The Planet Corporation

[The Duke]

Midgard Wire Service

BANDA ACEH-- An 8.7 magnitude earthquake has struck western Indonesia, the epicenter is located near the spot where a 9.0 quake originated in December that left killed or missing 270,000 people throughout the Indian Ocean.  No tsunamis have been a problem yet, though damage in Indonesia is extensive.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, March 31, 2005

US-French Relations To Take Turn For Worse?[/size]
US Could Place Sanctions On NATO Ally

By Jimmy Olsen[/b]

PARIS-- The Atlasian State Department has floated publicly the idea of placing economic and military sanctions on France, citing their exploitation of colonial Africa and inadequate protections of religious freedom.  The news comes on the heels of three of the worst years in the history of Franco-Atlasia Relations.

A bitter dispute over war in Iraq in 2002-03 followed by battles over steel tariffs and the GE-Honeywell merger (wich was blocked by the EU) have caused a rift between the traditional allies that at times seems unmendable.  It is not likely that the idea of sanctions will ease that tension.  A possible chance to heal relations appeared to open ove the Lebanon issue, but that civil conflict has turned out not to be nearly enough to heal the old wounds.

The French response to Secretary of State Siege40's proposal has been indignant to say the least.  Siege's counterpart, French Foreign Minister Dominic de Villepin, commented that "In Iraq, you had a simple disagreement between nations.  Today, you have, what can only be described, as a rogue government in Nyman.  It is embarrassing to see the once great nation of Atlasia fall so low and become so petty."

In related news, the people of Corsica have recently been buying up an unusual amount of American flags.

[The Duke]

Midgard Wire Service

NEW YORK-- Federal Reserve Expected to raise interest rates by a quarter point at next meeting on inflation worries driven by higher fuel prices.  Rate hike would still leave rates at very low levels by historic standards.

NEW YORK-- Final GDP, inflation, and unemployment figures for March to be released on Monday, April 4th.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 1, 2005

Federal Government Becoming More Organized[/size]
Budget, Centralized Thread Bills near passage

By Clark Kent[/b]

NYMAN-- The Senate is on the verge of passing two bills that will certainly improve public confidence in government.

The Federal Budget appears to have the support needed to pass the Senate.  The Federal budget deficit will stand at over $500 billion, a worry to some investors.  But the fact that a budget exists is a welcome sight to most economic analysts.

Also, the Government Thread Act, which creates a Government Board HQ thread, also appears passage ready.  THis thread will make for easy location of cabinet and WHite House threads, much like the Legislation Intoduction Thread made managing the Senate much easier.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 4, 2005

Economy Sluggish[/size]
Inflation Fears Predominate

By Lois Lane[/b]

NEW YORK-- The national economy grew at a meager 1.4% pace this month, slightly lower than last month's growth of 1.7%.  Still shaken by the severe damage done to Atlasian trade relations and the continuing rise of oil prices, the greatest worry for Atlasia is that the troubles that plague the national economy often seem beyond the government's control.  The low growth rate means that government revenue is going to come in lower than expected, and by some estimates it could fall below $2 trillion.

Inflation, also driven by crude prices, hit 2.3% this month, the first time in the decade that it has been this high.  It is still well below the postwar average of 4.5%.  The Fed raised interest rates 1/4 point at their latest meeting to head off inflation.  Interest rates are also very low by historical standards, but the trend is still disturbing.

Unemployment stayed at 5.8%.  The DOW closed last week at 10,100.

Syria Pledges Pullout Before Elections[/size]
Opposition Has Advatnage

By Jimmy Olsen[/b]

BEIRUT-- Syria has promised a full pullout to UN envoys by month's end, despite public rhetoric that takes a tougher tone than that.  The plan would have all Syrian militar and intelligence forces out before the May elections.

THis plan still has skeptics, who wonder how serious Syria is after their public relations battle with the US, and who note that Hezbollah will remain to destabilize the country.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 4, 2005

Atlasian Economy Needs Oiling
Editorial

By Anonymous[/b]

With world oil prices at fifty dollars a barrel, their highest since the 1970s, the Atlasian economy looks strained and little action seems to be taking by the current administration. Oil, is the lubricant of the industrial world (pardon the pun) and a rise in the price of oil can have serious knock-on effects elsewhere in an economy both directly to the consumer and indirectly through producers.

There are two types of inflation, demand-pull inflation and cost-push inflation. The former is caused by shocks to aggregate demand, for instance a huge increase in aggregate demand shifts the aggregate demand curve up the long run aggregate supply curve (Classical model) which does not increase output, but does increase prices. The second type of inflation, cost-push inflation is caused by shocks to aggregate supply, for example a rise in the costs of production meaning businesses are forced to pay more to produce goods, a cost generally passed off on the consumer.

As I have already stated, oil is the lubricant of the industrial world, it is required in the production of many goods such as plastics and even if not required directly for the production of a good, it is still required in the distribution process as goods are moved by freight across the nation. Considering this fact, it is clearly evident that a rise in the cost of oil will lead to a rise in the cost of production, which somebody must pay. The people who will ultimately pay this cost are the consumers, meaning that businesses will be forced to increase the overall level of prices, the term for which is inflation.

