Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Mr. Morden]

Un-shun.

Re-shun.

Posting this doesn't excuse the fact that you clearly lack the self-control to not post in this thread.

Inks should stop reading Update once for every day that Bushie walks.  By working together, they can strengthen their collective self control.

[Mr. Morden]

Think of the Update as a wreck (many on here have classified this is as such), and the viewers as the spectators.  Its hard to turn away!

BushOK: Screwing up his life for your entertainment since 2009.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie's going to drive to the airport every day and eat at the burger place.

He should just stay at the hotel near the airport in Nairobi, and never leave.  After all, you never know when it might snow, and driving in the snow would be dangerous.

[Mr. Morden]

You should take the dog for a walk.

Indeed.  Bushie, dogs need real exercise.  As in, you need to walk them.  Are you ever going to walk Blondie?

[Mr. Morden]

You should take the dog for a walk.

Indeed.  Bushie, dogs need real exercise.  As in, you need to walk them.  Are you ever going to walk Blondie?

we know the answer to that question.  blondie is sweltering outside.

If Bushie's going to both leave the dog outside all day and never walk it, then he should try to find a new owner for the dog who'll actually take care of it properly.

[Mr. Morden]

We do play fetch with the dog to get him running.  We throw out one of his toys and have him fetch it and bring it back.

A few rounds of fetch each day doesn't cut it Bushie.  If you're not willing to walk your dog, then you should hire someone else to do it.

EDIT: Larger point is, if no one in the household has ever owned a dog before, then you should talk to someone who has for advice on how to take care of it.  Because I don't really trust your family's blind instincts on something like this.

[Mr. Morden]

We do play fetch with the dog to get him running.  We throw out one of his toys and have him fetch it and bring it back.

A few rounds of fetch each day doesn't cut it Bushie.  If you're not willing to walk your dog, then you should hire someone else to do it.

EDIT: Larger point is, if no one in the household has ever owned a dog before, then you should talk to someone who has for advice on how to take care of it.  Because I don't really trust your family's blind instincts on something like this.

We've owned several dogs in the past.  The last one died in 2000.  We've been a cat family since 1998, and haven't had a dog in 13 years, but we know how to take care of one.  J.J. is in good hands.

And did you ever walk your previous dogs, or just play fetch with them?

[Mr. Morden]

Leaving the dog outside is not cruel and unusual punishment as it were.

Obviously, many here disagree with that.  If you're going to post that you're doing what many here consider cruel, don't be surprised that they voice their opinions on the matter.

[Mr. Morden]

While I agree the dog needs some socialization and shelter, it would be nice to see the Forum half as outraged about the conditions of the human characters in the story. Daddy works 60 hours a week just to keep the family in a trailer. How about some indignation about that situation?

He's worthy of some sympathy as well, sure.  But Bushie only takes advantage of him as much as he allows.  Papa Bushie could always cut Bushie off if he so desired.  Blondie has no such option.

[Mr. Morden]

Someone should write some Update fanfiction.

If Bushie isn't able to post from Kenya and there's an Update drought, then I'll post some "The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie" on Sunday.

[Mr. Morden]

To be fair though, Bushie believing that the secret to weight loss is drinking above average amounts of water has been one of the enduring tropes of the Update saga.

Yes, he believes it's that easy, yet he can't bring himself to do it!

[Mr. Morden]

It should be 2:48am in Oklahoma right now, shouldn't it?  Bushie, your alarm was supposed to wake you up at 2:45, right?

IF YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING, THEN WAKE UP!!!  YOUR ALARM DIDN'T WORK!

[Mr. Morden]

I'm afraid that's all I can do in terms of waking Bushie up in time.

[Mr. Morden]

Only a few airlines offer WiFi on flights, and it's pretty much exclusively done on domestic flights.  Doing it on international flights, especially over the middle of the ocean, is a bigger technical challenge, and I think only one or two airlines has experimented with that, and it's even more expensive than WiFi on domestic flights.  I've never been on an international flight with WiFi.  Only seen it on domestic flights within the US.

[Mr. Morden]

It really is annoying how you can't normally get WiFi on international flights btw.  Because it's those really long flights, the 14 hour ones between Sydney and LA, where I could really use it, and would probably pay through the nose for it.

