Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[Mr. Morden]

You could always threaten to infect everyone in the office with your germs if you don't get a good reference from him.

[/kidding]

Hope you feel better.

[Mr. Morden]

After all this buildup, I think it would be hilarious if he doesn't get fired at all.

Bushie then has to work all day while being sick.  (OK, that part wouldn't be hilarious.)

[Mr. Morden]

If this were really a TV show, what would happen is that Bushie would build up in his head that he was going to be fired.  Then he gets sick the night before, but figures…."Well, I don't really need to work tomorrow.  I'm just going to go in for an hour to get fired, and then can go home and sleep."

However, the meeting with his boss turns out to be just his boss telling him that he's on thin ice, but that he can keep his job if he finishes this one big really important job *today*, which will presumably include a lot of overtime.  That's why he was told not to come in on Monday, so that he can work longer hours on Tuesday.  Then Bushie has to work all day while sick, to avoid losing his job.

However, because he's sick, he isn't able to finish the project, and is fired.  But by pushing himself this hard, he ends up bed ridden for the next week, forcing him to miss an interview with Walmart.  He isn't able to get back to Walmart for another week, by which time it's too late, because they've already implemented their holiday season hiring freeze.

By this time, the entire office at Bushie's old workplace has been infected by the bug he brought in, and their staff shortages threaten to shut the place down.  However, Bushie brings in his Native American doctor, who uses ancient Native herbal remedies to cure the entire office.  Bushie's old boss is so impressed that he hires the Native American doctor on the spot, but gets a restraining order against Bushie, so that he can never bring in his germs again.

[Mr. Morden]

So the meeting with his boss is happening right now?

[Mr. Morden]

This is a man who believes he can't do anything positive for himself without help from a sky spook so...

His religion is one of the most damning thing about his motivations. He believes he's getting an afterlife so he sees no incentive to change his habits to lengthen and better his life. He's admitted that he doesn't fear an early death.

It's not just that.  He thinks the entire world will be coming to an end very soon:

I think Christ will be coming back to earth very soon...

In that case, why worry about having enough $ for retirement?

[Mr. Morden]

When I say it will be ending soon, I don't mean anytime in the immediate future.  I believe we are somewhere between 7 and 10 years away.

I guess we have Bushie's answer to this question:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=199454.0

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I can see how living in Oklahoma would give you that impression.

[Mr. Morden]

I'm not going to debate my views on the end time.  I was just answering a question.  Anyway, I am just relaxing tonight trying to make sure I'm feeling better to go down to my parents tomorrow afternoon for the weekend and several family dinners.  I'll be back to Tulsa Sunday.  I'll have my laptop and I'll put the resume on the cloud so I can still job search during the days Thursday and Friday.  If by some chance I have an interview one of the two days, I'll come back up here in the morning and go back after the interview.

So have you applied to Walmart yet?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie obviously doesn't want J-Mann to see him in person, because his true appearance would reveal some deep dark secret that isn't obvious when he hides behind internet anonymity.

Perhaps Bushie is actually a woman.  Or a 50 year old chain-smoking dwarf.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie obviously doesn't want J-Mann to see him in person, because his true appearance would reveal some deep dark secret that isn't obvious when he hides behind internet anonymity.

Perhaps Bushie is actually a woman.  Or a 50 year old chain-smoking dwarf.

Bushie has met Isaac (tmth4u), in fact they have a picture together when they met.........no Bushie is just as described, 30 ish 5'6" and about 300lbs

tmth4u is probably a sock or someone in on the deception.  There's no proof that any pictures are of the people they're purported to represent.

[Mr. Morden]

I will defer to science on this one.

How generous.

[Mr. Morden]

Jeff, keep working hard where you're at. You had a rough performance review but have had a number of good days since then, as well. That's what performance reviews are for -- to tell you where you need improvement and to help you get better.

If Jeff was truly as dispensable as everyone is claiming and his boss was really that over him, they'd let him go now. It's a really small company. Even without factoring in a burden rate, equipment costs, management time or potential turnover costs, Jeff will be a $12,960.00 investment for this company over the next 27 business days. Why would they throw that away if he's as useless and doomed as you all assume?

Plus, it doesn't seem like this place has it's sht together at all. When they moved offices, no one had ensured the phone system would be transferred at the same time, meaning Jeff's boss needed to hang back at the old office to answer phones. I wouldn't be surprised if his offer of a week off for a funeral was due to either a) a small, familial atmosphere, or b) a relief in his boss's own management duties -- and I don't mean that because Jeff is a bother, I mean because this guy probably can't manage his way out of a paper bag, and any employee causes him stress.

I can't predict the future, but their continued investment in Jeff would be foolish if he's truly doomed. Don't be blind to the atmosphere around you, Jeff, but don't get distracted from continuing to grow and learn, too. They seem to want to continue investing in you for the time being.

Thank you J-Mann, for calming down our chaotic barnyard of Chicken Littles.  IMO, CADD job lives! 

Lies.

Maybe his boss reads Update and realized the cost of keeping him on through the full 90 days?

Bushie's boss actually turned out to be Mondale84, and was just stringing him along this whole time.  That would be a cruel twist.

