Hugh's plan for a better world

[DanielX]

37. Hugh is chained to a rock, with a vulture continuously feasting on his entrails.

It would be his liver, you dolt

Besides, Hugh being Prometheus would be like such a compliment.

Okay, then...

38. Hugh is chained to a rock, with a snake continuously dripping acid on his body.

[Platypus]

39. Hugh charms the snake with his superb tongue, and puts DanielX and all other dissidents into Chinese mines.

[Bacon King]

39. Hugh charms the snake with his superb tongue, and puts DanielX and all other dissidents into Chinese mines.

40. Chinese mines are ruled unsanitary and thus in violation of #8.

[Platypus]

no, they are now sanitary. The piping is wonderful. Undfortunately, they have a tendedcy to cave in. Daily. Because I get everyone else to stomp ontop of them.

[DanielX]

41. DanielX time-travels, preventing 1-40 from ever coming into existance. Also, Hugh is thrown into Cygnus X-1.

[KillerPollo]

41. DanielX time-travels, preventing 1-40 from ever coming into existance. Also, Hugh is thrown into Cygnus X-1.

42. Captain Jean-Luc Picard appears out of nowhere doing the Llama song.

[Platypus]

43. Hugh goes back in time and becomes King of Jerhughsalem

[KillerPollo]

43. Hugh goes back in time and becomes King of Jerhughsalem

wow. You're gonna have to build a LOOOOOT of bathhouses!

[DanielX]

44. DanielX goes back in time and convinces Moses that the Promised Land is really Lebanon and provides technical knowledge to hlep the Isrealites take over the Phoenicians. 300 years later, the Hebraic Empire, centered around what would today be called Beirut, stretches from Babylon to Spain. This change completely eliminates not only 1-43 but prevents the existance of King Hugh of Jerusalem. Of course, English as we know it doesn't even exist - the Anglo-Saxons never settle Britain, and the Britons (and thus the Americans - although nobody calls them such) speak a language that's a sort-of cross between Welsh and Hebrew. Of course, the whole world is about 50 years more advanced technologically, with the Britanian Empire, the Neo-Parthians, Qing China, and the Baltic Imperium competing for global dominance.

[Platypus]

omg you destroyed the world, Daniel.

And all I wanted was a better world. *sob*

[ilikeverin]

45.

[KillerPollo]

45.

46. Everyone becomes Razzy for some reason.

[DanielX]

omg you destroyed the world, Daniel.

And all I wanted was a better world. *sob*

Uhm. I didn't destroy it. I simply altered it - and thanks to my compu-tronic technology, we all still exist in the world. We're simply speaking in completely different languages, using a different system instead of the internet, and doing completely different things .

EDIT: and you'll be happy to know that Opebo can't get his jollies in Thailand - at least not Thailand as we know it; what we call Thailand is inhabited largely by descendents of Germanic/Mongoloid raiders; the Thais live in what we'd call Laos and northern Vietnam. 

[MaC]

47.The United States is divided up into a pseudo-confederacy.  This is a federal system that's close to a confederacy.  Appointed as the King,by himself--Milk_and_Cereal (who else, I mean really?)  States are divided into regions with appointed governor-generals as follows:

AkSaber-gets Alaska, Hawaii, and he can take Cali too.
Bob gets Oregon.  He later acquires Washington after the retarded governor Alcon died in a war with Cashcow.
Everett flees California, but goes on to take Montana, Nebraska, the Dakotas, and Idaho.
Daniel X takes Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Utah, and Nevada.
King gets the Southwest-Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Arizona.
StatesRights gets Florida, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
Missouri-gets bought from Thailand, after the communism of opebo turns the state into one large lion den/M&M parlor/brothel, and the economy goes broke in a record time of 12 minutes, 34 seconds.
Minnesota-divides into the North (The Cute Animal and Lots of Smily-Hugs Community of Minnesota), and the South (The People's Republic of Adult Entertainment)--just guess who run these states.
 PBrunsel-Iowa
muon2-Illinois
David S-Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio.
Wisconsin-Beef, for a minute, but was then was deposed after he turned Dean to the Dark Side.  The Jedi commuity put Masterjedi in it's place.
Dibble-Georgia
The Carolinas-civil war between Ebowed and Bono.
Virginias, Maryland, Delaware-civil war between Phillip and Liberty
Max Power-takes Pennsylvania
Emsworth-takes New Jersey
Texasgurl can have New Hampshire
Erc-the rest of New England

King Milk_and_Cereal resides in his palace (made without taxpayer money and by people who I hired in at a fair wage-depending on what kind of work they do) in East Lansing.  The King will install a new governor-general if he sees the others as unfit to lead.  The King also, will only have two government departments-the External (Cereal) department takes care of the military, and creating peace treaties, and such; the Internal (Milk) department owns the roads, the post office, and establishing a justice system.