[Mr. Morden]

The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie

Episode 1: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Blondie sits in front of a campfire inside his dog house.  A hobo steps through the dog house doorway, and joins him at the fire.]

Hobo: I hope you don't mind if I take shelter in here?

Blondie: I'm just a dog.  Who am I to complain?

Hobo: Fair enough.

Blondie: But if you really want shelter, you should knock on the door of the adjacent mobile home.  You know, a mobile home for humans.  This is a dog house, genius.

Hobo: The Bushie family?  I can't stand them.  You see, the kid in that family, BushOklahoma, had abandoned his house, and it turned into a great location for group sex for myself and my associates.  However, we were found out, and the police got involved, and the whole thing was a mess.  BushOK actually moved back here from out of state, and began regular patrols of the property.  I mean, he started driving by the house for a few minutes at least once a week.  How are we supposed to ensure our privacy when he's harassing us like that?  Ever sense then, I've been trying to kill him, or at least maim him, by dropping rocks off of nearby buildings.

Blondie: So, you know the Bushie family as well?  I've actually been adopted by them.  It's a rather unfortunate state of affairs though.  I show up here a few weeks ago, looking for food and shelter.  I figure I was owned by some other family, but I don't know.  I was only a six week old puppy.  What the hell do I know?  Can you remember what happens from one day to the next when you're six weeks old?  Anyway, I show up, figure they'll return me to my owner.  Seems like they make a halfhearted attempt to find my owner.  Next thing I know, I'm being left out here in the heat all day with minimal shelter and very little human companionship.  On top of that, they start calling me J.J. for no good reason.  I'd already learned that my name was Blondie.  You're going to confuse a puppy like that?  So they won't let inside their mobile home, and they only come out briefly each day to throw a ball for me to retrieve.  Sometimes the old man walks me, but it's not much.  It's gotten worse, since BushOK left for his week in Kenya.  Hope he comes back soon, and makes a real effort to find my original owner.

Hobo: I see.  Sounds like we both have reasons to hold a grudge against the Bushie family.

Blondie: Indeed we do.......Can I ask you three more questions?

Hobo: Sure, no problem.  I've got all the time in the world.

Blondie: OK, well, I'm not sure I know how to put this.  But how do you explain what's happening to you right now: a talking dog, a campfire inside a dog house which should not logically be large enough to fit a camp fire, a dog, and a human?

Hobo: Oh, yeah.  That.  Well, I'm pretty high right now, so nothing would surprise me.  In any case, if I can't explain it, can you?  What's your explanation for how you can talk, and why the dog house is so big on the inside, like the Tardis or something?

Blondie: Don't know.  I'm just a dog.  How am I supposed to know how the world works?  Anyway, my second question is: What's your name?  I told you mine was Blondie.  How about you?

Hobo: I don't actually know my real name.  I have amnesia.  That is, everything before about 2008 is kind of a fog.  Tried to find out who I was, but I lost the will to keep looking for clues, became destitute, and found release in the orgies I participate in.  Anyway, the only name I know is the one I've taken on for myself, Hog.

Blondie: Well Hog, nice to meet you.

[Blondie puts out his paw to shake, and Hog takes it and greets him.]

Hog: So what's your third question?

Blondie: You asked if you could take shelter in here.  Well, shelter from what, specifically?  Just an "I'm homeless, and I need some place to sleep" kind of shelter, or are you taking refuge from something in particular?

Hog: You mean you don't know?  There's a tornado coming.  Can't you hear the winds?  You're a dog, so I thought you'd have super hearing or something.

Blondie: A tornado?!?

[Blondie starts digging furiously in the dirt, which sprays onto the fire, and puts it out.]

Hog: What are you doing?

Blondie: [Blondie continues to dig as he responds.]  Digging.  If there's a tornado on the way, we have to get to low ground.  There's nowhere around where there's low ground.  So we make some low ground by digging.  I mean, I'm a dog.  It's the only good response I have in a crisis like this.

[Hog peers out the dog house door at the approaching storm.]

Hog: It's too late for that now.

[Moments later, the dog house is swept up by the approaching winds, and launched high into the air.  Blondie and Hog hang onto the house for dear life.

As they're sucked into the vortex, they look out at the debris flying through the air.  They see mobile homes, and what look like human bodies, both dead and alive.

