The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[© tweed]

I just came across this and it struck me as hilarious.  I've deleted the names.

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Keystone Phil, directed at Flyers?

[Keystone Phil]

I just came across this and it struck me as hilarious.  I've deleted the names.

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Keystone Phil, directed at Flyers?

Haha...I told him not to choke on a hoagie. Wow, that is me...

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

I just came across this and it struck me as hilarious.  I've deleted the names.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Keystone Phil, directed at Flyers?

Haha...I told him not to choke on a hoagie. Wow, that is me...

Who says it was a HOAGIE he was choking on? This is a democrat we're talking about.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

For the "so funny because it's so true" pile:

If memory serves, the other day you were whining about how you couldn't get a girlfriend.
Have you ever thought why this might be?
Is it because women are unable to understand your sheer intelligence and the obvious superiority of the pale rip-off of social darwinism that you seem to peddle everywhere?
Or is it because you are a shallow misogynist who views women as nothing more than semen-sinks?
You know, I would say that you should just try out visiting prostitutes, but as you're the sort of shit who probably gets a kick out of beating them up, I won't.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

I think it's a dangerous slope when comparing legitimate claims of rape with someone who's scheming for revenge.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

This is the perpetual problem with cases of alleged sexual assault. At times there are obvious pieces of evidence, such as bruising, tearing. etc etc. It's the times when no visible damage was done where there is a massive evidentiary vaccum.

I agree that some shift in the burden of proof to prosecution makes sense... however that does have implications for other crimes.

Another intersting Australian case, 'Boughey' where a man inserted a longneck beer bottle into his friend's anus - due to the shock of his waking, the bottle broke and caused significant injury. This was tried as an aggrivated sexual assault. Since the orifice involved was the anus, and an object was inserted into it without consent.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

Under what circumstances would you say a situation where a woman revoked her consent midway would be legitimate.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

So you're basically saying if there is no physical evdience - she's lying until it's somehow proven otherwise?

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

Okay, okay, we get the point already.

[MaC]

she's not funny, don't encourage her.

[Bono]

For the "so funny because it's so true" pile:

If memory serves, the other day you were whining about how you couldn't get a girlfriend.
Have you ever thought why this might be?
Is it because women are unable to understand your sheer intelligence and the obvious superiority of the pale rip-off of social darwinism that you seem to peddle everywhere?
Or is it because you are a shallow misogynist who views women as nothing more than semen-sinks?
You know, I would say that you should just try out visiting prostitutes, but as you're the sort of shit who probably gets a kick out of beating them up, I won't.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

I think it's a dangerous slope when comparing legitimate claims of rape with someone who's scheming for revenge.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

This is the perpetual problem with cases of alleged sexual assault. At times there are obvious pieces of evidence, such as bruising, tearing. etc etc. It's the times when no visible damage was done where there is a massive evidentiary vaccum.

I agree that some shift in the burden of proof to prosecution makes sense... however that does have implications for other crimes.

Another intersting Australian case, 'Boughey' where a man inserted a longneck beer bottle into his friend's anus - due to the shock of his waking, the bottle broke and caused significant injury. This was tried as an aggrivated sexual assault. Since the orifice involved was the anus, and an object was inserted into it without consent.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

Under what circumstances would you say a situation where a woman revoked her consent midway would be legitimate.

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

So you're basically saying if there is no physical evdience - she's lying until it's somehow proven otherwise?

BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE WOMENS

Okay, okay, we get the point already.

If your definition of "funny" is "completely retarded".

[Alcon]

Why do we need surveillence cameras in the middle of forest.

Wanted

Yusif Yogi BinBear...last seen in the woods.

[Bono]

Yes.  But I also would have given him a fair trial (ala Nuremburg).

[MaC]

Well, first allow me to say that I hate Bob Casey... I hate him and I hate everyone who played a significant part in his campaign.  Now the the race is over, I can say some things that I could not say before.

First off, I love it how we organized our staff to try to win the campaign for Rick while the Casey camp spent its time spoiling out events, trying to derail our efforts and spying on our campaign members.

THANKS TO BOB FU(KING CASEY ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS ON A LIST CIRCULATING AROUND WASHINGTON... A LIST OF GAY REPUBLCIANS.  HIS CAREER MIGHT NOW BE RUINED AND IT IS ALL THANKS TO THE TOLLERANT UNDERSTANDING PARTY.

F**K YOU PEOPLE I HATE YOU ALL.  I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID TO US ON THE STAFF.  I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID TO RICK.

I hope, strongly, that Casey proves to be as worthless a Senator as he is a human being.  Should he not survive his term, it woudl be a blessing to this state.

Go to Hell you piece of sh**t... I will meet you there.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm a Republican and Republicans lost. So, I call one of my two friends up last night, and say "Hey, how are you?"...he hangs up on me.

Then I come online at 11am this morning, and get an Instant Message from another friend of mine:::

******** (11:07:24 AM): great
******** (11:07:25 AM): you happy?
******** (11:07:35 AM): bush cost us both houses of congress
******** (11:07:40 AM): he's a jerk

How the hell do I deserve to be treated this way, because Republicans lost? It's not right!

[Joe Republic]

Perhaps you ought to re-read the last three words of the thread title.

[Everett]

Perhaps you ought to re-read the last three words of the thread title.

What, are you saying that he can actually read?

[Joe Republic]

See, this post was far more deserving of a place here:

I'm a Republican and Republicans lost. So, I call one of my two friends up last night, and say "Hey, how are you?"...he hangs up on me.

And I would do it again, too, so shut it.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Perhaps you ought to re-read the last three words of the thread title.

What, are you saying that he can actually read?

LOL

[WMS]

Uh, yeah, that'd be a great way to lose Congress in 2008.

Sitting back and working with the failed Bush regime is an even surer way to lose Congress in 2008.

So says the duly elected leader of New America.

(Deliverance Theme Song Plays)

[Sam Spade]

Their constituents elected them on the positions they took. Therefore those are the views of the constituents.

[Colin]

Their constituents elected them on the positions they took. Therefore those are the views of the constituents.

Does he believe that sh**t?

[YRABNNRM]

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Something you doubtlessly never actually smelled, pasty internet geek.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

I tend to agree with that.  Most people associate an ethnicity with a religion and therfore assume it's a conservative ethnicity.  I mean I'm Irish Catholic and I haven't touched a rosary in over a decade, I'm pro-choice, etc.  I think most ethnic Catholics in the Northeast Corridor are more law and order conservative rather than "Bible Belt" conservative.

I pictured you saying the rosary every night before you go to bed....

[Nation]

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Something you doubtlessly never actually smelled, pasty internet geek.

haha oh man. this is definitley the quote of the year.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

No its not.

[Gustaf]

you will have trouble shaking some of us out of our excited haze...especially me since my state is moving toward one party government.

Eraserhead, a man to be trusted when it comes to protecting democracy!

[Jake]

soulty, because he isnt a moron like little casey.

hey brtd, why dont you make a who is dumber poll: governor mike hatch vs. little casey.  id give casey a slight advantage in that contest.

[MODU]

you will have trouble shaking some of us out of our excited haze...especially me since my state is moving toward one party government.

Eraserhead, a man to be trusted when it comes to protecting democracy!

You know . . . now that you mention it . . . New York does have that hammer and sickle shape to it . . .

[Nation]

No its not.

no, it is. you got pwn'd by opebo. suck it up.