The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[KEmperor]

These posts are not funny.

[Everett]

These posts are not funny.

You're not funny. Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

[KEmperor]

These posts are not funny.

You're not funny. Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Oh yeah?  Well:

I'd love to watch a porn movie with a probe attached to my genitals!

and

Harry is soft on anal probing

[Everett]

These posts are not funny.

You're not funny. Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Oh yeah?  Well:

I'd love to watch a porn movie with a probe attached to my genitals!

and

Harry is soft on anal probing

Still not funny. What kind of a lameass housewife are you, anyway? I should have gotten a divorce years ago.

[KEmperor]

These posts are not funny.

You're not funny. Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Oh yeah?  Well:

I'd love to watch a porn movie with a probe attached to my genitals!

and

Harry is soft on anal probing

Still not funny. What kind of a lameass housewife are you, anyway? I should have gotten a divorce years ago.

You only say that because you're impotent.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I like my fiancee cold, and with whipped cream and chocolate syrup thank you very much!

I think I know what you're doing with the whipped cream... but the chocolate syrup has me beat. Please enlighten me as to your sexual practices.

[DownWithTheLeft]

I got Republican but I was hoping to get fascist.

I hope States keeps posting!!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Perhaps this was too easy

[Keystone Phil]

Perhaps this was too easy

The only election that overrated Erskine would ever win.

[Gabu]

Creepy Freepies:

To: Admin Moderator

Key races here: Missouri Senate (Too close to call; I think Talent will hold on narrowly)
New Jersey Senate (Too close to call; I think Kean will pick it up narrowly)

Pennsylvania Senate (Too close to call; I think it will be a crapshoot)

Tennessee Senate (I think Corker will take it safely, atleast by 20 points)

23 posted on 11/07/2006 4:42:43 PM PST by #### [ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

LMAO!

To: ####

What is going on? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS!!!!! MISSOURI BETRAYED US BY VOTING FOR CLAIRE MCCASKILL!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WILL COMMITT SUICIDE!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THEY TURNED REDDDD I HOPE THEY GO TO HELL

264 posted on 11/07/2006 10:54:45 PM PST by #### [ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 217 | View Replies ]

[Gabu]

In response to the question "Have you ever drunk alcohol in class?":

Yes I did, Then when I was caught I started belaming all my problems on the Jews.

[Platypus]

In response to the question "Have you ever drunk alcohol in class?":

Yes I did, Then when I was caught I started belaming all my problems on the Jews.

I just snorted something yellow onto my keyboard.

[Keystone Phil]

I was reading the old "What is the funniest post ever?" thread and came across one that I absolutely love:

Oh Your pastuerization what? French milk is not even pastuerization. That is why America has cheese call American cheese. I never heard of French cheese. And we don't eat the slug off our back deck now do we. FDA here to make sure our food is healthy and don't kill us.

[Jake]

Remember Jeff? My lazy coworker who never worked

No, I don't. Why are you talking to us like we are dedicated readers of some personal blog?

Owned.

[Michael Z]

A typically non-partisan and not-very-hysterical-at-all assessment from Naso of a Kerry presidency:

On August 16, 2006 thousands are killed in a massive terrorist attack. Seven commerical airliners are blown up over New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Newark, Miami, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Why stop there?  Why not have Saddam return to power, Hitler come back to life, and Eddie Murphy put out another music album?

Reincarnated Hitler wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.

[YRABNNRM]

How bout the fact his mother was 15 when he was born says a lot about these people

What does that have to do with anything?

To you maybe nothing, but to me it means the person is lacking morals and is probably poor or a minority

C'mon we all know that no rich white kids parent's are going to make a complaint this stupid, or rich black kids for that part

...What exactly is your point?

You just felt like stating that poor black people are stupid?

Not all of them, and many poor white people are also stupid, I'm just saying this is more of a thing a person of a lower class would do.  The biggest indicator there poor is the fact the kid is getting a GBA, not a GBA SP or Nintendo DS

[riceowl]

1000th post in the goldmine, bitches.

I would not vote for DownWithTheLeft
I would not vote for him with a breath
I would not vote for him in a box
I would not vote for him with a fox
I would not vote for him for a house
I would not vote for him against a mouse
I would not for vote for him, general or primary
I would rather vote for Mr. Kerry

[MaC]

Some of the best people in the country.  Who else would give their lives for you?

Is that some kind of joke?  Police want their job for the ego trip.  Most are Italian-type white males without an ounce of compassion for humankind.  Black cops are just tokens and tools of the government.

The Men in Black Helicopters are probing your brain through microwave transmissions.  Bush planned the 9/11 attacks.  Wyoming is a conspiracy of the government and doesn't actually exist!

Grow up.

[MaC]

As for yesterday [(I don't usually find Alcon funny, but this was) in response to BRTD saying he was sad that his incompetent co-worker was fired]

I look forward to the day you finish puberty.

[Keystone Phil]

A typically non-partisan and not-very-hysterical-at-all assessment from Naso of a Kerry presidency:

On August 16, 2006 thousands are killed in a massive terrorist attack. Seven commerical airliners are blown up over New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Newark, Miami, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.

Wow.

[Gabu]

Did I start the Middle East conflict?

Yes

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Yes

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Yes

Don't lie to us jmfcst. You are secretly controlling the world.

[© tweed]

Some of the best people in the country.  Who else would give their lives for you?

Is that some kind of joke?  Police want their job for the ego trip.  Most are Italian-type white males without an ounce of compassion for humankind.  Black cops are just tokens and tools of the government.

The Men in Black Helicopters are probing your brain through microwave transmissions.  Bush planned the 9/11 attacks.  Wyoming is a conspiracy of the government and doesn't actually exist!

Grow up.

Obviously my post was a large exaggeration/joke.

[Gabu]

I-MA? More like E-MO!

lolololol

Apologies to Walter, but I still found this post funny.

[Rob]

An oldie, but a goodie:

I would probably vote for McKinney over any Republican. And definitely over Melissa "the rapist" Brown!

The..."rapist?" Wow. Uh...people accussed her of being "racist," not a rapist.

Well I just made that up, but thank you for informing me that Melissa Brown is racist. I can't say I'm surprised though...She is a Republican, so naturally I would assume that African Americans and other racial minorities are on her long list of people that need to be sent to death camps.

Why do you support death camps, Phil?