The News Dispenser (HST to GM)

[Leinad]

The News Dispenser

Atlasia's Most Trusted, Fair, and Awesome News Source! ^{[citation needed]}

obligatory lame logo:

thanks to Peebs, Seinfeld, and myself for the name

The News Dispenser Ticker - Harry S. Truman becomes Game God - erratic former President resurfaces from self-exile to make newspaper - Lincolners confused by senate election between two Southerners: "this makes no sense, we're supposed to move there, not the other way around..." - celebrity divorce SHOCK!!!! - Congress: "maybe it's a bad idea to spend money we don't have?" - 12 Most Outrageous TNF Bills (#7 Will Shock You) - The News Dispenser Ticker

[Leinad]

Archive

11.29.17 - An Introduction
11.30.17 - Harry S. Truman Becomes Game God

[tmthforu94]

Run for Governor in January!!!

[Terry the Fat Shark]

Is this where we appoint you supreme court justice for the South after the old one was removed for being incompetent? 𝄇⥀.⥀𝄆

[Enduro]

Endorsed! (whatever it is you're announcing)

[fhtagn]

[wxtransit]

The first time I saw this I forgot I was in the Fantasy Elections forum and I thought this was a new timeline

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

[reserved for another post I will need in the cryptic thing I'm teasing]

"cryptic" --> codes --> secrets --> secret societies bent on world domination

Leinad is Illuminati confirmed!

[Lincoln Republican]

I have the inside scoop.

He is deregistering.

[Enduro]

I have the inside scoop.

He is deregistering.

Not even in fun...

[Türkisblau]

It's f[inks]ing Atlasia. You're not announcing the release of a movie trailer or something ffs

[Leinad]

He is deregistering.

Sorry, you can't get rid of me that easily.

It's f[inks]ing Atlasia. You're not announcing the release of a movie trailer or something ffs

Yeah but this makes it much more fun (for me anyway )

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Are you pulling a Grover Cleveland?

[Leinad]

Are you pulling a Grover Cleveland?

No, I don't think a mustache would look good on me.


Computer fudged out and a semi-important real life thing came up--it'll still launch today but it is ever so slightly delayed...(I mean if you even count it as a delay since all I said was the date and it's still launching on that date )

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Well you're in GA, so you have less than 5 hours until it's not 11/29 anymore.

[Leinad]

Well you're in GA, so you have less than 5 hours until it's not 11/29 anymore.

Thanks! This is helpful since I, of course, don't know how to tell time.

[Leinad]

An Introduction

Yeah, yeah, it's a newspaper...all that suspense for a damn newspaper. But this isn't going to be just any newspaper. Let me explain...

I've been thinking a lot about Atlasia over the past year. Going through various personal problems and distractions, I mostly lost interest in the game. That's why I decided to take a bit of a break, because I didn't want to do it without enjoying it. The thing I realized is that Atlasia is, indeed, a game. I'm not saying that as if we shouldn't care about it, but rather that we all do it voluntarily. And as much as people remind me I could win [office] if I wanted to (as if I was forced to retire and am out of office against my will--lololol) why would anyone do anything voluntarily if they don't genuinely want to do it? We have too much non-voluntary crap in life to do something that's became a chore by choice, right?

So, basically, that's my premise: Atlasia should be fun. I have therefore decided to approach the game with a simple philosophy: have as much fun as possible! (And yes, an example of that is me doing all this ridiculous self-indulgent teasing stuff )

I have a bunch of ideas for The News Dispenser, and I plan to use all of them. As I said, this won't be any newspaper, it will be an outlet for my renewed interest in the game, my obsession for creating things, and an almost desperate desire to entertain people that has been with me my whole life. Lots of my ideas might be lame, but hopefully you guys will enjoy some of it. I can't promise it will forever be super active, but there are enough ideas in the pipeline to sustain probably an article a day for a week or so. (The first article not counting this will come up later tonight--stay tuned!)

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

thanks to Peebs, Seinfeld, and myself for the name

It's news about nothing.

[Leinad]

thanks to Peebs, Seinfeld, and myself for the name

It's news about nothing.

^Official alternate slogan.

[Leinad]

Harry S. Truman Elevated To Supreme Lord Of All Existence (Pending Senate Confirmation)

Mt. Atlymplas--In the wake of the recent message from the Oracle of Davephi that Game God 1184AZ is stepping down from his role atop the Pantheon, many people have speculated--silently and respectfully, of course--on what general politician will next be abruptly elevated to the status of Atlasian Deity.

Everyone was on the edge of their seats when the Oracle of Davephi stepped out to make the announcement. "It, like, uh, looks like it'll be something hairy, bruh" the Oracle said. "haha are you guys going to have some big hairy thing as your GM? Sounds pretty sick, my dudes!"

A confused onlooker responded "that can't be true!" To which the Oracle was like "yeah maybe I read it wrong, lemme go check, dudes..." After a few minutes: "nah, bruh, just checked again, it says it's true, man."

It didn't take long for the crowd to realize the Oracle meant it was none other than Harry Something Truman, the former holder of most offices, at some point or another. Presuming the Senate confirms him, Truman will take his place as Sole Arbiter of Truth for All Things. We expect the Senate to confirm him, given that he is more or less beloved (or at least respectfully tolerated) by everyone who has given a damn about Atlasia for at least three consecutive days since 2015.


The News Dispenser Ticker - erratic former President resurfaces from self-exile to make newspaper - Lincolners confused by senate election between two Southerners: "this makes no sense, we're supposed to move there, not the other way around..." - celebrity divorce SHOCK!!!! - Congress: "maybe it's a bad idea to spend money we don't have?" - 12 Most Outrageous TNF Bills (#7 Will Shock You) - The News Dispenser Ticker

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Good work!

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

If you going for that sort of thing, I will glad take any press appearances that come my way.   Serious or satirical, or maybe even a little bit of both.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

I love it.

[Mike Thick]

Happy to announce that I will be writing a regular column for this newspaper

[Enduro]

Glorious, and worth the wait.