"I worked out with Barack Obama"

[YRABNNRM]

excellent post by the Moderate - though I guess I should have expected that he visited those types of sites.

Why would he need to visit "those types of sites" when the picture thread is here?

[Хahar 🤔]

You should send something to a magazine.

[??????????]

excellent post by the Moderate - though I guess I should have expected that he visited those types of sites.

Why would he need to visit "those types of sites" when the picture thread is here?

Touche

[Sam Spade]

excellent post by the Moderate - though I guess I should have expected that he visited those types of sites.

Why would he need to visit "those types of sites" when the picture thread is here?

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

You should send something to a magazine.

Been there, done that. 

excellent post by the Moderate - though I guess I should have expected that he visited those types of sites.

Why would he need to visit "those types of sites" when the picture thread is here?

That thread is just about raw animalistic lust.  Can't you see that what Obama and I have is true love?

[Sbane]

LOL  Mr. moderate that post was genius.

[Flying Dog]

Haha..

I'll pull Baracks lever anytime...

[Colin]

Great post, Moderate. That was probably the funniest thing I've read in the past couple of days.

Ok, in all seriousness, this sounded like a porno script.

Nah, if this was a porno his name would have been Bigrack Obanga.

[Ebowed]

Mind was blown.

[12th Doctor]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

[elcorazon]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

equally relevant to how "arrogant" he comes off, I'd say.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It was a long, hot November day.  Hotter than most.

I spent most of it out campaigning for John McCain, a man whom I had a crush on for some time.  Every moment I saw him on television—his aged, mole-free, glowing skin; built chest; muscular torso; tiger-cage ruined arm—I just knew he was the man for me.  I devoted months to learning about him, his thoughts, his dreams.

And finally, that moment had arrived.  I was going to vote for John McCain.

I entered the school gymnasium—it was almost empty, save for the voting machines.  Swallowing hard, I slipped behind the curtain and reached up to the McCain lever...my fingers lightly grazing the surface.

Just as I was about to pull downward, I heard a gentle voice from behind.

"Wouldn't you rather vote...for a real man?"

Startled, I turned around.  My mouth drew slightly agape as I gazed upon a black stallion dressed in a form-fitting Brooks Brothers suit.  It was...Barack.

Words failed me.  My finger slid from the McCain lever as my head started filling with confused thoughts.  I had wanted John McCain so badly... and here I was in the voting booth with another.

"Barack... but, I w..."

"Shhhhhh."

His bicep flexed a little in his oxford shirt as he drew his finger to my lips.  His mannerisms were confident; reassuring.  I stopped talking and looked him in the eye.

"I know you've been admiring me from afar, watching CNN for hours on end just to try and catch a glimpse of me."

I tried to argue the point in my head, but I just couldn't.  For so long I had deluded myself into thinking I was watching CNN to learn more about McCain and his positions on the issues.  But now, in this tiny voting booth with the towering, confident Obama... I could think of nothing more than his positions—no—our positions.

I started to nod silently as a slight smile curved across his lips.  He knew he had me.  Months of work for McCain...and yet being in the Illinois senator's presence for a few seconds had placed me firmly—firmly—in his column.

"I want.. I want to vote for you," I stammered.

His hand met mine, slowly bringing it up to his lever.  My heart started racing.

"I want you to vote for me, too," he replied.

I bit my lip a little as my fingers touched the sleek, metallic object.  I wanted to make him happy.  I had to make him happy.  I had to make him my president.

I swallowed hard as I applied pressure to his lever... slowing bringing it down to reveal the X—the X that proved my devotion and longing for him.  I turned back to look him in the eyes as a satisfying clunk rattled through the air.

I exhaled deep, filled with a happiness I'd never felt before.  But we weren't done, Obama and I.

"I want you to..." Obama gazed deep into my eyes; my soul as he paused, making sure he had my attention.  "I want you to vote straight ticket."

Straight ticket!?  Could I?  The thought never crossed my mind until now, until the powerful, manly legislator suggested it.  But there was no use fighting the feeling that was growing inside me.  This was destiny.  I had to.

"Yes, Barack!  Oh, God, yes!"  I screamed; my hands wildly attacking the voting machine, pulling the lever for John Kerry, Mike Capuano, and every single Democrat I could find there in that booth.  His cologne filled my nostrils as one X turned to two; two turned to three.  Soon, the entire machine was covered with votes...votes that proved my love for the ebony God before me.

My head flung back as I grabbed the massive lever that would cast my ballot, bonding me with Barack Obama forever.  His breath warm on my neck, my sweat-slicked fingers wrapped around it, slowly moving it to the right.

I screamed out in pleasure as my vote was recorded; the thunderous clank of the gears ringing out in the gym.  The curtains flew open behind us... our love for each other would be exposed.

Startled, I spun around... my hand not leaving the machine.  I had so much to explain, so many feelings I needed to get out.

But just as quickly as my black knight came...he was gone.  I gazed around the gymnasium for seconds that turned into minutes that turned into hours...seeing nothing but a few scattered elderly poll workers.

Had I imagined it?  Was Barack Obama real?

That night, I settled into bed, watching as Barack captured a record breaking 90% of the vote.  Democrats picked up Senate seats in Idaho, Wyoming, and even Utah, despite there not even being a Senate race there.  A smile spread across my face as I saw him stride confidently to the podium, ready to declare victory.