Having looked at the supply-side effects of rising oil prices, let us now consider the effects on the demand-side. As prices continue to rise, it seems likely that the observant consumers will see the pattern and seek to purchase as much oil as they can as soon as possible to protect against future uncertainty, yet such an act is likely to create more problems by invoking demand-pull inflation where the overall level of demand rises without the supply also doing so.

With unemployment at 5.8%, the government must decide on a trade-off. The options the Phillips Curve gives to a policymaker able to influence aggregate demand through monetary or fiscal policies lead to a conflict between unemployment and inflation. The policymaker can either inflate aggregate demand, decreasing unemployment at the expense of inflation or depress aggregate demand leading to lower inflation, but higher unemployment.

The slow rate of growth of the Atlasian economy is also a cause for concern. With real GDP growth at a mere 1.4%, its lowest since the fourth quarter of 2002, the economy appears to be in a downward trend from its peak in the third quarter of 2003. These startling figures suggest the potential for a recession of the Atlasian economy which could have major impacts on the rest of the world in these times of globalization.

With little response from policymakers in the treasury department and a potential economic battle with the French, global economic instability seems the future of the world unless some sort of action can be taken to prevent it by what so far seems to be a weak and unresponsive administration.

Anonymous is a write, employed by this newspaper, who does not wish their identity revealed

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 8, 2005

Mideast to vote on Intelligent Design[/size]
Petition Secures Spot on Ballot For Controversial Initiative

By Clark Kent[/b]

COLLEGE PARK-- Akno21's petition to get an initiative on the Mideast ballot that would ban intelligent design from school curriculums in that Region has secured the required 7 votes to become a ballot initative.  The petition was somewhat unexpected, and reignites the heated debate over creationism in schools.

[The Duke]

Midgard Wire Service

NYMAN-- With the passage of the Omnibus Crime Bill, criminal activity is now illegal in Atlasia.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 14, 2005

Hughento Resigns![/size]
"Stubborn Aussie" Frustrated by New Atlasian Politics

By Clark Kent[/b]

NYMAN-- Senator of D5, Hughento, has resigned.  In an emotional speech from the Senate floor, he explained his reasons:

"The minutiae and boring orderlyness of the senate is really really crap. I can't emphasise that enough... If you ask the people who voted in the first eklection if Atlasia is more fun now then back then, the answer will be no from the majority... I'm a stubborn Aussie so despite Colin (Wixted's)'s best efforts to change my mind, I just can't like the new way of doing business in Atlasia."

Complaints about complex new changes in Atlasia from budgets, to Forum Affairs law, to Atlasian intervention in the real world, have drawn complaints from many, but no one seems able to reconcile the public's constant demands for more government action with the public's constant demands for a simpler government.

In accordance with the Constitution, a special election will be held on the weekend of April 22-24.  No candidates have announced.  One person who was named as a possible replacement is John Ford, but he quickly declined to run.  He was a candidate for an interim Senate seat once before, but not this time.  The two most obvious names after Ford's are Lt. Governor Immy and film maker King.

[The Duke]

*AD*

[/size]

To all candidates in the upcoming elections, whether it be for Senate or Governor or otherwise.  You are invited to submit an editorial article laying out your case to the voters of Atlasia as to why they should entrust you with the honor of elected office.

All candidates welcome, guarantee of publication for any declared candidates!

[The Duke]

Midgard Wire Service

MEMPHIS-- Southeast Governor's race tied between StatesRights and Wiseguy at 5-5.

[The Duke]

Daily Planet, April 19, 2005

Tie in the South![/size]
Runoffs Becoming a Habit in Dixie

By Clark Kent[/b]

MEMPHIS-- In what has become a habit, some would say a product of the approval voting system, the Southeast Governor's race has ended in a tie between Lt. Governor States Rights and outsider Wiseguy.  The current Governor, Harry, was soundly defeated after his Governorship was dominated by inactivity.  No movement has been made on the budget issue, and the Governor has admittedly been a bit absent.

A series of initiatives also passed, including provisions allowing the Governor to designate historic landmarks, another establishing several landmarks, another honoring the military heritage sites of the region, a concealed weapons law, a moratorium on the death penalty, and an initative protecting the unborn victims of violence.  Another initiative banning Ru-486 in the region may or may not have passed, as at least one vote is in dispute as is the tally of votes at this early stage.  Magistrate Jake is expected to rule on the matter by tommorrow.

[The Duke]

Special Edition

April 21, 2005

President Resigns![/size]
True Democrat Steps Aside

By Clark Kent[/b]

True Democrat became President by accident.  He never wanted the job; he was the #2 man on a ticket that was supposed to go nowhere fast.  When they won a surprise upset over KEmperor/Alcon, Lewis Trondheim's surprising resignation left the relative unknown in the most powerful position on Earth.  His time in office was undistinguished, but also unmarred.  He signed some bills, vetoed none.  He was neither the titan that Nym90 and JFK were, but he was also not the disappointment that PBrunsel and Gustaf were seen as.  He allowed the Senate to become more powerful than it had ever been, and they turned out to be no worse or better than our Presidents have been.

