The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[YRABNNRM]

New year. New thread.

I would question whether he was the worst senator ever.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm just joking. You're a fine senator.

[YRABNNRM]

On the topic of "What will you be drinking tonight?"

Freedom.

[YRABNNRM]

Dies of exhaustion after preforming a 63-hour long filibuster on the Senate floor

Dies when air becomes privatised and he can no longer afford it

[YRABNNRM]

"How will the preceeding forumite die?"

Peacefully in his sleep...unlike those in the car with him

[YRABNNRM]

I'm wasted right now and got shot down by a fat chick.  Let's see I had 2 Miller Lites on the bus going up and about 6 Vodka and Red bulls along with 3 Cherry Vodka and Tonics then 2 Gin and Tonics along with 2 Cherry Vodkas and Tonics along with some Champagne at midnight then 3 Miller Lites on the bus ride back then 3 more back at my friend's place.  You guys should also try Cherry Vodka and Red Bull.  Then I danced on someone's coffee table then fell over to impress some ing girl who said she wanted to go home.  Wow, I'm ing wasted right now.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!  Let Rick Santorum be kicked out of office and the Murphys gets elected to the US House!  Salut and Cheers!

[YRABNNRM]

Pat your stories are ing great!

patrick man I think I did exaggerate a bit, but you have to remember it was over a period of time between 8 and 4 last night.  I lost count, but I know I had a lot to drink and that number was at least 15 and it was open bar so I had to take advantage of the $100 I spent to go to this place.   I had 5 drinks within the first hour at the place and that's after drinking 2 beers on the bus.  And yes patrick1, I'm sure you would love to know there was a "police presence" so to speak because there was about 2 separate fist fights that some strippers caused.  One guy had blood pouring down the side of his face.  Chairs were being thrown and of course that killed the good time at the end and about 5 women were hiding behind me.  Although I'm Irish, I am not a violent drunk, but I become far more aggressive with the opposite sex and I'm sure I made myself look like an idiot.  I had my arm around this chick named Liz the whole bus ride home trying to hook up with her and she was giving me looks like what the hell is worng with this guy.  I was also trying to get with her friend Kristen earlier that night.  Like I said before, I can be a bit of a loose cannon with alcohol, but I know NEVER to stir up a hornets net by going for some guy's girlfriend.

[MaC]

So far today it's BRTD:

Ewwww. Not only is Condi not attractive at all (too old) but I tend not to be attracted to black women. I've only gotten a lapdance from one black stripper ever.

[Alcon]

Which three people voted to ban nutmeg?

That stuff destroys lives.

[MaC]

Responding to North America RISK:

Wow, let's see if EarlAW even gets to play a turn...

f uck

[Bacon King]

YOU CAN DO IT CHUCK

Bruce Lee!

[Joe Republic]

Norris runs from Texas

Chuck Norris runs from no-one!

[YRABNNRM]

opebo you bastard

[Gabu]

Before I even knew Stewart was a jew I pegged him as a jew for a few reasons:

1) He has a big nose.
2) He is arrogant and stupid.
3)He whines alot.
4) He is a smart ass.
5) He has a jewish skin pigment to him.

Instant classic.

[Keystone Phil]

and I even offered to rub her feet.  I started to dance on the coffee table to get something going to little avail.  They did drink, but apparently not enough.  It seems today in order to get anywhere with the opposite sex you have to be over 6', great shape, fabulous career, nice car, and a total brainwashed drone that gives a dozen roses on command.  Whatever happened to the days of Animal House and the free loving 60s?  Welcome to the conservative tainting of America boys and girls!       

[J-Mann]

What the hell does liberalism have to do with your stupid game, jmfcst?  Presumably a reasonable liberal wouldn't be found anywhere near a football stadium.

I just threw out a little bait to give you an opportunity to once again prove what a wuss you are.  I'm sure you have a handshake like a partially excited penis.

[Gabu]

What the hell does liberalism have to do with your stupid game, jmfcst?  Presumably a reasonable liberal wouldn't be found anywhere near a football stadium.

I just threw out a little bait to give you an opportunity to once again prove what a wuss you are.  I'm sure you have a handshake like a partially excited penis.

HAHAHAHA!

[Gabu]

DAVE LIEP IS A ING ASSHOLE f****t WHO SCREWS HIS MOM UP THE ASS THEN SUCKS HER COCK. HE COULD POWER A SMALL VILLAGE WITH HIS f****tRY!!! AND SPEED OF SOUND IS A BACKSTABBING PUSSY FACE!! GO TO HELL ATLASIA!!!!

[Speed of Sound]

DAVE LIEP IS A ING ASSHOLE f****t WHO SCREWS HIS MOM UP THE ASS THEN SUCKS HER COCK. HE COULD POWER A SMALL VILLAGE WITH HIS f****tRY!!! AND SPEED OF SOUND IS A BACKSTABBING PUSSY FACE!! GO TO HELL ATLASIA!!!!

I wonder if Dave Liep is Dave Leip's evil twin.

What a fool that kid is. I have to apologize again for even giving him the URL. I expected him to be decent, but Im afraid that he has shown nothing but immaturity.

[Gabu]

DAVE LIEP IS A ING ASSHOLE f****t WHO SCREWS HIS MOM UP THE ASS THEN SUCKS HER COCK. HE COULD POWER A SMALL VILLAGE WITH HIS f****tRY!!! AND SPEED OF SOUND IS A BACKSTABBING PUSSY FACE!! GO TO HELL ATLASIA!!!!

I wonder if Dave Liep is Dave Leip's evil twin.

What a fool that kid is. I have to apologize again for even giving him the URL. I expected him to be decent, but Im afraid that he has shown nothing but immaturity.

It was worth it to get the above message.  I'm still laughing at, "HE COULD POWER A SMALL VILLAGE WITH HIS f****tRY".

[Joe Republic]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

[Gabu]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

We need to have 99% of North Americans be flaming homosexuals.  The sheer levels of f****try that would exist in North America if that were the case would completely free us all from our dependence on Middle Eastern oil.

[YRABNNRM]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

We need to have 99% of North Americans be flaming homosexuals.  The sheer levels of f****try that would exist in North America if that were the case would completely free us all from our dependence on Middle Eastern oil.

Thats only all of North America though right? Hasn't Canada been using f****try for quite some time?

[Gabu]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

We need to have 99% of North Americans be flaming homosexuals.  The sheer levels of f****try that would exist in North America if that were the case would completely free us all from our dependence on Middle Eastern oil.

Thats only all of North America though right? Hasn't Canada been using f****try for quite some time?

No, just Quebec.  In fact, Quebec solves everything using f****try.

[YRABNNRM]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

We need to have 99% of North Americans be flaming homosexuals.  The sheer levels of f****try that would exist in North America if that were the case would completely free us all from our dependence on Middle Eastern oil.

Thats only all of North America though right? Hasn't Canada been using f****try for quite some time?

No, just Quebec.  In fact, Quebec solves everything using f****try.

Yes but all that f****try power derives from Celine Dion and her fanbase.

[Gabu]

Why are we wasting time on dead-end fads like solar energy or fossil fuels?  All this time we could have been using f****try.

We need to have 99% of North Americans be flaming homosexuals.  The sheer levels of f****try that would exist in North America if that were the case would completely free us all from our dependence on Middle Eastern oil.

Thats only all of North America though right? Hasn't Canada been using f****try for quite some time?

No, just Quebec.  In fact, Quebec solves everything using f****try.

Yes but all that f****try power derives from Celine Dion and her fanbase.

Well, yeah.