someone I can count on. And that Lucci is just another New York woman trying to cause me trouble.” Pause. “Chuck, no. No, no, Chuck. Chuck, I can’t come out in support of you - the press would kill me. Your time is up.” Pause. “You have reached your expiration date...You are going to withdraw from this race mid-day tomorrow.” Pause. “Cuz if you don’t, I will share with everyone the whole story of your ancestry and just how much of a Gentile you really are. I’m sure that’ll go over well in New York.” Pause. “You can either drop out now with self-respect or drop out next week in complete disgrace - and if you fight to the finish, either way, you will lose your final race.” Pause. “I already have your party a winning candidate waiting in the wings - and you will stand behind her the moment you drop. Believe me, I am committed to protecting this seat - I do not want to have a Republican Congress that can override my authority.” Pause. “Yes, think about it, Chuck. For Party and Country. Yeah, yeah, let’s talk in the morning.” Trump squinted confirming the beep at the end of the call had indeed ended it and tossed the phone aside.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2017, 11:24:09 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
scutosaurus
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 834
United States


Political Matrix
E: -1.10, S: -7.57

View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #19 on: September 27, 2017, 04:49:48 pm »

Logged

Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2017, 10:42:21 pm »

Part 2

February 23, 2023
CNN

“At this hour in the newsroom we head down to our nation’s capital for the contentious vote on the proposed Constitutional amendment to shift the Presidential election and selection process to a successor as determined by the sitting President. Critics say this may be a blow to democracy, but the bill’s sponsors say that those who oppose it are unpatriotic and do not support the leaders of this country. Freshman Democratic Senator Victoria Gotti has teamed up with Republican Roy Moore to help push this through, and many additional Senators from the New Generation have signed on as co-sponsors for this historic legislation including Senators Kid Rock, Curt Schilling, Kelli Ward, Paul LePage, Jim Justice and of course, the two babies of the Caucus, Jack Posobiec and Bristol Palin.

The Republican House passed the amendment narrowly last evening - not without a bit of a fracas on the House floor initiated by the Democratic caucus - but a huge hurdle has been completed. Potential defections in the Senate which may make this vote very close include both Marco Rubio and Rand Paul, who decline to say which way they are leaning at this time. Minority Leader Mark Warner has vowed for tonight’s vote to be much more civil and has denounced protests occurring outside the Capitol, vouching for patience with our democratic processes. Foreign leaders from around the world including our neighbors Justin Trudeau and Andrés Manuel López Obrador have come to Washington this week in hope of getting an ear of some of the undecided Congressmen to keep a liberal democracy in this part of the world.

Donald Trump has not commented publicly in support of this amendment, but if it were to pass, leaks from behind the scenes are indicating that it is widely expected amongst his staff that son-in-law Jared Kushner may be next in line for the Oval Office when the time comes for Trump to step down. Hillary Clinton, who of course has her own stake in this game, has called today ‘a dark day for the future of democracy’ and has interjected herself into the liberal coalition from abroad for some incomprehensible reason as if she were not totally toxic to the Republican Senators they are trying to flip."

--
US Capitol

During that time, Roy Moore was whipping the final votes needed for passage via a closed-door meeting with Marco Rubio.

“Why helloooooooo, Marco?" I’ll make this short - I’ve recently discovered a photo of you from 1990 with a young man doing some highly…”
“I’m out!” Marco smacked the table.
“What?”
“Yeah, I’m out, you got me. I'm out of the opposition, I’ll vote for the amendment.”

--
White House

Anthony and Donald sat strategizing - Anthony like a king in an armchair and Donald hunched over, almost pouting on the long couch. There was a silent, tense angst in the room. The Mooch was doing the best he could to keep it a bit lighter.

