Update for Everyone VII: Insert Something Philosophical Sounding Here

[parochial boy]

So I met a girl at an Indian wedding that I really fancied, and we basically spent the whole of the second night just talking to each other. Obviously I did nothing; and it doesn't really matter because she lives in Abu Dhabi and I'll never see her again. But you'd figure it should be pretty obvious when to make a move right? [/rant]

[parochial boy]

So I met a girl at an Indian wedding that I really fancied, and we basically spent the whole of the second night just talking to each other. Obviously I did nothing; and it doesn't really matter because she lives in Abu Dhabi and I'll never see her again. But you'd figure it should be pretty obvious when to make a move right? [/rant]

Not if you’re an incel.

Damn. Burn.

[parochial boy]

So, the gossip today from the crazy Clinton obsessed guy at my work in the employee lounge is that:

Michele Obama went to a doctor and it’s proven she’s a man. The Obama’s are going to be giving their children back to the real parents soon.
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are being investigated for treason against America.
Chelsea Clinton is not Bill’s legitimate daughter; Hillary committed adultery and she’s the child of another man.

That's interesting actually, I recently had a friend tell me that all the violence at the gilets jaunes was down to the Antifa - and that there were actually loads of terrorist attacks committed by Antifa, but the only reason we never hear about them is because there is a media cover up.

It's, um, fascinating how some people just create truths for themselves

[parochial boy]

So thanks to my new job, I've just been given access to my employer's private Swiss bank account's safe. Which means I get to go down to the vault where they keep all the Nazi gold and stuff.

All we've got there is server backups unfortunately

[parochial boy]

@ the Lufthansa lounge at BOS waiting for my flight to Zurich. Watching a Speedbird A380 taxi by. No brand represents freedom to me more than BA. (But Club World sucks and Heathrow T5 is a zoo!)

I would say something smartarse, but willkommen in Zürich!

This is the view from my apartment yesterday lunchtime. Gonna be honest, I like where I live

[parochial boy]

I was on tv last night! Featuring as "disappointed Switzerland fan" as we got beaten 3-1 by Portugal Cristiano Ronaldo.

Now need to spend today avoiding being murdered by England fans

[parochial boy]

tfw the sky is actually on fire

[parochial boy]

tfw the sky is actually on fire

Zurich, but in French? This will not do.

I'm a brave pioneer who has risked my life by moving across the language divide to live with our barbarian German speaking cousins

[parochial boy]

tfw the sky is actually on fire

Zurich, but in French? This will not do.

I'm a brave pioneer who has risked my life by moving across the language divide to live with our barbarian German speaking cousins

Bon courage mon gars

Danke vielmal. Ich werde überleben

[parochial boy]

TGV was an hour late because some idiot's cow managed to crap up the entire east of France's train network this afternoon. So now I have an 90 minutes of joy in the delight that is Gare Montparnasse and won't even get to Rennes until half past midnight.

Ama, but especially about how France needs to man up and start acting like a 21st century country

[parochial boy]

So yesterday, on the train home from work, I sat opposite the president of the Zurich Green Liberal Party. Because there is no way I would admit to recognising who that was  in public, I blanked him obviously - but today when I went food shopping, I ran into him again handing out leaflets outside the supermarket; and got a very obvious look of recognition.

So now I am a bit worried that I'm being stalked by woke centrists

[parochial boy]

The best thing about January. No school holidays means no tourists means no queues and we get the pistes all to ourselves

[parochial boy]

I miss snow. It's something that used to happen when I was a kid, and now it doesn't really happen any more. And that's kind of sad to be honest.

[parochial boy]

All event of over 1000 people have just been cancelled in Switzerland. So sports, concerts, Basel Carnival, the Geneva Motor show... are all off. I was supposed to go see Stormzy next weekend, so obviously not going to be able to that any more.

I mean, I don't want to be racist, but the Italians really need to take this as a sign that they need to sort their fücking shït out. It's all well and good being a laughing stock when it just means you change governments every two weeks; but relentless incompetence is not so funny when it starts killing people and impacting your neighbours