But before he spoke, he gazed directly into the camera.  And again, directly into my soul.  He gave me a sly smile and winked knowingly before starting his address.

At that moment, I knew that we both felt the same rush of destiny.  He was my president, now.  And I was his constitutent.

And I'd never felt so happy.  Or alive.

This should be quoted to every post of Walter and Duke's which is supposed to be a hilarious parody of Obama supporters.

[12th Doctor]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

equally relevant to how "arrogant" he comes off, I'd say.

That almost makes sense, since for the last for the last 6 years all the democrats have been able to talk about is the arrogance of the Bush Administration and how that is hurting the country.

Yes, a person's mindset has alot to do with what kind of leader they are, believe it or not... actually, I guess the "believe it or not part" for some is that this applies equally to Republicans and Democrats.

[The Duke]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

[Хahar 🤔]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

Nope. This one is:

"Hmm, what's this?  An email offering me an "i n$t@nt hUge c0c k"?..."

"... I'm slightly skeptical.  Oh well, let's give it a try anyway..."  (*replies*)

"... awesomely huge lady-cleaver, here I come!..."

"... any time now..."

"Well I'm stumped.  Okay, where's the number for their after-sales support?"

[Sbane]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

equally relevant to how "arrogant" he comes off, I'd say.

That almost makes sense, since for the last for the last 6 years all the democrats have been able to talk about is the arrogance of the Bush Administration and how that is hurting the country.

Yes, a person's mindset has alot to do with what kind of leader they are, believe it or not... actually, I guess the "believe it or not part" for some is that this applies equally to Republicans and Democrats.

The problem with the Bush administration is their unwillingness to change course when the going goes bad. Obama on the other hand has shown a lot of flexibility in his position on the economy and especially the Iraq war. Most of his "arrogance" or "elitism" is just stagecraft. 

[HardRCafé]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

Nope. This one is:

"Hmm, what's this?  An email offering me an "i n$t@nt hUge c0c k"?..."

"... I'm slightly skeptical.  Oh well, let's give it a try anyway..."  (*replies*)

"... awesomely huge lady-cleaver, here I come!..."

"... any time now..."

"Well I'm stumped.  Okay, where's the number for their after-sales support?"

Which has nothing even to do with politics.

[Gustaf]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

equally relevant to how "arrogant" he comes off, I'd say.

That almost makes sense, since for the last for the last 6 years all the democrats have been able to talk about is the arrogance of the Bush Administration and how that is hurting the country.

Yes, a person's mindset has alot to do with what kind of leader they are, believe it or not... actually, I guess the "believe it or not part" for some is that this applies equally to Republicans and Democrats.

The problem with the Bush administration is their unwillingness to change course when the going goes bad. Obama on the other hand has shown a lot of flexibility in his position on the economy and especially the Iraq war. Most of his "arrogance" or "elitism" is just stagecraft. 

You mean...FLIP-FLOPPING!

[Sbane]

OMG... he's soooo cool.  And as we all know, that's a top qualification for being leader of the free world.

equally relevant to how "arrogant" he comes off, I'd say.

That almost makes sense, since for the last for the last 6 years all the democrats have been able to talk about is the arrogance of the Bush Administration and how that is hurting the country.

Yes, a person's mindset has alot to do with what kind of leader they are, believe it or not... actually, I guess the "believe it or not part" for some is that this applies equally to Republicans and Democrats.

The problem with the Bush administration is their unwillingness to change course when the going goes bad. Obama on the other hand has shown a lot of flexibility in his position on the economy and especially the Iraq war. Most of his "arrogance" or "elitism" is just stagecraft. 

You mean...FLIP-FLOPPING!

HAHA yes I do mean flip flopping. If Bush had done a little more flip-floppin' we might not be in this situation in Iraq today.

[Хahar 🤔]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

Nope. This one is:

"Hmm, what's this?  An email offering me an "i n$t@nt hUge c0c k"?..."

"... I'm slightly skeptical.  Oh well, let's give it a try anyway..."  (*replies*)

"... awesomely huge lady-cleaver, here I come!..."

"... any time now..."

"Well I'm stumped.  Okay, where's the number for their after-sales support?"

Which has nothing even to do with politics.

But it's still the best.

[YRABNNRM]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

Nope. This one is:

"Hmm, what's this?  An email offering me an "i n$t@nt hUge c0c k"?..."

"... I'm slightly skeptical.  Oh well, let's give it a try anyway..."  (*replies*)

"... awesomely huge lady-cleaver, here I come!..."

"... any time now..."

"Well I'm stumped.  Okay, where's the number for their after-sales support?"

Which has nothing even to do with politics.

But it's still the best.

It's frightening how much free time you have.

[Хahar 🤔]

Best. Post. In. Forum. History.

Nope. This one is:

"Hmm, what's this?  An email offering me an "i n$t@nt hUge c0c k"?..."

"... I'm slightly skeptical.  Oh well, let's give it a try anyway..."  (*replies*)

"... awesomely huge lady-cleaver, here I come!..."

"... any time now..."

"Well I'm stumped.  Okay, where's the number for their after-sales support?"

Which has nothing even to do with politics.

But it's still the best.

It's frightening how much free time you have.

It frightens me, too.