The President was universally bid adeu with warm sentiments, having made few enemies in his minimalist administration.

Alcon Now President[/size]
VP Ascends to Highest Office in the Land

By Jimmy Olsen[/b]

Vice President Alcon assumed the office of President of Atlasia yesterday.  His predecessor, True Democrat, shocked the country and the world by resigning, and has thrust Alcon into office as the Union Party's first President.

Alcon is best known for his role as Kemp's running mate in the February elections and as TrueDem's Vice President.  However, he carved out his place on the Forum by helping expose the GirlGoneWild scandal, which helped destroy the Democratic Party and end Flyers' political career.  Alcon is our second un-elected President, JFK being the first.

Peter Bell Chosen As VP[/size]
Gov. Bell Hopes to Rejuvinate Languishing Office

By Lois Lane[/b]

Harry Nelson, Chris Supersoulty, Al Realpolitik, a long list of otherwise noteworthy citizens who had no luck governing from the bridesmaid's chair.  Harry left the office to run for Senate.  Supersoulty left Atlasian politics completely for a period he was so frustrated.  Al… what exactly did Al do as VP again?  So far, only one Vice President has made any impact, when John Kennedy left office briefly on a leave of absence and Vice President Andrew Berger appointed King and DemRepDan to the Supreme Court.

Now, Peter Bell, the man who led the charge to organize Atlasia's once incomprehensible Forum Affairs laws and rewrite our once muddled Constitution, assumes the office.  Everywhere he goes, things happen.  His time as Attorney General and Governor of the Mideast were eventful.  But, all those before him had eventful careers both before and after assuming the office of Vice President.

The big question is yet to be answered: What is the role of the Vice President anyway?

Governor Bell's choice has received universal praise thus far, and rightly so (With the exception of Mike Naso, who characteristically used the occaision to make a fool of himself).  But it’s the road still ahead that may frustrate yet another Vice President.

Constitution Passes Convention[/size]
Vote Unanimous

By Ron Troupe[/b]

The Constitution passed the Constitutional Convention yesterday in a 15-0 vote with two abstentions.  The hard work of prominent legal scholars like Peter Bell, KEmperor, and Ernest paid off, as the new document hopes to fix many of the perceived problems in the original Constitution.

The Constitution now goes to the regions for ratification.  All regions are expected to ratify, and only in the Northeast has there been even a hint of dissent.

The only controversy seems to be the absence of a general welfare clause.  Such a clause became a prime topic of debate after the Supreme Court ruled in Bono v. Atlasia that the powers of the Federal Government were limited such that the Unwed Teenage Mothers Protection Bill.  In a 2-1 decision, the Court ruled that only spending, which was specifically empowered by the Constitution was allowed.  The two libertarian minded jurists, Chief Justice KEmp and Justice Dibble, were in the majority.  The one liberal member, Justice Texasgurl, was the dissenter.

The Powers section of the new Constitution provides for a more expansive definition of what the Senate has power to appropriate money for, but not the wide-open clause that more populist and liberal advocates wanted.  Such a clause was decided too vague and open ended for the Convention to accept.

Most see this Constitution as being more flexible, more coherent, and more inclined to empower the central government than the last one.

[The Duke]

Good Morning Atlasia

[/size]

Happy Morning Music Plays, Probably Some Stupid Pop Song

Angela Chen is on screen, sitting in an arm chair surrounded by houseplants.  Behind her is a glass wall where we can see bystanders waving stupidly to the camera)

Angela Chen: Welcome to Good Morning Atlasia, the show where people are able to smile at unnaturally early hours.  We begin in Lebanon, where the Syrian Army is wrapping up its final withdrawal from that country.  However, as our Foreign Affairs correspondent Jimmy Olsen reports, things may not be what they appear.

Cut to video:

Images of Syrian APC pulling out of an urban center, people cheering the departure.  Jimmy Olsen's voice narrates.

Jimmy Olsen: As Syria's army begins its nominal pullout, concern in the region grows that Bashar NixonNow is playing a shell game.

(Cut to Jimmy, standing stridently on a cliff overlooking the Lebanese coast)

Jimmy Olsen: Some, including Israeli and American intelligence sources, that Syria will maintain a strong covert presence here, in the form of undercover agents.  Also, the presence of allied Hezbollah militias who oppose the popular demand for Syrian withdrawal will remain.

The Syrian presence under such a scenario will be diminished, a great victory for the US and for the Lebanese opposition groups.  But the presence will remain, as the government in Damascus looks increasingly out of step with the political trends in the region, to steal a phrase from William F. Buckley; they're standing athwart history yelling "Stop!"  Angela.

Angela Chen: Thanks for that report Jimmy.  Some news agencies have forgotten all about the Middle East, but not PBC.  We now welcome a guest from the staff of the Daily Planet, the always controversial investigative reporter Ron Troupe.  Welcome Ron.

Ron Troupe: Yes, it's nice to be here.  Is there anyone on hand who can Irish up my coffee?

Angela Chen: (Laughs) You're a kick Ron.

