Comedy Goldmine V: A Tribute to Delayed Sequels with Over-the-Hill Actors

[Sensei]

Ben, you don't want to bring that one up.

Why not?

Have you forgotten?

bring us up to speed, Xahar.

[Sensei]

lol at Naso

For those curious...so....nobody....Phil often mocks me for my lack of significant religious beliefs. My parents were born in the 50s and 60s and were baptized Catholic and went to church as children. However, my sisters and I were not baptized, and grew up not going to church...so we were kind of left to decide religion on our own.

For me, I believe that Jesus died for our sins and that someday we'll walk among him in Heaven. Phil seems to find it incomprehensible that my sisters and I have zero religious background. My parents just never bothered to baptize my sisters or I, and didn't take us to Church...not for any specific reason, but just never did. My mom never goes to Church but graduated from Catholic high school in '86. My grandparents were born in '32 and went to Church as recently as the 1960s...but they no longer go...not really for any specific reasons. Maybe it just wears off on some people, I can't say...I have no experience in that area.

Naso,it's not that you aren't religious. What I could not comprehend was your total ignorance. Remember when you were "Half Catholic, half Christian?" Or how about Jesus "rising from the ashes" and you believing in "Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints."

[Хahar 🤔]

Ben, you don't want to bring that one up.

Why not?

Have you forgotten?

bring us up to speed, Xahar.

Self-posting that on the 4th Goldmine.

[Sensei]

Ben, you don't want to bring that one up.

Why not?

Have you forgotten?

bring us up to speed, Xahar.

Self-posting that on the 4th Goldmine.

Oh. How could i forget that....

[King]

Besides, younger girls are better because their vagine doesn't hang like sleeve of wizard ..

Um......let's not talk about that sentence...please...anything....let's discuss anything....

Let's discuss Franklin Pierce. Baseball. Candy bars. Anything but that sentence.

Of course, Andrew.  What do vaginas have to do with dating girls anyway?

[Хahar 🤔]

Ben, you don't want to bring that one up.

Why not?

Have you forgotten?

bring us up to speed, Xahar.

Self-posting that on the 4th Goldmine.

Oh. How could i forget that....

The incident that left gporter smelling like a rose.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ben, you don't want to bring that one up.

Why not?

You were 6 in 2000.

[Keystone Phil]

Jamespol's reason for why Missouri was "stolen" from Hillary and Huckabee in the primary:

A friend of mine, a black person, bragged that he voted twice in two different spots, as did a McVain supporter that I know.

[jesmo]

Jamespol's reason for why Missouri was "stolen" from Hillary and Huckabee in the primary:

A friend of mine, a black person, bragged that he voted twice in two different spots, as did a McVain supporter that I know.

Well, sexy, it is true...

[DownWithTheLeft]

I see the States as individual parties, each of whom signed a contract: the Constitution.  Perhaps that doesn't make sense, but it does to me.

[J. J.]

Uh...did opebo call J.J. a "n?"

Why should they be displeased with McCain?  He is an extreme right winger.

As for what they are saying now, have been saying, and will be saying through to the election:  code words for 'there's a n****r in the woodpile!'.

No, "child in the woodpile."

No, n****r.  It works wonders electorally - you'll see.

Kind of offended yet still amused.

Well, he wouldn't be the first.

[Sensei]

You know, I have never thought of her as being anywhere near "hot"... but she's starting to look kind of attractive to me lately. Is it just me?

Yes, it's definitely just you.  Cross-eyed, lanky, bad teeth ... though I must admit to being a fan of her ghetto booty.

[Verily]

I have absolutely nothing to say in answer to that question.

Context.

[Keystone Phil]

They prefered doing drugs, taking up liberal causes, and trying to talk to our enemies.

You really help our cause, Mike.

I'm not gonna stand back and play the whole "let's be pc" game. I am allowed to speak my mind freely on the issues, and after his snide remark...I had to say something.

"Prefered doing drugs," Mike? Come on.

Of course anger may have intruded the keyboard, as well.

[© tweed]

Big Tabacco = coolness.

the republicans favor big tobacco
the democrats will stick up for little tobacco

[YRABNNRM]

In before Phil...

She would be the hottest veep ever so she has that going for her. Other than that maybe she needs to wait a little bit.

you call that hot? just looking at her picture for one moment makes me want to barf.

You need my upcoming book:

[Hash]

In March of 1973, the economy continues to worsen and it is on the brick of a recession, but is still not there yet. Gas prices are continuing to rise. President Romney makes a trip to Europe this month and meets with the European prime minister as well as members of the british royal family.

[YRABNNRM]

Dont like how Mccain exposed his nipples the whole time

[riceowl]

Went to see it with friends because there was nothing else to do, lots of dorks there.

You post on a political message board.

[Keystone Phil]

I am indeed still a Republican, and I do believe R. Kelly isn't guilty.  It's not an act.

[Sensei]

I am indeed still a Republican, and I do believe R. Kelly isn't guilty.  It's not an act.

How could someone who could create such a beautiful musical suite as "Trapped in the Closet Chapters I- XXVI" be guilty?

[Хahar 🤔]

Regardless of whether I was poor or rich, I would still believe that taxation is theft and that welfare discourages coming out of poverty.

Love that certainty.

[The Mikado]

There is no chance that Barack Obama will get more than 38% of the vote in Oklahoma this Election. If Obama does manage to get more than 38%, there is something wrong with the Oklahoma electorate. It goes against the electoral grain of wood in Oklahoma, if a liberal African-American Senator running for President of the United States manages to get more than 38%.

The first sentence of this post is fine.  The second sentence says that the voters are wrong if they vote in a way their demographics don't suggest.  The third sentence uses a massive mixed metaphor ("Electoral grain of wood?"), and makes a presumption about a circumstance that has never happened before (A "liberal" African-American Senator running for President).

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

8 points is still a solid win, its hard to think a state will swing that hard one way in 4 years

Six states did it in 2004, and twenty-seven in 2000.  It's not exactly "hard to think".

Thinking is always hard for DWTL.

[YRABNNRM]

I now support McKinney if Obama is going to joke about guns.