Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

You cannot stop being a democratic hack. Can you?

[The Mikado]

You cannot stop being a democratic hack. Can you?

Honestly, that's about the same map I'd produce for that scenario.

[Хahar 🤔]

You cannot stop being a democratic hack. Can you?

Honestly, that's about the same map I'd produce for that scenario.

Which is why it's in this thread.

[CPT MikeyMike]

I will take responsibility for my actions in this thread.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=68840.0

[Sam Spade]

I will take responsibility for my actions in this thread.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=68840.0

This is one of the reasons why I don't start talking trash until after a result is certain.

Tonight is one night I'm staying in and celebrating.  Lots of shouting and screaming going on outside.

[CPT MikeyMike]

I will take responsibility for my actions in this thread.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=68840.0

This is one of the reasons why I don't start talking trash until after a result is certain.

I was not talking trash. Just read the damn posts - It was simply my prediction.

[Sam Spade]

I will take responsibility for my actions in this thread.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=68840.0

This is one of the reasons why I don't start talking trash until after a result is certain.

I was not talking trash. Just read the damn posts - It was simply my prediction.

Doing a play-by-play prediction of a Pats win is talking trash in my book. 

[Sam Spade]

With luck, all of Mike's posts in this thread will go into the Comedy Goldmine in a few hours.

If the Giants win, that might enough incentive for me to leave the forum.

And btw, what was this???    Not that you should leave, at all, however.

[CPT MikeyMike]

With luck, all of Mike's posts in this thread will go into the Comedy Goldmine in a few hours.

If the Giants win, that might enough incentive for me to leave the forum.

And btw, what was this???    Not that you should leave, at all, however.

Eh..I've thinking about it for over a week now. Forum's lost it's touch. I needed one last blast to leave out on! This might be it.

I'm 80/20 in favor of taking a step back.

[Lief 🗽]

How ARG conducts their polling:

First, numbers are picked randomly out of a hat


Then, through a contract with the local school district, third grade students are told to take the numbers and use them as variables in the "The Supersecret Highly Intelligent Turnout formula", hereafter known as The S.H.I.T. formula


It doesn't matter if they do the math correctly - that's what the margin of error is for

ARG then randomly calls a number determined by The S.H.I.T. formula. Racial turnout is based upon what color pen the third-graders used


ARG then subtracts 7 from one of the candidates totals, 'cause 7 is their lucky number

NOTE: ARG is currently considering switching to a new polling methodology involving bloodhounds, a bundle of bananas, and a bingo parlor off I-67

[Keystone Phil]

Disturbing.

Obama as the nominee (not final):

Obama:  303

McCain:  235

Though admittedly this map makes me a little hard

[bullmoose88]

You can't blame harry for getting an obamarection.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Inks, do we have to have fifty seperate threads for each Zoggy (or whatever) poll dump?

Considering that we've had 14 responses for the California one alone, I'd say yes.

Owned. Both Clinton and Al. This thread is a double whammy!

[© tweed]

Here are my plans, just updated as of 2 minutes ago (10:26 pm CST)

Monday, February 4, 2008:

2:15 pm -- Get off work
2:45 pm -- Change Clothes
3:00 pm -- Situation Room on CNN
6:00 pm -- Lou Dobbs Tonight on CNN
7:00 pm -- CNN Election Center Special
8:00 pm -- Larry King Live?
9:00 pm -- Bed

Tuesday, February 5, 2008:

3:00 am -- Wake Up
3:15 am -- Shower
3:45 am -- Bible Study
4:15 am -- Weather Channel
4:45 am -- Switch over to CNN for Super Tuesday Coverage
5:00 am -- Super Tuesday Coverage begins on CNN with American Morning
6:50 am -- leave for Choctaw Community Center (polling place)
6:55 am -- Wait in line for doors to open
7:00 am -- Vote for Barack Obama
7:02 am -- Drive to McDonalds
7:03 am -- Order Biscuits
7:08 am -- Drive Home
7:13 am -- Continue with CNN Coverage and Eat Breakfast
9:00 am -- CNN Newsroom
11:00 am -- Your World Today on CNN
12:00 pm -- CNN Newsroom
3:00 pm -- Situation Room on CNN
6:00 pm -- Lou Dobbs Tonight
7:00 pm -- CNN Election Coverage
11:00 pm -- Larry King Live

Wednesday, February 6, 2008:

12:00 am -- Anderson Cooper
3:00 am -- Sleep
9:00 am -- Wake Up
9:15 am -- Shower
9:45 am -- Bible Study
10:00 am -- CNN Post-Super Tuesday Coverage
10:00 pm -- Bed

[Joe Republic]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

[Hash]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) and on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

Yes, but no toilet break is planned into the schedule.

[Joe Republic]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) and on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

Yes, but no toilet break is planned into the schedule.

It either isn't worth mentioning (unlike, say, ordering biscuits from McDonalds), or isn't necessary.  I'll opt for the latter.

[Platypus]

ONLY IF YOU HAVE A BIG CAUCUS

Let's just say that at the end of the day, you'll definitley have 100% of precincts reporting.

They'll be recounting me all day long.

Although really that whole thread, inspirational BRTD quote included, belongs here.

My response was funnier

"That's what she said" is never funny

We could never be friends.

That's what she said.

[Platypus]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) and on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

Yes, but no toilet break is planned into the schedule.

It either isn't worth mentioning (unlike, say, ordering biscuits from McDonalds), or isn't necessary.  I'll opt for the latter.

I was baking scones at 4. I think anyone, even an American, can do it at 25.

[Joe Republic]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) and on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

Yes, but no toilet break is planned into the schedule.

It either isn't worth mentioning (unlike, say, ordering biscuits from McDonalds), or isn't necessary.  I'll opt for the latter.

I was baking scones at 4. I think anyone, even an American, can do it at 25.

I was referring to taking a dump or a whiz, not baking scones.

[Platypus]

... Jesus Christ.


Oh wait, I see he already features at 3.45 am (AM?!) and on Tuesday and 9.45 am on Wednesday.

Yes, but no toilet break is planned into the schedule.

It either isn't worth mentioning (unlike, say, ordering biscuits from McDonalds), or isn't necessary.  I'll opt for the latter.

I was baking scones at 4. I think anyone, even an American, can do it at 25.

I was referring to taking a dump or a whiz, not baking scones.

Obviously. This is me, not BRTD. I was referring to the fact that he's 25 and picking up scones from Maccas on a weekday morning, which would be tragic if it was a timesaving measure, but considering he's going out of his way to pick them up and then he's going home, is moreso.

[YRABNNRM]

He never says that he's going to eat the biscuits though...hmmmm highly suspicious...

[Joe Republic]

Ah, gotcha.  Communication breakdown, mayte. 

[Bono]

This whole thread:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=69519.0

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Ah, gotcha.  Communication breakdown, mayte. 

What's with the pirate talk?