“This isn’t going to work, the Little Boy has been causing me headache after headache,” Donald agonized.
“Donald, I spoke with Roy. He felt really good about this - as long as we can deliver our promises to him to get onto the Supreme Court.”
“Maybe I should tweet something nice about Rand Paul. He never forgave me for hitting his face in ‘16 debates. We can end the grudge with some game theory. Kill him with kindness.”
“Don’t - you shouldn’t. Don’t waste your ammo. You got to look tough if we want to forcefully take this country. A weak leader is setting himself up for a successful revolt from the left activists. Any tweet can cause an outrage.”
“Maaaybe just one tweet though with 280 characters - one modarn tweet for a MODARN DAY PRESIDENT.”
They tussled briefly for the phone, but Donald was a 76-year-old man and his stamina wore out when the sudden ringing made The Mooch exert additional strength. It way Roy Moore, calling to report the success of Operation Gator Prey. The Mooch answered and informed Donald that the amendment was ready to pass the Congress and move on to the states where support had been carefully built in advance during the previous election.

With the stress relieved, Donald jumped up and rushed down the hall to Ivanka and Jared’s guest room to share the news. Trump BERST into the darkened room full-speed. “Hey, Jarry! Great news!”

But the figures that popped up from the bed did not include Jared Kushner. Ivanka shrieked and covered herself, and Justin Trudeau was beside her, trying to look calm in his startled state, but his eyes couldn’t hide it.

“Hi Dad,” answered Jared, crouched on the floor on the far side of the room.
“Jared! What are you doing over there!” And then his mind had a flashback to his confrontation with Jefferson Sessions on the evening of the 2020 election.

Cuck! The word is cuck, Donald. Your son is a cuckold!

“Oh no. Oh, no, oh no, oh no. No no no.” And with that, Donald backed away and speeded right back down the hall. All the best-laid plans were ruined by sexual perversion! Who could have dreamed that up!

The trio of romantics remained in their positions, but Ivanka began to whimper. She knew her world was going to crumble too. “Justin!” she sniffled. “You have to take us back with you. I can’t stay here in anymore.”
“I have a wife. And a country that believes in me! I am destined to lose even more from such an arrangement!”
“But Canada is so much more socially progressive than America. Perhaps one day they can accept us! You haven’t even asked your wife if she might be into it too!”
“Oh, she’s definitely into it. But I can’t! I’m not an orgy guy! It changes everything! No, I’m not ready for it. I’ve got to be a prime minister.”
“She’s into it and you’re not going to do it?!?
“Ivanka, I’m sorry, but…”
“Oh no, you can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister - your love is so much stronger than that your will to govern because you will be sacrificing that for justice. You may take a short-term loss for me, but in the history books, you will still be the dreamy hero that everyone sees you as. Sometimes it is those out of power who take a stand for their beliefs that are fondly remembered as the most heroic. I mean, come on, it’s 2023! We should be accepting these love arrangements by now. Any Liberal could lead Canada, but only one Liberal could love me. Find a trustworthy successor - one who you would still have influence with - and lay down your title for the sake of love and social progress.”

Ivanka grasped Trudeau’s impressive biceps, and he responded with a passionate lover’s embrace signifying an obvious yes to her proposed arrangement. Ivanka yelled to Jared to get Arabella to pack - the Jewish trio from the Trump clan was moving on to Canada.

--
“Well, Anthony, it looks like we got everything in place but the apprentice,” Trump somberly reported. Trump felt alone and abandoned by those closest to him - his own family, which could do no wrong, had done wrong. When pressed, he didn’t have the heart to expand. All he knew was that Jared was clearly out of the Contest.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2017, 10:56:09 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2017, 10:51:42 pm »

As the calendar flips to October, I am very pleased to make this into a horror story with the previous chapter. Of course, this also signifies the three-month mark in the writing process (or 9 parts out of 27) meaning that the first trimester is complete, and it is officially too late to terminate. This story must proceed as once imagened by God (Larry David) long ago.
Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
I Know My State.
ChairmanSanchez
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 30,755
United States


Political Matrix
E: 5.29, S: -5.04

P

View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #22 on: October 03, 2017, 01:24:15 pm »

Senator Pasobiec!
Logged
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2017, 07:40:21 pm »

The Ninth Station: Christie Fails for the Third Time
Canada - March 1, 2023


“My dearest Canadian sistren and brethren -

I am not certain how to pronounce this, but a Quebecois friend of mine tells me...I believe it’s ménage à trois?

