The Comedy Goldmine

[Mechaman]

I wonder who Pacquiao would have voted for. Romney or Obama

Manny got knocked so far into the past his choices are Kennedy or Nixon.

[Mechaman]

Quayle does have experience on his side.

As much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency.

And as much intelligence as Jack Kennedy after he "left" Presidency.

Mr. Kennedy's intelligence after he "left" the Presidency was at least very wide, being spreaded across Dallas.

[Mechaman]

Not yet! We need a fascist to chime in for it to be complete! Where's Inks?

[Mechaman]

Out of all the Presidents who could be called Liberal historically, who are the ones who were truly Liberal in their own personal ideology and not just Liberal for political pragmatism? Basically, Presidents who were "true believers" and not just Liberal because it was politically expedient to be.

Presidents who IMO could be called Liberal in today's politcal climate:
-Theodore Roosevelt
-William H. Taft
-Woodrow Wilson
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
-Harry S. Truman
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
-John F. Kennedy
-Lyndon B. Johnson
-Richard M. Nixon
-Gerald Ford
-Jimmy Carter
-Barack Obama

[Mechaman]

Not sure if we have LOL awards, but this post definitely qualifies:

I'll have to avoid the screening rooms.  The floors are gonna be all sticky...

[Mechaman]

Context: previous poster.

Your girlfriend is eleven? You like'em young, huh?

[Mechaman]

Context: A Wormyguy thread about rape

[Mechaman]

Larry Craig was foot tapping in a stall to get his poop to come out. When he was out of toilet paper he reached under the stall and asked for some from a man who happened to be a cop. When arrested, Larry Craig was offered a stupid plea bargain to agree to a disorderly conduct after showing the police his senate badge. What Larry Craig should've done is plead not guilty because his conduct wasn't disorderly. He was foolish especially for a U.S. Senator. By pleading guilty to the plea bargain, Larry Craig was basically saying he was doing something he didn't do. Therefore, the Republican Party couldn't defend him because he admitted to a disorderly conduct. Had he told the truth and plead not guilty, then he'd have been fine.

[Mechaman]

No, individual politics is for "who would you vote for in the Yugoslavian election of 1923?!?" polls while political debate is for discussing important topics like opebo's romantic history and barfbag's newest 12-step program to solve the situation in the Congo.

So true.

[Mechaman]

One thing's for sure.  This new troll sure is cocky.

[Mechaman]

For newer posters, a note regarding ARG:

How ARG conducts their polling:

First, numbers are picked randomly out of a hat


Then, through a contract with the local school district, third grade students are told to take the numbers and use them as variables in the "The Supersecret Highly Intelligent Turnout formula", hereafter known as The S.H.I.T. formula


It doesn't matter if they do the math correctly - that's what the margin of error is for

ARG then randomly calls a number determined by The S.H.I.T. formula. Racial turnout is based upon what color pen the third-graders used


ARG then subtracts 7 from one of the candidates totals, 'cause 7 is their lucky number

NOTE: ARG is currently considering switching to a new polling methodology involving bloodhounds, a bundle of bananas, and a bingo parlor off I-67

Hahahhaha

[Mechaman]

[Mechaman]

Best post in history:

2008
Al Smith had won a bruising primary campaign against former Clinton Secretary of State William G. McAdoo. McAdoo, a moderate and ally of the former administration, had long been favored to win the nomination given establishment and DLC backing. However, his centrist stances, combined with the Smith call for "change" eventually won over a coalition of urban, working class, Catholic, and activist voters, complete with double wins in Iowa and New Hampshire. While McAdoo struck back in the South, it would be Smith who eventually claimed the nomination. Choosing Senator Joe Biden of Delaware to give himself experience, it was hoped that the Democratic ticket could shift the Republican tide for good.

Governor Alfred E. Smith of New York
Former Secretary of the Treasury William G. McAdoo of California

However, it was not to be. While the Democrats' activists had won out in the primary, it would be the Republican establishment that controlled the GOP's nomination contest. Combining moderate and liberal Republicans with "common sense" and fiscal conservatives, as well as heavy backing from nationally known figures, John McCain would triumph over Bush favorite former Governor Frank Lowden of Illinois. In order to rejuvenate the base, expand on his "maverick" image, and appeal to women, McCain chose the fresh face Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska.

Senator John S. McCain, III of Arizona
Former Governor Frank O. Lowden of Illinois
Senator James Eli Watsen of Indiana

The campaign would be brutal, however, Republicans would take the early advantage. Lambasting the Empire State Governor as a "Papist" who wanted to decriminalize marijuana, sell out the nation to Rome, ease up on illegal immigrants, and "surrender" in America's wars overseas, Smith soon found his polling numbers falling. While McCain's running mate went on the attack, the Arizona Senator portrayed himself as an above-the-fray statesman, touting his maverick and even "progressive" record during the last eight years in the Senate. McCain promised to revitalize American infrastructure, raise tariffs to protect America's domestic industry, lower the deficit, and ease up on things such as the Bush-era ban on stem cell research. Being hailed by some as the "true face of change" in the election--as opposed to Smith--McCain's numbers would soar. With rumors escaping that Smith wasn't even born in America and in fact was from Ireland, as well as citing alleged radical affiliations to socialist groups and the IRA, the Democratic ticket was doomed. On election day, McCain would be elected in a landslide against Smith, who only took the heavily Catholic states of Massachusetts and Rhode Island, the liberal Hawaii, Washington DC, and the Deep South. Pollsters and political scientists would credit Smith's victories in the South for a two reasons: the McCain campaign's alienation of blacks as well as conservative disenfranchisement due to McCain's victory over Lowden. Some would as well theorize that, given the moderate McCain campaign, the South chose instead to swing back to its Democratic roots, much in the same way the North had for the Republicans.

Senator John S. McCain, III (R-AZ)/Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK) 462 electoral votes, 58.22% of the popular vote
Governor Alfred E. Smith (D-NY)/Senator Joseph R. Biden (D-DE) 76 electoral votes, 40.79% of the popular vote
Mr. Ralph Nader (I-CT)/Mr. Matthew Gonzalez (I-CA) 0 electoral votes, .73% of the popular vote
Others: 0 electoral votes, .26% of the popular vote

While McCain was riding high his first few months in, the stock market crash of '09 would doom his presidency. While his administration blamed Clinton and Bush policies for the failure, the American public reacted against the incumbent. Smith's successor as Governor, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., would beat him as well as House Speaker John Nance Garner for the Democratic nomination. Kennedy/Garner would win against McCain/Palin in a landslide in the 2012 presidential election. Smith, bitter with his defeat and disaffected by the Democrats in general, would take a swing to the right and endorse Kansas Governor Sam Brownback in the 2016 election.