Ron Troupe: I'm quite serious.  We always had plenty of liquor on hand when this place was still owned by the Chronicle.

Angela Chen: (Nervous Laughter, Awkward Silence) Well, its good to have you here.  We understand you have been working the back channels to learn more about what the shape of the Presidential race will be.  Could you tell us some of the juicier bits?

Ron Troupe: I'm afraid that I'm sworn to secrecy on many of the most interesting parts, but I can enlighten you all on some of the more general aspects.  As you will all learn when you read The Planet this morning, a Supreme Court Justice is considering a run. He will likely announce shortly after the midterms.

Angela Chen: Is it the same Justice who ran last time by any chance?

Ron Troupe: If it was I couldn't tell you, could I?  And if it wasn't, I still couldn't tell you it wasn't him, because by process of elimination, you'd eventually figure it out, just ask me about all three judges and when I say no to two and can't say for the other, you've learned the secret.  But a Justice is considering a run.  The Freedom Party will run a candidate of its own this time, last time they endorsed with varying degrees of enthusiasm, the independent candidate KEmperor.  They've chosen behind the scenes both a Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate, though neither has been revealed.  The Chairman of the Party alluded to this process at the recent Freedom Party event that was held essentially to promote Cosmo Kramer for Senate when he thanked Governor Wildcard.

From off camera, someone hands Ron a flask.  He pours the contents into his coffee mug.

Angela Chen: Any news from the other parties?

Ron Troupe: No official news, though I am going to be inquiring later this afternoon, making some calls to well placed individuals.  I can tell you from talking to a few friends that I think the ACA will run a candidate.  I think there will be at least one liberal candidate, either from the Farmer Labor Party or a candidate who runs with the backing of the Progressive Caucus.

No one has any idea whether the President intends to seek re-election, including the President it seems.

Angela Chen: Thank you for that insider info, Ron Troupe, writer of The Beltway Beat.

Ron Troupe: I beat the beltway like I beat my first wife.

Angela Chen: Please cut to commercial.

Ron Troupe: By the way, you're a very attractive girl and you look like you could use a good…

Cut to test pattern.

[The Duke]

April 22, 2005

The Beltway Beat[/size]
Supreme Court Justice Could Run and Kirsten Dunst is Ugly

By Ron Troupe[/b]

HOLLYWOOD-- Sorry to my regular readers who used to enjoy my nationally syndicated column on the latest gossip from Hollywood to Nyman.  I was just let out of the Betty Ford Center where I've been in rehab for some things we won't discuss, unless of course you want to discuss snorting cocaine off the back of a chimpanzee.  Well, the President resigned, and my boss John Ford, who shall henceforth be known as El Cheapo, didn't have enough writers on staff to cover the whole story.  So he pulled me out of rehab early to write about that crap.  I sped over here to my pad in the Hollywood Hills, and we won't discuss how I paid for it unless you want to discuss my years as a man-whore, and filed an uncharacteristically professional piece.

So anyway.  I was at The Louis Vitton United Cancer Front Gala charity event last night after filing my piece, and there's Kirsten Dunst.  She is at an event for lung cancer and she's smoking a cigarette.  What an ass.  While I've been an advocate of smoking for years now, a lung cancer event is not the proper forum.  I think she may have picked that outfit because she lost a bet with Kate Bosworth and it was Kirsten who had to dress like a homeless person.  Kate Bosworth would have made it look sexy, though.

Anyway, here I am watching these two, and my cell phone rings.  I answer and it's a law clerk who's working for a Supreme Court Justice.  He's a drinking buddy of mine, and he calls to let me know that his boss is thinking about running for President.  My friend says he's 99% sure that this Supreme Court Justice will run.  So look out for that.  I know the name, but I'm sworn to secrecy.  If you want to find out which Judge it is, just find the judge whose law clerk could snort up the cocaine mountain in the movie "Scarface".  This fellow is really a barrel of fun.

[The Duke]

April 26, 2005

South Rises Again?[/size]
Nullification Touches Off Near-Crisis Situation

By Clark Kent[/b]

MEMPHIS-- Governor StatesRights of the Southeast Region nullified the Marriage Equity Act yesterday morning, and the Region's Magistrate Jake subsequently ordered a cessation of issuing marriage licenses to gay couples.  Immediately, question's as to the constitutionality of the order were raised.  Most legal experts believe that governors of regions do not have the power to nullify federal law by decree.

The Supreme Court is set to rule on the case soon.  Most observers expect a 3-0 ruling that strikes down the Governor's decree.  All of this would be a minor legal story, a below the fold event.  But what followed next sparked a controversy that may be hard to contain.  Senator Colin Wixted (U-PA), a key writer of the new Constitution, called the Governor's actions "illegal and treasonous".  Senator-Elect Cosmo Kramer (F-AR) said he sees "a second Civil War coming".  A series of heated speeches and public pleas by Senators and members of the executive publicized the issue.  Pleas to send federal troops to enforce the Marriage Equity Act (a la Eisenhower) have come forth.  The Governor has pledged to defend the Southeast with force if necessary.