Nevertheless, on my own accord, I have determined that I must pursue an alternative lifestyle for the best of my loved ones, and I am pleased to be joined by my American guests - nay, American lovers. I hope that one day, my people of Canada will learn to accept this decision and this lifestyle. But for now, due to the conflict of interests involved, I have decided to remove myself from this position as your prime minister. But I promise to leave you in very capable hands.

Before I take my leave from public life, I have decided to take a final few acts of office. The current Order of Succession is hereby decreed obsolete. For the first time since 2006, I will fill the office of Deputy Prime Minister - the office which my father created for our wonderful nation - by appointing former Premier Christy Clark, and I hereby make Ms. Clark first in the Canadian order of succession. After my resignation effective this Friday at noon American Standard Time, Ms. Clark will be the new Canadian prime minister and has my endorsement to continue leading the Liberals heading into the next election.

As for me, I will continue in good faith to serve whatever humanitarian purposes that Socially Tolerant Divine Being guides me to be a part of. Though I resign the office, I will always be here for Canada and her people and available to advise the very capable Ms. Clark into the future. This is a transition we will all get through together.

Let the Socially Tolerant Divine Being bless this good country of ours and guide us all into a most egalitarian future through Ms. Clark. Thank you for the pleasure to serve in this official capacity.”

---

Canada - March 6, 2023


“We will deliver a countrywide universal child care program that is safe! That is accessible! And that is affordable! We will start by creating more spaces to help families waiting months or years for quality care and training more early childhood educators because developing critical thinking skills at a young age will create socially tolerant adults.”

Christy Clark’s inauthentic programme of promises was intended to enthuse a new national audience and reshape her image as a caring provider, but much of the response that rained down was the heckles. The newly formed British Columbia Independence Party had begun building up its numbers rapidly in response to the news that the woman they took out had risen again. The sexist attacks from the far left were on full display with the signs against Clark’s waffling and insufficiently left-wing agenda (“Canada won’t be great until the Fat Lady Singhs”; “Let’s Take a Shot in the Clark!” accompanied with violent weapons banned from first world countries like Canada long ago; and “Lying Witches Will Get Lots of Stitches” accompanied by Clark photoshopped with a witch’s hat and a green skin filter). The brave woman remained resilient through her speech under constant harassment and threat of violence - a great reassurance to the members of her actual party that she was the one with whom they could identify - an inspiring symbol of feminine strength.

---

White House - March 15, 2023

Chris Christie was alive and well, gripping his steering wheel with his left hand and a chicken drumstick in the other, bobbing his head to the music and taking the ever frequent bite. He took a wide turn to pull into the White House and grabbed the bag of Donald’s food and headed in with his delivery.

For the first time in many years, Donald Trump was a nervous wreck. A complete slob. He felt he had lost it all. Typically immune from embarrassment, the one constant in his life through it all had disappeared without warning. It had been a long couple of weeks. No golfing. No public appearances. Not even good ol’ lounging on the couch watching the news. It was panic. Anxiety. Anger. And true feelings of solitude that he could no longer deny to himself.

Chris approached Donald with a warm but reserved greeting to show compassion for his hurting boss.

Donald grabbed the bag with his left hand, patted Christie on the back and went in for a handshake.