Nearby, they see what looks like Inks riding a bicycle in the air.  It slowly morphs into an image of Inks riding a broomstick and cackling.  It looks remarkably like the 3:08 mark in this clip, but with the human characters as male rather than female.

Finally, the dog house, with Blondie and Hog inside, crashes to the ground, and Hog loses consciousness.

An undetermined amount of time later, Hog wakes up to Blondie licking his face.]

Hog: What are you doing?

Blondie: Waking you up.  Sorry for the crude method, but I'm a dog.  It's the only way I know how.

Hog: No sweat.  [Hog stands up and looks around.]  How long was I out?

Blondie: Don't know.  But look!  [He points.]  The dog house is still in relatively good shape.  And the tornado's gone.  Looks like it wasn't as destructive as we thought.  And we haven't even been displaced that far from our original location.  The Bushie family trailer home is right there, just 100 yards or so away.

Good morning.

[Bushie appears behind them.  Blondie and Hog are startled at Bushie's surprise appearance.  But Hog quickly picks up the nearest rock and tosses it at Bushie's head.  The rock miraculously flies right through Bushie's head and he's unharmed.]

Oh, throwing rocks at me won't hurt.  I mean, I know you're my friend and you're just looking out for me, even though you just tried to kill me.  It doesn't bother me though.  I don't take it personally.  But you can't hurt me because I'm not really here.  I'm a holographic projection from the future, and can only communicate with you through these text boxes.  I've come here from the future so I can help you.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[Mr. Morden]

The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie (....in progress)

Episode 2: "Not Living Up to My Fatherly Duties"

[We pick up from last time.  Holographic Bushie stands before Blondie and Hog.]

Hog: What is this?  A hologram from the future?!?  You're just that little @$%^ who took away my favorite place for orgies by patrolling the property.

Yes sir, that is me.  I'm BushOklahoma.  Or should I say NasoOklahoma, since I voted for President Naso in the last election?  Or maybe I should go by NasoKenya?  Anyway, yes, I'm actually in the year 2035.  But with Rainbow Holographic Systems, I'm projecting myself back in time to you.  I appear in the form of a hologram that only you can see and hear, Hog.

Blondie: But I can see and hear you too.

That's a good dog.  Yes, J.J.  You can see me too.  Animals and children under five can see me too.  But Hog is the only adult who can see me.

Blondie: Please don't call me J.J.

Oh, but I'm just so happy to see you.  And back when you were a puppy too!  If I weren't a hologram, I'd be loving all over you.

Blondie: Can we move on?

Sure.  Anyway, I was tracking that tornado that hit you, posting about it in my group on NSAbook.

Blondie: NSAbook?

It's a popular social networking site in 2035.  It doesn't give you any privacy.  But I'm always careful not to share too much on the internet anyway, so it works for me.

Anyway, I was following the storm, and tracked you here.  That storm has transported you across great distances of time and space.  Several years have passed since that tornado has whisked you away.

Hog: What?  You're saying that *we're* in the future now too?  Get your story straight.  I thought you were in the future.

Well, yes, you've been transported into the future, but I'm farther in the future.  You see....

Blondie: Don't be ridiculous Bushie.  We haven't gone very far at all.  There's your mobile home just over that way.

[Blondie starts running over to the Bushie family mobile home.  Hog starts to walk briskly in the same direction.]

You're going to walk all the way over there?  That's practically in another time zone!

Hog: What are you talking about?  We'll be there in about two minutes.

That's too far for me.  What if it starts snowing on the way?  I can't risk it.

[A holographic golf cart appears, and Bushie gets into it, and starts making his way to the Bushie family house.  About five minutes later, Blondie and Hog are standing in front of the Bushie family estate, waiting for holo-Bushie to arrive.  He slowly pulls up in his golf cart, Big Mac in hand.]

Sorry.  Had to stop for something to eat.  No time to make a meal on my own.  Only McDonald's drive through available.

Blondie: There's a McDonald's drive through in the middle of your imaging chamber, or wherever it is you are in the future?

Never mind that.  Listen--

[Suddenly, a man emerged from the Bushie family home.]

RickRoll!  You've woken up.