It should be noted that the Regional National Guards can be called into Federal service at any time, and the Regions therefore have no truly independent military arm.  It was the National Guard that Eisenhower deployed to integrate Arkansas schools.  This begs the question: Governor, you and what army?

Now, we await the Supreme Court ruling.  And after that, we await the Governor's reaction to what seems an imminent judicial defeat.  What he does when put in that position will go a long way towards determining his place in history, and a long way towards determining the history of this nation.

[The Duke]

(Theme Music Plays)

Narrator: This is PBC Nightly News.  Live from New York City, your anchor, Perry White.

PW: Hello, I'm Perry White and this is PBC Nightly News.  Tonight, we have three major stories to cover.  Up first is the crisis created by the Southeastern nullification of the Marriage Equity Act.

Southeast Governor StatesRights and Southeast Magistrate Jake continue to stand firm that they have the power to nullify Federal law, and they have ended the issuance of marriage licenses to gay couples.

(Cut to man-in-the-street interview with a very gay looking man standing in front of a courthouse)

Gay: I'm so mad right now, its just not right for the Governor to deny me my right to hold a bridal shower.

(Cut back to Perry)

PW: The escalating tension between the Regional and Federal Government is what most concerns observers, including those on Wall Street, where the DOW tumbled 507 points today to 9,802.  This is the first fall below the 10,000 mark in some time.  Equity markets are built on stability and confidence, and there is a shortage of both right now.

Our second story is the appointment of a second moderator for the Fantasy Boards.  For those who rarely visit the government board, it may come a s a surprise that a second moderator could be appointed, but since Gustaf has been too busy with other things to be actively moderating, a second mod may be hired.  The front runner joins us now, our very own CEO, John Ford.

JF: Thank you for having me.

PW: I understand you want mod powers mostly so you can clean up the GM thread and clear out old comments.

JF: So messy, so so messy.

PW: Yes, the thread has gotten a bit messy.

JF: So messy, so so messy.

PW: Yes, well, we got that part.  Anything else?

JF: So messy, so so messy.

PW: Well, that certainly inspires confidence in the future of this company, our CEO is reduced to a blithering fool.  Thanks for joining us.

JF: So messy, so… (Satellite cuts out)

PW: Our final story tonight is an investigative piece from Lois Lane, our Chief Financial Correspondent.  With the Senate looking to pare back spending to reduce the budget deficit, the Education and Care for Children in Poverty Act faces repeal.  Nearly $20 billion a year has been allocated to subsidize day care for poor children under this act, but some now think that the cost does not justify the benefits.

(Cut to a day care center in Buffalo, NY, happy children are all about)

LL in voiceover: A year ago, these children could not have attended this day care center.  Thanks to the Education And Children In Poverty Act, they can.  I spoke to the teacher at this center, Miss Randy Rousseau.

(Cut to interview in classroom with the Rousseau)

Rousseau: The importance of giving children a nurturing environment where they are safe and can learn while parents are at work cannot be overstated.  Now, this is available to every child.

LL: Why is daycare better than other alternatives?

Rousseau: Leaving children sitting at home watching television all day or leaving a small child unsupervised is dangerous.  Physically, harm can come to unsupervised children, and it retards their emotional and intellectual and social development.  Wealthier parents are able to give so many advantages to their children that poor children didn't have until now.

(Cut to hallway at Office of Management and Budget (OMB), a bald man with a beard is walking down the hallway)

LL in voiceover: But not everyone is so enthusiastic about the program's impact.  Tom Hobbes is an economist at OMB, which manages the details of the Federal budget.

(Cut to interview with Hobbes)

LL: Whats the main problem you have with spending money on day care.

Hobbes: Aside from any philosophical objections I might have, we now have a budget amendment that requires that we cut the deficit.  We have to cut spending to get the deficit down to 2% of GDP, as is required.  Something has to be cut, and I can't name many programs that I think are less essential to the mission of government than this.

LL: What about those who say that day care and pre-school and these things are critical to educating children?

Hobbes: A lot of things are critical to educating children.  I'd like to give free everything to everyone, but I'm also a good enough economist to know that I can't give everyone everything.  I can't always get what I want.  The science of economics is to distribute scarce resources to meet infinite demands.  We can't let ourselves get pulled into this trap where if we don't fund absolutely every little program, then we must be bad people.

LL: What about raising taxes to cut the deficit?

Hobbes: I have no problem with that.  I think the Senate is going to find that they can't close a gap this large simply by cutting spending.  If they are serious about enforcing the Budget Amendment, they will have no choice but to raise some taxes.  But the first priority should be to cut spending, and only raise taxes when you have to.

(Cut back to day care center)

LL in voiceover: It hard to try and make these children or their parents to see things Mr. Hobbes' way.  They're too close to the situation to be so clinical.  Right now, they can't help but wait on the Senate, and hope for the best.

(Cut to Rousseau)

Rousseau: I don't think the trap we need to stay away from is one of trying to give everyone everything.  The trap we face is where we're suckered into defining down what a need is.

(Cut back to NY, Perry and Lois at the anchor desk)

PW: The Senate faces some difficult choices.