“AGHHHHHHH!!!” the President shouted. “Chris!! What f[INKS]! What the f[INKS], Chris!”
“What?”
“Your hand is covered in grease, you f[INKS]ing fat slob.” Donald’s depression had subsided and morphed into all-out anger. He opened the bag to peer at the contents. Christie backed away raising his hands with the palms out to create a bit of distance. “There’s two f[INKS]ing wings in here! What the f[INKS], Chris. Chris - what the f[INKS], you fat f[INKS], piece of s[INKS].”
“There’s another box beneath it, Mr. President. And even a box of fries too.” Chris had to think on the fly how to deal with someone deep into their dementia already without insulting too much, but the Donald was not known for his thick skin in the best of times.


“Get the f[INKS] out of my house,” Donald calmly told him. And then he pushed him, “Get Out!” and finished with a loud bellow of “OUUUUUUUUT!” Donald wasn’t sure where he was, but he was sure of what his feelings told him about his subordinate - that fat face and his constant failures only reminded him of one thing - his son-in-law’s pervertedness and by extension his daughter’s indiscretions. “You are so f[INKS]ing fired, you were fired yesterday!!! Get the f[INKS] out of my house, right now!”

Christie figured he had nothing left to lose, and on the way out with the door half-open, turned back around and countered, “Oh, by the way, Donald - there was also some chicken breast in there - they were real, and they were spectacular!” And he rubbed his stomach with his greased up hands (ruining his white shirt) and grinned a victorious smile to have the last laugh. Another one out the door.

Not only did Donald no longer have a successor. He now barely had anyone reliable handling the day-to-day itineraries of the remainder of his administration.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2018, 09:33:34 am by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
sjkqw
YaBB God
*****
Posts: 10,365
Italy


Political Matrix
E: -4.90, S: 1.74


View Profile Show only this user's posts in this thread
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2017, 08:08:02 am »

The Tenth Station: Christie is Stripped of His Chiefdom


March 24, 2023
Myrtle Beach

It was the first night of a weekend retreat in South Carolina for the Trump family - but for Donald, this was the first night when he wasn’t in full retreat mode. Trump created a mediastorm for the weekend coverage with his biggest shake-up in several years. After a surprising string of continuity, the architect of the administration’s policy achievements was ousted, but the real estate mogul had much bigger things planned than public policy initiatives. After all, business was never done.

The close Trump Family was dining privately in a faux outdoor restaurant terrace on what was an otherwise frigid evening outside its doors. The scattered skylights illuminated the restaurant with an abundance of natural lighting to make up for the cold. At a roundtable, the remaining members of the clan sat with their beloved confidante Anthony Scaramucci, who had become an extension of the family in the second (indefinite) Trump term.

Around the table they went, providing orders to the Caucasian waiters pre-screened to be in the restaurant.

“I’ll have the half serving of pork tenderloin,” croaked a stuttering Don Junior.
“I’ll have that too,” Eric half-interjected, half-whimpered across the table, uncertain about speaking out of turn.
“I’ll start with the brahzjoot sampler, the pappa-dolle bow-loan-yase as the entree and close out with the zeppole. Bada bing, bada bing, bada boom!” You guessed who.
“May I have the biiiig salad?” Barron widened his hands and fluttered his eyelashes and nodded at the server’s acknowledgment.
“Filet-mignon well-done for me and the spinach tortellini for Melania - I need her to stay thin. Thank you! Can you clear the room for my 5:30 appointment - big, secret legislative business - we can’t have this getting out now could we?”


The waitstaff cleared the room, and the secret service escorted Senator Gotti to the table and guarded the doors. Everyone but Donald seemed to have an uncomfortable reaction to the chill that entered.

“Victoria! So glad you were finally able to come meet my family! You know Anthony, right?”
“Mmm, don’t believe I do. Mr. Scaramucci, pleasure.” They shook hands.
“How’s that new Porsche treating you, Victoria? I bet it’s really something,” Trump schmoozed her up. “Maybe I’ll even have to get you a bike to match, then really no one would mess with you.