Ahhhhhh, now we can live in utopia.  There's no point in posting here any more.  Everyone will obviously agree that this is the best-possible scenario.

[Platypus]

48. Hugh gets the rest of the world, makes Earl deputy in charge of Canada. Together, they invade the former US and Hugh takes control of the whole world.

[MaC]

49.no they don't guns are illegal, so they really can't do sh**t to us

[Platypus]

50. Guns are illegal, but we have the power of hypnosis. And mace.

[MaC]

50. Guns are illegal, but we have the power of hypnosis. And mace.

51.    pays 7 colorless, all libertarians gain protection from hynosis and mace.  Libertarians had all guns returned to their hands back a while ago, so we can shoot the border jumpers.

[DanielX]

52a (in alt-History). DanielX deposes Hugh. Everything is nice and happy in the Westland Commonwealth, and Caledonia, and Mu-Lan-P'i. Okay, the Neo-Maya states aren't so Nice, but that's their own stupid fault (this is the timeline I created with the Hebraic Empire and everything). BTW, ladies from Mu-Lan-P'i are pretty hot, by our standards.

52b. (in this-History). DanielX deposes Hugh. Everything is nice and happy in the various states Milk_And_Cereal carved up.

[ilikeverin]

48. Hugh gets the rest of the world, makes Earl deputy in charge of Canada. Together, they invade the former US and Hugh takes control of the whole world.

Even The Cute Animal and Lots of Smily-Hugs Community of Minnesota?

[angus]

Step 1. Evacuate all Israelis and Palestinians, build a 200 ft. high, 10 meter wide concrete wall around the ISrael-palestine area; flood it and turn it into an underwater theme park.

or or just relocate palestine/israel to New Orleans.  the water's already there.

2. See step 1, re: Northern Ireland, Chechnya, North Korea, Kosovo, etc.

once again, shipping is cheaper than wall-building.  especially if you do it in the style of illegal chinese immigrants holed up in cargo containers on transport ships. 

3. shoot the nukes to the sun

along with the car alarms, if possible.

4. Shoot the other wmds to jupiter

removing those annoying car alarms would go a long way toward real world peace.  those other wmds have never awakened me.  or you, I'm guessing.

5. put all the guns into the bottom of the marinas trench

certainly would give us with some basic metallurgical and engineering training a marked advantage over the liberal arts types.  initially anyway.

6. Free basic healthcare to everyone

...so long as they can afford it.

7. Free basic education to everyone

especially some of the more intransigent members of this forum.  (red avatars come to mind)

8. Sanitation for everyone

the french would reject this one, no doubt.

9. No drugs

you lost me here.  on so many levels.  I'm pretty heavily into Merck and Roche, for starters.  Also, it seems to directly contradict your number 6.

10. Better scriptwriters for the Simpsons

I thought for sure you'd have written Bush, not Simpsons.  I'm okay with what the simpson's are doing, generally.  At least they're spending less of my money.

[Platypus]

drugs=illicit drugs. I call medical drugs medications.

And whilst this'd make the world better, it's not terribly qwell thought out

[angus]

drugs=illicit drugs. I call medical drugs medications.

And whilst this'd make the world better, it's not terribly qwell thought out

after all, why let forethought get in the way of posting?

let's see if we have this right...  if valium comes from a fat bastard with AMA backing, it's called "medication" and is good.  if it comes from a black guy on the street, it's called "drug" and is bad.  if the money you use to purchase the valium helps make the lexus payment for that fat bastard, the valium is "medication" and it's good, but if it's used to help buy pablum for a gangster's baby, it's called "drug" and it's bad.  if valium sales help make an insurance company more wealthy, it's called "medication" but if it valium sales takes money out of the suburbs and ultimately into the porn and tobacco shops of the inner city, it's called "drug"

wow, you're a better republican than I, hugh 

[Platypus]

no, it's medication the whole time. It's just illegally acquired

[Ebowed]

The Carolinas-civil war between Ebowed and Bono.

I see no reason why Bono and I would go to war.