LL: There seems no easy answer to some of these problems.  Any time we face a question like this, things get a little hairy.

PW: Thank you for that very insightful report.  That's all for tonight's PBC News, thank you all for tuning in, and goodnight.

[The Duke]

Sunday Morning
Sunday, May 1, 2005

Perry White sitting at a table, across from him is our guest, former President True Democrat.  Think the Meet the Press TV set.

Perry White: Welcome to "Sunday Morning", I'm Perry White.  Our guest this Sunday morning is Former President True Democrat.  Welcome.

True Democrat: Thank you for having me.

PW: When you initially became President, had it been your intention to serve a full term?

TD: First of all, I would like to state that it was not my intention to become President.  I thought I was going to be Vice-President, a much less demanding job.  When Lewis pulled out to try to give Al the election, I didn't know what to do.  I guess I wanted to try being President because I thought I had good ideas.  As for serving a full term, it was my intention when I first took the office.

PW: What were the reasons for your resignation?

TD: First of all, I have compared being a Senator and a President, and I liked being a Senator a lot more.  I enjoy writing legislation instead of signing it.  I still would have served out my full term even with this reason.  My primary reason for resigning was my lack of activity.  I was very busy with school and extracurriculur activities, so I really didn't have that much time to serve the Atlasian people.  I missed signing an important bill (Crime Bill).  After this event, I knew I was too busy to be a good President.  I didn't want the Atlasian people to suffer.  I hope to become more active during the summer.

PW: How would you like to be remembered?

TD: I don't want to be remembered.  I want people to see me as an active participant, at least in the future.  I'm not retiring or leaving.  I see myself as taking a little leave of absence and coming back to be active in the future.  As for President, I want to be remembered as a President who signed some important legislation and tried to unite the Atlasian people after a very divided election.

PW: How do you think you will be remembered?

TD: I think I will be remembered as an inactive President.  I would hope I am not looked upon too unfavorably.

PW: What regrets do you have about your time in office?

TD: My regrets are being too inactive and not speaking to the Atlasian people enough.  I didn't make any State of the Forum addresses, which I think was a big mistake.  I should have addressed the people about all the issues and bills being resolved so the people could have more input.

PW: What are you most proud of from your time in office?

TD: I'm most proud of all the bills that were passed.  The Crime Bill, budget and other important piece of legislation were passed with support from much of the Senate.  I was very proud of the unity my government possessed.

PW: What are your plans for the future?

TD: My plans for the future are to become more active in Fantasy politics.  I just moved to Montana, so I plan on running for Senate in the Pacific regional election (hopefully Montana won't trade with New Mexico and go into the Midwest).

PW: Are you satisfied in the person who will succeed you as President?

TD: I am very satisfied with Alcon.  I think he will make a great President.  I looked upon him very unfavorably during the election because his place of KEmperor's ticket.  Towards the end of the campaign, I realized he was a really good guy and would make an excellent Vice-President, and President it turned out.  Alcon is excellent at compromising with the right, and he is not extreme in his views.

PW: What are your thoughts on the political future of the left in Atlasia?

TD: I think the left needs to separate itself from the former Democratic party and its corruption.  Also, the left needs to look more sincere.  With people like Akno21 and Lewis Trondheim on the left, I think we cannot present ourselves as helping the Atlasian people.  The term "crazy liberal" does apply to many members of the Atlasian left.  We cannot always have our way.  We must learn to compromise with the center and right in order to make Atlasia a better place.  The center and right have good ideas too.  Not all of our ideas are the best ones.  The Atlasian left needs to think we are the not the rightful owners of Atlasian politics.

PW:  Mr. President, thank you for joining us.  And thank you to the viewers as well for joining us, I'm Perry White, and enjoy the rest of your "Sunday Morning".

[The Duke]

May 1, 2005

Supreme Court Rules For Atlasia[/size]
Ball In South's Court, So To Speak

By Dick Armstrong[/b]

In a unanimous and expected verdict, the Supreme Court of Atlasia ruled in favor of the Federal Government in Atlasia v. StatesRights.  Writing for the majority, Chief Justice KEmperor states: "… does the Governor of a region have the power to nullify a federal law, if he believes it to be in violation of the Constitution?  We find the answer to be unequivocally no."

The doctrine of nullification, Magistrate Jake's order to end the issuance of marriage licenses, and StatesRights challenge of the Senate's authority to define marriage were all unanimously struck down. Sections of the New Constitution explicitly contradicted the case made by the respondents' (Governor StatesRights and Magistrate Jake) legal counsel Bono.

The ball is now in StatesRights' court, so to speak.  Will he stand down peacefully, or propel the nation into Civil War?

In recent polls conducted by the Daily Planet, nearly 80% of Atlasians would support the Union if a Civil War were to come.

The Beltway Beat[/size]
Its Better This Way

By Ron Troupe[/b]

It's really better this way.  Just let Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have at each other.  It was meant to be; they're the world's two sexiest people.  Jennifer Aniston, get over your loss.  In fact, I'd like to help you get over your loss, so come on over to my place anytime.  There's a bong with your name on it girl.