RickRoll: Bushie, is that you?  Your hair's a bit grayer, and you're even fatter than I remember you, but it is you, isn't it?....But how did you know I was asleep?  I'd been wandering around after that tornado, found that tree over there (points), and fell asleep for a while.  Then I wake up, my beard's really long and I have some gray in my hair, so I find my way into this trailer park and found some rotting food in this home, but also a razor, so I shaved off the beard.  Then I come out here, and see you and your friend here with a talking dog?  What the smurf are you doing here?  It's kind of like that time in college when--

Look, this is my story.  You all can't keep interrupting me when--

Blondie: Wait a minute, how can he see you?  I thought Hog was the only adult human who could see you?  Are you telling us the whole truth?

(flustered) Well, Hog plus children under 5 plus animals plus people who went to college with me.  No, I'm not hiding the truth from you, it's just complicated.  Look, I'm telling the truth and I'm not a liar.  I haven't failed at hologramming.

Now come on, it seems like the Lord wants you here for a reason.  He's dropped off Hog and J.J. from the tornado, and put RickRoll to sleep only to wake up now.  You both came from roughly the same time in 2013, so He must have something special planned for you.

I have to tell you what's happened in the world since you departed.

It all started the week that I was in Kenya, when the US Supreme Court handed down their decision on gay marriage.  Justice Kennedy tried to draft a decision that was very narrowly tailored on states' rights, but because of a typographical error on page 185 of the decision, he ended up giving every state the right to decide on marriage issues except Oklahoma.  In Oklahoma, not only was gay marriage made legal, but every adult male was legally *required* to gay marry another adult male.  While most Oklahoman men were unhappy about participating in a sin, they had no choice, because the law's the law.  This led to--

[Bushie stops to take a bite out of his hamburger.]

Good grief, this is exhausting.  This is all the exposition I can take for now.  Look, there's an easier way for me to give you this information.  If you go in the new attachment to the trailer, you can find all my Dad's gizmos.  In this era, it's possible to just plug implants into your watches, and it'll transmit to you all the information you need.  You can find out all about Fredward and all of the terrible things that have happened since that tornado.

Blondie: Fredward?

Yeah, and sorry.  But it only works for people, not dogs.  Hog and RickRoll can plug themselves in, learn everything they need to know, and then fill in J.J. separately.  I'll stay out here and try to play fetch with J.J., even though I'm only a hologram.

Blondie: Kill me now.

[Hog and RickRoll made their way to the workshop in the Bushie home, found the implants for their watches that holo-Bushie had told them about, and plugged themselves in.  It all started flooding their minds: The Supreme Court ruling, as Bushie had explained, the fact that Oklahoman men were forced to gay marry, starting in 2013.

And then......the fertility treatments.  While the Christian men of Oklahoma deplored the fact that they had to marry each other, they knew they had to at least obey the Lord's commandment to be fruitful and multiply.  There still had to be subsequent generations of Oklahomans.  So they embraced a new, experimental fertility treatment that allowed men to become pregnant, to produce the offspring of two men.  The male/male married couples of Oklahoma began producing these offspring, but only within the participating fertility clinics (all fully paid for for those who had Ameriplan Insurance).

The first pregnant man was Frederick, who produced a child with his husband Edward.  They named their son Fredward.  Subsequently, other married couples began producing children who took on hybrid names of their parents, and on it went for some time.....

Hog and RickRoll snapped out of it, and immediately sang a song about what they had learned.  It went just like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNhXYmJ0G8c ]


TO BE CONTINUED....

[Mr. Morden]

It's nice he's buying them things and all, but again, he's making it about him and creating "daddy moments" more than anything.

"Proud to be a daddy" is what he says on his FB. 

Didn't he previously say he was going to stop calling himself their daddy because he'd accepted that he couldn't adopt them, at least without a wife?

[Mr. Morden]

He calls him their daddy because he sends them money, but obviously he has no source of income, so it's not his money. I assume it's his parents who are funding his fatherhood fetish?

Good point.  Are Papa and Mama Bushie the "real" daddy and mommy for these kids?

[Mr. Morden]

It's nice he's buying them things and all, but again, he's making it about him and creating "daddy moments" more than anything.

"Proud to be a daddy" is what he says on his FB. 

Didn't he previously say he was going to stop calling himself their daddy because he'd accepted that he couldn't adopt them, at least without a wife?

Yeah, like I said earlier, these poor kids are going to be so confused when they actually grow up and can think on their own as to why some white guy who sent them $30 a month is calling him their father.

