Model United Nations.

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If France is not taken I'll take them

If France is taken i'll be Serbia

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There's already quite a few, it would be nice to get started now.

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Out of curiosity, which nation is approved for me? Serbia or France?

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I believe somebody claimed France before me, but I don't really feel in the mood for France, I'll try Serbia.

I have yet to decide whether it shall be a European Serbia (led by the DP) or a Balkan nationalist Greater Serbia type of nation (led by SRS)

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Serbia, although more realistically, Serbia should be one of the non-permanent members.

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Serbia once controlled most of the Balkans... And we made all the people shut up for quite a time...

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This has become a joke.

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Serbia tells everybody to shut the hell up and give us back Kosovo.

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Israel doesn't understand that Serbia is the historical heart of the Serbian nation and that no referendum ever took place on independence, while one was held in Montenegro.

Foreign nations shouldn't meddle into our nations business.

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I switch my nation to France and President Nicolas Sarkozy names Francois Bayrou and Arnaud Montebourg co-ambassadors to the UN.

Bayrou will make a declaration soon on the Mauritius-nuking situation.

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Declaration from Francois Bayrou concerning the Mauritius incident

This is unfair. I got 18.5%. Things like this shouldn`t happen. This all happened because of the left-right bipolarisation. If Mauritius had voted MoDem it would all be better, but we didn't have enough members to contest every seat without taking FN candidates. I support Iran having nukes, wait I don't, maybe I do. Wait, I'll check.

But what's more important is that the Security Council issues a stern condemnation of the Pau election. I lost because the left cheated and the right did too!!!! I got 18.5% and lots of voters. People need to remember that. 18.5%. 18.5%. 18.5%. 18.5%!!! I shouldn't have lost and neither should Marielle de Sarnez, my mistress... Ooops, that was outloud.

This is all unfair. Mauritius should recognize my powers. I did win 18.5%, no? This is all the fault of Sarkozy and his big business friends!!! BIG BUSINESS SUCKS!!!! SARKOZY SUCKS!!!!

I won 18.5%

I won 18.5%

And I was defeated in my hometown because ITS UNFAIR. THE SYSTEM SUCKS. THE SYSTEM SUCKS. IT ALL SUCKS EXCEPT ME!

Declaration from Arnaud Montebourg, President of Saone-et-Loire, Deputy, and general councillor of the Canton of Montret (as seen on TV)

You're all stupid people. I'm smart, look at me. Look at me! Look at my magnificent record!

This all happened because of the 5th republic and dual office-holding. If people had adopted my constitution for my 6th republic, people would be happy in this world. My plan is clearly the best. Look at me! ME!!!!

Oh and dual office-holders suck! It's bad to hold more than one. People who hold two or three offices are dumbasses. They're stupid. Awful people, unlike me. I don't do dual office-holding because I'm not immoral.

Since I know people love me and can never be tired of my intelligent, informed comments and my magnificent face, you can see me every night on the nightly news at 8pm on France2. I make daily comments with my best friend, Noel Mamère, on everything. EVERYTHING! ME!

And you all suck while I rock!!!

I love myself and my voice.

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Bayrou speaks!

Communists are cool too. look in Aubagne, we merged with their list!!! The MoDem is adaptable! In Lyon we're with the FN, in Aubagne with the PCF, we just need the Nazi Party now

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Montebourg says "screw you all ppl"

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Arnaud Montebourg has mysteriously disappeared.

 no i am here in saone-et-loire.

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Arnaud Montebourg has mysteriously disappeared.

 no i am here in saone-et-loire.

this was said moments before Panama nuked saone-et-loire.

But Arnaud Monteborg happened to be in the basement.

and?

He was thus saved.

ok. i sent a guy in to stab him to death before we nuked them. now are you happy?

 no no no that was my look-alike. evil twin. my evil brother.

because i live



  my true location is kept secret and i will NEVER tell.

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Message from the French RESISTANCE!!!

Me, Field Marshal Arnaud Montebourg, actually in some sh**thole, invites all officers and anybody else with nothing else to do that are located in my sh**thole or that could come here¹, with their guns and stuff (or without)², I invite engineers and workers not on strike to get in touch with me³ and then PARTY!

Whatever happens, the flashlight of the French resistance cannot and will not die out (unless I forgot the batteries... oh wait! DAMN! I did!)

Tomorrow, like today, I'll talk with my bros on Radio whatever it's called

Long live France in honour and independence!

But, LONG LIVE MYSELF

^1: Plane ticket not included. Thank you. http://www.airfrance.fr/
^2: Don't think we'll give you free ammo though
^3: Email: ilovemyself@montebourg.fr

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