Here's the one thing that always bothered me.  Angelina left Billy Bob Thornton not because he cheated on her, but because he hid his infidelity.  She's said this over and over again in interviews that Billy Bob could have stayed with her if he'd only been honest about his behavior.  Isn't it great to live in a world where:

A.   A man like Billy Bob Thornton can marry Angelina Jolie.
B.   Could get away with publicly cheating on her, as long as he was always honest about it.

God bless America.  As big a fan as I am of Kate Bosworth (And I trust that she'll have that restraining order lifted someday.  How the hell was I supposed to know she wouldn't like the crack I sent her for Valentine's Day?) I'd imagine sex with her would not be so great.  I know from experience that it’s a real turn off when women say things like "You ruined my hair." "Don't put that there." and "Ewww gross."  I think Kate would be the kind of girl who'd say that sort of thing to me.  Not Angelina.  She'd probably just go with it.  The perfect woman.

Nice going, Brad.  You're the man.

Many readers have written that I spilled the beans on the Dibble candidacy for President.  Not true.  I know, it makes sense that a Libertarian would employ a cokehead as a law clerk, but I was actually talking about a different Justice.  Still sworn to secrecy.  Another rumor.  Again, no names.  I hear that if it comes to Civil War, a military name from our past could return to lead the Union Army.

[The Duke]

May 2, 2005

War Averted![/size]
Governor Backs Down Under Increasing Pressure

By Clark Kent[/b]

As militias popped up around the nation, prominent citizens were being taken prisoner, and habeas corpus was suspended in the Southeast, it seemed inevitable only this morning that the nation was increasingly headed for Civil War.

But now a sudden announcement from the President just before the Planet went to press declares that there will be no war and that Governor StatesRights has backed down.  Details are elusive right now.  We do not know the terms under which this conflict ended, or in what manner.  We do not know the fate of the Confederate leaders.  We do not know what the lasting impact will be the for the Southeast Region.

What we do know is this.  The scare in Atlasia has caused massive damage.  Private armies have been raised.  The stock market has crashed, and the DOW now stands at only 7,004, having sufferred its greatest percentage loss in a four day trading period (Tuesday Apr. 26-Wednesday Apr. 29) ever.  In the first four days of the '29 crash, the market lost 20% of its value.  In the last four days of last week, the market lost over 30% of its value.  Monday trading could bring some of that back, but it might also continue the slide as the world looks to pull capital out of The Republic.

Politically and culturally, the damage could be even worse, and more lasting.  The old divisions of south against north dating back to the 1860s have been reopened, and many southerners now see their region as their first loyalty, not their nation.

A tall order awaits the nation's leaders.  Their task may be complicated by the dearth of Southerners among them.  The President is from Washington, the Vice President from Indiana.  There are no southerners in the cabinet once Cosmo Kramer goes to the Senate next week, exempting Siege40 who is originally from Maine.  When the sun rises tommorrow, Atlasia hopes it will bring light to the Forum.

Atlasia In Recession[/size]
Economy Worst In 23 Years

By Lois Lane[/b]

NEW YORK CITY-- Atlasian economy shrinks markedly in April, mostly due to the tension that surrounded the Southeastern question.  GDP growth rate was -3.6%.  This is the worst quarter for the country since 1982.  On Wall Street, the news has been bad as well.  The Government did not stop trading last week as the DOW fell below 10,000 points, and in the last four days of the week , the index lost fully 30% of its value, dropping to barely over 7,000 points.

Infaltion is up, with the CPI rising 4.6% this month.  This was driven by a rush to buy up certain supplies, particularly fuels and foodstuffs, in preparation for a possible civil conflict.  With petroleum prices falling below $47 a barrel and no conflict on the horizon, more regular inflation rates are expected for the coming months.

Unemployment shrunk to 5.6%, unemployment is a lagging indicator which explains the movement that is opposed to the other indicators.

[The Duke]

Midgard Wire Service

NEW YORK-- On Monday, the Dow Jones Industrials Average rose 721 points, a massive rally that makes this monday the largest single day point gain on record.  The Dow closed up 535 points today, the second largest point gains ever.  With Civil War fading into distant memory, Atlasia seems like a bargain buy.  The Dow closed at 8,258 points.

[The Duke]

May 5, 2005

Report From Jerusalem[/size]
Don't Forget The Middle East

By Jimmy Olsen[/b]

JERUSALEM-- Just so no one forgets about this volatile region, or gets out of touch with the goings on, a brief update on what's happenning.

In Lebanon, the Syrian military is gone, but intelligence forces reportedly remain.  In Israel, Prime Minister Sharon is trying to hold together his withdrawal plan as his cabinet pulls apart.  In Saudi Arabia, municipal elections were held recently, and the Islamists won.  In Iraq, violence ticked up in April, with 16 Americans dying.  This is the highest number since January of this year.  In Iran, repression of student demonstrators continues, while the nuclear weapons program moves ahead.  In Egypt, we are coming up on the first true democratic elections ever this September.  Saudi Arabia says they are producing oil at capacity and won't be able to increase production to meet growing demand.  And in Dubai, there building a skyscraper that you can see in thefactor's signature that will be the world's tallest.

