The Byrd Presidency

[Meeker]

This timeline chronologues the tragic events leading up to and the even more tragic event of the Presidency of Robert C. Byrd.

Events occur in real time.

At approximately 10:03 PM and 56 seconds, President Bush collapses while getting ready for bed at Camp David. The First Lady screams for help, but by the time medical help arrives it is too late. It is later revealed that the President suffered from an previously unknown peanut allergy. It is never revealed how the President lived for 62 years without ever consuming a peanut product.

At approximately 10:21 PM and 14 seconds, Camp David staff phone the Naval Observatory to alert Vice President Cheney. Secret Service rush to the Cheney's bedroom, but upon arrival discover that the Vice President has died in his sleep from heart failure. Lynne is stricken that her husband, a man with the potential to stop three major terrorist attacks in urban areas should he choose to act at the correct time, has died.

At approximately 10:35 PM and 42.6 seconds, the Secret Service rushes to the Pelosis' home in the Georgetown area of Washington, D.C. They inform the Speaker of the events that have transpired in the past half hour and inform her that she must take the Oath of Office immediately.

At approximately 11:08 PM and 12 seconds, Chief Justice John Roberts arrives and the group proceeds to the Pelosi family library. Pelosi reaches up to retrieve the family Bible from off the shelf, but in a freak accident the book slips and lands on her head, knocking the Speaker into a coma. Doctors attempt to bring her out of it, but she appears to be unrevivable for the time being.

At approximately 11:33 PM and 22 seconds, the Secret Service alerts the house of Robert C. Byrd, the President Pro Tempore of the Senate. The Secret Service insists that Byrd take the Oath of Office immediately, but staff decided not to wake the Senator as he can be grumpy.

At approximately 11:39 and 38 seconds, the President-designate continues to sleep.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

LOL.

[RI]

Win.

[justfollowingtheelections]

hilarious

[LongIslandLiberal]

LOL!! Pelosi would so totally do that!!!

[Lief 🗽]

This is full of win.

[Psychic Octopus]

Victory.

[Captain Chaos]

C'mon, Senator Byrd. Wake up.