Improv (add on to the story)

[The Other Castro]

"I'm gluten intolerant, you fool!" Vince exclaimed. This insult was too much for him to handle, and he knew that he needed to create as much distance as possible between himself and these starch-loving heathens.

[TDAS04]

Vince decided to head back into the country side, where he unknowingly crossed the border into Burma.

[JonathanSwift]

He hiked through hours of jungle, until it was too dark to continue. He rested in the mud, with a leaf-covered branch as his blanket and a rock his pillow. Just as he was drifting off into uncomfortable sleep, he heard the bone-chilling growl of a tiger in the nearby bushes.

[/]

Of course, the tiger that Vince heard was none other than famous gay pornographic film actor Tiger Tyson, who was at the time soliciting his services throughout the Burmese countryside. Eager to relieve himself, Vince payed Tyson for his services and after a long night of relatively aggressive "fun times", continued on his journey.

[JonathanSwift]

About noon he found his way to an isolated village. The natives, who had never before seen a white man, were startled by his appearance and assumed him to be a god.

[/]

However, as these natives were used to being deceived by false gods, they had created a test to accurately determine who was and wasn't a true deity. They administered the test upon Vince, who was lowered into a large pit of quicksand and instructed (using easily-understandable sign language) to escape the pit in order to prove his true godliness.

[Badger]

Fortunately, Vince had authored the 7 weeks Queensland Times best seller: How to Escape From Quicksand the Quick and Easy Way. Why, there was an entire chapter on quicksand pits (vs. pools and swamp slurry, covered in Chapter 21 and 79 respectively). He even had a large footnote on distinctions between Burmese and Malaysian quicksand.

Before one could read the Forward penned by Tony Randall, Vince had sprung forth from the pit with a triple-back Flemogian spin (Chapters 45-48), and was acclaimed by the Village as God on Earth.

[JonathanSwift]

He ruled the villagers for seven years, fathering children with the finest village maidens and performing great feats of which there is not room to tell here. Then, one day while out hunting, he found a mysterious cave. He entered the cave and found out that it was a tunnel. When he emerged on the other side, the foliage had changed -- it was as though he had traveled back into time. That's when he saw the pterodactyls circling overhead.

[/]

Suddenly, one of the pterodactyls swooped down to Vince and began speaking in relatively well-rehearsed English.

"Hello. I see that you have discovered the portal to our world. Many moons ago, our dinosaur civilization thrived in peace and prosperity, with dinosaurs of all species living among each other in a state of seemingly eternal bliss. However, we soon discovered that one of our own had accidentally opened a portal to the future. Soon, many of your species began crossing over into Dino Land, two of which began to domesticate the dinosaurs, eventually leading to an armed dinosaur conflict. These two powerful commanders each grew their respective armies, and Dino Land has ever since been stuck in a perpetual state of war."

"Who are the two humans who started the war among the dinosaurs?" asked Vince, shocked.

"Why of course, none other than Commander Tiger Tyson of the North and Commander Ronald Reaganghost of the South."

[JonathanSwift]

He turned around to go back, but saw that the cave-portal was now closed. Vince knew that he had been sent here for a purpose, and that he would have to help the denizens of Dino Land, if he was ever to be allowed to return to his own time.

[/]

Dino Land

Red: Land Controlled by Commander Tiger Tyson of the North
Blue: Land Controlled by Commander Ronald Reaganghost of the South
Green: Land given to Vince as a gesture of goodwill
Uncolored: Unclaimed Territories

(sorry if these posts are becoming extensive or annoying, if so please tell me)

[RR1997]

Meanwhile, Vince's wife (her name is Karen) and kids are worried because it's been 7 years and Vince still hasn't come back from his DC trip. One day, someone knocks on the front door of their house, and Karen opens the door. This visitor was about to change her life forever. The visitor was no one other then..

[Thunderbird is the word]

Lincoln Chafee

[RR1997]

(This story started out in 2008 btw and now it's 2015)

"What do you want, old man?" Karen asked Chafee after letting him in the house.

"Karen, I'm Lincoln Chafee and I need your help. I'm running for president, and I want you to be my campaign manager. Right now I'm polling at 0%, but with your help, we can win this."

Karen reluctantly agrees and the two hop on a plane to Iowa.

[Thunderbird is the word]

Shortly after touching down in Des Moines, Iowa Karen and Lincoln Chafee noticed something strange, everyone in the airport had a dead stare in their eyes and there skin all had a yellowish tinge. "What's the first event on my schedule?" Lincoln Chafee asked suspiciously. "It appears to be the corn growers association." Without warning a trap door opened and they fell fifty stories into a mysterious looking room with a typewriter on the wall and decor which looked like it hadn't been updated since the 1970s. The room appeared empty at first, except for a man wearing a labcoat and glasses, and his assistant, a 20 something girl with long black hair and wearing bell bottoms. "We have been down here for the past 37 years, you are the only man who can save America from the Corn Zombies of Iowa," he said in a cryptic voice.

[/]

Lincoln and Karen were shocked. "Who are you?" the presidential candidate asked, astonished.

"I am Ernie Sanders, the long-lost brother of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders," the man in the lab coat and glasses answered. "This is my assistant, Ashley Madison, who I created twenty years ago through means of the Human Asexual Reproduction Module (HARM), which I invented seventeen years after being trapped in this cursed laboratory."

Madison waved to the two startled travelers. Meanwhile, Sanders continued his explanation. "Thirty-seven years ago, I was a mere lad working as a..." Suddenly, he was cut off by Karen, who began crying hysterically. "Why are you crying?" asked the scientist. "Sorry," Karen replied. "It's just that thirty-seven was the favorite number of my husband, Vince, who disappeared seven years ago. You reminded me of him."

"Don't worry," replied Sanders. "Throughout my time trapped in this laboratory, I also created the Automatic Prime Person Locator of Efficiency (APPLE), which I can use to find your husband by simply pressing the red button." He pressed the button.

Suddenly, a portal opened. On the other side of it was Vince, who was sitting at a small, brown, circular table with a young, athletic Hispanic man and an old, smiling white man in a suit.

"VINCE!" Karen yelled, elated. The three men at the table stepped into the laboratory from the portal, which closed immediately. "Hi, Karen! Great to see you!" Vince replied, smiling. "To make a long story short, I just finished negotiating a peace treaty between my two friends here, Tiger Tyson and Ronald Reaganghost, who were previously opposing generals in a war between the dinosaurs."

Karen looked puzzled. "Vince... are you... okay?" she asked, afraid that her husband had suffered some form of insomnia while away. But before he could reply, the group heard a sudden motion behind them. The corn zombies had arrived! They cornered Vince, Karen, Sanders, Madison, Chafee, Tyson, and Reagan, into one of the laboratory's corners, and were about to kill them when all of a sudden:

[RR1997]

Sanders pulled out a time travel device from his pocket. His time travel device had a "Randomize" button. If clicked, they would time travel to any random place at any random time. The zombies were catching up on them. They had no time.

Sanders decided to click the "Randomize" button on his time travel device. They escaped the zombies!

Karen, Sanders, Madison, Chafee, Tyson, and Reagan time traveled to New York City. They had no idea what year the time travel device sent them back to. They went inside a coffee shop to grab something to drink. Sanders politely asks a lady what the date is. She tells him that it's "September the 11th, 2001."

He looks at a clock on the wall. The time was 8:36 AM. Sanders knew that Flight 11 hit the World Trade Center at 8:46 AM. The coffee shop they were in was located right in front of the World Trade Center. Sanders pulled out his time travel device only to find out that the device ran out of battery. There was no way to escape.

The gang started to panic, when suddenly...