Bushie needs to get to work finding a wife if he really loves these kids. It should be hit top priority when he gets home!

There is probably some different well meaning Yank every other week.

good point.  these kids probably have many daddies.

And perhaps many pairs of shoes.  Is this a 419 scam?

[Mr. Morden]

The Adventures of Hobo Orgy Guy and Blondie (....in progress)

Episode 3: "I Really Don't Think I Need Mental or Psychological Help"

[Holo-Bushie is outside the Bushie family mobile home, pretending to throw a stick that Blondie will fetch.  But obviously, he's just a hologram, so he can't throw a stick that Blondie could possibly catch.]

(in baby voice, just after making a throwing motion) Where did it go?  Where did the stick go?  Aren't you going to fetch it J.J.?

Blondie: I'm not going to play along with your stupid games.  Why don't you try filling me in on all the exposition that the other two are having dumped over their heads right now?

You don't want to fetch?  Besides, they can tell you all about the male/male hybrid babies when you're on your road trip.

Blondie: What road trip?  And male/male hybrid babies?  And earlier you talked about someone named Fredward?  Does this story have any female characters at all?  And what's with all the exposition?  Isn't this supposed to be about the adventures of Hog and me?

Please, don't break the fourth wall.

But look, we've got to keep playing out here, because you can't go inside.  You're not housebroken.  And besides, I'm just a hologram, so I can't open the door to let you in.  And in any case, there's no room inside.  We just don't have the space to keep a dog in there.

[Blondie growls at Bushie.]

OK, fine.  I'll just peek inside and see how they're doing.

[Bushie, in holographic form, walks through the wall of the mobile home, appearing inside just when Hog and RickRoll finish their Fredward song.]

RickRoll: Same old Bushie.  Walking in on people at inappropriate times.  Do you remember in college, when you walked in on Steve when he was frenching What's-Her-Name, and you thought she was pregnant?

I've moved past that.  Let's move on.  Why don't you try the next implant?  I know you've just covered the business with the male pregnancies, but we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.  Why don't you try this one, about the court proceedings about whether I should be ordered back to America after the Supreme Court ruling?  Once it was ruled that every unmarried man in Oklahoma had to be gay married, I decided to accelerate my plan to move to Kenya permanently.

RickRoll: You stayed in Kenya for asylum, so you wouldn't have to move back to Oklahoma to marry a man?

It was an issue, what to do with the Oklahoma men who were out of state, or out of the country.  Fortunately, I had good legal representation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czI2hfSas2Y

Hog: What was that?

Sorry.  Executive order from President Naso.  Every court scene must be preceded by the Night Court theme.

[We dissolve on a federal court room interior.  Inks.LWC is representing Bushie in this hearing, which is being held to determine whether the federal government should order that Bushie return to Oklahoma from Kenya, where he currently resides, and from which he is appearing by live video feed.]

Inks: Your honor, my client is being asked to appear in the state of Oklahoma for the purpose of being married off to another Oklahoma man.  I ask you, how can such a fate be inflicted on any man, to be forced to be married to my client, one of the most despicable human beings I have ever had the misfortune of looking upon?  Would that not be cruel and unusual punishment?

Judge: That's your argument?  That your client is such an awful person that we cannot force him upon any potential spouse?  I'm afraid that the Supreme Court ruling makes no character exemptions.

Inks: Your honor, I intend to produce numerous character witnesses who will testify to the exceptionally low character of my client.  His transgressions go beyond that of any human being the Supreme Court could have contemplated.

Judge: And yet you've also described numerous psychological ailments that you believe Mr. Bushie suffers from.  You believe that he is not actually responsible for his actions?

Inks: Legally, he bears no responsibility.  That is correct, your honor.  However, I still judge him on a personal level, and am so repulsed by his actions over these last few years, that I can only find satisfaction in berating him constantly for his sins, making him feel as guilty as possible.  Even though, yes, legally, he has no idea what he's doing.

Judge: This is quite an unusual legal defense.  Mr. Bushie, Mr. Inks was assigned to defend you, because you could not afford your own attorney.  However, given the circumstances, are you sure you don't want a replacement?

BushOK: (on video monitor) Not at all, your honour.  I know Inks only says these awful things because he cares.  He wants to get me to change, though I think he's going about it the wrong way.  Can we move on?  I'm done with this topic.

