Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

THE "R" IN INKSES AVATAR STANDS FOR RALPH AS IN RALPH NADER BECAUSE INKS LOVES RALPH SO MUCH HE HAD RALPH'S BABIES AND THAT'S COOL BECAUSE EVERYONE LIVES RALPH NADER EXCEPT FOR THOSE WHO DONT BUT THEY DONT COUNT BECAUSE IF YOU DONT LOVE RALPH NADER YOU ARENT A HUMAN BEING

RALPH NADER FOR OMNIPOTENT RULER OF THE UNIVERSE '08

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

You were watching the Jerry Lewis telethon?

A bit yeah. You don't realize...Martin and Lewis were my childhood idols. My father put on an old Jerry Lewis movie on when I was 6 years old...and I became a Martin and Lewis junkie while other kids my age were watching "Power Rangers". I mailed letters to Jerry and recieved back buttons and stickers, and I saw him live in concert for "Damn Yankees" in January 1997. That led to me wanting to be an actor, so I joined Barbizon, Stone modeling agency in 1998, won in a competition in November 1998, went to another agency in 1999, a modeling competition in Florida in June 1999, and then finally auditioned for the Anthony Hopkins' movie "Hearts in Atlantis" in 2000.

By 2000 and 2001, I let go of my modeling and acting "career" in change for other hobbies including politics, and weather.

Dude is gayer than I am, and last I checked, I'm pretty damn gay.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Obviously we should be encouraging people to run around calling people "fags".  Those goddamn leftists.

Yes, a very demeaning word.  Describing people as tobacco products should not be done in today's modern society.

[Sensei]

You were watching the Jerry Lewis telethon?

A bit yeah. You don't realize...Martin and Lewis were my childhood idols. My father put on an old Jerry Lewis movie on when I was 6 years old...and I became a Martin and Lewis junkie while other kids my age were watching "Power Rangers". I mailed letters to Jerry and recieved back buttons and stickers, and I saw him live in concert for "Damn Yankees" in January 1997. That led to me wanting to be an actor, so I joined Barbizon, Stone modeling agency in 1998, won in a competition in November 1998, went to another agency in 1999, a modeling competition in Florida in June 1999, and then finally auditioned for the Anthony Hopkins' movie "Hearts in Atlantis" in 2000.

By 2000 and 2001, I let go of my modeling and acting "career" in change for other hobbies including politics, and weather.

Dude is gayer than I am, and last I checked, I'm pretty damn gay.

Goldmine worthy in itself.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's another "WTF is Mike Naso raving about?" addition:

I just spoke to my father on the phone and told him CNN said Jerry dropped "The F-Bomb" and my father yelled, "THAT'S NOT THE F-BOMB" LOL...when will these liberals understand the way the majority of middle Americans think outside of the Left Coast and New England?

I would hope that people "outside of the Left Coast and New England" realize how crude, offensive, and classless it is to slur someone with the word "fag."

People have to realize the way people in middle America think. While the lead up to the War in Iraq was underway...a song called "Have You Forgotten?" was on the charts. It included lyrics about 9/11 and words such as "Have you forgotten...how it felt that day...to have our homeland under fire and our people blown away?" .... You would think lyrics like that would be risky? Get this...It was #1 for months on the country charts in the Spring of 2003. That's the mentality. Dixie Chicks bash the President and War and get boycotted off many Southern radio stations....that's the mentality. That's why George Bush swept the heartland. That's why Gay Marriage got shot down. The middle America and Southern American roots are not going to fall for liberalism.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Naso's posts are all comedy goldmine material

[Gabu]

The question I have is this: the song Naso references is insanely patriotic; how in the world is it risky?  A risky song is one that addresses things that people don't want to talk about, not one that is all "rah rah America".

[King]

The question I have is this: the song Naso references is insanely patriotic; how in the world is it risky?  A risky song is one that addresses things that people don't want to talk about, not one that is all "rah rah America".

According to Naso, Bill O'Reilly is a moderate liberal SOB.

[Rob]

this guy is hilarious:

Iraq is not lost.  The surge is working.  The Anbar province, once one of the worst places in Iraq, is now one of the safest.  Iraq can still be won.  We're not where we need to be, but we're definitely farther along than we were in May, 2003 when "Mission Accomplished" was declared and not just in the calendar, either.  Anbar is just one of a number of examples.  Fallujah is not as bad as it was.  Baghdad is even slowly starting to calm down.  McCain is right, the surge is working.  Petraeus is going to bring back a positive report, saying that we're doing good, we just need to keep it up.  Heck, even Bush is talking about possibly drawing down the troops within the next year pending the September surge report.

I know I'm talking from the vast minority, but thats fine with me.  I like Bush.  He is NOT a bad president.  I actually think history will judge him to be one of our better presidents.  Definitely not the best, but not anywhere near the bottom.  Yes, my view of him has gotten drastically better in the past year where I thought he was one of the worst.  I still think Reagan was a better president in recent times, but Bush Jr was definitely better than his father or Nixon or Ford.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I count three who confessed to voting "Yes"... Who's the fourth?

