Critique my Essay on George Washington's Farewell Adress

[Gabu]

No offense, but if I were a teacher, I don't think I'd give that a very good grade.  Your essay contains a lot of words, but it hardly really actually says anything.  You say that the partisan divide in America is good, but offer very little actual justification.  The bulk of your essay is just describing what the divide is, and in a way whose language is heavily biased towards your own personal side of the spectrum.  I would mark it down quite heavily for that.

The actual small section of justification that is given for your stance that the partisan divide is good does not really make very much sense, as well, as you seem to be asserting that without the partisan divide there would be no diversity of beliefs and that everyone would presumably be forced to think the same thing, which does not exactly follow.  The fact that America of 2008 is better than the America of 1798 does not exactly mean that that improvement was caused by the party system.  I found that section hard to read; it seemed as if you weren't really sure what you were trying to say.

Warning the people against the party system was also only one of several points Washington made in his farewell address.  He also praised the federal government and described its benefits, declared religion and morality to be important, warned against permanent foreign alliances, and warned against a military that was too strong.  To only touch on what he said about the party system is ignoring the large bulk of what he had to say.

I would say that for this to get a good mark from me it would need quite heavy revision.