Orthogonian Society Treasurer
CommanderClash
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« on: August 13, 2017, 05:10:07 PM » |
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A bigamist protestant icon smasher, church burner and priest buggerer was teaching a class on Henry VIII, known heretic.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Martin Luther and accept that he was the most inspired prophet the world has ever known, even greater than the Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a wise, devoted, loving, Opus Dei member who had led 1500 sinners to Christ and understood the necessity of papal infallibility and fully supported all theological decisions made by the Bishop of Rome stood up and held up a rock.
”Is this rock solid?”
The arrogant hun smirked quite blasphemously and replied “Clearly it is solid. What is your point?”
"This rock is as solid as the rock Jesus founded his church upon - the rock of St. Peter, for even in your heathen manuscripts Lord Jesus says 'On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it.'”
The protestant was visibly shaken, and dropped his condom and copy of the The Ninety-Five Theses. He stormed out of the room crying those protestant crocodile tears. The same tears protestants cry for the “inquisition” (while today witches and pagans are rarely even maimed and immolated) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the Vatican. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Martin van Oranje, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a protestant hate-spewer and blasphemer. He wished so much that he had a priest right now to baptise him.
The students applauded and were all baptised Catholic that day and liberated themselves from guilt and punishment due to Original Sin. An archangel named “Mary, Queen of Heaven” flew into the room and perched atop the keys to Heaven given to St. Peter by Jesus and shed a tear on the condom. The Nicene Creed was read several times, and God himself showed up and told Orthodox believers that they were wrong.
The protestant was forgiven for his sins and accepted, gratefully and joyously, into the Church . He died fighting as a martyr for the faith and was collected into the bosom of Jesus after his death.
Amen
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