Bushie, whatever you do, don't accept a job offer from this man:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=170699.msg3664929#msg3664929

[Mr. Morden]

I'm hoping the first interview question isn't "Is it spelled CAD or CADD?".

[Mr. Morden]

I think we found what Our Dear Friend should pursue (I think it was eluded to earlier on this page): he must run for, and win, elected office. And unless Oklahoma has recall provisions, he wouldn't be terminated from his position within like two months.

Any attempt by him to run for office would result in Mondale leaking Update to the media.

That would actually make for one of the weirdest political scandals of all time.

[Mr. Morden]

I have a vacation in 5 days!

You have a high stress job, so you deserve it!

[Mr. Morden]

Sounds like you may have the bronchitis.

It's certainly possible.  I need to get it cleared up fast.  I have a vacation in 5 days!

Vacation from what? 

taking 2 naps a day and watching 12 straight hours of tv can be exhausting.

I could never do that. I just don't think I have what it takes to do that kind of hard stress work.

It's not as bad as it sounds, since he takes breaks to post on Atlas.

[Mr. Morden]

It turns out that I am staying at my parents' all weekend while they're on vacation to feed the dog and cat.

Would you be willing to take a picture of Blondie and post it here to prove that she's alive?

[Mr. Morden]

Hooray for leaving the ridiculously stretched page behind!

[Mr. Morden]

I wonder why he wasn't invited to the family vacation?

I thought it was because he was sick, and the family didn't want to bring him along to infect the plains.

[Mr. Morden]

Here is what I just shared with J-Mann about why I keep going back to customer service.  Any friendly advice would be helpful.

I have had a little success in the call centers, especially technical support call centers.  I was at Dell for an entire year with no problem and was only let go because I couldn't pass the Security+ Certification.  I was also at ONG for 2 years with no problem and that was customer service all the way, though not all call center.  I don't really want call centers, and I want CAD jobs, but those are hard to come by and I need a job.  So, I feel I have to open myself up to jobs that are less than pleasant.  I don't want to stay on my parent's financial ledger, and a lot of times I choose desperation over preferred.  I know there are other jobs out there, but I don't know what to look for.

Wait, wait wait.. lets pump the breaks here real quick. In past seasons, you told us they were getting ready to let you go at ONG. So how does that translate to being there with "no problems"?

Bushie likes to change the narrative to whatever is going to work best/sound nicest for the situation. 

Are we lambasting him for throwing away a steady job to chase a scam?  It's okay, guys.  I was on my last legs at ONG, anyway, and Dad said yadda yadda yadda

Now we are confronting him about looking into customer service AGAIN after he swore it off not one week ago?  It's okay, guys.  I was a model customer service representative at ONG for TWO years, and all I have to do is believe in yadda yadda God blah blah Dad. 

It's classic Update material. 

(I'm sorry for being more caustic than normal with you, Jeff, but you really need a reality check right no
w.  Take a spa day and have some herbal tea and reflect.  I'm serious.)

There's also the fact he was only at Dell for 2 months

I was at Dell an entire year (June 2011-May 2012).

Can somebody bust out the Update archives and fact check this. I'm on my phone and it's not working right. Otherwise I would. I can't recall Bushie ever having a job for a whole year since ONG. I could be wrong but I think I'd remember something like that.

I'm pretty sure Bushie is right.  2011 was the most boring year of Update.  This was post-2010 drama, but pre-Kenya and pre-Utah.  Update even disappeared from Atlas for nearly six months as Bushie relocated it to a blog, but there wasn't much interest.  Then in early 2012, we had the trip to Kenya, and that was the main focus for a while, and people weren't really focused on his job situation, which in any case seemed OK then.  Then he was fired from Dell, before finding the job at Xerox.

[Mr. Morden]

And remember when it took them a week to figure out whether it was a boy or girl?

A week?  It was closer to a month.  Actually, I just went back to reread that section of Update, and realized that the sex went back and forth several times:

June 11: Blondie discovered on front porch, is a female:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=174552.msg3758460#msg3758460

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June 13: Blondie renamed to J.J., which is more of a boy's name, because she's now male (?):

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=174552.msg3761197#msg3761197

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June 30: Must be a girl now?

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=174552.msg3780017#msg3780017

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July 7: Back to male:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=174552.msg3787583#msg3787583

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July 8: Trip to the vet confirms female:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=174552.msg3789266#msg3789266

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[Mr. Morden]

He said JJ had a boy personality. Sounds like JJ/Blondie is a trans, which would explain all the confusion.

Blondie is an asexual trans victimologist.

[Mr. Morden]

Are Blondie and Nancy still left outside all day in the heat of summer and cold of winter?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, out of curiosity, since you left ONG, have there been any years in which you were in the black?  That is, your total income for the year was enough to pay for all your expenses that year?  Because you've had several jobs (particularly in 2011, I think) that lasted for several months, so I'm curious if those months of employment has ever been enough to offset the times of unemployment.  Or have you been going farther and farther into the red ever since ONG?

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, if you can't afford your lifestyle on the kind of salary you can get from these jobs, would you consider getting a roommate?

[Mr. Morden]

BTW, we just entered Texas

I've still got a small cough….

Update XVIII: Bushie introduces Ebola to Oklahoma