“You’ve done good work for us, Victoria, and we’re very happy to be in business with you. Our two Families - the government and the mafia - have a long history with each other to take down the government’s enemies as you very well know. John Fitzgerald Kennedy and the mafia were in cahoots to try to take out Trudeau’s uncle Fidel - very bad guy, enemy of America. And Ronald Reagan was very close with the mafia - including your father, in fact. Two of our best presidents before me! And his wife Nancy was in on it too. And their son was a capo in Arizona if I remember correctly, do you believe that?”

“We get it, you read a history book, Don, now out with it? We going after this Trudeau fella? That’s a lot of manpower to successfully execute”

“Patience, Victoria. Patience. I don’t think any President has done more for the mafia than me, so I’m going to have to start getting favors. Especially because if my daughter has any more wedding days, I’m going to be giving out favours galore.

“But no, Justin is not the target. That would mean putting Ivanka in harm’s way. And I give my Family,” Donald outstretched his arms, showcasing his circle of trust. “A chance to come home.”

“This is about sending a message. That I’m not afraid to go after the traitors who wrong me. This is about Christie. I decided last night that you are going to kill Christie. That’ll make sure they get the message while disposing of a menace full of dirt and secrets.”

Victoria’s adrenaline was pumping as she nodded aggressively. She was not just back in the game; she was about to be back on top if she could flawlessly execute. “I love it, Don. I’m all in. But I like to make sure my client are happy. And to be happy, they need to know what they are getting into. Christie’s full of secrets? Ain’t he got any on your son-in-law - I mean the Jewy one not the new guy. I thought they hated each other. Won’t he want Christie dead?”

“I went down that avenue, Victoria, and no, Chris has nothing; there is nothing useful in that brain. We’re putting down a dumb, stupid dog here. And I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I didn’t know my Family. Jared might be happy and smile for a brief moment, but then he will be scared, looking over his shoulder and begging like a dog to come back.”

“Alright.”

“OK?”

“Let’s make it happen, Don!” Victoria turned out immediately to begin plotting.

There was a moment of silence as the Family absorbed what had just happened until a voice piped up: “Wow, daddy. That was fierce.” Donald put on his stupid grin, ruffled Barron’s hair and kissed the top of his head, proud of his son.

Melania got up to use the restaurant and motioned for Barron to tag along leaving Donald, the Mooch, and the two eldest boys.

“You know that boy is really something,” asserted Donald. He looked down at his plate, appearing deep in thought and when he looked up again he made eye contact with The Mooch and looked over to Junior with a disdainful side-eye. “I really, really think, he’s going places. Tony, with you as my witness, he is going to be my successor. Now, I know he’s not old enough now, so if I go before he’s ready, you boys will be there for the transition, but I’ve made my decision - Barron is the next-in-line. I love you guys, but he said it - I mean, wow, he’s fierce. He has leadership and longevity that will create a secure lineage for our name.”

“Unbelievable. I guess this is what happens when Barron has to have the BIIIIIIIIIG Salad!” whined Don Junior, waving his arms. “I’m the oldest child, and he gets everything!”

“Fredo was the oldest child too, you stupid hipster doofus! You’re lucky I’m letting you keep the seat warm. Anthony, I’m trusting you with this transition - you’ve become such a trusted role model for Barron.”
« Last Edit: May 13, 2018, 03:43:05 pm by Sprouts Farmers Market ✘ »Logged

Fashion. Football. Furniture Shopping.
LIPINSKI * LYNCH * LAMB
Vote for Cuomo not the homo!

One True Passion: the timeline
The Hottest PG-13 Tale Allowed on the Atlas Forum



Spend my dollar ON BEER
Parked in a holler...ROLL TIDE
Hold her uptight AGAINST THE WALL
Make a little lovin' ALL NIGHT
Beat AUBURN AND LSU ✓ and The Citadel too
Pages: [1] 2 Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  


Login with username, password and session length

Logout

Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines