Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Eraserhead]

This place is running out of gas now that Stark's posts are regulated.

[Verily]

Thanks to Gabu and Wikipedia, I now know who Jack Benny was.

You mean to tell me that wasn't actually a reference to him?  He was a comedian way back in the days of black and white television, and one of his things was to always repeatedly claim to be 39 even when everyone knew that he was much older than that.  One of my favorite lines from that running gag was him telling a woman, "This relationship will never work out.  You're 20 and I'm 39.  And in 40 years, you'll be 60 and I'll be 39."

If your reference wasn't intentional, it certainly bore a remarkable resemblance to that running gag of his.

LOL, I was referencing Hitler, since it was Stark, but Jack Benny works, too.

[Ebowed]

Anyway - no sane general is going to tell you that allowing illegals into the army is a good thing.  You'll have Chinese and Arabs crawling all over the place, and then the end of the U.S.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Well, California is kind of nice when it's not shaking or on fire.

[Joe Republic]

Try and find a more stereotypical Oklahoman than this guy:

(Last movie watched)

An old 1960s Burl Ives Childrens Classic -- Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I love those Christmas movies -- Rudolph, Frosty, and Santa.

By the way, yes, I am a CHRISTMAS FREAK.  I already have my Christmas Tree up, and have had it up for two and a half weeks since Monday, October 8.  I start listening to Christmas Music heavily in September and watch the Christmas Movies in October.

[Speed of Sound]

Dave Leip?

Why is your nose brown and why does it smell like feces?

...why are you smelling Inks' nose?

Well, it smelled awful, and hopes to find and eradicate the stench, I was led to Inks' nose.  Is there a problem?  You seem concerned.

Perhaps you should tell your mom to get that infection checked out - the feces smell was somewhat annoying.

[Sensei]

Try and find a more stereotypical Oklahoman than this guy:

(Last movie watched)

An old 1960s Burl Ives Childrens Classic -- Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I love those Christmas movies -- Rudolph, Frosty, and Santa.

By the way, yes, I am a CHRISTMAS FREAK.  I already have my Christmas Tree up, and have had it up for two and a half weeks since Monday, October 8.  I start listening to Christmas Music heavily in September and watch the Christmas Movies in October.

Jim "JR" Ross. Biggest Oklahoman ever.

[bgwah]

Unfortunately, I cannot remember, as its been 7 years since the start of my senior year (2000-2001), but I would lean to saying no, even though I live in the heart of the Bible Belt.  I wish and hope we did.  Everytime I did say or do say the Pledge, I always accent and say with pride "One Nation, Under GOD, with liberty and justice for all"

I'm not sure what's funnier, the fact that he can't remember high school or the "Under GOD" part.

[Јas]

Response to the question: who is the biggest atheist on the forum?

I dunno.  How much does Opebo weigh?

[© tweed]

Option 1.  The "next few years" is an unspecified amount of time.  But, I believe that God will ulitmately triumph and that when He returns He will stamp out all traces of abortion.  Nobody knows when he's coming back, though.

[KEmperor]

I agree with BuskOklahoma's astute analysis. I'm also going to go out on a limb and predict that the GOP will take Massachusetts by twenty-five percentage points. After all, this is 2008, not 2004. The maps won't look anywhere near the same.

[bgwah]

This is quickly becoming a "Laugh at BO" thread.

[Sensei]

This is quickly becoming a "Laugh at BO" thread.

Isn't he a mod?

[Sensei]

I've effectively been an athiest my entire life. In addition, I think I might be able to slam dunk this award if some of you knew what I do in private.

You molest altar boys?

You have to be Catholic to do that.

The whole thing from SPC's post down is pretty good.

[Sensei]

Nothing really.  I remember getting pulled into the principals office in 2nd grade and was paddled, but I can't remember why.

Calling the matron a "ƒaucy wench of a diƒreputable qualitie", or snapping your slate tablet, perhaps?

I lol'd really hard.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Nothing really.  I remember getting pulled into the principals office in 2nd grade and was paddled, but I can't remember why.