Not me. I may be a troll but I don't go that far.

Straha's one.

Plz stop with personal attacks on me in DAVE LEIP's thread at that. As far as I'm concerned calling someone a spammer(if they're not a spambot)/troller should rank with other bans on personal attacks if that rule is intended to mean anything. If its permitted to accuse people of spamming/trolling but not other personal attacks people will just move to THAT and nothing will change.

Edi for clarity

[Ebowed]

Naso, you'd better be back, you're one of my best friends here.

[opebo]

...I do not like the gay lifestyle...The best way to get people out of it, from what I believe, is by loving them and befriending them and making them feel like a human being instead of useless piece of fag trash like some fundamentalists treat them as.  My support of civil unions is based on that, I don't want them to feel any less of a human being.  I want them to feel like they are important to society in hopes that I may show them or someone else may show them what the Godly joys of a heterosexual relationship can be (morally, of course).

Italics funny, but the bold is even better!  'Let me show you the goddly joys..' <wink wink, nudge nudge>.

[CPT MikeyMike]

tonight the orioles are making the devil rays look good!

Maybe because they are?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

opebo nails another one!

What Men Want from a Woman

• sexual intercourse
• blow jobs
• anal sex
• slim
• hot body
• willing to go without protection
• respect
• nicelyshaped ass
• nicely shaped breasts
• physical attractiveness
• good disposition
• we want to keep our independence absolutely

What Men Don't Want from a Woman

• fat
• frigid
• unwilling to go down
• won't swallow
• unattractive
• feeling of being confined
• disrespect
• inorgasmic
• commitment
• alien-like features
• god-awful personality

[??????????]

tonight the orioles are making the devil rays look good!

Maybe because they are?

I guess the truth can be somewhat humorous.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

What is really funny is that I can read Straha's posts, but not the very first post in this thread. 

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Click on it to read it in context:

Mike Naso.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Any of Inks' posts on abortion fit in this thread.

[Michael Z]

On the GOP:

Christ help that party.

He won't. God hates fags, remember?

[phk]

It'd be more interesting to compare a quote from Red Opebo to one from Blue Opebo.

Yeah, I remember blue opebo once claiming that only Republicans have principles.

That's precisely why I'm a Democrat now.

...because you don't have/want principles?

Well, I find that 'principles' usually imply a belief in objective morality, which is the prelude to intolerance, as well as abdication of reason.

[Joe Republic]

Godzilla is clearly the choice for anyone who wants traditional moral values in a leader. I mean, just look at the other options. Opebo spends tons of time screwing hookers, and that damn gorilla can't keep his hands off our white women! Godzilla on the other hand has displayed no interest in women... wait... crap, that means he's probably gay.

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Godzilla is clearly the choice for anyone who wants traditional moral values in a leader. I mean, just look at the other options. Opebo spends tons of time screwing hookers, and that damn gorilla can't keep his hands off our white women! Godzilla on the other hand has displayed no interest in women... wait... crap, that means he's probably gay.

Damnit! I was going to post that.

[Gabu]

Off Wikipedia...

Emo may also describe emo music or a general emotional state (as in to "feel emo"). It is also (sometimes pejoratively) used to identify someone who fits a particular emo stereotype or category or someone who is overly-emotional.

Both TommyC and Gporter fit this defination.

Stop saying mean things about me.  Please.  That's not nice.  I hate people who are mean.  Don't separate me please.  I don't want to be catorgorized.   I HATE BEING CALLED A DRAMA QUEEN.  IT OFFENDS ME.

I don't think that Tommy is quite aware of the irony here.

[CPT MikeyMike]

Off Wikipedia...

Emo may also describe emo music or a general emotional state (as in to "feel emo"). It is also (sometimes pejoratively) used to identify someone who fits a particular emo stereotype or category or someone who is overly-emotional.

Both TommyC and Gporter fit this defination.

Stop saying mean things about me.  Please.  That's not nice.  I hate people who are mean.  Don't separate me please.  I don't want to be catorgorized.   I HATE BEING CALLED A DRAMA QUEEN.  IT OFFENDS ME.

I don't think that Tommy is quite aware of the irony here.

Damn it, you bet me to this!

[Lief 🗽]

The Republican Party never ceases to amaze me. In the running for their nomination, they have well polished governor's and senators with substantive platforms, high potential, and the experience to make things happen. Yet, who are they so enamored with? A socially liberal ex-mayor, a senile old man, an ex-governor who can't make up his mind, and (most recently), the guy from Law and Order. Christ help that party.

We have another party that is rooting for the death of American soldiers and hoping for an American defeat in order to get elected.

Yeah, but nobody takes the Constitution Party seriously anyway.