They're busy over there, didn't want people in the dark about 'em.

Dow at 8,500[/size]
Markets Limping Back After Civil Conflict Scare

By Lois Lane[/b]

NEW YORK-- After a scare conjured by Governor StatesRights, the markets tanked.  Markets love stability, and it was gone big time.

Now, stocks limp back to normal values but they're keeping the instability of the past few months in mind.

The big question now, economically, is whether a new Treasury Secretary will be appointed, and who.  Rumors are that President Alcon views the Department as such an abject failure that its not even worth filling.  Given the dearth of talented applicants, its not clear that there is anyone who could be of much service anyway.

Most on the street want someone in the post, if for nothing but symbolic reasons that the economy is important to the President, but no one expects a Treasury equivalent of what Peter Bell was to Justice or John Ford was to Defense to come along anytime soon.

Oil prices fell to $46 a barrel today.

The Beltway Beat[/size]
Shut Up About The Title

By Ron Troupe[/b]

HOLLYWOOD-- Someone told me that Texasgurl was going to run for Senate.  I don't remember who it was.  Oh wait, that's right, it was Texasgurl who told me.  So its probably true.

But I don't care about that anyway, I'd rather spew venom at the loyal readers who always bitch about how my column is called The Beltway Beat even though all three installments have been filed from Hollywood.

My answer is simple and reasonable.  The reason I write from Hollywood is:

1. I don't like DC in the summer
2. It's a felony for me to leave Cali until my parole is over

Happy now?  I know I am.  But my happiness stems not from this column, but from the Jack Daniels sitting above my fireplace.

[The Duke]

Planet Poll Results

Results with announced candidates

John Dibble      45%
Supersoulty     36%
StatesRights    19%

Results with all "Candidates"

Peter Bell         28%
John Dibble      23%
Supersoulty     21%
Ernest              16%
Statesrights     12%

Total of 42 votes on item 1, and 43 votes on item 2.

Thank you to all who voted.

[The Duke]

May 11, 2005

Bell’s Balancing Act[/b]
Editorial

By Akno21

In the next couple of weeks, we will see how this June’s Presidential Campaign will shake out. However, as of now, we are left to speculate, and which way the candidate’s go now will have a huge effect on the results in June.

Vice President Peter Bell simultaneously must appease the liberals that will not automatically vote for him, while still using his substantial forum affairs expertise and popularity to win over second preferences, and maybe even first, from the right. The question is, what will he do when they are mutually exclusive? The true size of the leftist voting bloc is disputed, but as the February elections showed, it can push a mediocre candidate over the hump. It would be grossly inaccurate to compare Peter Bell in June with Lewis Trondheim in February, since Trondheim already had the leftist base, but lost the center, while it might be the opposite for Bell. But if we take anything from the last election, it is that there are many strategies inferior to actively courting the leftist vote.

The question then is, how well is Bell doing among Leftists? If we take the Daily Planet poll to be correct, Bell has first preference support from 28% of Atlasians. But with no other leftist candidates in the race, and leftists and leftist moderates making up more than 28% of Atlasia, it is clear that he does not have all the support of the left and moderate left. When John Dibble receives 23% in a field with 3 other relatively conservative (Ernest is no liberal), it means that he picked up some of the leftist vote, likely the Opebo/BRTD vote. Certainly, Bell is a social moderate-liberal, though with economic views tilting toward the right, the Libertarians may suit social liberals the best. If Bell allows that to happen, and the Libertarians get deep in the election, picking up wasted votes rapidly (as would have happened the last time the Libertarians ran a candidate), Dibble may be our next President.

But, Bell can prevent this from happening. By picking a Vice-President more liberal than himself he can appease the ones on the left clamoring for more liberalism. A “liberal” short list would likely include Secretary of State Siege40 and Pacific Lt. Governor Immy.

However, he may attempt to charge the center, which would ignite a clash of titans between center-right Senator Supersoulty and Bell. However, with Supersoulty being almost as close to the center as Bell, and Atlasia so divided, it is not likely that Bell would have much luck changing votes of centrists and center-rightists, and with 3 viable rightist candidates to choose from, there simply isn’t enough open space for Bell to squeeze into if he attempts to go right. If he does go right, possible Vice-Presidential selections include Ebowed of South Carolina, Senator MAS117, and Attorney General MHS2002.

His ultimate goal will be to hold the entire leftist vote, while breaking through on the right, carrying enough from there to add to an impressive total from the left that would enable his victory. Whether he can do both, or if they are mutually exclusive, is yet to be seen, but Vice-President Bell is certainly in a balancing act right now.

[The Duke]

May 14, 2005

DOW Tops 10,000![/size]
Returns to Pre-Civil War Levels

By Lois Lane[/b]

NEW YORK-- The DOW today rose above 10,000 points for the first time since the Civil War scare drove investors running from Atlasia.  The stability since the scare has brought many into the market, hoping to make huge profit on undervalued assets.

The only stock that continues to fall is the Titan Sports, which owns the WWF.  That's what you get for starting up the XFL, bitch.