Does this story describe someone on this forum?
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Author Topic: Does this story describe someone on this forum?  (Read 479 times)
Devout Centrist
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« on: August 07, 2017, 12:20:30 PM »
« edited: August 07, 2017, 12:24:50 PM by Devout Centrist »

A liberal transgender Jewish Muslim Liberalist Non Binary professor was teaching a course on Karl Marx, noted Liberal.

"YOU MUST GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SAY LIBERALISM IS THE GREATEST HUMAN INVENTION EVER", the professor yelled like the harpy it was. "EVEN BETTER THAN BREWSKIS OR TRILBIES".

At that moment, a trilby wearing student (who is definitely not morbidly obese) stood up, his sick flame shirt blinding the harpy Jew professor in a second. "Hey Liberal," he snorted. "What's this brewski's gender?"

The professor let out a smug, liberal laugh. "It gets to decide its gender you sh*tlord".

"WRONG!" The student said. "Brewski's are brewski's. The only gender they have is ICE COLD".

The professor immediately began bleeding from their urethra and cried loudly, sobbing everywhere like liberals always do when faced with facts. The same facts that show that rape is rare and most women are faking it. No doubt the professor hoped that it could get a strong man to care for it, but it was repulsive to all but the most hardcore liberals!

The unnamed student was applauded and cheered by the class. They bought him fifty bags of cheetoes and Guy Fieri himself signed his sick flame shirt. Everyone enjoyed a cold brewski and began an anti-liberal sh*tposting crusade that caused all the liberals to commit suicide out of desperation. The student ate 20 pounds of cheetoes a day and bought a new sh*tposting machine at Best Buy, all without gaining any weight. Much later in his life, after getting laid by every attractive woman on earth and disproving rape was a thing, he would visit the grave of his old professor, to sh*tpost on top of its own grave.



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Associate Justice PiT
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« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2017, 12:28:27 PM »

     No, because people on Atlas are not that hilarious. Sad
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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2017, 12:41:25 AM »

And that student's name was Albert Einstein.
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Orthogonian Society Treasurer
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« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2017, 05:10:07 PM »

A bigamist protestant icon smasher, church burner and priest buggerer was teaching a class on Henry VIII, known heretic.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Martin Luther and accept that he was the most inspired prophet the world has ever known, even greater than the Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a wise, devoted, loving, Opus Dei member who had led 1500 sinners to Christ and understood the necessity of papal infallibility and fully supported all theological decisions made by the Bishop of Rome stood up and held up a rock.

”Is this rock solid?”

The arrogant hun smirked quite blasphemously and replied “Clearly it is solid. What is your point?”

"This rock is as solid as the rock Jesus founded his church upon - the rock of St. Peter, for even in your heathen manuscripts Lord Jesus says 'On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it.'”

The protestant was visibly shaken, and dropped his condom and copy of the The Ninety-Five Theses. He stormed out of the room crying those protestant crocodile tears. The same tears protestants cry for the “inquisition” (while today witches and pagans are rarely even maimed and immolated) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the Vatican. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Martin van Oranje, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a protestant hate-spewer and blasphemer. He wished so much that he had a priest right now to baptise him.

The students applauded and were all baptised Catholic that day and liberated themselves from guilt and punishment due to Original Sin. An archangel named “Mary, Queen of Heaven” flew into the room and perched atop the keys to Heaven given to St. Peter by Jesus and shed a tear on the condom. The Nicene Creed was read several times, and God himself showed up and told Orthodox believers that they were wrong.

The protestant was forgiven for his sins and accepted, gratefully and joyously, into the Church . He died fighting as a martyr for the faith and was collected into the bosom of Jesus after his death.

Amen
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