Calling the matron a "ƒaucy wench of a diƒreputable qualitie", or snapping your slate tablet, perhaps?

I lol'd really hard.

Misspelling "ſaucy" and "diſreputable" hardly seems lol-worthy.

[Hash]

Anyone?

Don't you have any patience? Anyway, why do you post obscure scenarios usually involving Ronald Reagan running for a third term, Ike Eisenhower running for a third term and now George H.W. Bush not raising taxes.

It has been a while since I have done Ike running for a third term and Reagan running for a third term. This is only the second scenario I have done with Bush not raising taxes. You must not know how to count, or one or two times is too many times to post a certain scenario. Gee, grow up.

Coming from gporter...

[Gabu]

Anyone?

Don't you have any patience? Anyway, why do you post obscure scenarios usually involving Ronald Reagan running for a third term, Ike Eisenhower running for a third term and now George H.W. Bush not raising taxes.

It has been a while since I have done Ike running for a third term and Reagan running for a third term. This is only the second scenario I have done with Bush not raising taxes. You must not know how to count, or one or two times is too many times to post a certain scenario. Gee, grow up.

Coming from gporter...

I like how he says it's "only' the second scenario with Bush not raising taxes.  Why would you ever do the same scenario twice?

[Hash]

Anyone?

Don't you have any patience? Anyway, why do you post obscure scenarios usually involving Ronald Reagan running for a third term, Ike Eisenhower running for a third term and now George H.W. Bush not raising taxes.

It has been a while since I have done Ike running for a third term and Reagan running for a third term. This is only the second scenario I have done with Bush not raising taxes. You must not know how to count, or one or two times is too many times to post a certain scenario. Gee, grow up.

Coming from gporter...

I like how he says it's "only' the second scenario with Bush not raising taxes.  Why would you ever do the same scenario twice?

Another good catch there, didn't see that one

[Eraserhead]

Try and find a more stereotypical Oklahoman than this guy:

(Last movie watched)

An old 1960s Burl Ives Childrens Classic -- Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I love those Christmas movies -- Rudolph, Frosty, and Santa.

By the way, yes, I am a CHRISTMAS FREAK.  I already have my Christmas Tree up, and have had it up for two and a half weeks since Monday, October 8.  I start listening to Christmas Music heavily in September and watch the Christmas Movies in October.

That is some scary stuff there.

[they don't love you like i love you]

Another one you have to read in context:

This thread killed any chance she had.

[Sensei]

Oh my!  I just noticed this.  Bottom or top, Josh?

Spoken like a 'fangirl'

It's not really as strict as that and besides many gay couples don't do that. It's not the Holy Grail of gay love. Theres plenty of other things to do

I'll admit to being a fan!  I didn't find my few actual experiences with it to be a very good fit, but I do find homosexuality fascinating. 

But has josh even had sex of any kind?  I was more asking what are or would be his preferences in the area of intercourse.. as you say its not always strict, but there's often some taking of roles.

I don't think that's your business Opebo. This is not a Q and A thread!

Thanks afleitch you took the words right out of my mouth, but lets just say that me and one of my (Guy)bestfriends  know alot about each other's bodies.

[Verily]

no (r)

Click for context.

[PBrunsel]

That is some scary stuff there.

You know, I really don’t think it’s that “scary.”

I mean, October 8th, is a wee bit early for a Christmas tree, but I say BushOklahoma is truly a, “freedom fighter”, for his actions. I have no problem with a man who loves and enthusiastically celebrates a holiday urging peace on earth and goodwill toward men. We should have these ideals in our heart not just one day, or even twelve, but every day.

BushOklahoma,

I think your enthusiasm for Christmas is noble. Heck, Christmas music is also my favorite music, and I prefer It’s a Wonderful Life over every other film I’ve ever seen. Merry very early Christmas to you!    

[Gabu]

Describing how a video of a woman taking her clothes off and then expressing support for Ron Paul affected his opinion of Ron Paul:

has become more positive.