Can we talk about how I called you "Your honour", because they use British spellings here in Kenya, and I'm a Kenyan now?

Judge: Yes, I'm aware of this novel attempt to prove that you've been planning a move to Kenya for some time now by using British spellings in your sworn statement.  I noticed the "honour", "colour", and "behaviour".  I even noticed the questionable placements of "U"s in some cases.  Mr. Bushie, I don't think they spell "orange" "o-u-r-a-n-g-e" in Kenya.

BushOK: Well, I'm trying.  I just want to fit in here in Kenya, and show my Kenyan patriotism.  I want to learn more about the sports here...like football, which you Americans call soccer.  I'm really getting into sports, and will watch the cricket team play for hours on end for several days in a row.  Which I think is the playing time for a single game.

I'm sure President Uhuru Kenyatta, his deputy William Ruto, and everyone else in the government here would be impressed by my deep knowledge of my homeland here.  Just like I'm sure your American President, who, if you didn't know, is of Kenyan ancestry himself, is proud of Kenyan immigrants to America, like Barack Obama Sr.  I'm reading everything I can here about Kenya, on sources like CNN International.  And occasionally going outside to talk to people about life here.

Inks: Your honor, I believe if we demonstrate that my client had been planning to move to Kenya long before this Supreme Court ruling was made, that would argue against his classification as a resident of Oklahoma at the time of the ruling, thus nullifying the applicability of the marriage order to him.  In addition to the contemporaneous written statements made by him on the "Atlas" forum, I believe a desire to flee the country for good is the only logical implication of his horrible treatment of everyone around him within the United States.  He was clearly trying to burn all his bridges in this country before leaving it forever.

BushOK: Inks, I know you're my lawyer, and you've been a very good lawyer.  I support you 100%.  But why do you have to say such hurtful things?

Inks: (his voice rising) Bushie, why did you keep lying to us on Update?  Why didn't you move back to your own house when you left Utah, rather than leech off your parents?  Why didn't you look for a job?  Why didn't you walk the dog, or mow the lawn?  WHY DIDN'T YOU THROW OUT THE ROTTEN FRUIT?  You wanted to take advantage of everyone in the United States before moving on to Kenya, didn't you?

BushOK: Wow, just....wow.  Inks, there is no reason to try to catch me in every little thing I did wrong.  I made mistakes, I know that.  I have no excuse for that.  Seriously, why can't I tell my story without being grilled like this?  I know you're my lawyer, and you care about me, and you're just trying to help me, but this behavior is really uncalled for.

....I mean...I'm sorry, but can the court reporter make a note that in saying "this behavior is really uncalled for", I was pronouncing "behavior" as "behaviour" and "for" as "four"?


TO BE CONTINUED....

[Mr. Morden]

This is the orphanage, isn't it?

http://www.maishainternational.org

Has anyone done any internet detective work on them?

And I'm still confused about Bushie's orphans.  They don't actually live in the orphanage.  They live with the grandmother, right?  How does this work?  When Bushie is taking his kids shoe shopping, does the grandmother come along?  What's the relationship between Bushie, the grandmother, and the kids?  After his first return from Kenya, Bushie made it sound like the grandmother probably wouldn't live long anyway, since she's old, and this is why he was cool with the idea of adopting them?  (I might have the details on that wrong.)

[Mr. Morden]

But yeah, it sounds bad if the kids don't have shoes after bushie has been sending them $70 a month for almost a year now.

Maybe they've just worn through their last pair.  Who knows how long Kenyan shoes last!

[Mr. Morden]

My grandmother gives me the $70 a month to take care of them.

So your grandmother is their true "mother"?  Meaning that your "son" and "daughter" are actually your "uncle" and "aunt"?

[Mr. Morden]

Folks, I have just been in deep prayer and convicted by my God of not living up to my fatherly duties as the spiritual head of the household though we are 8,500 miles apart.  I have also been convicted of not being focused on God's Kingdom, rather trying to build Jeff's kingdom.  I need to spend more time with my God praying daily for my children.  I am also going to start tapering my use of the forum.  I'm going to try eventually break away from the forum entirely.  The Update will be the first to slow down. Then the rest of the forum will taper.

I suggest spamming the forum with hardcore pornography, so you'll be banned.